Chapter SIXTEEN

Sami sat by EJ's bed, hands nervously fidgeting as she told him that the twins were okay and they'd eaten all of their dinner but Johnny was fussing a little and wouldn't go to sleep.

"He misses you," said Sami with an anxious smile, "I think he's waiting for his goodnight kiss from his Daddy."

"I miss him too," replied EJ evenly and seeing how wrought she was he placed a calming hand over hers, "I'm going to be kissing both of those babies goodnight again very soon."

"Promise me," said Sami almost angrily, her eyes filling with tears, "You give me your word Elvis DiMera that you are not going to leave me or those babies."

"I'm not going anywhere Samantha," he promised her soberly, "I can't…"

Sami felt a little bit of relief at how certainly he said those words which he kind of destroyed when he finished his sentence.

"… I don't have any pants," he continued on straight faced, "I'd be up on public nuisance charges before I could turn round… and turning round in these delightful hospital issue gowns that would be a definite no no."

He grinned at her then, trying to cajole her out of her nerves with a bit of humour.

"I'm not finding this funny EJ DiMera," she warned him although she couldn't help the corners of her mouth turning up ever so slightly at the impish look on his face.

He really was impossible!

"Don't look so worried darling," he admonished her, "I'm not."

"Well you've just been hit by a car," she said, rolling her eyes at his inexplicably relaxed attitude to this whole situation, "Brain damage hasn't been completely ruled out!"

"You are just so cute when you impute my mental capacities," he teased her.

"Yeah well I'm about to get a whole lot cuter than," she grimaced at him, "I don't know why you're being so upbeat about this whole thing - this is serious EJ!"

"Well darling," said EJ easily, "You seem intent on being serious enough for the both of us. Besides, every situation has an upside - you just have to find it."

"What can you possibly say is an upside to this?" asked Sami in quiet desperation.

"Well lets see," mused EJ with a little smile, "Okay… how about this? Not only do I get to where this rather fetching cap…"

He lifted a hand and pointed towards the disposable surgery cap he was wearing that the nurse had given him when she'd returned with the tape for his wedding ring just after Sami had come back in the room. She'd also given EJ some premeds before the general anaesthesia, so he had quite a nice bit of a buzz going on right about now.

"But, wait for it…" he drew out the moment, pulling back the sheets, "It comes with matching shoes."

Sami looked down at the disposable paper socks that were on his feet and shook her head, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

"Jealous?" he asked her knowingly, arching an eyebrow at her, "Bet you wish it was you having a bullet taken out of your spine right about now eh?"

"EJ!" she groaned at his silliness, "This is serious - what if something goes wrong?"

"Well if something goes wrong," considered EJ, "How about this as an upside - at least I won't be hitting my head on that killer chin up bar of yours ever again."

She knew he was just teasing her to try and make her feel better which was a little ironic given the circumstances but she felt like her heart was going to break. Sami buried her head in her hands and started to sob.

"Hey, hey sweetheart," he said gently, reaching out to touch her arm, "Don't get upset - if it'll make you feel better you can lower the bar to wheel chair height so I can still hit my head any time you like, how's that eh? Just don't cry gorgeous girl."

"EJ," she grimaced around her tears, "How can you be so flippant at a time like this. You could be paralysed, you could die in surgery or get an infection afterwards, anything!"

"Just for the record sweetheart," he said straight faced, "This is not the best pep talk you've ever given me."

"I'm sorry!" she wailed, bitting her bottom lip in anguish, "I don't mean to say all those things! I'm just so scared EJ!"

"Don't you understand, even now Samantha?" he asked her in quiet amazement, "You are never getting rid of me, I love you, I will always love you. Sitting or standing, that will never change."

"EJ," she choked.

"I have been through hell and back to be with you like this," he said with great earnestness, "So if you think, even for one minute, that a tiny piece of metal is going to stop me now then that my darling girl is just crazy talk!"

Sami looked at him, knowing that she had to tell him that she loved him, couldn't have him going into surgery without having heard her say those words out loud to him. She leant over him and he blinked a little groggily up at her, reaching out a hand to touch her face.

