Disclaimer: Nope I still don't own Naruto. ah well -.-;
Man it's been a loooong time since I have put something up.
'thoughts'
"normal speaking"
Well enjoy the story
One sunny day Deidara and Tobi were flying heading towards their base. Deidara was putting on some sunscreen; and Tobi just being Tobi was messing around with their grocery bags.
After flying surprisingly peacefully Tobi after finding what he had been looking in the grocery bags pulls out a soda. As he takes a drink he looks around and notices, much to his dismay, Naruto and his friends had spotted them.
"Deidara" Tobi starts says as he grabs Deidara's attention
"Hmm…?" Deidara replies while smearing the last bit of the cream on.
"We've got company" he says pointing over his shoulder at to fast approaching group.
Deidara frowns, "Arg…. This is so annoying, and at the worst time too" he complains, as he sees the oncoming group. Brushing his hair out of the way of his scope he gets a better view of the group, he checks his bag of clay. 'This should be enough… I hope' he thinks hoping there wouldn't be any difficulties.
"I told you we shouldn't have gone to 'Naraku's Corner'! We should have gone to 'Keade's Market'!" Tobi whines and then adds on in an 'I told you so' tone. "She's closer."
"Ahhh…." sighs Deidara in a very aggravated tone rubbing his temples "I have told you this a million times her prices are way too high Tobi." He then pauses to throw the empty tube of sunscreen off the edge, taking a calming breath he continues "And if I did" he finishes exasperated "then I would have to worry about Kakuzu killing me, for going out of budget!" Deidara goes on for a while as Tobi tunes him out.
Tobi sighs, interrupting Deidara saying "…Well at least we got our groceries" while holding up a bag trying to be optimistic so he wouldn't make Deidara more annoyed than he already was.
"Ya know Tobi you probably shouldn't be drinking that right now" Deidara says to Tobi while seeing him sipping the carbonated drink.
"Eeeep!" Tobi goes a bit shocked "Why not?!"
"We will probably be fighting soon, and you might just have to go." says Deidara in an offhanded manner with a wave of his hand and smirks a bit as he speeds the bird up, not having much faith in Tobi's weak bladder.
"Yeah right Deidara" says Tobi laughs it off with the wave of his hand "I'll be fine ha ha".
~*~ Ten and a half minutes later…. ~*~
After moments of being uncomfortable Tobi starts to get antsy moving side to side, not being able to handle it any longer he nervously says:
"Deidara"
"What" Deidara says feeling a wave of dread come over him fearing that Tobi noticed something else chasing them. Slightly wincing Deidara slowly turns his head around looking to see what was wrong.
Tobi mumbles something too fast for Deidara hear.
"What?" Deidara says as he glares at Tobi.
"Umm… I" Tobi starts wiggling a bit more "I gotta pee" Tobi squeaks out embarrassingly wiggling a bit in his seat doing the pee pee dance.
"Oh that's it" Deidara lets out a sigh of relief that it was nothing serious, letting out a little chuckle.
"I told ya so" He mutters with a smirk then turns around and then continues to concentrate on the main problem at hand.
"…." Tobi wiggles around embarrassingly.
"Well go now, its better if you do it now before they," Deidara pauses to motion towards Naruto and the gang with his thumb "Catch up" He finishes with a smirk
"Eeeee!" goes Tobi spastic with his arm flailing a bit "….. But where we can't just st-"
he gets cut off by Deidara laughing who then says:
"Well Tobi-" he starts with a twisted smile and laugh "since they are now closer, just go over the edge" he pauses not believing he's saying this but adds "and maybe… if you're lucky you hit them or something, hm" finishes Deidara offhandedly and changes their course away from their base.
"Um well, ok here I go" Says Tobi standing up shakily and turns around.
Deidara turns around, a bit surprised, 'he really must have to go' feeling a little bad for giving Tobi the idea, he starts concentrating on where they were going. Tobi starts to move his cloak around a bit and pulls down the zipper….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Naruto and the gang~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Huh, what's he doing" Says Tenten bracing herself for an attack as well the others
"I don't know but what ever it is it will happen soon" Says Shikamaru bracing himself.
Suddenly the giant bird starts jerking side to side then a fast yellow wavy stream of liquid starts shooting out straight towards them.
Neji not sure what it is but knowing it was unavoidable jumps in front of Tenten.
Tenten lands surprised she avoided getting hit with the strange attack, when she looks in front of her, she notices Neji had jumped in front of her. The front of his white shirt was now splattered yellow.
"What! …Neji?" She says utterly confused at her now wet teammate.
"Tenten did you get hit?" Neji says worriedly and jumps next to her continuing on. Tenten suddenly smells Neji. She jumps a little ways from him.
