A/N: This chapter is dedicated for bdlywrttn. I thought it would be fun if her fursona and my fursona got into a fight and then see how the outcome would turn out. If it offends in any way I am sorry. Hope you all like.
The cubs had awakened from their nap only an hour after Kijani had left. Each one of them had hoped that Kijani would be there when they awoke so they could hear a story for the rest of the day. Jelani in particular wanted to hear something involving humans and while he ran around searching for his uncle he soon realized that he was not in the cave. Only his mother Azmera was in the cave, making sure they were not too scared waking up and seeing no one there.
"What are you doing?" asked Azmera.
"Oh just wondering where Kijani is," said Jelani truthfully.
"I'm afraid he went to see Hawla of the Misty Pride, he will not return until well after dark," said Azmera in a soft voice.
"Oh great so what are we going to do now?" asked Kali with a whine.
"Well the sun is out, the rains have stopped for a while, I would suggest you all go out and play, you may not get that chance again for a while," said Azmera.
Jelani stared at the triplets who all shrugged their shoulders, playing would be nice for a while, as long as they didn't think about stories they wanted to hear. So without another thought, Jelani lead the way out of the den to the bottom of Pride Rock, the triplets following behind.
But of course, as most lion cubs are, their minds tend to change a lot and after playing hide and seek for an hour, all four got bored and lay down in a shady spot wondering what to do next.
"Why don't we go to the water hole and learn how to catch the fish that swim there," said Zuri.
"But the crocodiles tend to try and catch us," said Asha.
Zuri slapped the back of her head, forgetting that tiny detail; those crocs really knew how to sneak up on them when they weren't looking.
"We could play King of the rock," said Jelani.
The triplets shook their heads. "That game is boring, you always push us around," said Kali.
"Yeah and last time you pounced on me and hurt my paw," said Zuri.
"Well I didn't mean to, maybe I could pretend to be Grandpa Simba and one of you can be Scar, and we could pretend that we are fighting to win back the Pride Lands," said Jelani as he moved around in a comical fashion, his claws unsheathed and baring his teeth.
"But you always want to be Simba, one of us should be Simba this time," said Asha.
Jelani was about to respond when he heard some commotion in the nearby bushes. The triplets stopped what they were doing as well and listened carefully to the sounds. It sounded like a bird was arguing with something. They all listened waiting to hear if there was some juicy gossip.
"I say you should have sung at a higher pitch," said the voice. That was when they all figured out who it was, Conga. But it was not just Conga, Mahiri her best friend and Kairu her mate were also there talking about the music they had produced earlier.
Jelani gave a sly smile to the girls who all knew what he was thinking. Quietly he began to stalk the majordomo until he was less than three feet away. He waited for just the right moment, and pounced.
A resounding squawk quickly filled the air.
The triplets all squealed with delight and ran over to find Jelani standing on top of Conga while her friends Mahiri and Kairu stood a few feet away, both trying to keep themselves from having a heart attack.
"I gotcha," said Jelani with a smirk.
"I can see that, now please get off me, I think you broke something," said Conga.
Jelani quickly jumped up while Conga felt around to make sure all her bones were in tact. Mahiri and Kairu both shook themselves of shock and stared at the cubs with anger in their eyes.
"Sorry Conga, we were just bored," said Jelani.
"But did you have to scare us like that, my goodness I think my feathers are whiter than they should be," said Kairu.
"But that's the whole point of pouncing, you have to be surprised while we attack," said Asha.
"Yeah then the game would be no fun," said Zuri.
Conga quickly snapped her back into place and then turned to the cubs who really did have the look of boredom on their face.
"I see Kijani left you four alone," she said.
"Yeah he ran off to see an old friend in the Misty Lands and we all wanted to hear a story for the rest of the day," said Zuri.
"We tried to play but it's just too boring right now," said Kali with a bored look on her face.
Conga stared at the four cubs, it was a thoughtful look but one that seemed to make her look that she was sizing them all up to eat them or something similar.
"How would you feel if I told you a story?" asked Conga.
