Wow, this chapter has gone up real quick! I just love the idea behind this one, and it may be a little fluffier/cuter than my previous ones...but action will be back shortly!!! Hoorah for fluff!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except my goldfish.
On with the story!
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Alice had been out a while, though not as long as the previous time.
It was an almost agreeable state for Alice to be in; over the past few days she had been holding her very own life in her hands – controlling and over analyzing every situation and word, and now, laying helpless on the ground, she felt finally she could let what was to come, come. She was absolutely powerless, and instead of being afraid, she was relieved.
She was lying across the ferns, with the Hare and the Hatter standing over her; an extraordinary sense of deja vu floating into the atmosphere. She could hear their voices, and for a worrying instant, she was unsure whether time had gone backwards or forwards. And just like the last time, she was sore, though once again, not as sore. Was it possible to get used to being attacked? Alice thought not. She pretended to still be out, busy concentrating on their voices and breathing patterns. It amazed her how she had grown to recognize their voices from miles away, even their breathing was distinguishable. She enjoyed the sunshine that must have been creeping through the canopies, and let their familiarities fill her till she could bare it no longer; her eyes fluttered open, meeting two welcoming pairs of eyes above her.
A sense of irritation and relief washed over her."I'm alive?" She asked, her voice thick and uncertain.
At this the Hatter grinned, relieved to see her well. "Yes, you're alive. If alive means you are breathing, then yes; certainly. You are alive!"
Perhaps feigning unconsciousness for a little while longer would have been the better option, after being greeted back with such confusing enthusiasm. Alice felt as though her head was swimming.
"Oh," she managed to say back, then memories came flooding back to her, filling her with more guilt than her head could handle. She had been running; running to find the Hatter. Was that what had happened? It must have been so, though it seemed so strange and faraway to Alice. "Oh, Hatter, I'm so so-"
He held up one gloved hand to stop her. "Not now, you're still not coherent. You need to rest."
"I was just going to say that I-"
"Later, Alice," he told her gently.
"I'm-"
He shook his head at her.
"Sorry," she sighed softly, unable to meet his eyes.
"Well," the Hare coughed, "I'm glad we're all jolly good friends again." He looked down at Alice, though, with a certain amount of concern. "You really need to stop ending up like this, you know."
Alice sighed again, her muscles aching. Was there anything she could do without ending up in dull pain? "Tell me about, I think she knocked me out hard; my head is spinning."
"The same woman?"
"Yes; the exact same. I saw she had the disease this time, too. I don't understand, though. Shouldn't I be dead? She may have got it wrong the first time, but surely the second time she would make sure there would be no more mistakes..."
The Hare and Hatter both stiffened, but the Hare was the first to speak, his voice hard and authoritative. "You," he pointed an accusing finger at her, "are not going anywhere alone anymore. It is simply not safe."
Her heart sank. The unusual sensation of being helpless – and liking it – was beginning to wear off increasingly. "Oh, come on, that's really not necessary. Besides, I've been thinking if this woman truly did want to kill me, she would have done it already. Please don't make a fuss."
The Hatter shook his head vehemently. "No, no, don't be too sure. This is not the sort of thing to be taken lightly, Alice. You do not leave either of our sight, even if it means I have to handcuff you to me myself."
Now it was Alice's turn to turn firm, with her cheeks turning a light shade of pink, "handcuffing will be completely unnecessary, I assure you."
"Either way, my point is illustrated."
"And I understand it perfectly," Alice told him with perfect indifference.
"So we agree then?" The Hatter asked anxiously.
"Yes."
"Good," he spoke firmly.
"Good," Alice matched his cold tone.
They both dismissed each other coolly at the same time. The Hare's eyes darted between them like eyes would in a tennis match. Back and forth; back and forth. He looked worried. Perhaps now would be the time to act.
"Are you feeling better, Alice?" The Hare asked after an awkward pause, a little apprehensive.
She seemed momentarily dazed by the question, but managed to clear her head before anyone began to worry. "I'm perfectly fine now," Alice then seemed to realize the truth of it as she said it, "how wonderful!"
The Hare whistled a sigh of relief, "well, with that fact now known, I'll take my leave. I believe I have many important things to do. Many important things."
"Like?" The Hatter quizzed, one eyebrow raised.
"Tea."
"Well," the Hatter raised his hands in understanding, "enough said."
The Hare gave a final nod to the two of them before leaving the woods. He glanced back at them over his shoulder occasionally as he hurried away, but overall left them in peace.
