Ok, I'm really sorry! Over a month since the last update! Yikes! I am aware that I promised you guys and even though this is no excuse, I have to let you guys know that I was sick for most of the past few weeks (thankfully not the swine flu, actually it was the stomach flu) as well as having my internet cut off for the other few weeks as well. =(
Some of this is a little filler-ish, but it gets MUCH better at the end when . . . well, you'll see! Hope it was somewhat worth the wait, enjoy!
Disclaimer: (Though I have not made a point of saying this before) These wonderful characters all belong to the great and powerful Stephanie Meyer. All hail her and her beautiful imagination! =)
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Previously-
I reached inside the envelope and pulled out a picture. I immediately smiled at what I saw: it was of me and Bella in Rose's dorm, asleep on the floor. My arm was around her thin waist and her creamy forehead was pressed into my shoulder. My head was turned toward her and my other hand wad holding her hand over my cheek. Sunlight was streaming through the windows, making Bella's hair look reddish – brown and if you looked closely, it looked like we were both smiling just a little bit in our sleep. How had I not remembered doing this? I got ready for bed and slipped under the covers. I looked at the picture one last time before sticking it in the small drawer in my nightstand. I turned off the light and closed my eyes with a gigantic smile still plastered onto my face.
Chapter 6- THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN
BPOV
"I'll keep you my dirty little secret (Dirty little secret) Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret (Just another regret, hope that you can keep it) My dirty little secret Who has to know the way she feels inside (inside) Those thoughts I can't deny (deny) These sleeping thoughts won't lie (won't lie) And all I've tried to hide It's eating me apart Trace this life out . . . " So here I was; belting out the lyrics of 'Dirty Little Secret' by the All-American Rejects in my empty dorm room while jumping up and down on my tiny, old bed, which was not the best idea considering my "graceful" history. No, I haven't gone crazy or emo or anything like that, I just happened to wake up on the "right" side of the bed this morning, feeling giddy and keyed up, and so there is the reason for jumping on my bed like a carefree teenager and singing along to one of my favorite songs.
"I'll keep you my dirty little secret – Ah!" Just as the chorus starts up again on my iPod I see the tiny pixie herself looking up at me and laughing. And, of course, my clumsy self chooses this time to make its reappearance. My feet twisted together as I spun around, promptly throwing myself onto the hard, carpeted floor. "Oof!" I could feel a huge gust of air escape my lungs as I hit the floor and groaned.
Alice was trying extremely hard to hide her smile, but it was quite difficult with all of the giggles and snorts escaping from her mouth. I just glared at her from my spot on the ground, which, in turn, only made her laugh harder at my expression.
When she finally calmed down she was able to start her interrogation on my behavior. Alice didn't miss anything, she knew exactly when something was up, especially when you were dancing on your bed, singing into your hairbrush like you did after you got your first kiss when you were a teenager. Hmm, maybe that's what I was acting like: a crazy love-struck teenager who had her first crush. Oh well, I didn't really care anymore.
"So, what's got you singing and dancing these days?"
"I'm not saying a word until you admit to your sneaky little trick you pulled on me last night"
"I have no idea what you are talking about" Her face was completely serious, not like the people in movies who smile and look away when they "try" to keep their cover. She was acting so serious and clueless that I almost believed her. Almost.
"Cut the crap Alice, I know that you set that up at the restaurant unless the managers thought to sit six grown college students at a tiny table with only 2 seats! It was also very 'convenient' how all four of you cancelled on the same night,"
She rolled her eyes at my dramatic accusation, "Fine, whatever Bella, but you will thank me one day! Besides, I know that you had fun, so quit acting like a baby and thank me already."
I narrowed my eyes at her and said in as much of a sarcastic tone as I could muster: "Thank you Alice"
"No problem! See? That wasn't too hard." she smiled and then bounced off to her side of the room, rummaging through her closet, which I won't even describe how many different articles of clothing she had crammed in there.
I got up off of the floor and sat down on my small single bed and started flipping through a magazine. More celebrity gossip was just what I needed to take my mind off of Edward. Most of it was very interesting, though sometimes I could care less about the two page articles that talked about Britney Spears walking around with her kids. It made me wonder if the paparazzi just had nothing better to do than stalking different celebrities with no better drama than walking around doing basic every-day activities. Even I had more drama in my life than some of these people did, if you take out all of the crazy drug-addicted, pregnant, or anorexic people *cough* – Lindsey Lohan, Jamie Lynn Spears, Mary-Kate Olsen - *cough*
"So . . ." Alice started, interrupting my little rant going on in my head, "did you have fun last night? I'd just like to know if my ingenious plan was at all successful,"
I looked down and hid my face in my magazine so that she wouldn't see the slight blush that had stained my cheeks, "Well, if you have to know . . . I had a wonderful time last night"
She squealed, "Yay! I'm so happy for you two!"