"No, I didn't" she says shaking her head looking around for Naruto and Shikamaru.
Neji repeatedly thinking 'I did this for her, be happy she is fine.' With a grimace on his face.
The other two were found when Naruto starts yelling and cursing, then they hear a gag and loud spitting from Shikamaru.
Naruto lets out an angry yell "DID HE JUST?"
Shikamaru looks at Naruto a bit annoyed, then continues to spit out water and pours more water into his mouth and starts gargling again, with a disgusted and annoyed look on his face.
"Yes" Shikamaru replies as he spits out the water agitatedly as he rubs his temples "It must have been some form of a sick distraction because they are far far away now" wiping the warm liquid off his face and thinks 'If I knew better I bet heard someone laughing' feeling quite disgusted and disgusting, he shakes off the warm liquid from his arm. 'I better not let Temari know…' Shikamaru starts after the duo again.
Naruto and the gang increase their speed after the two Akatsuki members….
Naruto determined, speeds up ahead with every intention of not letting them get away, his eyes start to turn purple and his whisker marks get thicker.
"I am going to kill him" Naruto mutters darkly as he lands on another branch.
Tenten trying to lighten Naruto up says "Naruto it's not like it's that bad" Shikamaru and Neji give her an aggravated look which she misses.
Naruto calms down a bit then notices that she wasn't even wet,
Aggravated Naruto yells at Tenten "You weren't even hit!" Tenten grimaces.
With the oil added to the searing hot flame Naruto getting progressively angrier the Kyuubi's chakra starts leaking out of Naruto.
Shikamaru frowns thinking 'this isn't good'
Back to Deidara and Tobi…
While speeding away Deidara howls with laughter surprised Tobi actually did it.
Tobi looked over the edge of the bird filled with relief, he looks at the kid's, saying the only thing he could say in a daze of what he had done "Wow".
"Wow?!" says Deidara "That's all you can say?" Then he starts laughing.
Tobi just watched his partner laugh not really sure what to feel about what he did. He was not sure if it was right for him to feel amused about peeing on a group of people.
"Ha- what and idiot" mutters Deidara as he looks at Tobi, then he gains complete control over himself as he sees Naruto starting to wear Kyuubi's cloak
" Ah, crap!" Deidara scowls and flattens himself on the bird, and motions for Tobi to do the same, "Naruto's loosing control again." He looks back and winces, thinking about the last time.
"What?!" Tobi says totally scared thinking about what happened to Deidara, and looks back quickly to see what Deidara meant.
"See?" he says pointing at Naruto, "Why are you scared, Tobi?" he taunts.
"No, it's just last time this happened, he got you pretty good" Tobi says.
Deidara makes an annoyed face, then he retorts "Well at least I didn't pee on him," as though he was musing aloud with curiosity "At this rate he'll probably kill you, hm" he says bluntly, with a hint of a smile.
"I know I would" mutters Deidara in after thought while looking out to see how close the others were getting.
Speeding off Deidara wipes the sweat off of his brow and says "Its starting to get hot even up here lets hurry and finish this off, hmp"
"Yeah" Tobi says as he sees Deidara put on his hat.
Deidara then puts his hands in his clay bags and starts molding his clay, moments later Deidara gives Tobi a handful of clay creatures.
"Hey Tobi" Says Deidara as he gives him a handful of his trademark bombs "Make sure to throw these FAR."
"Alrighty, then" Tobi then throws them far out as he can at the group of kids, Deidara speeds up.
"Tobi are they gone now?" confirms Deidara with Tobi.
"Yup!" he says giving a thumbs up; As Tobi puts his hand back down he feels and odd bump on the bird and turns to look at it.
"Ok then, hm" Deidara starts activating the clay bomb, Tobi looks at the odd bump his eye widens, at the sight of the bomb. Getting up he runs for Deidara.
"Katsu!" Tobi pushes Deidara off the clay bird as he jumps off, just in time. The bird exploded! Large chucks of bird fell like meteorites .
"TOBI!" yells out Deidara at Tobi in anger, while falling through the air looking for a tree to land on.
"Sorry…" mumbles Tobi.
"Figures" mumbles Deidara "Nothing ever seems to go alright when he is around, hm" As they are falling he musses about the days when he was with Sasori… 'And I thought I had it bad with him' Deidara sighs 'ah the good old days'.
Naruto and the Gang
"Crap! Here they come!" calls out Tenten as she sees five bombs fall from the bird.
The group braces themselves as they prepare to dodge, but are taken by surprise by how big the explosion is and the group divides in two to avoid the explosion.
The gang luckily dodged the bombs, Naruto and Shikamaru failed to notice the scorched giant bird chunk above them, it squashed them to the ground.