"EJ," she said urgently, willing herself to hold back the tears so she could get this right, "I have never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. From the first moment you walked into my life you changed everything for me…"

EJ gave a little smile but pressed a finger to her lips, stilling her next words.

"Tell me when I get out of surgery," he told her.

"But…" protested Sami with a worried frustration.

"It will give me something to look forward to," he told her softly, blinking a couple of slow blinks now, "Plus I'm starting to feel a little… furry here sweetheart… and I don't want to forget or miss anything you say to me. I've waited so long, I can wait a few more hours - I'd wait forever if I had to for you Samantha."

Sami gave a little choked sob, the tears slipping down her face openly now. She could see that he was starting to become increasingly groggy, seeming now to be having trouble focusing on her face.

"I am going to right here when you wake up," she said determinedly, not even bothering with wiping away her tears now.

She carefully took his face in her hands and put her face close to his so he could focus on her properly.

"I'm going to be the first face you see when you open your eyes," she vowed to him, "I promise EJ."

He just smiled at her, his eyelids starting to droop and Sami carefully pressed a kiss to his forehead, making sure not to disturb his stitches. She squeezed her eyes shut and prayed as hard as she could that this wouldn't be the last time that she would be kissing this man.

Three hours later Sami was sitting in the waiting room, it was just past one o'clock in the morning now. Sami knew she should be used to hospitals by now, she'd sat in waiting rooms long enough after all, even been in the beds often enough but she'd always found hospitals at night to be particularly unsettling somehow. There was a quietness to them that made any noise that did happen seem even more confronting as they echoed down the halls. Everyone seemed to whisper, like they were in church or something bad was about to happen and Sami found it unnerving.

"What is this?" asked John.

Sami looked over at where John and her mother were standing, just to her right. Marlena had refused to leave her and even though she was pretty sure John didn't understand why they felt the need to stay - like they could do anything anyway if something went wrong - he'd stayed as well. John was currently looking down at the cup in his hand and then back at Marlena with a perplexed look on his face.

"It's coffee," she informed him.

"No," said John slowly, looking back down at the cup, "It's not. I've had coffee before - that isn't what this is."

"It's hospital coffee John," explained Marlena patiently, "It can take a little getting used to."

"Why would anyone try to get used to this?" asked John blankly.

"There is a coffee shop in the foyer of the hospital," said Marlena calmly, "I was going to go for a walk down there and get something to eat. I can get you a coffee from there if you like, vending machines aren't the best place to get coffee's from."

"And what prevented you from telling me that before I put my money in the machine?" asked John, not unkindly, more like he was interested to know.

"Do you want the coffee or not John?" asked Marlena unfazed.

"Not," said John, "I read somewhere that caffeine consumption can affect your memory - I don't have a lot of leeway in that area nowadays so better not risk it."

Marlena just nodded stoically, finding herself growing less and less thrown off by her husband nowadays.

"Sami sweetheart?" she asked, turning around to her daughter, "Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks Mom," said Sami with a shake of her head, "I think if I tried to eat or drink anything now I'd throw it back up again."

"Alright," smiled Marlena sympathetically, "I'll be right back."

Sami watched her mother leave and checked the clock for the who knows how many time now. They'd said it was a complicated surgery but was three hours good or bad? Did it mean that they were having problems or if they'd finished earlier than this would it mean they couldn't get the bullet our or something had gone horribly wrong?

Sami was dying a slow death by the hands of uncertainty, she almost envied EJ, at least he got to be unconscious through all this! Sami had to suffer through each debilitating second of it. But then she wondered in some ways if she'd deserved it. She had been so stubborn for so long about her feelings for EJ - maybe this was her penance? He hadn't exactly been perfect in his dealings with her in the last two years that was true but he'd been showing her how much he'd changed for a long time now and all she'd done was throw it back in his face.

And all he'd done was come back for the more.

He was the only one, the only one in her life that had never abandoned her. Everyone else had, even her own parents at some time or other, after some crazy stunt she'd pulled. She'd lied to EJ, tricked him, poured gasoline over him and lit a match, slept with another man when they were first married and he'd taken it. He'd also given as good as he got of course but he hadn't left, even when she was screaming at him to go, that she hated him, he'd stayed… because he loved her.

