About His Long & Winding Road

A/N: Listen to I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For by U2 for the first part before the black line – if you can get your hands on the song. It'll sound better – promise.

By the way, I know Stephanie Meyer's vampires don't eat or drink, but these ones do.

He felt like he'd lost his way. Somewhere, along the crowded streets, or the quiet narrow roads made for motorbike races, he'd forgotten what he wanted.

Edward Cullen didn't make plans, or divide his days into specific categories. He didn't classify or organize or label. He went with the flow. Cheesy as it sounds, Edward had been 'living' for so long, yeah – a couple of centuries at most – he'd done everything. He'd been everyone and seen till he was ready to criticize or even inwardly carp on about the Eiffel, the Taj Mahal, etc etc.

Where did he stand now? He'd been through the infatuations and the brief periods of flings – the long durations of true love. Nothing seemed to last, not even his much anticipated piano sessions with Bella Swan.

Bella…Edward thought. Where would she be now? A pretty mortal girl, probably married. To a brooding, moody artist, he thought wickedly. No, she wasn't like that…couldn't be. But why should she be thought about by him?

They say life's too short, but Edward had lived longer than anyone; He still hadn't found what he was looking for.

What was he looking for?

(Listen to 12:51 by The Strokes)

The room was completely empty except for a slim bed and a small writing table by the window. I can't sit in here, he thought. Normally, days would pass and Edward wouldn't notice how long he'd been lying in bed for. Today was different?

He had an urge in him, for excitement, a bit of music, something to drink… a pub. Something to make his legs move.

It wasn't the fanciest place where one could run into the Aga Khan or something…definitely not. Mifflin's was a small, all-wooden bar for the best beer bums out there. Edward desperately wanted to tell Hayes about it. Where ever he was…the Pyramids or the Karakorum.

"Hey." He heard a soft, deep voice. There was a young girl with long brown hair ruffled and disheveled, framing her red cheeks and clashing with her green eyes.

He didn't feel like talking…when it came to actual conversations with people, his need for excitement drained away and he was reminded of how that friendship, or love would never last. Maybe not even extend to a second meeting.

"Hi." He decided – he was almost drunk, bored and completely free. He gave her a small smile, making her eyes shine for a second. Yes, Edward knew he was a catch – and the pretty brunette knew she'd never met anyone so gorgeously angelic yet run down as him.

"You alone here?" she shot him a quick flirty smile.

"Yeah," pulling the mug of beer to his lips. "You?" He was thinking if he actually cared…maybe he did this time.

She rolled her eyes and said helplessly "Yeaah, but the drink makes it feel better…I promise." She didn't make any sense, slurring her words together and laughing randomly. "I'm Rachel by the way." Apparently not drunk enough to forget a flirty tone.

(Nothing Compares To You by Sinead O'Connor)

They sat together for a while listening to the Juke Box go from American Girl by The Heartbreakers to Moment of Surrender by U2. Rachel swayed her head, with a soft, reminiscent smile never leaving her face. Edward sat completely still, he wasn't playing the heartbroken lover…just the speculative reject. Bella Swan…Bella Swan…her little index finger with the longest nail out of all ten, and then the tiny thumb with the little black spot on its side. The dancing little fingers…and the look of intense concentration.

Did he miss it?

A/N: Umm….I don't know what to say about this one. I feel its lacking…considering Edward's depth of emotion. I'm trying to show his real side from his thoughts – the teenager in him, and then his brooding role. DID anyone feel it? I must stop explaining everything in these Author Notes!

Please Review!

p.s Is anyone freaked by the song references? Yeah…I'm pretty weird. But the music helps add a convincing tone to the words. Try it for this chapter at least.