Portraiture

EPOV

I loved Bella.

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The only question now was what to do about it.

In the light of this new information, a lot of things began to make sense. Why Aro was determined for me to be Bella's babysitter, why I always missed her so much, the real reason that Jasper had been reciting Plato, Chelsea's constant presence....

Chelsea. Were my feelings even real? What if it was all Chelsea's doing? My mind rejected that thought almost instantly. This didn't feel manipulated, and surely Chelsea's power would weaken whilst I was away. She would only be strengthening what was already there. Even so, this was still trap. A trap that I had unknowingly walked straight into. Did Bella kn-? No. Bella would not be a part of this, I could never believe that. Aro had murdered his own sister for power, he would have no scruples about using and manipulating his daughter. I realised that I would not be able to talk my way out of this. There was no reason for Aro to allow me to convince him to let his child go, her happiness was of little concern compared to his lust for power . Besides, Sulpicia would never forgive him if he allowed her to leave. He would happily hold her here for eternity, waiting for me to break. Which left me with two options.

One; Leave her. The thought alone was agony. The gaps between visits had been manageable, but only because my feelings weren't yet fully formed. And because I knew they were temporary. To cut Bella from my life forever...it would be unbearable.

Two; Leave my family. Again, the thought was agony, but a lesser agony all the same. When I compared the thought of leaving my family to the thought of losing Bella, the latter was a hundred times greater in magnitude.

I hung my head in shame as I realized that my decision had already been made, had always been made. My eyes stung as they tried without success to tear. I was going to break Esme's heart.

************

Dread washed through me as I approached Bella's door. I was nervous enough already, but only then did my mind choose to come up with the absolute worst case scenario.

He would have no scruples about manipulating his daughter...

I had spent time away from Chelsea, but Bella hadn't. She'd had a crush on me since she was old enough to have one, but what if that had been a mere fabrication? What if...what if she was meant for someone else? My heart began to tear and I pushed the thought aside. Bella was what mattered. I would be here for her as long as she needed me, however she wanted me. Even if she wanted me out of her life forever, I would accept her decision.

A moment later, Bella came rushing out and threw her arms around me in a tight embrace, 'Edward!' she cried. The hug lasted only a second longer before she realized what she was doing and jumped back, a deep blush gracing her cheeks.

************

I watched her face as she drew and could only find it in me to marvel. The way her mouth twisted as she concentrated, how that tiny pucker would still appear between her eyebrows whenever she frowned. Occasionally she would blush as she looked up from her work and I longed to discover the thoughts behind her actions.

My part in our current endeavor was relatively simple for a vampire; sit perfectly still. Not too arduous a task considering it was my natural state. I was only too happy with the arrangement; it left my mind free to occupy itself completely with thoughts of her, the way her hair fell perfectly about her shoulders, the depths of her eyes, how those perfect orbs were the exact colour of the sticky bars she loved so much.....

All too soon she was finished, though it had taken up most of the time we had to spend together. Bella set down her paints, and lifted the canvas off its easel - careful not to smudge the paint. Yet when she moved to come sit by me, she bit her lip and hesitated, glancing back at the paining. I realised that she was reluctant to show me, so I beckoned her forward and she complied.

Her work was exquisite, she'd pictured me wonderfully. Not quite up to the level of the masters, but very close – and she was five. I tried not to think of that, reminding myself that she was already more mature mentally than most humans achieved in a life time – that was what mattered. The fact that she was also physically mature helped, but that brought its own set of problems. Her growth rate had slowed, but was still twice as fast as a normal human's, what if the current rate continued? Or increased? How much time did she have left? What would I do without her?

'So? What do you think?' She asked anxiously, hovering over the painting so that her breath fanned my face. She smelt of freesia, and all of a sudden I found it very difficult to think. I forced myself to answer her question.

'Exquisite' I breathed, not only referring to the painting. She blushed.

'No need to exaggerate'

'No really, its amazing. Although, you never did tell me-' she raised an eye brow '-why did you want me to sit for a portrait anyway?'

She bit her lip, and at first I thought she wouldn't answer, but eventually her reply came out as a whisper 'I can never remember you properly when your gone, I get most of it right, but my memories don't do you justice. This doesn't do you justice either' she gestured to the painting 'But its still an improvement'

What could I say to that? There were no words, so I set the painting aside to dry and stared into her eyes instead. She stared back. Our faces were so close that it seemed like I could feel tiny sparks of electricity jumping the distance between us. She blushed, and I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life. Focusing suddenly on her lips, I felt an overwhelming urge to kiss her. I moved forward slightly, unsure if I should continue. She moved to follow, but hesitated and all of my anxieties came flooding back, one thousand fold from the vulnerable position I had put myself in. Was this what she wanted? Really? Or was it just something Chelsea had done to her? Did that make a difference? Guessing was agony, and I wished for the thousandth time that I could just get one tiny glimpse into her thoughts. I was beginning to back down, to convince myself that I'd made a mistake, when Bella infintessimily inclined her chin toward me.

She did want this! I urged myself on, to get it over with before I could talk myself out of it again.

I leaned forward and ever so gently, pressed my lips to Bella's.

And that there would be the first kiss I've ever written. Feedback? Pretty please?