The cubs looked at each other curiously for a moment wondering if they would agree with the idea or not.
"Well if you promise not to use rocks and tell really dumb stories like Grampa Simba then we will listen and compare you to Kijani," said Jelani.
"Oh boy don't you love critics," said Mahiri with a sarcastic smile.
"Compare me eh, well I bet I can give you a nice story for you all to enjoy, that can be just as interesting as Kijani's maybe even more," said Conga.
"Is it about birds with laser beams in their eyes?" asked Asha as she pointed to her eyes and went cross eyed.
"Ah no," said Conga a little confused by the question.
"Is it about birds finding a strange treasure and they become the kings and queens of birds?" asked Kali.
"Nope," said Conga.
"Is it about why Ostriches put their head in the sand?" asked Zuri.
"Nope," said Conga enjoying this silly question and answer game immensely.
"Is it about that time you went out to find that hawk and went on that crazy adventure with Mahiri and some other bird who I forgot the name of, because Mahiri already told us that story and truthfully after hearing that story we all agreed that you are actually quite mental," said Jelani.
Conga was about to respond until she realized what Jelani had just said, she then turned to Mahiri and glared at him while at the same time, Kairu was laughing hysterically.
"Hey I gave them the honest to goodness truth of that story, I did not add anything crazy," he said as he held his wings between his face.
Conga gave a big sigh and then turned to the cubs. "No I won't tell that story, but I will tell you a very silly story that happened to me back in my younger years before Kijani was born and I think Simba was still king, or Kiara was just about to become Queen, I can't remember its been too long. Would you like to hear something like that?"
The cubs all nodded, at least it was something.
"Then close your eyes and imagine this place being ruled by Simba, he was much younger then and so was I.
It was just a few weeks after the first rainy season and I had been sent on an errand to visit the nearby meerkat colony that Timon usually hung around in. Now I know you guys have been told about Timon, he was a very self centered meerkat at times, but still had one of those sweet caring sides that made you want to give him a big hug. So it was no wonder that at the time he had a little friend following him around.
Now this errand I had to run was not of particular importance, it was just to ask Timon's mother for her special Grasshopper cakes which Simba enjoyed immensely for some strange reason. She was getting on in years at the time so she had totally forgotten about making it. I did not mind any way I had no where else to go and it was nice to watch all the meerkats run around doing their chores. Except for Timon who was helping his mother make the cake since for some strange reason she had started confusing acacia leaves with poison oak.
So I sat outside waiting and before I thought about seeing if the two needed help, who should stop by but Myla, Timon's girlfriend or wife I really cannot remember any more this is really terrible, still I remember what happened so that is good.
Now since she was Timon's mate of some kind she had begun to show the signs of being around Timon too much, sleeping, acting like him and having a small pot belly. And for some strange reason, she did not like me very much.
"What are you doing here?" she asked me as she approached.
"Oh just waiting for Ma to finish baking that delicious grasshopper cake she makes," I said with a smile hoping it would rub off on her.
"Oh well you're blocking the entrance, I need to go ask him something," she said as she shoved me out of the way and into the dust. I landed face first in the sand and got quite a beakful of it in the process.
Now I was much younger than her so I was surprised by her attitude with someone as young as I was. I of course decided to let that be known.
"Child abuse! Child abuse!" I said as I pointed at her while still sitting on the ground.
Myla turned back at me and glared, I only grinned hoping to see if she would say sorry. But it was completely opposite; she walked back toward me and glared at me right in the eye.
"Well I see you finally admit that you are an immature little brat, just because you are the Kings majordomo doesn't mean you can do what you want, we animals like our privacy and we don't like it when others are snooping their noses into our business," she said getting as close to my face as she could which I found to be more rude than her pushing me out of the way.
"Hey I'm not like my father, I try not to snoop too much and the other animals in the valley usually tell me what's going on first," said as truthfully as possible.
"Uh huh yeah whatever," said Myla as she turned around and walked away.