"Sheesh and you would think that things couldn't get worst, what a pain" complains Shikamaru as he sighs. He frowns as he hears Naruto let out a blood chilling growl.
'Garrrer_' Shikamaru looks over at Naruto to see if he's alright, Naruto was shaking with rage and a red wave of chakra came over him.
"This is not good" Shikamaru mutters starting to wiggle away from Naruto.
Naruto in his rage throws the bird chunk off of them and unto Neji. Naruto continues after the duo in his rage.
"Hey are you guys alright?" Tenten asks worried as she rushes over to Shikamaru and helps him up.
"Well I am, I am not so sure about Naruto or Neji though" Shikamaru replies dusting himself off, looking ahead at Naruto destroying trees as he goes off. Vaguely he can make out a tail coming from the enraged kid.
"Shoot!" curses Shikamaru 'this must be the demon cloak I was warned about.' He then looks at the bird chunk that had landed on Neji, "We should probably get that bird off of him."
Naruto roars in his anger while destroying a tree.
Deidara and Tobi
It didn't take too long for Naruto to catch up to Deidara and Tobi. Deidara and Tobi were now quickly picking up the fallen groceries, Deidara hearing Naruto's roar ignores the last lemon on the ground and starts off again.
"Well it seems he has caught up to us now" says Tobi following after Deidara.
"Oh really I had no idea" replies Deidara sarcastically as he sees Naruto close in on them with the other three close behind.
"YOU!" Naruto yells out in an evil scary voice and goes right for Tobi. Tobi dodges the first blow he throws the groceries to Deidara as he took a punch from Naruto
"Take the groceries and go, he only wants me! I don't want to live off of food storage again!"
Deidara raises his eyebrow while catching the bags 'wasn't that a bit dramatic?'
as he sees Tobi get sent to the ground. He first looks over at the poor guy for a moment to see if he could help him out. He would have helped him, but he had no idea of how to help Tobi without getting badly injured himself. Deidara looks over at Neji, Shikamaru and Tenten he had his own fish to fry.
"Eeek!" screams Tobi terrified, getting up and running away from Naruto.
'Hmp, just like last time it seems but this time I have my arms' Deidara smirks at Shikamaru, Tenten and Neji. He didn't hear Tobi's manly scream, and vaguely wondered how Tobi was doing.
Tenten starts the battle with a swarm of kunai. Deidara dodges the Kunai and catches one as it passes by. He throws it at Shikamaru. The kunai barely grazes him. Neji runs up to land an attack. That under normal circumstances would have hit Deidara, but Neji had been peed on. Deidara refused to be touch by Tobi's pee. He almost does a split to dodge, due to the weight of the groceries.
"Woo, defiantly not supposed to bend that way" says Deidara with a scrunched up face, as he uses an earth justu to hit Neji's side that sends him flying.
Deidara jumps away. He sticks his hand into his pouch for some clay and he finds much to his regret that there is only enough clay for a bird. Deidara sighs put off that he won't be able to create his works of art; grabs a kunai instead from one of Tenten's previous attacks on a tree and goes to attack. His plan was ruined when Tobi came crashing into Deidara, squishing him onto the tree.
"Ehhh…." Wheezes Deidara pressed up against the tree
"Deidara-san…" Tobi whines in pain as a can is embedded into his back
"Move…" he grumbles in response, pushing himself away from the tree.
Shikamaru deciding this was the best time to act sends his shadow right at the two. The two quickly split up when they see his attack. Shikamaru anticipating this splits the shadow after the two. Just as Shikamaru is about to catch them; but Naruto dives at Tobi who gets away just in time but to no avail Naruto still gives him a sucker punch sending him flying, Deidara winces as he sees Tobi get hit
"Gotcha!" goes Shikamaru catching Deidara with his shadow
"Shoot!" curses Deidara angry with his carelessness.
"A lemon?" questions Tenten as she sees a lemon roll out from Deidara's plastic grocery bag that he had dropped.
"Yeah, what else would it be, an orange?hm" Deidara replies sarcastically
"Neji, bind him with this" Shikamaru says and hands Neji a cord. Deidara's eyes widen. He starts struggling not wanting to be touched by him, Neji just about touches him.
Deidara's eyes widen in horror as he looks at Neji's yellow and white shirt.
"AAAAHHH!" yells out Deidara in concentration gathering up his chakra. A drop of urine from Neji's shirt hits the ground near his toes.
'Gasp' Shikamaru struggles to keep control, his justu was weakening too much
Deidara sees Neji's hand inch closer towards him, he sees a drop forming on Neji's arm. Shikamaru struggles falling to his knees.
"YAH!" yells out Deidara as he breaks free, narrowly misses the drop.
'Man he's strong,' Shikamaru thinks as he catches his breath.
