TEN

Just to be sure, just so he knew, Owen asked Derek if he knew about any 'thing' with Cristina and Meredith. There was a dinner at Boehme's restaurant with Meredith's father but as far as he knew Cristina was no part of it. Owen thanked Derek and stood for a minute thinking about Cristina. He wasn't seconds into his thoughts when Bailey, descended on him, from nowhere it felt like, and without pause used five of the thirty minutes they had before their surgery together, to give him some unwelcome and he felt, inappropriate advice about Cristina. Owen fumed as Bailey claimed an intimate acquaintance with him that allowed her to comment on his relationship with Cristina and on what he should and could be doing differently, so that one of her babies wouldn't find it necessary to be crying in the hospital instead of concentrating on becoming a great surgeon.

The surgery they did together was one of the most tense Owen had been involved in, in his time at Seattle Grace Hospital and he couldn't wait for it to be over. He respected Bailey he really did, but he felt that she had over stepped her boundaries. Whatever the something that was going on with him and Cristina, he was still an attending and her boss. Her frank and familiar manner grated him and the minute they stepped into the scrub room to clean up, Owen pulled rank in clear language letting her know he didn't appreciate her interference before. Bailey stuttered an apology, she knew her place, she didn't want to piss off Hunt, that wasn't her intention. She just felt protective of Cristina's future. Although she wasn't over the moon they were dating, she honestly hoped they could work their differences out. It had just bothered her to see Yang upset and uncharacteristically unsure of herself. Owen accepted her apology and they called a truce and that was it.

*

Owen did his detective work and found Cristina standing at the surgery board. He took the cloth and scrubbed out her name as it was written and penned in Alex Karev. He grabbed her arm and led her away towards his office which happened to be on the floor above. He pulled her into and up the stairwell.

"Wh.. What are you doing?" Cristina balked resisting his pull.

"We need to talk." Owen said firmly marching her up the stairs.

"I don't have ... time for a... talk. I'm scrubbing in... on Sloane's surgery..."

"You're not scrubbing in on any surgery today, I've arranged it. You are on my service today, and right now you and I are in a conference." He whirled her firmly into his small office and shut the door behind them. Pressing one hand against the door, his other hand moved between them as he talked.

"Now, what is it, why are you avoiding me..?"

Cristina looked at him, he looked at Cristina. She didn't say anything, just shoved her hands in her lab coat pockets and put her head down.

"Why is Bailey giving me advice that I do not appreciate, about me and you? Why does Meredith look like she wants to kill me and why is Callie lying to me about where you are. Why didn't she want to let me in the apartment last night?"

Here Cristina glanced at him for a second.

"What is it I am supposed to have done, and why aren't you willing to talk to me about it, why all the avoiding, Bailey said you were crying! I thought we were past this sort of thing. Talk to me please Cris." He only called her Cris on rare occasions, it wasn't her favourite expression of her name, but she let him get away with it sometimes.

She tried to avoid his eyes. Those baby blues were a killer, especially when they looked all sad and desperate like that.

They had had many exchanges during their relationship and so he knew what worked and what didn't. He stepped up and leant into her. She could smell his light cologne. He was close enough for her to feel his breath flutter across her face, and feel his heart beat through his clothes she was sure. One hand went up her arm, over her shoulder, slide up the back of her neck and settled at the back of her head, in her hair. He massaged her with little spine tingling movements. Cristina had to step back because if she didn't, she would push him against a wall and slide her tongue down his throat. She let her movements appear as casual as possible. Damn Owen.

Turning away she walked around his desk and pretended to fidget with something. His office was small, cluttered and uncharacteristically untidy. The message board was layered with paper and notes and articles torn from magazines. There was a red wooden apple that Cristina had given him, which he used as a paper weight on his desk. She intentionally picked it up and turned it over in her hands as a means of having something to do as she thought. There were books and papers stacked high on one corner of his desk next to his computer. One false move and she could send things crashing to the floor. She considered it just to avoid any discussion with him. She was trying to get up the courage she needed to hear about his talk with McDreamy and what that meant to them as a couple.