Yup Timon sure rubbed off on her, I really did not like this attitude one bit and I knew there was something else that she did not like about me that made her be this way, so I decided to fight fire with fire. I had nothing better to do, I hadn't been in a big fight in at least a year, I think it was that long, I forget now. But you know how it is when you're young and full of spark, you just want to fight.
"Well I think you're a lazy, inconsiderate jerk who needs to lay off on the stink beetles, I can smell them from here," I said.
Myla stopped what she was doing and turned around and glared even bigger than the last time. Her eyes were wide and I think I saw some steam coming out of her ears.
"You just don't know how to quite do ya?" she asked as she got closer.
"Nope, I just find it amazing how much of a bully you are to ones who are much younger than you, I mean you didn't even apologize for pushing me and it……hurt my……feelings," is said as I acted like I was crying.
"Oh grow up ya sissy, I heard you couldn't even finish off what you went to destroy; now that's just sad. Did he push you down and call you names and you ended up crying for your grandpa to help save you, boo hoo," said Myla.
"Well at least I am accepted by everyone around me, not like you who didn't even fit in when you lived in your birth colony," I said. That seemed to have silenced her.
"Yeah well at least I have a boyfriend who loves me, you only have your daddy, and your nothing but daddy's little girl," said Myla.
"Ah but what about your parent's hmmmm? I bet it feels pretty darn lonely without them sometimes," I said.
"I can take care of myself," said Myla acting all tough as if it was no big deal but I knew she was hiding something.
"Oh I bet you miss them, and I bet they are all like 'its good that Myla is gone now we can focus on our lovely daughter Leela, look at her beautiful fur, Myla never had anything like that, and look at her beautiful eyes, Myla's were so boring and brown, these are blue and sparkly. And Leela hear smells so nice, Myla smelled like a dung beetle, oh yeah I'm so glad she is gone," I said doing the best impressions I could ever do. It seemed to work too because there were tears starting to well up in her eyes.
"Oh yeah well I bet your mother before she died said 'oh its all Conga's fault, she did this to me and now I am nothing but horrible hawk fodder and I probably taste like crap. Oh why did Conga do this to me, why must I be in so much pain why can't I just die instead of having this ugly chick stand over me and cry like that, it was her fault and not mine. Owwie, I think I'm dead," said Myla who was actually doing quite a good impression of a dying animal, believe me it was good.
Of course because it was so good my eyes were starting to well up and we were both looking at us very angrily like we wanted to kill each other.
"Loser!" I said.
"Daddy's girl," she said.
Looo sah her!" I said slowly to make sure she got it.
"Anal dwelling butt monkey," she said.
Remember kids don't repeat these words, they are not nice and I will probably get into trouble if you guys repeat these.
"You do the cha cha like a sissy girl," I said.
"Well at least I'm slender enough to do it you flying pig," she said.
"Your mother was a hamster and your father was bald and fat," I said.
"Your mother's cookies sucked," said Myla.
"Your face is good enough for radio," I said.
Myla raised her eyebrows at first at a loss for words. "...I don't even know what a radio is so there," said Myla in a very loud voice that actually made everyone stop what they were doing and stare.
"Wow the last time I saw a mouth that big it had a fish hook in it," I said.
This finally got on Myla's last nerve and before I could even blink she was on me as we both began to get into a small fist fight that wasn't too bad but it was enough to leave a few bruises. It was also enough for a hawk looking for a yummy meerkat to fly down and investigate what were doing. It watched us for a moment before he finally cleared his throat loud enough for us to look over at him and stop what we were doing but not before Myla gave me a quick punch in the face while I wasn't paying attention.
"Is this a death match?" asked the hawk.
"No it's just to prove which one of us is better," said Myla.
"Yeah so I don't think you'll be eating us anytime soon," I said while touching a tender area near my beak.
"And what are you two better at?" asked the hawk.
"Being nice," I said.
"Uh huh, so it's not a death battle?" asked the hawk.
"Nope sorry," Myla said.
"Though I hear she is really good with a salad and if you cook her rump long enough it will be so tender you will be chewing for days," I said in his ear of course Myla heard this.
