Hello and welcome to the second instalment of Breaking Dawn from EPOV. This one was so angsty for him I had to cut a portion out to be able to stomach it. I also changed a little in between, not too much though. Sorry about that but I was about to stab my eyes out over his self-loathing, there's only so much I can take!

This follows pages 86 to 95. The 'morning after' scene. Thanks to katmom, for all her support!

Interested in some light, fluffy reading? Check out one of my other stories: Elevators, Strangers and Surprises. (it will likely be the lemon that Resurrection isn't)

I don't own Twilight or Breaking Dawn.

Resurrection – Part 2

Bella's breathing had evened out, letting me know she was asleep. She was lying across my chest, needing my coolness to be able to sleep in this heat. At least in that respect I'd planned correctly.

My mind wandered back to what had just transpired. I couldn't read Bella's mind, but she appeared to have enjoyed our nuit de noces. As for me it was, quite possibly, the greatest night of my long existence . The sensations she had stirred within me had been pleasurable to the extreme. I hadn't known feelings like that could exist. My desire for her, coupled with the constant desire for her blood had made it an unforgettable experience. It had both thrilled and frightened me, frightened because I was constantly on the edge of losing control. It was nothing short of amazing that Bella was still in one piece. The pillows, on the other hand, had not been as fortunate. I'd narrowly avoided biting Bella, managing, at the last moment, to sink my teeth into the down pillows instead.

I looked down at my wife sleeping beside me, shifting my arm in an attempt to make it more comfortable for her. Bella muttered something unintelligible, burrowing further into my side. For a long while, I simply stared out the window, while stroking her hair absentmindedly. Part of my mind was replaying the night over and over again, going through every minute detail and committing it to memory. Another, smaller part, was dimly wondering how on earth I was going to clean up the downy mess I'd made.

I felt complete, whole, as I never had before. I hugged Bella to me a little more closely, bending down to kiss her temple. She mumbled again, turning and throwing an arm over me. The movement revealed something I had missed, and my eyes widened at the sight.

There, on Bella's pale skin, were the unmistakable beginnings of a deep bruise. I could see the faint outlines on her forearm. Panicked, I gently rolled her onto her back so I could examine her other arm. My unbeating heart dropped when I saw identical outlines marking the soft skin. Holding my breath, I reached my hand out to cover the marks. Sure enough, they matched almost exactly with my fingers.

What have you done? I screamed mentally to myself. Why had I agreed to this? I should've known that in the end all I would do is hurt her.

Looking over her body, I could see that her arms weren't the only places she was bruising. Several places, from her abdomen, to her legs were announcing their abuse. With growing alarm, I looked at her face, peaceful in sleep. Even there, on one cheek, I could see faint discoloration. Instinctively I sat up, pulling away from her, as if by doing so, I could heal the damage I had caused. How could I have done this to her? To Bella who deserved nothing but the best? It made me sick. Perhaps now Bella would really believe it when I said I was a monster. No one but a monster could do this to someone they loved.

I debated over waking her up, but abandoned the idea. There wasn't any point to making her miserable any sooner than need be. And, quite frankly, I could wait to see the horror that would undoubtedly be waiting in her eyes.

Bella was mumbling again, only this time her hand was outstretched, searching my side of the bed. Without me beside her she was overheating. I could see sweat beginning to form on her forehead. For a moment I gazed down at her poor bruised body, hating the fact that I was the one who'd inflicted them on her. I'm so sorry Bella. Trust me when I say we won't be trying this again until you're changed and unbreakable. When the perspiration formed a bead that dripped down her face, I lay back down beside her. The very least I could do was keep her comfortable while she slept.

In mute misery, I lay, keeping my arms loosely around my wife. I was so lost in my own thoughts I barely noticed the sun rising. My attention snapped back to Bella as I felt her stir in my embrace.

Her arms tightened around me, to which I responded by grazing my fingers up and down he spine, in what I thought was a consoling gesture. Maybe she was already feeling the pain. Her stomach gave a growl, which produced a quiet chuckle from her.

