Chapter Two: Meta Knight

We were left waiting for that moronic hedgehog for a little over an hour. While I waited I observed my competitors. I closely studied their moves and watch for subtle ticks that might give away any clue as to their fighting styles.

The man next to me seemed the most formidable. He would present a challenge in the future I was sure of this. He had an arrogant, no not the right word, confident air about him the way he barely seemed to skim over the crowd as if he was aware of our weakness and strengths beforehand. He gave me a discomforting feeling, but I remained stoic externally as to not give my worry away.

Kirby was here. He had arrived after me and upon seeing me sitting at the nearly full table sat himself next to me with a characteristic squeak. He smiled up at me obviously ecstatic to see some form of familiarity. He had been in this competition several times before; perhaps he would be able to give me a few pointers as how to quickly and efficiently wipe out the other fighters.

Finally!! The hedgehog arrived the smug idiot, walking into the great hall as if he owned it, smiling his cocky smile at all of us. He looked briefly at the décor then dismissed it as if it was all inferior to him. I would have liked to bash every tooth right out of his head but I remained seated. My time in the ring with him would come and it would be then that my vengeance would be felt. Then he had the audacity to laugh at me in front of everyone! How very uncivilized.

The rest needs not be mentioned other then to say it was a waste of my time. The rules this so called 'Master Hand' informed us of were generic and I could have definitely figured them out all in good time without this ridiculous meeting.

Well, all was not useless. I learned the names of my foes as they went to collect the keys to their rooms. However, it would take time to memorize them and put names to faces. To know your enemies is the first step to conquering them. I knew Sonic and Gannondorf, the most impressive figure at the table. There was of course Kirby and a Wario who was to be my roommate. He seemed, at the time, to be sane enough, I figured by his body language that what he lacked in skill he made up for in sheer erratic maneuvers leaving his enemies more confused then anything. I ended the initial evaluation, concluding in mild frustration that I would be rooming with someone from whom I would have nothing to learn.

Ah, well. I settled in that night planning to train everyday until the first fighter list was posted in the main hall. I must hone my skills. I was good, but as good as the others here? To assume that could warrant failure. It never pays to be overconfident. The hedgehog would learn that soon enough.

The next day was the first of several very intense days to follow. It started with a very nicely prepared breakfast in the dining room. A lovely place with a wall lined with windows displaying a view of the grounds. The place was truly superb! Whoever built it was a true genius, something I can appreciate. For there are so very few of them left alive. That became more and more apparent as I continued to talk, rather, tried to talk to my roommate. To put it lightly, he was a complete moron.

"So this is also your first competition? How do you think you'll fair?"

"I does not matter how I fair!" The man's voice was like a trumpet out of tune. "I just came here for the lovely children."

"Do you mean to say that you are here for some sort of charity?"

"If that is what you call it."

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Soon you will. Soon there will be enough lovely children to make twenty sweet rave parties."

It was at that exact moment I gave up trying to communicate with my roommate, permanently.

Sitting in the dining room munching on my bacon, I considered the possibility of changing roommates. Would I have to go to the Master Hand? Or could I simply swap with someone without going to him. The latter would be so much easier. I decided to keep quiet unless I where to overhear anyone else complaining about their rooming situation. That's when I would make the proposal, until then I figured it best just to endure.

It was some time into the second week in the house when I began to loose my mind. I could only stay in the gym between the hours of 6 am until 10pm at which time it would close. I would either have the option to return to my room were I knew that invalid was surely waiting or wonder the grounds until 12 midnight when it was mandatory that all occupants return to their rooms and remain there until 6 am the next morning. To say the least I was left with plenty of time to myself, to ponder, observe and meditate.

I found myself unintentionally lurking the in the hallways at night trying desperately to find anything that would no matter how temporarily keep me from having to return to my room. Occasionally I would run into someone and strike up a conversation. On one such event I had the fortune experience of speaking to a lovely young girl named Jigglypuff.

She offered me the first time we spoke, if one can fathom the concept intelligent enjoyable conversation for nearly an hour I daresay. Though there was something wrong with her diction, the pauses and how she spoke altogether. It seemed to be rehearsed. Could it be that she had anticipated our meeting? Replaying her responses and questions over and over again in her head until she got it all down just right? Seems improbable but that is the impression I got.