"Alice I didn't –"
"Hey pixie! Hey Bella! What's up?" Emmett boomed as he came bursting through the door with Rosalie and Jasper following him.
Jasper glided over to Alice like there was a magnetic pull between them and wrapped his arms around her waist as she bounced up and down in his arms.
"Well Bella was just talking about how wonderful her date was with Edward last night" she blurted out, pointing straight at me.
"Alice! It was not a date! It was a casual dinner between two very good friends that their crazy sister/other best friend tricked them into!"
"Psh!" Alice disregarded my comment with a wave of her hand.
"Alright! Edward and Bella are finally goin' out. I knew that plan would work" he nudged Jasper "it let Eddie-boy finally work he magic on the ladies."
I swear my jaw was on the ground and my face would never return to its normal color. I didn't know if I should be more shocked or embarrassed or frickin pissed. "Wha . . . you . . . you were ALL in on it!" my voice rose and my hands balled into fists. "I can't believe you guys!" I said, pointing my finger at all of them. (AN: not her middle finger, her pointer finger, she's not that pissed)
"Sorry Bells, but this is good for him and for you. He's always so moody all of the time, he seriously needs to get laid."
"Emmett!" We all screamed in union. Smack! That would be Rosalie.
"What exactly did you think was going to happen between us? It doesn't matter if I like him or not because nothing even happened last night and nothing ever will!"
"Don't be such a drama queen Bella. You two are so cute together. Every time I see you guys together I can tell that you like each other. Normal friends don't flirt and smile all the time the way you and Edward do." Rose put her hand on my shoulder.
"I've known him for less than a month and you guys want me to confess my feelings to him? Feelings that I'm not even sure about yet?"
"A month is more than enough time to realize your feelings for someone. I started dating Jasper after 2 days. Rosalie and Emmett started dating after 2 minutes." I looked over at them with my eyebrows raised. Rose gave me a sheepish smile, but Emmett just shrugged.
"Bella, we're not talking about expressing your undying love to him and forcing you to think about spending the rest of your life with him. We just think that it would be good to try going out with each other. See if you like him as more than a friend and if you don't, no harm done."
"Yeah, no harm done except for the awkwardness every time that I see him if this doesn't work out."
"It's already going to be awkward if the both of you have to hang out together while trying to hide your feelings or your ogling at each other," at this I snorted, "What is this Bella? Some middle school drama over a guy you have a crush on? You are in college! Just frickin go up and talk to him and stop acting like a baby!" I let out an exasperated sigh.
"Why the hell do I have to make the "first move"?" He should be man enough to do it, after all I'm the girl!"
"Bella, men are clueless when it comes to showing their "feelings." What you need to do is just walk up to him and be like 'Why the hell don't you ask me out already?'"
I took another deep breath and let my head fall back on my pillow, "Alice I'm done talking about this. I just want some peace and quiet." I guessed that the tone of my voice let her know that I was serious and she backed off.
"Hmph, you and Edward are the most stubborn people in the world," she mumbled.
I smiled to myself, seeing that I had won this argument for now. Alice soon left with everyone to get pizza, but I just felt like staying home and reading Wurthering Heights, one of my favorite and most used books that I owned. It was one of the few that I had taken to college, thinking that I would have enough time to go to a bookstore off-campus to find some newer things to read. I was surprised that people had enough time to go do things every weekend. I was only a month into my college career and I was swamped with homework, though this was my first weekend that I didn't have to pull all-nighters in order to finish it all. I wonder what Edward is doing right now. He is always so easy to talk to; he always makes me feel happy or carefree whenever I'm around him. His personality takes away all of the nervousness or insecurity I feel when I see his flawless face or his piercing green eyes staring into my plain, brown ones. His eyes were just so beautiful and unique, just like his messy bronze hair; they seemed to be the perfect accents to how perfect his personality is. And his lips always look so soft and warm – Ugg! What am I doing? I can't even let my mind wonder with out it going back to thinking of Edward!
I got up off of my bed, threw my book down and held my head in my hands. Maybe Alice was right; maybe I just need to tell him. No, I can't, we were just becoming best friends and this is just going to ruin it. But I can't stop thinking about him. Why did I have to go and ruin a great friendship by liking him? The only person that can make me feel better right now is the Adonis himself. I can still hang out with him, though, I mean, it's not like I have to tell him right now. I just have to hang out with him and get myself to realize that I have no feelings toward him and that we will only be friends. I can show Alice that there is nothing going on between us and she can stop bothering me. But what if I really do like him? Well, I'm fine with just pretending that I only like him as a friend. If it allows me to see him more often, then that's fine with me, but I will never know until I've established my feelings.
