ELEVEN
"Fucking men." Cristina landed her arms on the raised counter at the nurses' station and buried her head. Meredith and Callie looked at each other. "I am being dumped because I don't say I love you."
"What!" Callie cried.
"You were right, Mer. I don't talk about my feelings and so now it's over."
"What?"
"But you're not an I love you type of person." Said Meredith.
"Thank you." Enthused Cristina looking up. "Thank you. See, that's why you're my person. That's why Owen is not my person. You are my person because you understand me. For that..." Cristina faced Meredith who stiffened suspiciously as Cristina approached her. "...Just for understanding me I am going to give you one, a hug." She pressed Meredith quickly in her arms. "And two, I am going to tell you that I love you. Meredith. I love you."
Meredith grinned. "I love you too Cristina Yang."
Callie shook her head smiling.
"You see," Cristina looked at Callie. "You see I am capable of feelings. Owen thinks I am an android."
"He said that?"
"No but he believes me in capable of those three little words."
"And are you?" Callie questioned.
"No." Said Cristina, "But I don't need to be saying it all the time all over the place, I'm not Izzie, or you. Besides... I said it to Burke and he left."
"You told Burke while he was asleep." Prompted Meredith.
Cristina's squint at Meredith read 'you're not helping with comments like that'. "But I said it and he left and it's traumatised me. I can't just blurt those words out any more."
"Not that you ever did blurt them out before, and Owen is not Burke. " Said Meredith.
Cristina shot Meredith a firm grimace.
"So wait." Callie spun on her swivel chair. "You have never said I love you to Owen?"
"I've said it." Defended Cristina.
It was Meredith's turn to squint at Cristina. "When? When did you say it?"
Cristina leisurely reached over the counter for a pen, and post it note and fake made she was writing a fake note. Meredith snatched it away and repeated her question. Cristina mumbled something. "Say again?" Meredith leaned in.
"During sex." Hissed Cristina then again louder. "During sex okay! Three, no four times during sex, alright! So shoot me. He's dumping me because I say it during sex."
Callie swung her legs onto the desk and flipped her hands behind her head. "Who hasn't said I love you during sex. Heck I'd give out my pin number during sex, if it was good."
"Exactly Callie, no big deal during sex. That's why you're my roommate and Mer is my person. You both get me."
"Actually, you're my roommate." Callie corrected. "Wait, how long have you been with Owen?"
"...A year."
"And you've never told him you love him, except during sex?"
Cristina didn't say anything.
"Not once outside of the bedroom?" Callie sat up. "That's not good. No wonder he's dumping you."
Her friends looked at her.
"Do you love him?" Callie asked.
Cristina's mouth opened but her words didn't come out straight away. Meredith jumped in. "Of course she does."
"...But just saying I love you during sex doesn't count," Surged Callie. "Everyone does it. One good orgasm and I love you pops right on out. You don't even have to mean it; it goes along with good sex. Everyone knows that."
Meredith kind of nodded.
Callie counted out on her fingers."So you've been with Owen a year. You've had sex hundreds of times, I live in the same house so I know, and you say you love him, but you've only actually told him three or four times and all those times have been during sex...."
"It really isn't good enough." Said Meredith
"It's not good enough, not with someone like Hunt. " Said Callie. "Who cares so much about you!"
'That's what he said.' Thought Cristina.
"You love someone you just let them know, why are you so scared of that?" Demanded Callie.
"Scared of what..?" Said Izzie sidling up. "What are we talking about?"
"Cristina." Callie stated.
"Hey!" Cristina Balked.
"She's too chicken to tell Owen that she loves him."
"What?"
"Yeah, she only tells him during sex, and she's only said it four times." Callie shook her head.
"Callie!"
"That's shocking!" Izzie accused making a face at Cristina. "Don't you love him?"
"That's what I said." Callie offered.
Cristina raised her eyebrows disapprovingly at Callie. "I don't talk about my personal life at work."
"Bullshit!" Izzie remarked. "It's a simple question. Do you love Hunt or don't you? If you don't why are you wasting his time?"
Cristina hung on those words, not showing their effect on her. "What do you mean?"
"Are you kidding me? I know of at least three nurses and two great surgeons, female surgeons that would put a bag over your head and push you down the stairs for the chance to... you know, with Hunt. If you're not that into him Cristina, tell him and let him go and have fun with someone else. If I didn't have Alex I would definitely think about it. Wouldn't you Mer? I mean Hunt is a passionate sort of guy and I like people who are passionate."
"Yes well, thank you for the information. But it's not as simple as that." Said Cristina.
"It is as simple as that." Said Izzie folding her arms. "That's typical of you Cristina, here you have this great guy falling over himself for you, he's at your beck and call. The blind could see how much Hunt gives a dam about you, and you can't be bothered show him some emotion, and don't say your stunted because Burke left you at the altar, you've always been stunted Cristina, and selfish. You couldn't give Burke what he wanted and that's why... "
"...Alright Izzie." Said Meredith.
There was silence, no one moved. Izzie stared at Cristina who stared back at Izzie. Meredith stared at them both and then rested her eyes on Callie who raised her eyebrows at Meredith.
"Well," Said Callie slowly. "I got surgeries... or something." She got to her feet and moved off.
"I'm on duty with Sheppard." Izzie's eyes peeled off Cristina as she walked away.
"She didn't mean all that." Meredith said quietly.
"Oh no? Barbie couldn't wait to get that off her chest. So I don't do I love you's, is that a crime?"
"No, "Said Meredith. "It's a cop out." She patted Cristina's arm and left.