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Hetalia: Not mine

Find Me

It hurt almost as much as that day. Or rather, that night.

His brother was dead.

China was dead.

And the only one who still had yet to accept it was him.

Japan couldn't take it anymore. Whether it would just make him hurt more or not, he had to see the child. He stood up; running his sleeve over his cheek to make sure the tears had been dried before heading into the other room.

"And sometimes, if you look closely, you can see a shooting star." England had the boy in his lap, sitting by the large window that took up one of the walls of the room.

The expression on the child's face could be easily read as excitement, but he said nothing.

"Is everything alright?" Japan interrupted, giving England a bit of a jump.

"I believe so." Arthur responded with a smile, cuddling the boy who gave a quick laugh in response.

Kiku sat down next to them and smiled. "Hello there." He said simply to the boy.

"Hai~" The child giggled, reaching his hands out for Japan.

"I think he likes you more. " England joked before handing the kid to a surprised Kiku.

"Aru!" The boy squealed as soon as he was in Japan's arms, causing the older Asian to turn bright red.

"O-okay." Kiku sweat dropped. "S-sorry, I've never really handled a child before." He turned his worries to England.

"Don't worry." Arthur said smoothly before ruffling up the kid's hair. "It's not that hard."

Japan blushed. "Do you think he has a family?"

England sighed. "I'll be honest with you, Japan…I don't know."

"Then I take it he will be taking custody here then?" Kiku guessed.

"Er…" The thought had never taken to England. "I suppose he can, but…will you be alright with that? I mean…you've never taken care of a- well…never mind."

Japan let out a soft laugh, "A kid, Arthur-san?"

He nodded shyly.

"Well you are right…I haven't." The Asian admitted clearly. "But I-"

"Niii~" The soft voice of the child broke through their conversation as the kid fiddled with the edge of Kiku's open sleeves.

"You sure like to talk, don't you?" Japan asked him with a smile.

The boy responded with a laugh, causing a smile to fall on England's face as well.

"He only looks about three…" The Britain observed. "Could he maybe be…another country?"

That caught Japan by surprise. "Well…" He said unsurely. "He could be…islands tend to rise and fall rather quickly on this side of the world. So it's always possible."

England nodded. "The only reason I say that is because America…" He paused. "He…er…was about that size when I…um…found him."

"Ah." Japan said shortly, sensing that they need not to continue that topic. "But he sure is cute." His words were answered by the soft giggle of the boy, which was then followed by a yawn.

"It is getting rather late…" Arthur said softly after quickly checking his pocket watch.

"Time for bed, Little One." Kiku said smoothly to the sleepy eyed child before setting him back in the bed. "The moon will sing for you." He blessed the boy with a quick stroke of his lengthy dark hair.

"Er…good night then." England could feel sweat fall from the back of his neck, having no special evening greeting to give the kid like they did in Japan.

The two exited the dark room, leaving the child inside his land of dreams.

"So you really think…" Kiku paused in thought, "…he could be another nation?"

"Nation; no…" His usually hidden side of the pirate was rarely showing, "A new territory up for the claiming; yes."

Japan gave with a questioning look.

"I'm kidding!" England put his hands up in defense, hoping the Asian would take it as a joke, though the only response he got was a soft sigh and a glance away from their conversation from Kiku.

"So…another nation then." Japan's voice sounded almost dead.

Arthur let out a long sigh and set his hands on the table, resting his head on his fists. "I have a feeling this doesn't just go back from today…" That quickly got Kiku's attention. "…you're thinking about China, aren't you?"

"No it's not-I'm really just…I…" Japan looked down at his hands and gritted his teeth. "Y-you can tell…"

"Listen, Japan…" England's voice alone was comfort enough, "…it's alright."

"…what?"

"You and China…you were, as they say, together. Yes, you fought…but you were brothers nonetheless."

Japan couldn't find the words to say, still staring the Britain with wide, now teary, eyes.

"The rest of the Faired powers had a hard time getting over the loss…we all did; a suffering we all shared. But you…out of all of us…were the strongest."

"But I'm not…" Kiku's words were too soft to be heard.

"You were one of the closest to China…you had a relationship with him that the rest of us would never get even a chance to have. Yet, you moved on so quickly, so strongly."

He dedicated a pause to let Japan and himself think over the words.

"I guess what I am trying to say is…it's okay."

"Arthur-san…"

"I can honestly say that I admire you, Japan." He said with a light tongue. "Even I still have trouble just talking about the losses I have had and even the ones I have made myself. Even when I try to think about little Americ-…ah…even now I still have a hard tongue. "

England stopped and reached out to put his hand over Japan's, giving him a small smile. "I just want you to know…don't even think it's too late to talk to us. Deaths like that bring us all a hell of a lot closer, I'll admit that."

Japan stood strong, promising himself he wouldn't weaken…especially in front of England. He could feel a lump grow in his through, keeping him from responding without his voice cracking.

"He said that…he would always be with us." Kiku said shakily. "He said he was immortal…or at least, that's what we all thought."

England nodded, "Well…not everything can last. China was a respectable man, I'll give you that." He sighed, his voice lingering with a deep respect Japan never knew England had for his older brother. "But we all know it's not possible to stay forever…"

Kiku nodded before quickly being interrupted by a long howl; an animal…calling out to the moon's fading rays.

"It's getting late…or early, I should say." The Britain said with a short rise and fall of his chest; a hidden yawn.

"It must be even later where you are coming from." The Asian quickly thought of the time's difference. "You probably have to go…I apologize for keeping you so long, Arthur-san."

"No, no…it's no trouble." England gave a laugh to lighten the mood. "It's always a joy to talk to you, Japan…especially when we can relate to things."

Kiku smiled at England's light reference. "You will be getting home safely, then?"

"Of course." The Britain smiled as he stood up to straighten his jacket. "Though I can't rest assured until I know you are."

"Oh quit playing, Arthur-san~!" Japan laughed as he too stood up to show his friend out the door, glad that the Englishman could tell when he needed a joke.

"I knew it wouldn't work." England peeked out of is his usual character. "I got that line from Alfred."

Kiku gave the Britain a gentle shove out the door. "Good night, Arthur-san."

England gave a small smile before taking his way back west.

"Goodnight, little one."