Thanks for all the uplifting reviews, guys. I really appreciate it, and I'll try to finish this story as soon as possible...well, I have gotten quite far after the incidents in this chapter but I've sorta run out of steam these days so I only get a few lines written a day :( that, and I stupidly focus my attention on another LK friendship fic I got the idea for a while back *sigh*

But, hope y'all enjoy this! ^_^

"So, today, we're all going into town!" Lenalee announced. With one of her hands on her hip, she suddenly pointed an accusing finger at Kanda with the other, "And you can't refuse, Kanda!"

Kanda scoffed. "Of course I can. I'm not going."

"That's fine, but you shouldn't make Lavi suffer boredom with you just because you're so anti-social." Allen snorted as he wolfed down five bowls of rice in rapid succession.

"Tch. Shut up, bean sprout." Kanda huffed as a vein popped in his forehead. He fed Lavi another spoonful of cereal. The child was looking up at him with undeniable hope. Was he that bored at staying inside all day? Kanda wasn't bothered by it. He sighed. "You want to go?"

"With papa!" Lavi agreed enthusiastically.

"I guess we'll be going then." Kanda looked across the table at Lenalee and the others. They were all staring at him with stunned expressions. "What?"

Allen's jaw had dropped the most. "Y-you agreed so easily! I thought you wouldn't come!"

Kanda glared at the boy. "If you didn't want me to come, why invite me?"

"We wanted Lavi to come, not yo…"

"Of course we want you to come!" Lenalee spoke over Allen, digging the heel of her shoe into his foot hard enough to make his eyes water. She smiled at Kanda. "It's just that, usually, you never agree."

Kanda snorted. "Yeah well…th-the brat tends to make a ruckus every time he doesn't get things his way and it's just…it's bothersome."

The group of former Exorcists all looked at him with stares that plainly said "yeah right". His brow quivered in annoyance. "Whatever." He went back to feeding Lavi his breakfast.

Lenalee hid a smile as she watched them. He really is too concerned about appearing cold and indifferent. She thought. Why can't he just admit that he cares? For Lavi, in any case.

Breakfast came to an end and preparations were made to go to town. Kanda had been asked to meet the rest at the front entrance by eleven. But Lavi was too busy drawing to listen to Kanda telling him to get dressed and the man's ire was rising. He hated repeating himself and he didn't really want to go hang out with the others in town and he was being made to do so because of this little brat but the brat in question wouldn't move his stinking butt!

"Lavi, c'mon," Kanda ordered through gritted teeth.

"But Lavi wanna draw!" the boy said cheerily.

"Lavi." Kanda growled. "Do you want to go or not?"

"Yeah, but Lavi drawing."

"I don't give a damn! I told those fools I'd be there for the time they set and I don't go back on my word so get a fuckin move on, you ingrate!"

Lavi looked back at Kanda's harsh tone, his happy grin slipping off to be replaced by a teary expression. It turned into a scared expression when he saw the look of fury on Kanda's face. "B-but…papa…" he stammered as he sat up properly, fidgeting with the material of his sleeves.

"Get. Moving." Kanda seethed. "You're the one who wanted to go, aren't you?! Don't hold everybody up just cuz you felt the sudden need to draw!"

Almost in tears, the child slipped off the bed and stumbled over to Kanda, rubbing at his eye. "S-sorry, papa…"

I shouldn't spoil him. Don't spoil him. Kanda thought, willing himself to ignore the heartbroken look on Lavi's face. He's too spoilt already. He could feel his anger draining away and he didn't want to let it go…because he didn't want to admit to himself that little Lavi could sway his heart so easily. But he also didn't want to see the child cry…but then again, Lavi had been asking to be told off and Kanda couldn't help it if he was quick to anger.

He got the child dressed in a fresh outfit and helped him into his shoes. These things had really tested his nerves for the first two days; how was he supposed to know how to dress a child? It was like playing with a doll and it had embarrassed him greatly, making him feel that his manly pride had been put at risk. This was woman stuff, right? There's no way men should be doing this! But he'd gotten the hang of it; now, it was just something that had to be done and he was the only one to do it.