"Oh yeah well I heard her wings go great with honey ants," said Myla.
"Oh yeah well your thigh is so full of fat you come with your own gravy," I said.
"I hear your brain is extra jelly like," said Myla.
"Oh I heard yours was because of how stupid you are," I said.
"Oh yeah well I think this hawk should eat you since you are ever so smart," said Myla.
By now we were pointing at each other and telling the hawk which one he should eat and why. The poor hawk though just wanted to find a descent meal that didn't talk and called each other names like we did.
"Uh you know I think I will just pass on a meal today, and maybe go find myself a mongoose," he said.
"Oh you wouldn't want one of those, they are tough and gamey, I hear meerkat is easier to swallow," I said.
"But I saw her eat a hundred ants in one sitting so I really think you should eat her, besides its not my season right now, tis the season for hornbill," said Myla.
"Deck the pride lands with meerkat tendons, fa la la la lalalalalala," I sang.
"See this birdies tasty drumstick fa la la la lalalalalala," sang Myla as she showed the hawk one of my legs.
"Now look at this lovely hunk of shoulder, fa la la la lalalalalalalalaala!" I said as I pinched Myla in the shoulder before she swatted me with her paw somehow knowing I was going to do the sleeper hold on her.
"I hear that feathers are easier to digest, fa la la la lalalalalalalalaala!" sang Myla as she pulled a feather off my back.
"I just realized I'm not that hungry," said the hawk and quickly flew away before any more crazy schemes occurred.
Of course Myla and I were still going at it, but just when we were about to beat each other up again, Ma came up from her cooking and presented me with the grasshopper cakes.
"Now tell Simba not to eat them all in one sitting, he might get sick," said Ma.
"Thank you Ma, I will see you later, just keep this mutilated meerkat out of my sight when I do," I said.
"Yeah make sure you tell me she's coming so she won't land on me," said Myla.
"Are you calling me fat?" I asked as I stared her in the eye.
"Yeah you're a big flying pig," she said.
"Takes one to know one," I said before deciding it was best to fly away because that argument could last forever.
As I was flying off though, Myla was still singing a song to me that went like this.
"Flying pig!
Flying Pig!
Does whatever a flying pig does!
Can she land without a sound?
No she can't she's really fat
Lookouuuuuttt there goes the flying pig!"
Hopefully the next time I saw her I would sit on her for saying that remark, for now Simba wanted his grasshopper cakes and that was what I was going to do. I thought that maybe next time I would win that argument. But all the next times she kept winning even until she died of old age, I know she is up there with Timon making fun of me as often as possible and when I finally get up there, I hope to give her the biggest insult imagined. So big in fact that I still have no idea what that is.
Conga finished her crazy story and stared at the cubs. They were all staring back looking extremely weirded out.
"So was I as good as Kijani?" asked Conga.
"Jelani is right, you are mental," said Zuri.
And without another word, the cubs walked away from the little group to go play hide and seek. It was better than listening to a crazy old bird any way.
A/N: Yeah that was all add libbed and that was kind of fun, I hope Bdlywrttn doesn't get mad though. And yes I know it was stupid but I had to do something silly before my next four chapters. The Simpson's are finally coming into my story, it will be four chapters long and I can't wait to start. I will probably only get one more chapter in too before I go on vacation starting July 10th which will last until the 21st. But you never know things can change.
Okay some big things that I've noticed. The last update was on June 6th, exactly one year since A Shattered Prophecy was completed which was June 5th 2007. I found that kind of cool. June 6th was also the date Kung Fu Panda came out. Awesome movie if you have not seen it by the way.
Also today June 19th is Garfield's 30th birthday so go to the funny pages and have a yummy cake with him. And another cool thing about today June 19th, exactly ten years ago, in 1998, Mulan made her debut in theatres. Yay for Mulan! So yeah lots of cool things to celebrate.
Well please remember to review and I hope the next chapter will be better, I seriously apologize for the stupidity, it might happen again. Oh well you need some stupidity in your lives, see you later.