I was outside at the time, gazing at the lush gardens watching Kirby frolic through them, trying in vain to catch a butterfly here a dragonfly there. It was really very endearing.

It was then a heard a small voice behind me,

"Um, excuse me?"

I turned on the tiny Jigglypuff she seemed to be taken aback as if she hadn't expected me to even acknowledge her existence.

"Do you know the way to the gym?"

I gave her a second look over. How nervous she was. I could tell her eyes were dilated, her fight or flight response was in full force. Was I really that intimidating?

"Yes, it's that way. Just passed the pool, in the big glass building. Shouldn't you know?"

"Oh, what do you mean?"

"You've been in this competition twice before haven't you?"

"Yea, but the location changes every time. To keep us on our toes," she smiled then.

She was trying to be funny.

I couldn't bring myself to laugh. It would have been faked anyway. I figured she would take off as soon as she had gotten the desired information but she lingered as if waiting for me to say something else.

I took the bait, "yes?"

"Well, I was actually wondering..."

I didn't reply and waited instead for her to finish her sentence. She did, clearly determined to get what she had to say out.

"I've seen you working out and you're really good. Do you think you could give me a few pointers?"

"I'm not obligated to give out my training secrets to my competition."

"I figured that we could swap training routines you know so that both of us could benefit?"

I didn't answer this. I figured that she was trying a few angles to keep the discussion alive. I closed my eyes and tried to will her out of existence.

"You might as well give up. I'm not going to give you anything."

I heard a low growl. It was so impressive that I opened my eyes expecting to confront a great beast of sorts, but there in front of me stood Jigglypuff just as before. Her body puffed up and her eyes slanted down into a glare.

"Why can't you just help me?!"

The ferocity of her voice sent me back a few steps

"I mean it's taken me so long to even come over and talk to you. You can at least be friendly."

I turned to her, "stubborn aren't we?" I had my blade out and hanging in my right hand. There was no way I was going to draw it on the girl it was merely a scare tactic to get her to leave me alone. It didn't work. She looked the blade up and down before puffing herself up further.

"You think that's gonna frighten me away? Huh?"

"No I suppose it isn't. You're far too stubborn to just leave."

She nodded her head, "damn straight! So are you going help me or aren't you?"

I considered. She really deserved to be helped she was giving such a fight and I found her fiery spirit intriguing.

I sighed, "okay I will help you."

"Yay!"

"But if I find out that you are sharing these sessions with anyone else I will be forced to end them."

She nodded her head, smiling crazily.

This is how I met Jigglypuff.

In a lot of ways she was very similar to me. And I of course don't mean in the way that we were both vertically challenged in comparison with others, but rather in her manner. Even though she had been in this competition twice before she honestly couldn't say that she had never actually made any real friends.

Our conversations started out rather awkward. Me not really caring but feeling none-the-less like I should say something and her apparently not having thought this far ahead had no more rehearsed responses or ice-breakers. Therefore after I would show her a few tricks and she in return would give me a few pointers, we would proceed to go to opposite ends of the gym and practice the newly learned methods separately. But as time wore on we grew closer and closer until we no longer parted at all during these sessions, we would instead stay near to each other and talk in between sparing. I don't know if I'd call it a friendship, but it was nice and gave me something more interesting to do then just wander aimlessly.

Jigglypuff proved herself to be just as fiery as those first few moments of conversation had suggested. She would try a technique over and over again, relentlessly until she got them all down just right. She was always at the gym before me, practicing anything she might have had trouble with the day before. She would always smile when she saw me, "Meta Knight, I'm kinda having trouble."

Jigglypuff was stubborn this is true, but too proud to ask for help? Not at all.

I would have lost to learn from her, this I knew as a certainty.

Jigglypuff kept me sane those first couple of weeks.

On one such fine day spent practicing fervently with Jigglypuff she mentioned to me.

"Hey, isn't that your roommate?"

I peered were she was pointing her finger just through the windows to our left and out past the gardens to the pool where Lucas, Ness and the young Princess Peach all were swimming and enjoying themselves.

"Where? I'm afraid I don't see him…"

"Behind those bushes…Is he spying on Peach and those other people in the pool? I think he's touching himself!!!"