"That was subtle," Alice tried to joke, all of a sudden nervous as to what was to come. She was propped up on her elbows and was making an effort to get up. The Hatter reached out and offered his hand, which was gratefully accepted. She stood up and felt the blood rush to her head, blurring her vision.
"Perhaps I spoke too soon when I said I was fine; I swear I am seeing two of you," she confessed, grabbing onto his arm for support.
"As if one isn't enough to drive a person insane!" He laughed heartily, before casting an anxious glance at the weak blonde clinging onto him, "Are you sure you're alright? I can help you back down if you like," but truth be told, helping her back down would mean releasing her from his grasp, something he wasn't sure he wanted to do just yet.
To his infinite happiness, she shook her head. "No, no, I'm fine....It's clearing."
She stepped away all too soon, strong and healthy again, and at a perfectly respectable distance. The space gave them both the space to clear their heads.
"So," the Hatter began conversationally, "I heard that before your little run-in, you were coming into the woods to seek amends with me, is that true?" His tone was note smug, but perhaps a little excited.
Well, this is it, Alice thought to herself, this is what all her preparation had led to. She took a deep breath, and one step forward. She linked her hands behind her back, and unconsciously hung her head a little.
"Yes – yes, that's true. Your words shamed me, I guess all I really wanted to say is that you were right, and I'm more sorry than you can possibly imagine. You saw faults in me I didn't even know existed, only so kind of a friend would be so honest and open-hearted to be so caring. If there might be any chance in the future, any way to make it up to you, I will take it. Until that time, though, I hope it is enough to assure you that I'm going to try my best to change, and that I am more disappointed in myself than you can ever be," Alice hung her head a little lower, hoping that there may be the smallest chance for her to redeem herself.
"I was harsh Alice, and I'm sorry for causing you any hurt. You are a better person than the one I painted yesterday, believe me," he spoke gently.
Alice managed to half-smile. "I can't believe that, my faults seem more in number then the stars themselves at the moment."
"More than the stars? Do you have any idea how many that is? If your faults are more than the stars, then there is absolutely no hope for me," he tried to encourage her, searching her face to find any sign of effect.
"I fall short so often."
"We all fall, but I promise you I'll be the one tripping myself up."
At this Alice couldn't help but smile. As strange and erratic he may be, she knew he was now considered a friend. But, a sober side of her reasoned, he will be just one more friend you stand to lose when this all ends badly. Alice bit down on her lip, fighting morbid thoughts from her mind.
"It's okay Alice, there will be an end to this," he assured her, sensing her stress and laying a hand on her shoulder. Alice couldn't deny it felt good; that firm, reassuring hand on her shoulder made her feel ten times stronger, and far more capable. It was as if she had been handed courage in a parcel from the Hatter's kind touch. Courage or no courage, she still had her senses.
"I know," she sighed, "but it is the end of this that I fear the most."
"Sometimes endings end badly, sometimes they end nobly, but sometimes endings are just new beginnings," he said, while nodding wisely, though not quite sure himself if it made any sense.
"Will I have a choice in the matter, though?"
"Probably not," he answered cheerfully.
Alice sighed. "At any rate, I am very sorry," she concluded.
"As am I."
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Alice had been awake for a good part of the night already, her thoughts spinning around her head like a carousel. That is, a carousel she could not get up onto or make any sense of. She replayed scenes and conversations through her head again and again as she tried to force her blue eyes shut. No matter how much time or patience Alice seemed to allocate to the mystery that now seemed to be her life, she simply could not make it out. If only she had been able to learn the Cheshire cat's secret, the secret that eventually cost him dearly. If she had known it, been able to coax it out of him, she had a strong gut feeling this all would have made a lot more sense. It was like a missing piece to a puzzle; if it is gone, the puzzle is incomplete, let alone comprehensible. Alice would gladly go on a mad hunt to find that missing piece; if had it not gone under with it's master; under the Queen's spell.
Her thoughts twirled around in circles, though instead of finding answers along the way, she dug up more questions. One of the biggest was that of who actually was the Queen. It is nearly impossible, chasing after someone, who is chasing after you, who had no form whatsoever. How could it even be possible to stay as hidden as she was? Her thoughts drifted back to the Cheshire's secret. It had been about the Queen. Perhaps that was even the secret itself; how the Queen stayed hidden. Or who she was. Or where she was. Anything would have been acceptable, as long as it got her off this carousel that continued to go nowhere, but rotated in endless circles.
And now this old woman was presenting herself as a problem. She was working for the Queen, unless she had some other personal ill-will toward Alice, which seemed unlikely. She was yet another mystery to Alice – why had she merely injured her momentarily instead of killing her? She had used the disease against Alice, though in small amounts, and all it had done was knock her out for a while.
