Episode 11
With Mario's predicament explained, he and his partners get ready for the first match. Mario presses the A Button on the Terminal, causing a recording of Jolene to appear on screen.
Jolene: OK, [Mr. Gonzales], you ready? This time, you're going against [The Goomba Bros.]. I want you to [trip and blame Sakurai]. Now get out there and [win].
The Terminal's screen flickers off while Mario walks over to the door. He thinks about how and when he should trip. But, he doesn't get much time to think, as the Security barges into the room, slamming Mario with the door.
Mario: 19/20 HP
Guard #17: Alright, bub, time for your match, come with me.
Mario shakes off the pain and begins to tell off the Guard on how he doesn't know the meaning of "knock." But, the Guard just walks away, with Mario and co. following.
The audience in the Glitz Pit arena was like lightning. But, the music wasn't very soothing, so nobody started grooving... But, the audience was still greatly anticipating the return of the Great Gonzales.
Jolene: OK, everyone! In this next battle we have the Superstar Sequel, the Great Gonzales versus the Meteorite Hardheads, the Goomba Bros.!
Ultra: Ha! We're not gonna go down easily!
Goomba Bro. #1: You remember that we're Bros.! We can't lose if we combine our strength!
Mario: But, you guys are in last... You mustn't be combing your stre-
Goomba Bro. #4: Yo, you're the wimps in last!
Goomba Bro. #4 runs at Mario and head bonks Mario, getting the first strike!
Mario: 18/20 HP
Ultra: 30/30 HP
Mario/Jump/Multibounce/ Mario uses Action Commands to Jump on all of the Goomba Bros. one at a time. But, right before jumping on the last Goomba, Mario does a somersault, misses the Goomba, trips, and falls on his back.
Mario: Darn it, why did Sakurai have to mess with this game and add tripping?!
One Goomba remains...
Ultra/Attack/Hammer Whack/ Ultra walks up to the foe and whacks him with a hammer! 4 damage!
The Goomba Bros. are defeated! 5 Star Points!
Jolene: We got ourselves a winner! The Great-
Mario: Uh, excuse me, but can you call me Mustache instead? That's my name now...
Jolene: Right... This game's winner is the Mustache!
Ultra: No problem at all!
Mario and co. return to the Minor League Locker Room to receive payment...
Jolene: That battle was pretty decent, but I think you could have done more Stylish moves... Well, here's your fight money: 1 coin.
Mario receives 1 coin! Mario's ranking rose to 24!
Mario stares disappointingly at his coin...
Jolene: Now if you excuse me, I must be going.
Jolene exits via the door, leaving Mario to stare at his dull coin...
Mario: This is less than the last time... I got 3 coins last I was here...
Spik3y Joe: Well, while you were gone, we got some new fighters, so the payment had to be deducted some for Minor Leaguers.
Mario: This episode is looking a little short... I think we can fit one more match in!
Mario activates the Terminal and awaits the recording's instructions.
Jolene: Hello there [Mustache], you will now go against [The Dead Bones]. In this match, I wish for you to [Dash Taunt when you win] after you win. Now [win] your best!
Mario: These recordings seem pretty lazily done...
Jolene: Welcome all! Our next match of today features the Bone-Rattling Rockers, the Dead Bones! The challenger approaching them is none other than the Velutinous Vaulter! Yes, that is the Great Mustache!
Spik3y Joe: No holding back, right Mustache?
Dead Bone Guy #1: We're gonna take the skin off YOUR bones!
Jolene: That's still creepy... Er, let's get ready to... BRAAAAAWL!
Mario/Hammer/Normal Hammer/ Mario swings his hammer down at the foe! 1 damage!
Dull Bones #1 defeated!
Spik3y Joe/Attack/Shell Shot/ Spik3y Joe spins inside his shell and shoots himself at the opponent! 1 damage!
Dull Bones #2 defeated!
Dull Bones #3/Tactics/ The Dull Bones builds a new partner!
Dull Bones #4 joined the fight!
Mario: 18/20 HP
Spik3y Joe: 15/15 HP
Dull Bones #3: 1/1 HP
Dull Bones #4: 1/1 HP
Mario/Hammer/Normal Hammer/ Mario swings his hammer down at the opponent and ends with a back flip! 1 damage!
Dull Bones #4 became tame!
Spik3y Joe/Attack/Shell Shot/ Spik3y Joe does the same move he did last time! 1 damage!
Dull Bones #3 is defeated!
5 Star Points received!
Mario taps left and right quickly to run left to right in one spot as a taunt.
Jolene: The Great Mustache has triumphed over the Dead Bones!
Spik3y Joe: Yeah, this is too easy!
Jolene: A very well done match Mr. Mustache. Here you go.
Mario gained 2 coins! Mario's ranking rose to 23!
Jolene: Oh, look, you're ranked as 23! Here's a bonus.
Mario gained 3 more coins!
Jolene: Have a good day, Mr. Mustache. Now if you'll excuse me, I must be going.
Mario: I still think we can fit another math in...
Spik3y Joe: Another math? OK... We used up 5,050 characters so far. I did that with subtraction.
Mario: D'oh! I meant match!
Spik3y Joe: Oh, well, the episode is long enough, let's just END it now.
END