Sure enough I was able to make out small patches of yellow and goggles catching the sun just behind the large bush.

"Ew, your roommates a peeping tom!!"

"Uhg….I must stop this."

"Wait your not going to fight him are you? You know what the Master Hand said, no fighting outside of the arena blah blah blah!"

"Someone has to teach him a lesson for spying on women."

Jigglypuff grabbed my arm and looked very desperately at me. When she couldn't say what she wanted she just smiled, "your right kick his butt, just don't get yourself kicked out, kay?"

I nodded my head to her before jumping down from the balcony to the pool, my cape landing in a whirlwind after me. I hadn't meant to startle Peach and her companions but they all jumped impressively at the sight of me.

"Jeez Meta Knight what an entrance!" Ness was ecstatic. "I wish I could fly like that!" Lucas nodded at him.

It was Peach who asked the question, "What brings you down here?"

"A saw a rat near the pool."

"Yuck! A rat?!" Peach covered herself as if a rat could leer at her. Well big ones can.

"Do not worry Princess. I will dispose of it quickly and efficiently. You will have never even known it existed."

I think my statement confused them, "so you're gonna kill it?" Lucas looked extremely distraught.

"No never kill Lucas, do not worry. I'm just going to teach it some etiquette."

"Um okay?" I could tell that behind me the company was all looking at each other for answers.

I drew my sword and made my way around the pool careful to keep my eyes on that little patch of yellow to make sure it stayed put. I'm sure he would have noticed me, jumping form the balcony and talking to the trio in the pool, but he had yet to move. He obviously didn't think I was coming after him. Is it possible that he assumed that I hadn't seen him? Did he think me that stupid?

As I rounded the bush I faced the perpetrator, sure enough it was Wario if there had been any doubt in my mind.

"Fight me you cretin!"

He jumped, "oh, Meta Knight you gave me quite a scare you should be careful. Who gave you a sword you are too young to be playing with sharp objects."

If he was trying to be funny or sarcastic it was in poor taste and I was humorless, "prepare yourself for a lesson in manners you will never forget."

He looked strangely at me, "what you mean by all this?"

With my sword I drew a line from him to the poolside where Lucas, Ness and Princess Peach were all exiting the pool.

"Oh, caught I see!" Wario laughed his revolting excuse of a laugh.

Before I could retort or make the first move something blue came flying from the trees. It was on Wario instantly serving back and forth to make and second and then a third run at him. The blur skidded to a stop, grabbing Wario around the neck as it finally halted crashing onto the cement.

I couldn't believe who I saw. That damned cocky hedgehog had both his hands around the pervert's fat jugular. Wario's eyes were bulging from built up pressure.

"Sick bastard," the hedgehog was proving himself to be a rather fearsome rival. Wario was unable to get his fat little arms around Sonic's hands to even begin attempting to pull them off of him which is when he started panicking, loosing air quicker then if he had just remained calm.

But Wario, as much of a surprise as it was to me, was not completely useless. He noticed a chance for escape using not his arms but his legs instead by kicking Sonic directly in the groin.

Now as much pleasure as this sight brought me, Sonic doubling over in pain, that smug crooked grin leaving his face as he fought not to vomit I could not let such a dirty move go unchecked. Before Wario could waddles another inch towards Sonic I intervened.

"That Wario was a cheap move, and only someone with no respect for himself as a fighter or human being would pull such a despicable trick," I could hear Sonic on the pavement next to me choking.

Wario was shaking now in trepidation. Knowing well that he had gone too far he spoke in weak defense of himself, "the hedgehog had no right to attack me! Why, I was just getting some sun by the pool."

I hate liars. Especially terribly unconvincing liars, "this is untrue Wario and you are perfectly aware of what you were really doing here."

"YEAH!"! The hedgehog verbalized this at an unnecessarily high octave. He was staring at Peach!! Speaking of, the Princess had come around to peek at the calamity that was slowly building behind the bushes.

"Oh, Sonic are you okay!!" She rushed to his side.

He looked more then pathetic lying there holding himself tying to keep composure and dignity intact. I have to give the kid some credit, as ill as he seemed he was able to spare a smile and speak in a relatively stable manner, "just fine now. Even better if you'd kiss it…"

"Kiss what?" Peach was genuinely confused.