I bit my lower lip, took another deep breath and walked out of my dorm, letting my feet guide me as my mind continued to weigh the situation carefully. I turned quickly around the corner and – Bang! – ran smack dab into Edward himself. I banged my head on his and fell backwards onto the floor. These were the moments when I felt like I was in a cartoon; running into the exact person that you were swooning over only to completely embarrass yourself right in front of them.
In moments Edward was up off of the floor, offering his hand to help me up; an apologetic grin was on his face. "Sorry about that Bella, are you ok?"
I smiled at him, "Yeah, sorry about that,"
"Well, I was actually just looking for you. I thought that since the others ditched us again for pizza, that we could watch a movie in my dorm."
This was the perfect opportunity to see if my feelings for him were actually there or not, but it's always a bonus when you get to spend time with someone as sweet and perfect as Edward, "Sure, I'd love to, but let me bring over some of my own movies because as exciting as Emmett's action films are, you are in some serious need of a new genre,"
"What's wrong with a little action? That's what makes it exciting and interesting to watch," he replied smirking at me.
"Nothing at all, except when you've seen enough plane and car crashes to make you want to avoid those vehicles all together. I'll just grab some other movies and meet you there,"
"Fine, see you in a bit," he turned back the way that he had come.
As I was searching through movies that Alice and I had stored in our room I tried to analyze every single thing that happened during our brief conversation. I was sick and tired of being flustered and confused every time that I saw him, wondering if I really liked him or if I was just happy that I had such a good friend. As surprising as it may sound, Edward and I were almost as good friends as me and Alice are.
My thoughts raced as I walked slowly towards Edward and Jasper's dorm. I was having one of those rare out-of-body experiences when you are physically there, but it feels like your mind is somewhere else and you are watching things through someone else's eyes.
Edward was in room 239, I had never actually been there before, we usually hung out in my dorm, but I followed the numbers on the doors counting up to 239. After room 238 I rounded another corner and saw Edward standing there with his hands in his pockets, talking to someone outside of the room.
He had his back toward me and I couldn't see the mysterious figure that was blocked by him. I probably should have let him know I was here and shouldn't have eavesdropped, but at the moment my curiosity was getting the better of me. He shifted a little bit and I caught a small glimpse of long, blond hair and a gorgeous face.
As a reflex the corner of my mouth turned down a little, but I told myself that I shouldn't be surprised. It's not like we were dating so that gave him the right to flirt with other people and have a girlfriend and everything. Besides, we were only friends, and nothing more. It's obvious that he feels this way and I should be thankful that it won't be as awkward with us anymore. She might not even be his girlfriend, although I wouldn't be too surprised if he had one, he was the perfect guy in almost every aspect, according to me.
As much as I wanted to believe that I didn't like him, as I stood their watching him talk to her, feeling my stomach drop, and the corners of my mouth instinctively turn down, I knew that this was a lie. I did like him, much more than he liked me, but that was irrelevant right now. I can finally admit to myself that he is so much more to me than a friend, which has been about the worst thing that happened to me in the past month.
The next thing that happened seemed to go in slow motion; she leaned towards him, eyes drooped, lips parted, head tilted and standing on her toes. My hopes that he would turn away were lost with every centimeter that she got closer to him. Her manicured hand curled slowly and almost menacingly around his neck and pulled him to her. Her lips connected with the ones that I had gazed and dreamed about for weeks and I let out a pained breath like I had just been kicked in the gut. He seemed frozen at first, like he was utterly shocked that a beautiful girl would actually kiss him, but after five painfully long seconds, his large soft hands grabbed her around her shoulders.
My breathing was strangled and thick and I spun around, letting my feet carry me quickly back around the corner and down to my room. I needed to get out of there, anywhere. My legs went faster and faster, not making a noise on the thick carpet. As clumsy as I may be, I actually like to run whenever I'm upset or need to think. It's like my emotions were hard-wired to my feet, and my tear ducts. I threw the movies through my open dorm room and kept running, down the stairs and out of the building, into the warm night.
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So? Like it, hate it? I won't be sure until I get some Reviews.
Yeah, I know that I probably don't deserve them, but seriously 4 reviews for chapter 5! Can we at least keep it above 6? Cuz 4 is pretty lame if you ask me
I have already started writing the next two chapters, so they will be out sooner, but I'm not sure when =)
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