Owen was waiting. He looked at her. She felt a little sorry for him, because he was upset, genuinely so, but so was she. She also felt a little puffed up and delighted with the fact she had some good friends who were willing, based on the little tread of information she had shared with them, they were willing to stand up for her and defend her and protect her. It was more than she asked for – somehow she was going to let them know, in her own way, that she was grateful.

"Cristina!"

She put the apple down on his desk with a thud. Papers shivered but didn't fall.

"I'm not sure I appreciate you using your rank to get me thrown off a surgery so that we can talk about our relationship."

"Whether you like it or not in this hospital I am your boss and so..."

"...Oh, and so you can just do what you want?"

"You haven't been answering my calls."

"This is a teaching hospital Dr Hunt, and I am here to learn, not to answer your phone calls. You yourself said we'd be too busy working to even have lunch together. Oh, but you're my boss, so you can change the rules whenever you feel like it?"

"Cristina." Owen sighed.

"Dr Hunt?"

He was honestly trying to pin this on her. Make her silence her fault. All she had done was be a loving supportive girlfriend and he was the one who decided overnight that wasn't good enough for him. But before running it by her, he cried to McDreamy and now he was all upset and pulling her off surgeries because she had decided to keep her dignity and not kill him in front of his fellow attendings. Seriously.

"Seriously?" She said.

"What?"

"Seriously!" She said louder. "You seriously..." She couldn't bring her words out. So they just stared at each other. Until Cristina decided to forget about it all, and made for the office door, pulling it open. Owen reacted by stepping forward and putting his hand on it to shut it, but the look she gave him made him realise holding her in his office wasn't going to get them anywhere, so he put his hand down and stepped away from the door.

Cristina froze for some moments, thinking. She closed his office door slowly, taking her time to face him her hurt expression written clearly over her face. "Seriously Owen, you're breaking up with me?" She hated herself for those words, they sounded so desperate and pathetic, but it's what she had been thinking about over and over since Meredith hit her with 'Owen's breaking up with you.' She hadn't been able to think of anything else. "Seriously?" Her turned down mouth emphasised her hurt. "You had to go to McDreamy about us? McDreamy of all people."

"I..."

"..Instead of coming to me you go to Sheppard, and now you're upset with me because I won't talk to you?" Cristina was upset. "So what did he say, your little friend? And what did you say about me exactly, about us?"

"I went to speak to someone about what I was feeling." Owen brought his tone down to manage the situation. "Hasn't that been the point? Aren't I supposed to talk my feelings over with my friends?"

"Ha!" Cristina laughed. The irony, Dr Wyatt had certainly earned her money. "Aren't you the one who asked me to meet you in the middle? Why couldn't you talk to me? Why Derek?"

"Is that your focus Cristina? Sheppard! Is that what you care about, Derek Sheppard? Not us, but what Derek has to say about us! This isn't about Sheppard!"

"No it's about you!" She charged. "Talking to others about where we are; and that hurts. I have to hear from Meredith that our relationship is over. What happened?"

Owens blue eyes pleaded. "It's not like that Cristina; I didn't say I was breaking up with you."

"But you discussed it..?" She fired off.

He couldn't lie. "Yes... but it doesn't mean..."

"It's as good as Owen! When you discuss with a 'friend' that you want to break up with your girlfriend, it's as good as, it means you've been thinking a lot about it." She rifled her hand through her hair, dislodging bundled locks. "What happened between us? What did I miss? Everything was great the other night." She took a pause processing what she had just said. She stared long and hard at him her sadness not disappearing from her features. "Did something happen the other night. Did I upset you or something?"

He sighed and reached a hand to touch her hair.