I turned from the couple in mild disgust at the hedgehog's uncouth manners to draw a sword to Wario, "I better, for your sake, never see you around the poolside again." Someone was at my side, Jigglypuff had joined the brawl.

"Yeah, you sicko!!"

"Please let me explain! The hedgehog is crazy and on drugs, he obviously doesn't know what he is talking about."

Sonic yelled out some expletives run together so expertly that it seemed almost like poetry. Ah, profanity the crutch of the mentally impaired.

"I was not here for the Princess as delicious of a side dish as she maybe."

"Why you cantankerous shit eater," Princess Peach had to physically restrain Sonic from charging Wario. Not to say that she didn't look as if she would have loved to decapitate him herself.

"Don't do anything yet Sonic," Jigglypuff was a woman of a kind heart. "Just let him explain himself."

"Yes, listen to the marshmallow."

I felt a burning anger deep in the pit of my being that surprised me. Jigglypuff had inflated herself and was shaking with tremors of hate. I put my sword in front of Jigglypuff to make sure she wouldn't attack Wario prematurely. Not yet

"Don't you understand that I wasn't here for the Princess? Please let me go."

There was an air of confusion that came over the group. We all looked at each other. Sonic was finally standing with the help of Peach and had a relieved look on his face, I wasn't so easily fooled. Something in Wario's eyes was more then giving away his prerogative.

"You were staring at someone. Confess!!" I thrust my sword into Wario's face. He stared at it before his eyes wandered to Lucas and Ness.

Enough children to make twenty rave parties!

"…KILL HIM!!"

Sonic got at him first even though he had been furthest away, he was quick. Then it was me because I'm quick also, then Jigglypuff. Peach was too confused and Lucas and Ness, too slow. The carnage that ensued was stuff of legend. We tried to keep it quiet and out of sight. So we chased him to the outer limits of the grounds before teaching him a lesson on pedophilia and how those that practice it know only pain.

When we were done the sun was setting as the three of us made our way back to the mansion speaking here and there.

"I'm sorry that he's your roommate Meta Knight. That just seems unfair. You being so cool and him being so icky," I could tell Jigglypuff was trying to find a solution to my predicament. "Hey, Sonic?!"

"Fat chance Sweetie. No way am I trading Mr. Game and Watch, who by the way doesn't talk, for that moron. I'm good off that guy."

"Darn worth a shot."

"Thank you Jigglypuff you are very kind."

She stopped in her tracks, "hey, do you think maybe…" her tone of voice and how hurried her speech had become told me that was she was nervous.

"Go on?"

She spat it out all at once, "do you think that we could be roommates? I mean I live alone and wouldn't mind someone to hangout with."

It was then that I stopped in my tracks, I considered the options. The sad truth was I didn't have to. Anything was better then Wario at this point. This was exactly the opportunity I had been waiting for.

"We'll have to ask the Master Hand and more then likely he will want to know the reason. We'll need witnesses to back up what we tell him." I turned to Sonic who was already giving me a look of less then enthusiasm.

He crossed his arms at us, "why me? Why not Lucas or…Peach." The way he said her name made me uncomfortable, this tongue lingered on it too long to be simply coincidence.

"Because you saw everything, didn't you?" Jigglypuff ask with a hint of distain. Not towards Sonic but what he had had to witness.

"What do you mean?" He obviously had no filter from his brain to his mouth, because if he had thought even briefly about it he would know.

"You saw him…touching himself?" Jigglypuff asked.

Sonic looked at both of us, "so I have to play matchmaker is what you're trying to tell me."

Jigglypuff was giving off a very bothered vibe; her temperature had risen a couple of palpable degrees. It wasn't hard to notice being this close to her, if that's what you call it.

Something in the hedgehog's eyes told me that he wasn't just reluctant but envious as well.

It was then a thought struck me, "Sonic?"

"Hmm?"

"Why were you by the poolside? How did you see Wario?"

"Uh!" I could see him swallowing hard. When his face got red is when I began to get suspicious.

"Yeah, Sonic. We didn't see you by the poolside you must have been hiding somewhere." Jigglypuff was merciless.

"Close enough to see Wario, but not close enough to be seen," I finished her thought giving Sonic a once over.

He was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, keeping his eyes downcast to ensure a lack of eye contact.