He didn't judge her by her last action or try to change her, he just accepted that this was who she was and didn't balk at it. It hadn't seemed possible that there could be anyone in the world like that for her and maybe that was why she'd taken so long to see it but she saw it now. Sami closed her eyes and prayed that she'd be given the chance to be able to tell him all this soon.

"He'll be fine."

Sami opened her eyes to see John standing there, looking down at her.

"Thanks John," she said with a weak smile, "Do you really think so?"

"I don't know," said John truthfully, "Could go either way."

"John!" exclaimed Sami in annoyance at his brutal honesty, "Then why did you say he was going to fine then if you didn't think it was true?"

"That's what your meant to do isn't it?" asked John in real bewilderment, "Tell people what they want to hear so they'll feel better."

"Yes," bit out Sami through clenched teeth, "But you don't then tell people that you were only saying it to make them feel better!"

"But don't they generally know already that you're only saying it to make them feel better?" John asked in confusion.

"Probably!" said Sami in exasperation, "But it doesn't work like that."

"It doesn't seem to work at all if your reaction is anything to go by," commented John flatly.

"You're actually trying to be comforting right now aren't you?" asked Sami flatly.

"Yes," said John.

"Then please, for the love of God, stop," said Sami very seriously.

John shrugged, not taking any offence.

Footsteps along the hall made them both turn their heads to look to see who it was and Sami gave a surprised gasp.

"Lucas!" she said, standing up and meeting him halfway, "What are you doing here?"

"I just found out," he told her, "I've been ringing your cell all afternoon and no one has been answering at the mansion."

"The twins are with Grandma Caroline," explained Sami distractedly, "I've had my cell phone switched off because we're in the hospital but Rolf should have been there to answer the phone."

"He's out," supplied John.

"Out where?" frowned Sami and then thought better of it, "No, don't answer that, I don't want to know!"

"I finally got onto your Dad and he told me what happened," said Lucas, "I can't believe it."

"I know," said Sami shakily, "It all seems to unreal."

"So, what's happening, what are the doctors saying?" asked Lucas, his face unreadable.

"They thought he was going to be fine initially," said Sami, her voice wavering as a new wave of hopelessness hit her, "But then the bullet in his spine started to move because of all the swelling from his injuries and now they have to remove it otherwise he's going to be paralysed but it's a really risky surgery and he could be paralysed anyway or even die."

Sami took a deep breath than after such a mammoth sentence, finding that it didn't get easier to say no matter how often she repeated it. The words just terrified her.

"The bullet?" said Lucas slowly, frowning.

"Yeah," said John ironically, "There's a gift for you that just keeps on giving."

Lucas looked over at John but the older man just stared impassively back.

"Sami," said Lucas hesitantly, "I don't know what to say."

"Whatever you do don't tell her everything is going to be fine," offered up John helpfully, "It makes her edgy."

"So it doesn't look good then?" asked Lucas, almost to himself.

Sami looked at him properly for the first time, starting to get some of her wits back.

"What are you doing here Lucas?" she asked him with a frown.

"I was worried about you," he shrugged.

"Not about EJ?" asked Sami, her suspicions growing.

"I think you know exactly what it is I think about that bastard," said Lucas unapologetically, "Death is too good for him."

"Whew," said John with an arched eyebrow, "And I got in trouble for telling her it was all going to be fine… this should be interesting."

And he was right.

"How can you stand there and say something like that?" asked Sami, her voice raising in horror at his callousness.

"That man has done nothing but ruin people's lives," said Lucas unrepentantly, "He deserves everything he gets!"

"EJ doesn't deserve this!" Sami protested hotly.

"Why do you care Sami?" Lucas challenged her, "EJ DiMera raped you, made your life a living hell for how long now? You should be out throwing a party not sitting here like some devoted wife! You were forced into divorcing me to marry that monster and now I'm meant to feel sorry that he got what was coming to him, well sorry, no deal!"