Kanda went to don his coat and, as he looked back at his charge, he saw that the child was still upset. He'd not said a word. Kanda sighed. He was starting to feel guilty. But it didn't matter; Lavi had to learn to live with these kinds of things. Kanda couldn't let himself fall prey to that innocent face all the time; it was about time the kid was given a taste of what it was really like spending time with Yu Kanda.

"Move it." He said as he walked over to the door. He held it open for the boy as Lavi shuffled along over the threshold and then shut it behind them. He didn't wait to see if Lavi was sticking close by him before he set off down the corridor at his usual pace. He walked pretty fast. By the time he looked back, just before rounding the corner at the end of the long corridor, Lavi was a dot at the other end of the passageway.

"Come on, Lavi!" he called out in exasperation. "Hurry up!"

But Lavi could only go as fast as his little legs could carry him. Kanda heaved a sigh and slumped against the wall. It wasn't long before the sound of sobs reached his ears. He looked back towards the child and noted that Lavi was rubbing at his eye again.

Guilt crept its way into his heart again but he pushed it away with an iron resolve; Lavi was so weak at this point, he needed some help toughening up so Kanda couldn't just give in and act like a fussy parent every time the boy started to cry. No kid of mine is gonna be a weak cry-baby, he thought with determination as he turned his back and continued walking.

He managed three steps before he stopped dead. K-kid of mine?! Where the fuck did that come from?! He thought with incredulity. He's not my kid; he's my friend! Shit! He was getting too attached. Why did he keep forgetting that this was only temporary? Little Lavi would be gone in little more than a week. He couldn't afford to get attached…because he already had one too many attachments in this place.

As the years had worn on, he'd begun to lose his icy demeanour around some individuals…he'd come to think of them as his friends. He heaved another sigh. Tch! What a place to suddenly remember myself, he thought dryly. This was not the time for introspection. He continued on his way.

But, before long, he began to worry about Lavi so he decided to wait again. He was waiting for a good long while before the kid came into view. He was stumbling along, out of breath, and rivers of tears were running down his cheek, mixing with the mucus from his nose and creating a horrible mess when he wiped his sleeve across his face.

He spotted Kanda and slowed down. The hiccupping sobs which escaped his throat had finally died down by the time he reached Kanda. He didn't look up at the man, instead, he wiped his sleeve across his face again. "Pa…pa…"

"That's disgusting." Kanda said. He pulled out a tissue and tossed it at the boy. "Clean yourself up." And he turned once more and walked off, this time suppressing his stride a little so that the boy could catch up.

"Papa…? Does papa…hate Lavi now…?" the boy mumbled after a while, trying his best not to cry.

Kanda spared him a brief glance, relieved that the horrible mess was gone from his face. "I don't hate you."

"B-but…"

"Just walk, will you? We don't have time for your queries."

"B-but, papa…"

Feeling suddenly aggravated, Kanda rounded on the child and snapped, "I said walk! How many times must I say something before you understand?! Just. Move! Save your fuckin comments for later, when there's somebody around to listen who actually gives a damn about what it is you have to say! Tch!" And then he stomped off, not caring whether the baby was following or not.

He soon arrived at the main entrance. Lenalee and the others were waiting.

"Hey, where's Lavi?" Allen asked.

"He's coming." Kanda replied coldly as he fell against the wall beside the door and folded his arms across his chest.

Allen and the others, sensing Kanda's less than happy mood, decided to back off and talked among themselves as they waited for Lavi to show up. But five minutes passed. Allen was getting worried. "Hey, you didn't say anything to him, did you?" he asked Kanda.

"None of your business." Kanda huffed.

Miranda looked like she wanted to say something but she was too scared of Kanda to do so. Krory looked around the group, looking worried too. But Lenalee was the one who stepped up beside the long-haired man. "Kanda?" she said softly, "What did you say to him?"

"Tch…I just told him to get a move on, that's all, all right?!" Kanda snapped. His bad mood was beginning to sky rocket.

"Yeah, and since you're always so subtle in what you say, Lavi's probably sitting in some corner crying his eyes out." Allen said acidly.

"Shut the fuck up, you bastard."

"Hey, that was uncalled for, stupid Kanda!"

"Just shut up!" Kanda yelled, feeling angrier than he had in a long time. He couldn't stay here, among these people. They were testing his nerves and, sooner or later, he would snap. He scoffed and stomped out the open door and into the late morning air. Behind him, he heard Allen saying "I'm going to look for Lavi", while Lenalee called after Kanda. "Hey, where are you going?! Lavi's going to cry if you just run off like this!"