"Where you spying on the Princess?" Jigglypuff took a threatening step towards Sonic.

"Drop it guys or I won't help you," if his aggression didn't give away his guilt, his eyes certainly did.

Jigglypuff and I had nothing to say to the second confirmed peeping tom in the house.

"Whatever. Meet me at the house," with that he was gone, flying passed us with such magnificent stealth that the only clue as to where he had gone was in the grass blades at our feet, all of them bent westward forcibly from the pull of his speed.

"Runs fast when he's scared huh?" Jigglypuff smiled a knowing smile as we made our way back to the mansion.

When Jigglypuff and I were finally arrived at the mansion the Master Hand was already waiting for us, Sonic was next to him.

"Master Hand I assume Sonic has told you everything."

"Yes, for the most part Maurice has explained everything."

"Ah, Jesus."

"Maurice?" Jigglypuff was being less then tactful. *snort*

I stopped that conversation topic before it got too out of hand. I asked for his verdict.

"Well, it is absolutely against regulations. I apologize but there is nothing I can do."

All looked bleak for the next year.

It was then that another 'Master Hand' entered the room but this one was much more unsettled, wriggling his fingers in a twitchier manner, "come on brother it will be fun. I want to see how it all pans out. Or see if it even will."

The Master Hand was silent. He finally gave a quiet introduction, "this is my brother Crazy Hand. Crazy Hand this is Meta Knight."

"Pleasure."

"Jigglypuff."

"Nice to met you!"

"and Mau…"

"Sonic!! The name's Sonic."

"It is very nice to meet all of you. Now I'm assuming you two want to be roommates, yes?"

"That's correct," I said.

"And what lovely roommates you two would make. Please brother you must be heartless to even consider denying this potentially beautiful couple a chance to be together."

The Master Hand said nothing.

"Let's add a little spice to the life of this house, what do you say?"

"Whatever you think is best I suppose, brother."

The animosity was painful to behold.

"What then to do with Wario?" Crazy Hand floated over to Sonic.

"Hell no," if looks could kill Crazy Hand would be no more.

"Just joking, don't worry you little charmer," Crazy Hand began to rub Sonics head vigorously with one of his knuckles, a 'knookie' I believe.

"Back off!" Sonic ducked his head swiping at the Crazy Hand with a fist.

"I suppose it would be best to leave that pervert by himself, for now that is. Until I get creative and think of somewhere interesting to put him. How does that sound?"

"Amazing! Thank you so much!" Jigglypuff ran up and tackle hugged Crazy hand.

"When can I move into her room?"

"How about the night after the first fight?"

"But that's a long time form now isn't it? He can't be with that freak that long!!" Jigglypuff said.

"The first fights tomorrow. We just kind of forgot to put up the competitors names. Oh, that reminds me, Maurice you're up tomorrow," Master hand said.

"What? No way!" The look on his face was timeless.

"Ooh, tough luck that," Crazy Hand said.

"I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow, huh?"

"I would say that is a pretty reasonable assumption," I smiled under my mask at Jigglypuff.

"Your eyes turned pink! That's awesome!"

The next day was a god send, well most aspects of it. Sonic was utterly defeated in less then thirty seconds. We weren't allowed to actually attend the fight so we watched it live on the LCD screen in one of the mansions massive living rooms. It was to put it lightly, hilarious. To see hedgehog defeated by someone that was truly more skilled then he was a joy to behold.

"Oh, no!" Princess Peach was the only one remotely concerned for Sonic's welfare, "do you think he's okay?"

"He's just been knocked unconscious," Fox pointed out to the Princess, "do you really think you'd be all that okay?"

"OH!" The Princess took off out the front door before any of us could stop her, had any of us had actually tried.

Later when Pit got back, looking a might shade too pale, we held a congratulatory party.

"Ten points to Pit that means ten shots buddy, so drink up!" Falco and Fox seemed to be living breathing party favors. Making sure that everyone at the party had more then their fair share of alcohol.

"Is everybody in this club getting tipsy?" There was a huge 'whoo' from the crowd mixed in with a few 'boos' clearly from the small group of underage children that had gathered to hopefully sneak a few drinks.

It was then Jigglypuff sat next to me.

"Meta Knight," she was drunk. It was obnoxious how apparent.