"What's funny?" I asked, feeling some hope that perhaps her body wasn't inundated with agony after all.

"You just can't escape being human for long," she commented as her stomach growled again. I stayed silent, not seeing much funny about her last comment. It was because she was human that I had put her in this situation. Why wasn't she yelling at me? What was she waiting for?

I could feel Bella's questioning eyes on me, but I couldn't look at her. I didn't want to see the contempt or disdain that I knew she would be feeling. Instead I kept my eyes fixed on the canopy above the bed. I don't know what I looked like but it caused Bella to give a little gasp.

"Edward," she said tentatively, "what is it? What's wrong?" Was she serious?

"You have to ask?" My voice was unintentionally hard, as a result of the disgust I felt at my actions. When Bella didn't respond, I finally turned to look at her. She looked hurt, but most of all, bewildered. "What are you thinking?" I whispered. I had to know what was causing her to look that way.

"You're upset. I don't understand. Did I...?" She didn't finish her sentence. How could she not understand that her injuries were because of me?

"How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth – don't try to downplay it." I said rather harshly.

"Hurt?" She asked, appearing to be surprised. My Bella, still trying to protect me from the knowledge I'd hurt her as she always tried to do. Before I'd done it emotionally, now it seemed that wasn't enough so I moved onto the physical as well. It won't work Bella, not this time. I deserve whatever contempt you must feel for me.

I watched as Bella went through a quick stretch, moving her head, arms and legs experimentally. Confusion was still clear on her face.

"Why would you jump to that conclusion? I've never been better than I am now." She sounded sincere but under the circumstances, that was impossible. I closed my eyes.

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this." I spat the words out, venting the anger that had been mounting against myself.

"Edward!" Bella's voice was shocked. "Don't ever say that." It dawned on me then, that she had no idea she was even injured. What would her reaction be when she saw her bruises?

"Look at yourself, Bella. Then tell me I'm not a monster." Automatically Bella looked down at herself and she gasped, making me wince. She'd finally seen what I was talking about. Strangely, she took a piece of down in her fingers.

"Why am I covered in feathers?" She asked me, more bewildered than before.

"I bit a pillow. Or two. That's not what I'm talking about," I said, becoming desperate now for her to see.

"You...bit a pillow? Why?"

"Look Bella!" I practically shouted. I took her hand very gently, stretching her arm out. "Look at that."

Finally Bella saw what had been making me frantic. Her expression showed only surprise as she pressed against the bruise, grimacing slightly as she pulled her hand away. Wanting to get the full message across, I placed my hand over the marks, one finger at a time so she could see they matched.

"Oh," she said. I scrutinized her reaction. She seemed to be lost in thought, her brow furrowing. Bella, you must hate this, hate me. And I deserve it.

"I'm...so sorry Bella," I whispered. "I knew better than this. I should not have-" I couldn't finish the sentence, figuring there was no way to even attempt excusing it. "I am more sorry than I can tell you." I brought my arm to cover my face, not wanting to see Bella's reaction.

Silence filled the room, and I could sense Bella's eyes on me. I didn't move, she wouldn't want to see my face anyway, the face of the man who'd hurt her. I felt a touch on my arm, then she grabbed my wrist, trying to bring my arm off my face. Stubbornly, I refused to move.

"Edward. Edward?" When I still didn't respond she sighed. "I'm not sorry Edward. I'm...I can't even tell you. I'm so happy. That doesn't cover it. Don't be angry. Don't. I'm really f-"

"Do not say the word fine. If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine." There was no way she was fine, she was trying to make me feel better, despite her own pain. It wasn't fair to her.

"But I am," she said in a hoarse tone.

"Bella," I groaned. "Don't." I can't take your selflessness.

"No. You don't, Edward." Her voice was rising with anger. Finally, a reasonable response. I lifted my arm to look at her cautiously.

"Don't ruin this," she continued. "I. Am. Happy." Each word was punctuated as if I were a toddler who couldn't understand properly.

"I've already ruined this," I said.