"Like I give a fuck." he grumbled. "I'm going on ahead."

"Hey, Kanda…!"

Whatever she said next was lost to the winds as he continued on out of hearing range.

Back in the building, Allen soon came across little Lavi. As expected, the boy was huddled against the wall, clutching his knees to his chest and sobbing. "Lavi!" Allen called out as he ran up to the boy. "Hey, are you okay?"

The child looked up briefly but then dropped his head back onto his arms. "Wh-where…where's…papa?" he mumbled through sobs.

It took a huge effort of will for Allen not to erupt with curses as Kanda was mentioned. That guy was an idiot! How could he just leave a child on his own like this?! And he'd shouted at Lavi too! That bastard was so thoughtless sometimes! But Allen had to make sure Lavi calmed down and saying bad things about Kanda wouldn't help. He took in a deep breath and smiled warmly. "Kanda went on ahead. Hey, why don't we catch up to him, huh? It'll be like a race! You an me against Kanda, okay?"

Lavi certainly looked interested. The sobs began to die away and he rubbed at his eye to clear away the tears and then looked up at Allen with a hopeful expression. "O-okay…b-but Lavi be on papa's team."

"All right, but first we have to catch up to him. So, c'mon! Let's go!" Allen held his arms out and Lavi jumped up willingly. Aw, he's so cute! Allen thought. He then began to brood. I wonder what my kids are gonna be like…

But he was soon snapped out of his daze as Lavi tapped his shoulder. "Hey, bean sprout, go faster! We catch papa!"

"I-it's Allen! Don't imitate Kanda! It's not nice to give people nicknames that they don't like!" But the Brit quickened his pace anyway.

"Really? But papa say "bean sprout" and papa nice."

"He's only nice to you."

"Why?"

"Because you're the only one he considers his friend."

"Is that…true?" Lavi mumbled, looking thoughtful. "Papa don't…have other…friends?"

Not wanting to upset the boy, Allen smiled reassuringly. "There are many people who would consider him a friend but he doesn't feel the same way about them."

"That's not true!" Lavi protested. "Papa really like it here! Papa like…the people…"

It was hard for Allen not to scoff at that. "Why would you say that?"

Lavi looked down and shrugged. "Just…a feeling."

Strange kid…Allen mused. He knows a lot more than he lets on...or perhaps he's unable to put his thoughts into words? But he's only three! His development is astonishing!

"We get to papa soon?" Lavi asked.

"Of course!"

"Hurry!"

"All right!"

Back outside, Kanda had slowed down, but continuing on nonetheless. He'd managed to clear his mind, what with being out in the fresh air like this. His anger had toned down and he wanted to go back. What was Lavi doing now? Was he crying, as he always did when Kanda wasn't around? Had the bean sprout found him?

He was annoyed with himself; what're you acting like a freakin parent for?! He chided himself. He needs to learn to take care of himself!

But…this was only temporary. It wasn't as if little Lavi would remain forever. In just a week and some, he would go back to being the usual cheery loudmouth who got on Kanda's nerves. So couldn't Kanda just let up and spoil the kid a little?

No! He rejected the idea with vehemence the moment he came up with it. Because…the real issue here was that Kanda didn't want to get any more attached.

Attachments were such stupid things; how long did a human live that he could calmly go around making any kinds of close relations with people? Life was a very frail thing and one could easily die and the more attachments one had to friends or family, the more one was likely to have regrets at the time of death. And, of course, the people that one was close to would be hurt too.

Kanda didn't want that. He'd spent his entire life avoiding such things…but since that idiot redhead had arrived at the Black Order, he'd slowly started to alter Kanda's perceptions and beliefs. Kanda had no idea how it happened…how he'd let someone get past his carefully constructed defences…but at least Lavi was the only one.

And, Kanda would never tell anyone but, once he had that one person to whom he could confide, so many things had become easier…it had been like a weight had been lifted off his shoulder and he was thankful to Lavi for that.

He stopped walking as these past recollections overtook him and he reached out to lean against the wall he'd been walking alongside. He clapped a hand over his face, feeling weak and almost overwhelmed. I wish you were here, he thought. Tell me what I should do, Lavi. Tell me, what are all the stupid feelings in my heart when I look at that child?