"You don't get to say those things about EJ!" Sami defended her husband hotly, "He was there for me when you went to prison! EJ has always been there for me which is a whole lot more than I can say for you!"

John just stood there, looking back and forth between the two of them with great interest, as though he was watching a particularly enthralling game of tennis or something.

"I was in prison because of EJ DiMera!" bit out Lucas.

"You were in prison because you hated EJ more than you loved me or those twins!" she hurled back at him.

"I have always loved you Sami!" he denied angrily.

"Really?" said Sami sarcastically, "You've always loved me? Did you love me when you were chasing after Carrie how many times exactly? Did you love me when you let me sit on death row all that time for something you did? Did you love me when you married Nicole? Tell me Lucas, because I really want to know?!"

"We've had our problems," admitted Lucas grudgingly, "But you should never have doubted my love."

"I've always doubted your love for me!" spat out Sami, all of this emotion she'd never known she'd had just spilling out of her, "You always made me feel like one wrong move and you were out of there. I feel like the whole time we were together I was doing nothing but holding my breath and waiting for you to kick me out again!"

"This isn't you," said Lucas with a bitter shake of his head, "This is EJ talking, he's got you so turned around that you are actually believing all the lies he's telling you! That man is like a cancer that just contaminates everything he comes in contact with…"

"I love him!"

Sami's breathless words hung between them and Lucas looked back at her with wide eyed shock.

"I love him," she repeated, more strongly now.

It was the first time she'd ever said the words aloud, to herself, to anyone. John gave an interested quirk of his eyebrow and promptly looked expectantly at Lucas, clearing anticipating a pretty good reaction from that one.

Again, he wasn't' to be disappointed.

"You love him?" repeated Lucas harshly, "You love that animal EJ DiMera?"

"EJ is Johnny's father…" said Sami, holding her head high.

"Is this what this is?" interrupted Lucas in dazed confusion, "Some kind of misplaced loyalty just because he's Johnny's father?"

"No!" said Sami sharply, "This isn't about Johnny! EJ is the only person in my life that has never left me, no matter what I did!"

"That is because he's obsessed with you," spat out Lucas, "That's not love, it's a sickness!"

"No," said Sami with a proud shake of her head, "EJ loves me, really loves me and I just couldn't see it because no one man has ever loved me unconditionally before."

"So suddenly he's your Knight in shining armour?" sneered Lucas, "Well I guess your Knight needs to learn to look both ways before he crosses the street!"

"How did you know that EJ was crossing the street when it happened?" asked Sami suddenly, looking at Lucas in growing horror.

"You told me," shrugged Lucas.

"No I didn't," Sami shook her head.

"Well your father then," he countered, "I don't know, someone must have."

"Where were you this afternoon?" asked Sami, her voice hardening with distrust, "At around 1 o'clock?"

"Oh what?" he scoffed, "Suddenly you think I'm the one who ran down that son of a bitch?"

"The lady asked you a question," said John, looking at him intently.

"I was having a meeting with my parole officer," said Lucas defiantly, "If you don't believe me you can check. I just got out of jail, I'm not going to be stupid enough to run down that bastard no matter how much I might want to!"

Sami was just looking at him silently, seeming to be looking right into him.

"You did it," she whispered.

"I just told you…" began Lucas.

"You did it," she interrupted him, her voice getting stronger, "Not yourself but you got someone to do your dirty work for you didn't you?"

Lucas just looked back at her and shook his head at her in a kind of disgust at her sudden allegiance to a man she'd claimed to hate for so long.

"You did it," said Sami, her voice very certain now, "You SON OF A BITCH!!"

Sami just launched herself at him in a flurry of flaying limbs, intent on inflicting as much damage on the completely shocked Lucas as she could in a short amount of time.

"Whoa," said John with great interest now, watching the small woman land a few good blows, "This just gets better and better!"

Lucas was so caught off guard by her frantic attack that he took a step backwards and stumbled, Sami going down with him but she didn't relent even then. She was straddling him and screaming quite a few bad words and Lucas could barely hold off the flurried attack, his arms up in front of himself to try and protect his face, the rest of his body having no recourse but to take it. John looked up and gave a regretful sigh as he saw a security guard coming down the corridor towards all the commotion.