But despite all her questions, and her undeniable lack of answers, Alice could sense she was close. Once again, a gut feeling reared itself in Alice head, promising the secret lay once again behind closed doors in the castle itself. Of course! What better place to keep a secret about an entire Kingdom than in the very place that runs it? The castle had everything; security, endless rooms, and mystery that could cover a lifetime of secrets and motives. If only she had that missing piece...then perhaps it would all make sense to Alice.
Alice pulled herself up out of bed. The night was unusually warm, and she had no desire to sleep; near death experiences or not. She pulled a heavy, blue coat over herself, despite the temperature, and slipped out barefoot down the hall. She passed many quiet rooms till she was outside, and the night sky shone above her head like jewels. The fresh air filled her lungs with a new sort of hope, and a new sort of reason. Through all her years of applying logic and reason to the workings of mankind, here was the place it all vaporised into yet another mystery of the night sky. Nothing mattered here; and yet everything did. Logic did not exist; yet the chaos that organized this place was it's own breed of logic. Here, nothing was reality except the air you breathed and the feelings you felt. Alice felt like she had been renewed; reborn. Determination filled her as she wondered through the misty garden; she would discover this mess, and when she did, she would be the one to put a stop to it. Not the Mad Hatter, not the March Hare, not even the Queen herself; it would all be Alice. She would be the heroine of her own story.
As she approached the front of the house again, she noticed a figure laying down on the gravel path, facing upright toward the sky. She froze. Surely this could not be happening, and so soon? Why doesn't someone just kill her to get it over and done with? She was about to turn away promptly and either run away screaming, or....well, she hadn't fully considered any other option yet, when she realized she knew that figure.
The Hatter.
She made her way over shyly, wondering if he would be embarrassed by her catching him like this, or would he just shake it off; a regular occurrence? He did not move, even though her footsteps were loud and clear against the muddy grass, and Alice wondered if he had fallen asleep. She leaned over to look down at him, to see with surprise his eyes wide open...watching?
"Hatter? Uh, what are you doing out here?"
He continued to lay down flat on the ground, staring past her inquisitive face, up into the sky. His expression was thoughtful, a state that rarely crossed his face. His eyes shone as they reflected the stars above him.
"Star gazing," he said finally.
Alice considered this for a moment, before she deduced she could make absolutely nothing of it. She was mystified.
"Oh," she said simply, finding it to be the only adequate thing to say, "why?"
Now he tore his gaze away from the heavens to her face above him. He watched her face for some time, as if torn between speaking or remaining silent, a battle taking over his bizarre features. In an entirely uncharacteristic movement, his lips pulled out very slowly into a half smile, as he patted the gravel next to him.
"Come try for yourself, then maybe I'll tell you."
Alice raised a brow. He wasn't serious was he? Feeling like an utter lunatic, as her curiosity got the better of her, she unsteadily settled herself down next to him awkwardly, feeling the gravel beneath her scrape against the thick coat on her back.
"Okay," she conceded irritably, "I'm down here. Now you can tell me-"
She was cut off by a firm finger pressing against her lips.
"Shhh," he ordered, his voice still holding on to the odd, thoughtful tone, "don't speak. Just look."
He gestured back up toward the night sky, his hands cupping the air in awe. Alice followed his gaze, and let out a short, patch breath; it was breathtaking.
The stars filled the sky to such a degree it was hard to find any areas of pure blackness. They shone brighter than diamonds, casting colors across the heavens as if a painter's palette had been smeared against the jewel-like darkness. Planets were far more visible, and far more lovely, and the constellations seemed to make out shapes she had never heard of before. She thought she saw a chandelier, than a swan but was then distracted by the texture that seemed to consume the night.
The sky did not look flat, instead it was as if she was looking down at the peaks of the tallest mountains; seeing them rise and fall in grand splendor.
Alice was so deep in awe and delight, she had not noticed the Hatter's eyes slide from the sky to her. She jumped though, when she felt her hand being caught up into another one, and kind words began to slide from his mouth.
"You see Alice? And you thought your faults were more than the stars themselves. How can you think such unkind things of yourself when you have seen all this? Do you understand now?" The kind reminder left Alice a little flustered, thinking that no one had done such a kind thing for here when she was feeling out-of-sorts. He smiled at her reassuringly.
"You have friends here, Alice, don't forget that," after that he was up, straightening his coat and bounding inside, leaving Alice bewildered by the night and her strange companion.