Deidara grabs the bag of groceries, as he grabs the lemon from Tenten who dashes right at him. They are inches apart, doing the only thing he could do Deidara squeezes the lemon. It squirts them both in the eye.
"AHHH" screams Tenten in pain
Deidara dashes off blindly while rubbing his eye as Neji runs to Tenten's aid, removing the scope from his left eye and rubbing his right eye letting a few tears of pain.
'Darn' that wasn't supposed to happen Deidara curses at him self, rubbing his eye again.
Still cursing the lemon, he stops and looks around. 'Where was Tobi?' He sees a trail of destroyed trees. Dashing off he follows Naruto's trail and Tobi's wail. Grabbing his clay he follows the trail.
Naruto pinned Tobi onto the ground. Naruto's hand was raised to give him a deadly blow. Deidara sees the scene. He ties the tops of the bag together and tosses it high into the air, hitting a branch. causing part of the exploded bird to fall in front of him. Deidara grabbed the clay bit and starts molding it. He dashes at Naruto who turns away from Tobi to see his new threat. Deidara throws his attack at Naruto. Natuto flies back. Deidara grabs his wounded partner.
"Deidara" Says Tobi in happiness at being rescued.
Deidara throws a clay bird at Naruto. Naruto breaks through and dashes after the pair. Deidara grabs Tobi and the groceries. He barely dodges Naruto's tail. Deidara jumps up to their getaway and flies off to safety in the sky. Naruto jumps after them, Deidara hits Naruto with a chakra kick on his stomach. Naruto falls to ground.
The charkra had burned Deidara's toes and destroyed his sandal.
"Well that sure was interesting" says Deidara to Tobi looking at the damage that had happened to Tobi which was surprisingly not much.
"Yeah." The beat up partner replies.
"Ow" mumbles Deidara as he starts to heal his toes.
Akatsuki lair
Looking disdainfully at the eggs that were broken, Deidara shuts the refrigerator door and sighs 'I hope Kakuzu doesn't kill me…' as he throws away the broken eggs, and sinks down into the old couch. He winces as he sits down and then smiles. He pulls out of his pocket a green frog wallet he had taken from the demon container.
"Hmm," Deidara pauses with a smile while opening strange wallet "I wonder what's inside" he mutters curious.
"Well I never thought the 'Prestigious Prodigy Terrorist' would resort to being a thief." says Itachi with a smirk
Deidara quickly turns around, surprised "Well how do you know it's not mine" he says defensively holding it close
"Because I don't think you would have a frog wallet, and it also says 'Back off pervy sage this wallet belongs to Naruto Uzamaki'."
Deidara glowers when seeing Itachi moving closer to him.
"Itachi what do you want?" says Deidara in a dark tone glaring at Itachi, holding the wallet closer to himself.
"Oh I was just wondering what you got in there" he says looking over Deidara's shoulder.
"Whatever" Deidara grumbles and looks inside the wallet and takes out a slip of paper as Itachi starts to leave but stops as he hears a gasp.
Angels sang as Deidara pulled out none other than an Ichiraku's Ramen Coupon.
Deidara stares in awe "I can get 3 large bowls of ramen for the price of one!" he mutters in awe (you could see the stars in his eyes).
"I will go with you" says Itachi in a final tone and goes to leave.
"Aw, crap now I have to sneak out too without being caught by him!" Deidara grumbles and pauses to think, "Now when should I go this expires in two days…"
"The day after tomorrow will be will be good, I'll be back from my and Kisame's mission by then" says Itachi.
"Hey! Come on Itachi!" yells Kisame ready to go at the front of the base.
Itachi goes to join Kisame but in after thought says to Deidara
"Trying to sneak out without me would not be a wise choice" says Itachi in a stern tone of voice by the door.
"Darn it!" grumbles Deidara as he glares at Itachi as he leaves.
Itachi mouths 'Remember' with a sharp look in his eyes as he leaves.
Deidara glowers in response.
"Huh Deidara, what's wrong" Says Tobi confused walking in passing Itachi.
"It's Nothing Tobi." Deidara sighs and walks off, putting the coupon back in the wallet and the wallet back in his pocket.
"Deidara do you know where the Aloe Vera stuff is?" calls out Tobi wincing as he rubs at his eye.
Back to Naruto
"Ah I know what will make me feel better" Says Naruto while practically prancing over to Ichiraku's Ramen shop " I can get three free bowls of ramen" he says with excitement pulling out his wallet only to realize it was not there.
"WHAT THE HECK!!" Yells Naruto in rage and then in his agony in very manly way he screams in agony falling to the ground, successfully scaring the crap out of everyone around himself.
-------
TBC?
Please tell me what you think.
p.s. be nice... n.n^