"Cut it out!" She snapped at me. I ground my teeth in frustration, I just wanted the truth from her, not some coverup. "Ugh! Why can't you read my mind already? It's so inconvenient to be a mental mute!"

That was certainly different, how many times had she told me she was glad I couldn't read her? "That's a new one. You love that I can't read your mind."

"Not today."

"Why?" I asked, burning to know the answer. Bella threw her hands up in the air, letting them land against my chest with a loud smack.

"Because all this anger would be completely unnecessary if you could see how I feel right now! Or five minutes ago, anyway. I was perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now – well, I'm sort of pissed, actually."

"You should be angry at me," I said, darkly.

"Well, I am. Does that make you feel better?"

"No. I don't think anything could make me feel better now." Granted I was probably wallowing in self-pity now. I hadn't thought about it that way, or how my attitude might be affecting Bella. Apparently, it made her irritated.

"That! That right there is why I'm angry. You are killing my buzz, Edward. We knew this was going to be tricky. I thought that was assumed. And then – well, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And this is really nothing." She gestured at her arm. "I think for a first time, for not knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice-"

I couldn't process what she was saying. Assumed? Practice? Had she thought, all along, that she would come out looking as if she'd fallen down five flights of stairs? Had she expected even worse?

"Assumed? Did you expect this, Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you thinking it would be worse? Do you consider the experiment a success because you can walk away from it? No broken bones – that equals a victory?" I was so agitated, I realized I was nearly shouting at her. Bella sat quietly, until my breathing calmed down.

"I didn't know what to expect – but I definitely did not expect how...how...just wonderful and perfect it was. I mean, I don't know how it was for you, but it was like that for me." She mumbled the last few words, flushing and unable to look at me.

It occurred to me then, that she might be telling the truth. It also occurred to me that she was thinking I hadn't taken pleasure in the events of last night. I hadn't meant to deflate her happiness, if that was really what she was feeling, it was hard to believe she could be happy after what I'd done to her.

"Is that what you're worried about?" I asked, lifting her chin so she would look at me. "That I didn't enjoy myself?" Bella kept her eyes down.

"I know it's not the same. You're not human. I just was trying to explain that, for a human, well, I can't imagine that life gets any better than that."

I was completely floored. She really would never stop surprising me, it was one of the things I loved about her. I could never predict how she would react. By now, I should know better than to assume anything about her. I began to realize how my attitude would've affected her. My angry, sulky demeanour would definitely have quashed any joy she might've felt when she woke up. But to think that making love to her hadn't been a pinnacle moment in my life...

"It seems that I have more to apologize for. I didn't dream that you would construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn't...well, the best night of my existence. But I don't want to think of it that way, not when you were..."

"Really? The best ever?" She asked, her voice hopeful. I cradled her face between my hands, looking at her with love.

"I spoke to Carlisle after you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me. He had faith in me – faith I didn't deserve." Bella looked like she was about to protest but I silenced her, placing two fingers over her lips.

I related my conversation with my father and brothers to her, how I had tried to prepare myself as much as possible.

"...I don't think they were wrong really. Just that it was different for us. Something more."

"It was more, it was everything." She said earnestly. My face softened as she said those words, finally pulling me out of my self-loathing. I managed to smile at her, though it didn't quite reach my eyes. That we had come out of this, intact physically and, for the most part, emotionally, was something I should've been grateful for.

"So, why exactly did you decide to ruin Esme's pillows?" Bella asked, guilelessly. I had pulled on a pair of pants, but I paused at her question, running a distracted hand through my hair. The motion sent white down fluttering to the floor.

"I don't know if I decided to do anything last night," I muttered, thinking about how, in my heightened sensual state, close I had come to giving in and biting her. "We're just lucky it was the pillows and not you."

Bella's eyes widened then, and I sighed inwardly. This honeymoon was not going to go the way either of us had planned. It would be a long, but necessary period of abstinence for Bella and I on Isle Esme.

A/N: Edward really can be a bit much at times, but so damn charming he's always readily forgiven. *sigh* Next up: Bella (and Edward) discover she's pregnant.