Notes: New feature! at the start of each chapter I will have the title and a brief description of the following fic!

Dreaming
Nate dreams of what could never be, Eliot has nightmares of what should never have been, and they share a idea of a future they might yet have.

The sun shone so bright, almost too bright, washing out dark places making everything so vivid. Colors were impossibly sharp, the air crisp, the temperature perfect. It had been years since Nate had liked bright days but this was perfect.

"Daddy did you hear? Did dad really race that horse all the way back without a saddle?" Sam asked, pulling Nate's attention down to the little hand holding his own and the boy looking up at him with a smile. Sam turned to look to his other side where Eliot was walking holding his other hand, telling the boy a child friendly version of one of their jobs.

"You boys have fun?" Maggie called from up ahead where she was setting out a picnic lunch, waiting for their return.

Sam ran ahead, hugging his mother and babbling happily about how "dads" were helping him practice for when baseball season started so he could join a team. Eliot started helping serve the food, clearly his own work neatly packaged by Maggie.

Nate stood and watched, afraid to close his eyes or look away. His past, his present, perfectly melded together to form something so perfect he knew that if he blinked it would vanish away. He knew this happy picnic would turn into a cold hospital room and Sam dead in his arms and nothing making sense. This wasn't real. This was a dream.

Sam came over to take his hand, tugging him toward the blanket. "But it's a good dream daddy."

Nate smiled a little and let himself be led, trying to enjoy what he could. "Okay"

He found himself sitting with a bottle of something in his hand, letting the talk move around him. He took a long sip of his beer, content.

"Nate…" Eliot said with an annoyed look a little closer to what Sophie normally gave him. He leaned against Nate, taking a sharp breath and gasping the word out. "Nate!"

Nate's eyes flew open, he was already registering the harsh breathing coming from the man pressed against him in the bed they shared. While Nate had slipped into a dream of what he could only wish for Eliot had fallen into yet another nightmare.

Slowly, carefully, Nate tightened his arms around Eliot and dragged them both into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard of the bed and Eliot leaning against his chest. The younger man was still asleep, caught in a dream that wouldn't let him go until it was finished or danger caused Eliot to come violently awake. Nate knew from a close brush with death the later wasn't to be done lightly.

For the moment there was little Nate could really do besides hold Eliot tight and hope it would be over soon. Eliot lay mostly limp in Nate's arms, head resting back against Nate's shoulder, breath coming in ragged gasps as whichever of the tormentors who had held him in the past returned to continue where they'd left off.

It was nights like tonight Nate saw hints of the Eliot he'd met before a cruel and dangerous world beat the last vestiges of youth out of him. It was a weaker, more vulnerable side of Eliot he'd probably never show anyone who didn't know it existed.

When Eliot experienced these things in real life danger had pressed close and adrenalin and instincts had given him as much protection and control as he needed to survive but he had no safe guard against the memory.

Eliot convulsed, body spasming in response to remembered agony his mind was forcing him to relive. Nate whispered soothingly, wishing there was more he could do than just sit and wait. Eliot was shuddering now, shaking and as close to sobbing as Nate knew Eliot to get then just as suddenly he went still for half a moment.

A long shaky breath escaped Eliot before he spoke, not moving quite yet, the borders between nightmare and reality still undefined. "Nate?"

"Right here." Nate responded, not letting go. "You with me?"

"I think so." Eliot responded. He tensed and forced himself to relax. "Hurts…" The word slipped out on a voice shaking and hurting, an admittance that only Nate would get. "I can still feel it."

Nate traced little circles into the skin beneath his fingers, drawing a different sharp gasp from Eliot. The man would never admit it but Nate had long ago figured out Eliot was ticklish. Eliot twitched away from the offending fingers and though Nate knew it would be awhile before the sensations of his dream left him completely a little distraction would help.

A second later strong hands gripped Nate's fingers, effectively halting the new, less painful, torment, as Eliot looked up at him with a glare mostly lost in the room's darkness.

Nate looked down, smiled, and leaned in to kiss the frown away. Let that sensation replace the others. Eliot responded, turning to half straddle Nate's legs and pin the man against the headboard.

Nate let him have his way, have control over something, glad to see Eliot come away from these dreams more or less himself. There were times when he'd wake up but the dream would hang on and haunt him for hours or even days, darkness and pain clouding Eliot's eyes for even longer.

When they were both out of breath Eliot sank back down onto the bed, surrendering control back to Nate by letting himself be pulled into a embrace. They stared into darkness around them in quiet for a little while, Nate's mind drifting back to his dream.

"I wish you could have known Sam." Nate said quietly, it hurt to think about but it was starting to hurt less, just a little bit, but less. "And that he could of known you. You probably would have been better at teaching him how to hit a baseball. I barely knew myself."

Eliot was quiet, breathing slow and steady and a distant look in his eyes. "I would have liked to." He gave another long breath. "Sometimes I wish…" He shook his head, discarding the thought before he even voiced it.

"What?"

"I'm a hitter, it's not like I'd make the most stable and responsible parent but sometimes…" He shook it off.

"You've thought about having children."

"I'm a con, not a father."

"No one ever said they were mutually exclusive." Nate said, not sure why he was pressing the subject. He hadn't even thought about another child after Sam. He wasn't sure he was ever going to be ready to think about that.

"Well that solves everythin' Lets get to baby makin'." Eliot growled sarcastically, pointing out the obvious issue and sounding annoyed.

Nate rolled his eyes and let the subject drop. It was a dream for other people in other situations.

Still, when he closed his eyes, letting sleep steal over him again he slipped back into dreaming.

He was with Eliot, the day was too bright for the nightmares that clung to the younger man, they were with Maggie and Sam in the park.

A five year old boy with Eliot's blue eyes and dark hair came running over, tagging Sam. The older boy shouted in play annoyance before taking off after his little brother into a spontaneous game of tag their laughter following Nate through dawn and after he'd woken from his dreaming.