Chapter 9
Effect.
Disclaimer-I do not own the characters or the songs in this chapter so please don't sue.
~You're the reason I hurt, I cry, I bleed. You will never know because you never cared. Your eyes are never open to the truth, and I hate you for that. With this dagger I will end the pain that will never heal as long as you are here, I won't be. You're my murderer.
Everything is blurry, am I really living life or just letting it pass by? Why can't I remember life before this? Can I ever move on and get my life back? Should I ask someone for help? Would they even help me? Why can't I see the light, will I ever see it again or am I doomed to walk in darkness?
Things were slipping from Bulla and she nor anyone else seemed to notice. Her grades were dropping, her social life was gone, and her attitude carried nothing but hatred. The only thing she could count on was her friends. While according to her parents they didn't talk much they never left her side. Her parents never noticed all the changes or if they did they didn't say anything. Bulla couldn't break from this on her own but she didn't let them help her, everything seemed so frozen.
"Goten, we can't
let this continue she is only getting worse."
"I know Pan, but
what can we do, she won't let us take her somewhere for help and
she refuses to think about pills. Plus, she hasn't done anything to
herself, not that I want her to, far from it actually but maybe she
won't let us help her is because something is upsetting her and
once she gets past it she can get better.
"Goten, I need to tell
you something, Bulla, she wanted us to keep it from you, but maybe
you can save her." She looked down at the ground, ashamed of not
telling anyone sooner. "Bulla cuts herself, on the shoulders so no
one can tell, and when I found out she never went deep enough to
bleed but she still does it."
"Pan you idiot you should have
told me sooner, I can't believe you never told me!"
"Marron
and I thought we could help her before it got this bad, she asked us
not to tell anyone so we tried."
"I can't believe this! I
gotta go!"
"Where are you going?"
"To save her! I'll
call you later!"
Goten ran out the door to Pan's house and ran
towards Bulla's. He had to hurry, who knew what she was doing, he
should never have left her for the night. How could he have been so
blind, every time he touched her shoulders she would flinch. Her eyes
were so lifeless, she even faked her smile. "Wait for me Bulla,
please." He got to her house and noticed the back door was locked.
"Shit!" He tried the front and nothing. "The one time I need to
get in and no one is home." He ran to the side of the house and
checked the basement which was unlocked; he pushed it open and ran
upstairs to the kitchen. He could hear her stereo blasting which
meant she was home. He was going to go to her bedroom but knew the
door would be locked. He went into the cabinet where all the spares
where kept and grabbed them all. He got upstairs and started pounding
on the door while he searched through the keys for one that looked
like it would work. "Bulla let me in! I know you are in there!"
He grabbed a key and slammed it in the lock. With luck the knob
turned and he swung the door open. Bulla was lying on the bed, her
face on her pillow. Goten had a hard time seeing her with only the
light from the stereo and even that was covered. She lifted her head
up and tears were running down her face. He ran in and wrapped his
arms around her, lifting her body off the bed. She was pinned in his
arms, not she had the strength to fight him.
"It hurts, I can't
take this anymore, make this stop."
"I will Bulla I promise,
I'm going to make it go away."
"Goten…I'm sorry"
"Sshh,
I'm sorry, I should have known, you were giving me signs I just
wasn't paying attention." He kept his arms around her as he sat
on the bed.
"Bulla, I'm going to get help for you tomorrow,
okay?"
"No, I…I can't let anyone in my family know, I
won't be able to face them after."
"But Bulla you need help,
you can't do this alone anymore."
"Please…don't…Goten"
She
put her head on his shoulder and fell asleep. He moved his arms and
laid her on the bed. He moved the stereo cover back a little so more
light could enter the room. She looked so pale and ghostly from the
light, he couldn't believe depression could do that to someone. He
would have to do research on it for ways to spot it and ways to help
her.
"Bulla, what could have caused this?"
He sat down on
her bed again and brushed her hair from her face, new tears had
formed under her closed eyes. He kissed them away then moved her
sleeve; he had to know what she was doing. He could see lines going
down her arm, stopping just where the sleeve ended. There were five
or six fresh marks, most going deep enough to draw little droplets of
blood. She also had a few old marks that were starting to fade. He
didn't have to look at the other arm to know it was just as bad.
As the night went on
he started getting ready to sleep. He already knew he wasn't
leaving so he had to make preparations to get comfy. He closed the
door finally and lowered the stereo so no one in the house would hear
it when they got home. He rummaged through her pants draw for
something he could wear because he knew he could sleep in his jeans
but the belt would get in the way and if he took it off his pants
would be by his ankles if he turned over during the night. He finally
came across her tennis sweats that she bought during the season and
threw them on. He moved her over slightly and laid down next to her.
He didn't know how he was going to help her yet but he knew in his
heart that as long as they got through this night everything would
start to go up hill.
"Goten you still here, what time is
it?"
"Its 10:30 and your parents just got back…but even so I
told you I wasn't leaving, you know I will always be right here for
you."
Bulla sat up and moved closer to Goten. She rested her
head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. He held her close
as they both shut their eyes. The stereo was changing songs, both
went to sleep hearing:
This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you spend alone,
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go,
I'm everything you need me to be.
0o0o0oo0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
I'm sorry I never update this story. I really don't know why I don't I like this story and really want it out there. I'm going to try and post more before I start my fall semester in September. I'm aiming for at least two more chapters. Please review and talk to you all soon.
