AN: I'm not dead.
xXxXx
She could do nothing right.
It was that simple. Miranda Lotto was hopeless. Everything she touched seemed to somehow blow up in her face. She wanted to help people, had that desire, but it was her talent (or lack thereof) that was all people saw. No one saw her personality.
And recently, nor did she. She had given up the ghost and just turned herself into a machine of attempted helpfulness, and every time she didn't end up helping, that machine would force her to apologetically grovel for others. If she had really shined through, people would see the real her. The kind, sweet, happy woman she used to be before she had given up on herself. Her life was held back by mistakes.
But after this phase, could she have gone back to her old self? Not really. She was not able to. The machine she had made herself into had no off button. Miranda Lotto had had a breakdown. Simple as that. Everyone had seen it coming.
After that meltdown, her life had taken a huge turn into the Black Order. And so that begs the question, would she be a more successful exorcist when she was more "normal" or after she lost it? In fact, many believe that her new need to help people and do it right helped her life in the war.
But is a person's happiness something to surrender for only a single soldier?