He didn't want to make sense of it. He didn't want to…have regrets.

"Hey! Kanda!"

The distant cry jerked him out of his grim musings and he abruptly stood up straight and looked to the source of the voices. Lenalee, Miranda, and Krory were all walking towards him at a leisurely pace. And well ahead of them, in Allen's arms, waving enthusiastically and yelling at the top of his lungs was…

Kanda turned away, hating the sudden relief that flooded his entire being. Really, what had he expected would happen to the kid that he was feeling so relieved? It wasn't as if there was anybody in the Black Order HQ who would wish harm on him. Kanda gritted his teeth and contemplated going on ahead and ignoring the group…but he didn't.

"Papa! Hey, papa!"

Allen was running ahead of the others, fuelled by the urgency in little Lavi's voice. But before he got anywhere near Kanda, the infant started to squirm around in his arms so Allen let him down. Lavi began to run to Kanda as fast as his legs could carry him. "Papa! Papa!"

Kanda didn't move. He was torn between wanting to escape from all this and taking the child in his arms once more. As a result, he did nothing when the toddler finally crossed the distance and fell against Kanda's leg, wrapping his arms around the limb tightly. "Papa!"

When Kanda neither said nor did anything, Lavi looked up in puzzlement. For a brief second, he got scared as he saw papa's tightly curled fists shaking at his sides. But when he looked up at papa's face, the uncertainty and the fear vanished. The way Kanda was looking down at him wasn't like any expression Lavi had ever seen on the man's face. The mouth was set in a straight line, but those dark eyes were soft…conflicted with an inner struggle…his expression kept shifting between solemnity and a need. But a need for what, Lavi didn't know.

"Papa…?" he mumbled.

The expression immediately cleared as Lavi spoke and Kanda pulled on his poker face. "Walk on your own." he said.

"Y-yes, papa." Lavi let go of the man's leg and began walking. Kanda kept his stride shorter than his usual and measured his pace so Lavi wouldn't get left behind. Lavi felt somewhat gladdened that papa was being so considerate.

"Papa?" he asked a few seconds later, looking thoughtfully down at the ground.

"Hmm…?"

"Papa…mad at Lavi?" he looked up at the man, his green eye sombre.

Kanda gazed back and, for just a second, his blank expression melted to reveal the softness in his eyes from just a while ago. "I'm not mad…at you."

Lavi frowned at the emphasis on the last word. "Then…who…?" But that was when the others caught up so Kanda didn't say a word.

"Hey, you shouldn't just run off like that!" Lenalee admonished.

"Yeah, you had us worried there!" Krory sighed. Miranda was, as always, too scared of the reaction she'd get from the perpetually cold Kanda to say anything so she just nodded in agreement with Krory.

Allen, of course, had a lot to say. "You're such an idiot! He was crying when I found him! Why'd you leave like that?! And Lavi only agreed to come with me because I said I'd take him to you! Even after you shouted at him or whatever, he still wanted to go to you! What's wrong with you?!"

"Save your righteous lectures for someone who cares." Kanda huffed as he continued walking.

"You ingrate! I really don't get you, you know! Doesn't this kid mean anything to you?!"

Kanda's reply was a little too quick and a little too rushed. "Why would he?"

"He's your friend, isn't he?"

"More so yours than mine, right?"

"Hah, as if!" the white-haired boy said crossly as he folded his arms across his chest.

Kanda gave the boy a narrow-eyed sidelong glance. "What, are you jealous or something? How petty."

"Who'd be jealous of you, asshole!"

"Allen!" Lenalee interrupted.

Allen sighed. "Sorry, Lenalee."

She looked disappointed. "Both of you give it a rest. This outing was supposed to be fun so try to control yourselves, okay?" She looked at Allen with a pleading look.

Allen looked away, uneasy at being subjected to such a gaze. "O-of course…Lenalee."

Kanda merely scoffed. "Tch…so troublesome."

Haha, I have no idea what the fuck that was when Kanda was thinking "kid of mine" *facepalm* so laaaaaaaaaaame and OOC! lol, I apologise...it's been a while since I wrote that and it seems so weird and awkward looking back on it :\ but, I hope you enjoyed it anyway! And next chapter's gonna be surprising :D