A feeling of nausea overwhelmed her for a moment, and she breathed through her nose to quell it. She felt dizzy and panicked all at once. It was a strange sensation, one she hadn't experienced in a long time. She had to get out of his office. She didn't really want to hear what he had to say, but knew she had to deal with it as Dr Bailey had suggested. But she also had to get out of there.

"Owen, if you want us finish, you're going to have to do it. So just do it now, so I can get back to work."

"Cristina, hear me out... I just needed to sort out what was going on for me. Derek gave me the opportunity to talk and he listened."

"How quaint." She shrugged him off.

"Look," He reached for her again, pulling her closer to him. "I want us to work through this, I had things on my mind and I didn't know if I was being unfair, I just needed someone to talk to, not you, but..."

"...Wow." Cristina strained to keep herself from tearing up. Ridiculous he was having this affect on her.

"I'm in love with you Cristina, but I'm unsure how you really feel. I need to hear you tell me how you feel. I didn't think it mattered until the other night. We've spent weeks, months together, having fun, having sex, playing your little games, living out your little fantasies but... I don't know, is it all about the sex for you? Do we have anything more here, I thought we did, but I'm not sure you do. No matter how far along we go, you've never found it in yourself to tell me you love me, not often anyway. But I need to hear it. I didn't know before but I need to hear you tell me you love me. " Owen realised how ridiculous and adolescent and desperate he sounded, but it's what he felt. It's what he'd been feeling and thinking about in the last couple of days.

"I don't say I love you and so you're going to dump me? You're amazing!"

Owen released his grip from her arm and placed his palm flat on his office door just beside her shoulder, voice carefully controlled. "Sometimes I don't know if we are on the same page with this relationship."

"You're going to have to do better than that. " She shook her head.

"Well answer me, why don't you ever tell me that you love me. I love you Cristina but after all this time if you don't feel the same way, I don't know how we move on. I don't want to be dating my pal. I want marriage and children and a future, with you, but if all you want is endless sexual adventures and quickies in the hospital then I'm not the one for you, I'm not. "

"I thought we were happy." She said stunned but not showing her emotion.

"We are, but where are we going as a couple?" Those baby blues hardened and stared her down again. "I love you Cristina." Owen stated clearly. Cristina could kill him she really could.

"I know..." she said looking away.

"And there's my point."

"You know how I feel!" She cried. "I'm just not an I love you kind of girl."

"That has got to stop being used as an excuse!" He shouted. "I want...it all... with you Cristina! Everything. But I can't focus on where I want to go, if right here you can't get beyond your hang up or fear, or tradition of not being an I love you kind of person. I am an I love you kind of person and I need to hear you tell me once in a while, that you love me. If you do."

His last three words hit her like a ton of bricks. Of course she loved Owen. She adored him. She shuddered to think what things were like when he wasn't in her life, and how much better things had gotten since he arrived, she couldn't imagine them not being there for one another. She was disgustingly dependant on him loving her. She was arrogant enough to think that as accepting as he was of her he wouldn't care that she wasn't your typical caring female. Not being an I love you type of person was a badge she embraced, everyone knew and accepted that about her, she was Cristina Yang. She thought he loved that about her.

"I have told you how I feel."

"You can't even say the words now can you, not even to prove a point." The whole thing annoyed him.

"I have told you that I love you." Cristina said simply staring at him. Sick that he had even thought about ending things without one word of warning, or discussion with her.

"During sex doesn't count to me." Owen patted his chest. "The three occasions during sex doesn't count."

Cristina couldn't believe that he had been counting. Well counting was an overstatement; even she knew how many times she had said it. She was keeping tabs herself, but she didn't know he was. She thought she was doing well having said it that many times. She couldn't have been more wrong or felt more terrible that he was keeping count too. The looks they gave each other put their relationship on the very edge of something. What, depended on how this situation resolved itself.

"Four." Said Cristina.

"What?"

"I've said it four times. You forgot July 4th long weekend, we had sex at your apartment. I said it while you were sucking my tits and fingering me." She turned, pulled the door open and left Owen staring after her wide eyed mouth open.