AN: Alright here is your next chapter! I hope you guys enjoy... though it's more of a filler chapter. Also a big shout out to blackandivorykeys, Abby Coleman, mssammydean, and of course bitemealready! You guys are amazing!
Disclaimer: Stephenie Owns All!
Previously On If No Will Listen:
I ran a shaky hand through my hair as Edward continued, "He wanted to talk to you but you weren't at your dorm and Jenny was so they talked and he switched off his phone so he wouldn't get distracted."
I nodded even though it didn't matter, I was safe now… in Edward's arms where I felt like I was supposed to be. "Edward?"
"Yeah?" he asked looking down at me and I saw for the first time how worried his green eyes were.
"Thank you."
Chapter Ten
Stand In The Rain
She never slows down
She doesn't know why but
she knows that when
She's all alone feels
Like it's all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long
And she fears if she cries
That first tear
The tears will not stop
Raining down
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain
She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself
And the fears whispering
If she stands, she'll fall down
She wants to be found but
The only way out is through
everything she's running from
Wants to give up and lie down
Music by Superchick: Stand In The Rain
"Bella?" I heard a soft voice say as I snuggled farther into my pillow. "Bella c'mon lets go to your bed."
My eyes snapped open, wasn't I in my bed? I looked down at my pillow and realized that instead of my purple pillow case it was blue jeans. I fell asleep in Edward's lap. I shot up and was immediately blushing. "Sorry," I muttered as I opened the bathroom door.
"It's okay I fell asleep too…" he said as he followed me out to my room. "Do you want me to stay?" he asked awkwardly as I lay down on my bed.
"Go ahead Edward I'm not keeping you," I said a bit rudely. He sighed and nodded before leaving and I felt myself give into what was going on.
I sat up and leaned onto my headboard. My wrists were bruising like hell and it hurt to move them even a little and I knew deep down that I expected something like this to happen. I had ignored the possibility and it was stupid of me to do that. When I let my fist first collide with his nose I knew I was in deep shit I just continued though like I didn't realize how stupid I was. Chris was right I shouldn't have done that I should have stood up to him in a less physical and bruising way… but it was the only thing I could do in that moment that felt right.
I ran a hand through my hair as I thought back to that night in the alley, Edward was right I couldn't run away anymore. So I let myself fall into that black night though I knew if I started it I would end up falling into tears that wouldn't be able to stop.
Flashback:
"James is staring at you," a girl to my right said as I took a sip from my water bottle. I was eighteen and I was in a town filled of college kids I wasn't going to risk getting drunk. I looked at the red curly haired girl and she nodded to the man that had been looking at me throughout the night.
"If I was you I'd jump all over that." She said and I snorted at the thought. As if I would jump all over anything like that.
I sighed and shook my head as I looked back over to the girl. "Nah I'm just going to call it a night." She nodded and went off towards the rest of her friends and I went off and emerged into the clean and cool air of the night. I turned to the way towards the alley that I had found on my way to the party and started my way to the dorm I was staying in at the moment.
I ran my hands across the brick wall as I hummed a tune that I wasn't familiar with as the echo of my shoes bounced around. I felt someone's breath on the back of my neck and before I could turn around I was slammed against the wall.
I fell as I clutched my head and stared up at the man who was smiling down at me. "I saw you at the party… you left before I could do anything."
"What?" I asked stupidly as he grabbed my arms and pinned them above my head and then ran one of his hands down my body.
"Shhh… I wouldn't want us to get caught." He said and it was like reality hit me and I started thrashing out at him. His mouth muffled my cries and screams and one of his hands held both of mine and I felt like the whole world was crashing down on me. And just like that I didn't feel it anymore, the pain was gone.
Instead of being in a watery alley with a man with alcohol on his breath on top of me I was in the arms of Edward in our meadow and he was humming me to sleep. I was peaceful and I was safe without a worry in my head. Edward kissed my shoulder and I snuggled deeper into him as I hoped that time would just stand still and I would be with him forever.
"Have you ever wished that we wouldn't have to go back home, that we could just stay here?" I asked quietly- speaking my thoughts.
He squeezed me closer to him, "Every time we come here…"
"Edward," I breathed out and I was soon hit with reality. I wasn't with Edward and I wasn't in our meadow. Instead I was in this same watery alley, but this time there was no man and I was left without a shirt and my pants torn.
It wasn't the pain that James had brought me that made me so devastated when Chris and Blake showed up- it was being completely alone.
End of Flashback
I choked on a sob as I clutched onto myself. I had just sent away the only person that I wished to be with. I was sick and tired of just sitting around and letting this keep happening to me. First Jacob and now James and here I am this mess. You'd think that after all of this I'd be standing up and fighting for myself, yet I'm on my bed in a mess because I can't just stand the hell up for myself instead I have other people do it for me.
I shouldn't have needed to call Chris for help I should have just done what I had done when he didn't show up. I didn't need anyone to help me because I could do it myself if I just tried. I was strong I knew that because I wouldn't be Charlie Swan's kid if I wasn't strong.
I needed to fight for myself if I wasn't going to let anyone else do it instead of sitting in my own puddle of tears.
But if I did try to stand up for myself it would be hard and I didn't think I could make it… I wanted help I just didn't know how to ask anyone for it without thinking that they would say no and just leave like I did with Edward.
I sighed and stood up and walked over to my bathroom mirror as I wiped away my tears. I was confused by my own thoughts. I looked at my reflection and I felt hatred flood through me. I hated myself because I used to think nothing could bring me down and now I was back to that girl that I despised- the girl that my dad had to help one time because her husband was beating her and she didn't know who to turn to. The day after she came to the police she died because her husband found out she went to the cops and he went nuts. My dad came to me that night and told me to start self defense classes because he'd be damned if that ever happened to me. I was about thirteen at the time.
Even with the classes it did. It happened and I needed to stop going back on my word of saying that it wasn't going to affect me anymore I needed to stop and know that this happened and I needed to just get the hell over it. If I wasn't going to let anyone else help me then I was going to do it. With or without people's help I was going to live up to my fears and just let me be me, the old Bella. The Strong Bella, because I'll be damned if I was going to end up like the girl who got killed by her husband because she didn't take a stand for herself.
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day what's lost can be found
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain
AN: Ok guys the next chapter is going to have a little bit of Edward and Bella in it! So if you wanna know what's gonna happen you have to review so you can get a preview that's how it works! lol!