Guess show time was over… pity.

John came up behind Sami and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind he just lifted her off the struggling man. Sami fought wildly in his arms, still spitting venom at Lucas but John just kept her feet off the ground and pinned against him until she had no option but to stop. The security guard reached them, a little out of breath and stared at the strange tableau in front of him.

A man was lying on the ground, blood coming out the side of his mouth and some scratches to his face and arms. Another older man currently was holding a vaguely crazed looking blonde woman in front of him, her feet off the ground.

He stared at them, they stared at him.

"Sorry Officer," said the older man calmly, still with the blonde in his arms, "The kids here were just having a disagreement about what channel to leave the TV on."

The security guard looked up at the big screen TV in the waiting room and then back at this bizarre trio.

"We're going with animal planet," John informed him evenly, "My choice."

"Are we done here?" asked the guard sceptically, "Because this is a hospital and we can't have people duking it out in the corridors."

"Oh we're done!" spat out Lucas, getting to his feet and giving Sami a blistering look which she returned just as angrily, "We are absolutely done!"

With that Lucas stomped off down the corridor and the guard looked at the two remaining people.

"Thanks Officer," said John and even smiled in what was meant to be a reassuring fashion, "I've got it from here."

Marlena passed the security guard in the corridor and came across John and Sami in the same position the guard had found them in.

"Was that Lucas I just saw leaving?" she asked them and then looked them both up and down, "And do I really want to know what is going on here?"

"I would," said John and he almost sounded cheerful as he put Sami down at last, "But that's just me."

Two hours later again Sami sat by EJ's bed, holding his hand. The surgery had gone well, they'd gotten the bullet out and the doctor's seemed quite optimistic about EJ's chances of walking again, Sami could have cried with relief. Now all he needed to do was wake up and not manage to get any post op infections like he'd done last time.

Was that too much to ask for now that they'd come this far?

Sami looked down at EJ's hand that she had clenched between her two smaller ones, seeing the wedding ring John had told her he'd refused to take off still taped down.

"You know EJ," she said softly, stroking his hand, "For the longest time I've tried to convince myself that I hated you, that you meant nothing to me."

Sami gave a choked little laugh at her the thought.

"I can be pretty stubborn," she said with a self depreciating grimace, "But I guess you know that already."

She looked at his face as he lay there, eyes closed, long lashes hiding those warm dark brown eyes of his away from her.

"You terrify me," she confessed to him achingly, "You make me feel so much, all the time, it's like I can't catch my breath whenever I'm around you. I didn't know what to do with that, I couldn't believe that someone would ever want me the way you said you wanted me. So I ran and then everything got so messed up between us and I even when I was hating you I missed you so much. I missed that man on the pier that I danced with, who told me I as beautiful and that I was worth so much more than I ever believed."

Sami took a deep breath and blew it out again.

"The truth is EJ you have never been out of my thoughts, not for one minute since we first met," she told him achingly, "Even when I was hating you, you were all I could think about. And now… and now you're in my heart too. I love you EJ, completely and utterly and I want to wake up beside you everyday for the rest of my life. I want to see you across the breakfast table everyday, I want to raise our twins with you."

Sami raised his hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to it.

"I can't live without you EJ please…" she whispered achingly, "…please don't make me live without you. I love you."

"Now," said EJ, eyes still closed and she started at the sound of his voice when she'd thought he'd been sleeping, "Was that so very hard?"

EJ opened his eyes and gave her a cheeky, if somewhat groggy look. Sami gasped in horror, not that she hadn't wanted him to hear the words but put out that he'd been awake all this time and just letting her twist in the wind like that.

"I could kill you sometimes!" she threatened him, halfway caught between a laugh and more tears.

"You had your chance at the cabin," he said smugly, his voice still rough and dry sounding from the surgery.

"Well I guess I'm just going to have to love you instead," said Sami with a happy sob, her voice softening as she realised that she'd been given the most precious of all things… a second chance.