Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Chapter One

Number 25 – Pranking McGonagall is like signing your own death warrant

"Moony! Stop fidgeting!" James whispered at the squirming werewolf.

"How can you be so calm?" Remus agonised. "When you think what we're about to do?!"

James shrugged. "It's like a gift."

Sirius turned to the pair. "Besides, we've been very careful. There is no chance in hell she'll know it was us!"

Remus looked from James to Sirius. Both were looking at him with earnest expressions. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Okay." He sighed.

James and Sirius's expressions changed in an instant to the evil expressions they usually wore before the execution of a particularly good prank.

"Right." James said efficiently. "All we're waiting for now, is for Wormtail to come back."

Sirius looked anxious. "Do you think he did it?"

No sooner had Sirius said this, when a rat scurried by them and into one of the toilet stalls. Moments later, an extremely nervous-looking Peter Pettigrew exited the stall to join his friends near the sinks.

"Did you do it?" Asked Sirius eagerly.

Peter nodded. "I was nearly caught by Fawkes, though. Lucky for me it's a burning day."

"Oh yeah," Said James, guiltily. "I'd forgotten about Fawkes."

Remus glared at him. "You sent Peter to Dumbledore's office in rat form and forgot about Fawkes!" Screamed the angry werewolf. "You know Fawkes can't stand him." James and Sirius both looked at the floor and mumbled incoherently. Remus sighed. "Lets get to Transfiguration. We'll talk about this later."

XXX

It was halfway through Transfiguration before anything happened.

The seventh year class were working on human transfigurations and were making notes on the subject. McGonagall suddenly stopped in mid-flow, startled at seeing the headmaster enter her classroom.

"Albus?" She asked. "What's wrong?"

The Headmaster walked past the students' desks until he was stood in front of the Transfiguration professor. James and Sirius's grins grew wider with each step the wizard took. Peter was quivering with anticipation. Even Remus had to admit, he was looking forward to seeing how this would turn out.

By this time, Dumbledore had knelt down in front of McGonagall and was looking up at her, the adoration showing plain on his face. "Minerva." He told her. "I love you."

The class was deadly silent. McGonagall seemed to have frozen. The Marauders were all trying to control their mirth.

The Marauders found it even harder to contain their laughter when Dumbledore got down on one knee in front of McGonagall. "Minerva McGonagall!" He declared, dramatically. "You are the love of my life! My hearts one desire! Will you be mine?"

The students were all trying to stifle laughter now. Sirius and James were laughing so hard they were clinging to each other for support.

McGonagall blinked. "Albus... I-I don't-"

"My dear Minerva! Will you be mine?" Dumbledore repeated, with even more 'oomph'.

Nobody was even trying to hold in their laughter anymore. The Gryffindors were howling, tears in their eyes; the Hufflepuffs were wetting themselves; the Ravenclaws had their faces hidden behind their books; the Slytherins couldn't stop chuckling.

"Please Minerva!" Dumbledore pleaded. "Tell me what it is that I can do to win your heart!"

"Buy her cat food!" Sirius whispered to James.

James snorted. "Or a squeaky toy!" The pair broke out into renewed giggles.

"Albus!" Screeched McGonagall. "What's the matter with you?"

"You are!" He declared, dramatically. He waved his arms about madly, causing Peter, who was unfortunately the nearest to him, to be knocked to the floor with a squeak. "I can't get you out of my mind!" Dumbledore continued, ignoring the poor boy he'd just decked. "Please tell me what would make you happy!"

"Go see Poppy!" McGonagall told him, desperately. "Tell her I sent you!"

Albus looked horrified. "Another woman?! Never! I love you Minerva! I refuse to turn to another woman!" This said, he got up from his position on the floor and started to move closer to the poor deputy headmistress.

McGonagall's eyes widened as she automatically stepped back. When she was backed up against her desk, she looked around frantically for an escape route. Seeing her only chance, she transformed into her cat animagus form and shot out of the classroom by running underneath all the desks.

"Wait! Minerva! My love!" Dumbledore cries, legging it out of the door after her.

The laughter of the seventh years grew until they couldn't hear themselves think. When the laughter died down slightly, James and Sirius stood up and bowed to the class.

"Thank you! Once again, your class-time entertainment has been brought to you by the Marauders!"

There was a round of applause from the class. Even some of the Slytherins congratulated them.

When they sat down, they saw Remus wore a pensive expression. He turned to his friends and said seriously "you do know that if she ever finds out you did this, she'll kill you."

James and Sirius' smiles disappeared. Their eyes grew wider. "She wouldn't do that! ... Would she?" Asked James, worriedly.

"I mean, she'd give us detention and take a few house points, right?" Sirius wore the same worried expression as his best friend. "She wouldn't kill us, would she?"

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Were you watching the same thing that I was? She finds out it was you, she'll have your guts for garters."

"She'll grind our bones to make her bread!" Sirius whimpered, who had heard this phrase in Muggle Studies. It seemed to fit this situation.

James looked at his friends, seriously. "Well. There is only one ting we can do."

"What's that?" Sirius asked, hopefully.

James smiled, cryptically. "Make sure she doesn't find out."