"You're drunk."

"Noooo…*hiccup*"

"You're underage."

"*hiccup* noooo…"

"Who gave you a drink?"

She looked up at the ceiling concentrating on the ornate engravings of farmers harvesting grapes and then fermenting them in barrels, a perfect picture for a bar. She honestly seemed to be giving it her best shot, "noooo….," was all she came up with.

"That's no answer for what I'm asking you!" I picked her drooping head up cupping it with both my palms for support, "point them out Jigglypuff who gave you those drinks?"

Instead of answering she pressed her hands more deeply into my hands, "do you like me Meta Knight?"

"What? In what way do you mean?"

"I mean do you think I'm pretty?" She was belligerent, "I k-know *hiccup* I mean I know I'm n-no *hiccup* Peach or anything, b-b-but aren't I pretty a lil' bit?"

"Let's take you back to the room before you embarrass yourself."

"So that's what you think? I embarrass you? *hiccup*"

"NO! I mean you are drunk and you're going to do or say something that you may regret so let's get you to bed how does that sound?"

"Hey buddy," she prodded me in the chest with a finger. "You c-can't just decide that *hiccup* I'm drunk, you can't j-jusssssst deccccide…," abruptly and seemingly without any warning Jigglypuff passed out into my hands.

"Umm…," I was utterly confused as to what I should do next. "Someone…?" Everyone else was partying having a grand time.

-Uhhg…, I did the only thing I could think of. I picked her delicate body up and proceeded to carry her to our room.

Something seemed suspicious about the whole situation. Who would want to get Jigglypuff drunk? What would be their motivation none of the other underage people in the bar had been given drinks. As strange as all this was there was no reason to pursue my suspicions.

We made it back to jigglypuff's room with very little difficulty and thankfully no vomiting.

"Jigglypuff do you have the password?"

"It's three six eight nine!" She yelled in her sleep before dropping into another bought of drunken coma.

I punched in the password and used my foot to nudge open the door.

It was then that the catch, the punch line became all too clear. She had only one bed. She was supposed to request a second but before she could someone was able to get her drunk.

That person, oh and I would find them, would no pain not of this world and fear without rival. I hope that person was having fun tonight, for this would be their last night of levity.

I put Jigglypuff on the bed and as quietly as I could set myself up a place on the floor. When I had settled in for the night and was more then comfortable I heard a small voice above me.

"Meta Knight?"

I was almost afraid to engage her, what could she possibly say inebriated that could be anything but a waste of my time.

"Meta Knight I know you're awake…"

"Damn it. Yes, Jigglypuff?"

"Do you ever think about w-what's going on at h-home?" Her hiccups had subsided but she still had a bit of a persistent and lingering slur.

I was suddenly awake, aware of what I had completely oblivious of until this moment, "it's odd, but no I haven't."

"I'm just thinking about the people we left b-behind. I m-mean will they be o-okay?"

I thought about her remark, "safe from evildoers? That's what you mean isn't it."

"Y-yeah. I mean all the heroes of the world are here…whose to p-prevent the b-bad guys from doing whatever they want to their homelands?"

I gave the question some carefully consideration, fear was pulsing through my veins. How come I hadn't caught this? It was so obvious thinking about it now, this tournament all just being a conspiracy, a huge setup to destroy our homelands while we fought for our dreams in this pretend competition. Where the prizes even real, the points? Was it all making believe? Or was Jigglypuff simply letting her imagination run rampant?

I made the decision not to fan the flames, "you have nothing to worry about. Everything is fine. Who is Mario's main nemesis?"

"Bowser…," she was barely able to finish her sentence, yawning massively before finishing. "Everyone knows that."

"And where is Bowser?"

"Here."

"Yes, Jigglypuff. I think that the Mushroom Kingdom is safe then don't you?"

"Mmm-hmm…," she drifted off to sleep. I could hear a steadily building snore as she drifted into a drug induced sleep, deep and dreamless no doubt.

If she was convinced then I had done my job to at least keep her quiet and calm. I wouldn't mention this idea to anyone else for fear that it would instigate a sizable uproar that would be nearly impossible to control. Causing such chaos would be the very least of my wishes.

I made it my duty to find out more about this possible threat before I made it known to the general public.

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