Teyla paced outside the patient's shower in the infirmary, waiting for Elizabeth to finish. She contemplated the breakfast she had shared with her teammates, a strange and strained affair considering the fact they had Elizabeth back among them. John had been particularly quiet, his face pinched with worry and fatigue. Rodney, too, had been much less vocal than usual, though he had managed to moan about how he practically had to fix everything because the other members of his team were incompetents in comparison to him before finally clamming up completely. Ronon, though amused by Rodney's rantings, had said very little, but that was not unusual and had proved something of a comfort to her.

Now, she was standing in a cordoned off area, with armed guards either side of it to ensure no one got in, and Elizabeth didn't get out. Her hazmat suit felt stuffy and uncomfortable, but Dr Keller had insisted she wear it as she might be required to help Elizabeth in some physical capacity should she fall ill while taking her shower.

Fifteen minutes had passed and it was quiet inside the shower room, so Teyla decided to shout through the door and make sure everything was as it should be. 'Are you all right, Dr Weir?' she called out, her voice sounding odd to her within the confines of her rubber headwear.

'Yes; I'll only be a moment,' Elizabeth replied, sounding unnecessarily apologetic for the time she was taking. Teyla didn't mind waiting for her in the least. After several days without proper food, water, or anywhere to get clean, she could completely understand Elizabeth's desire not to rush the process.

She leaned back against the wall, pondering whether or not to take off her helmet for just a moment to release some of the heat building up inside it and scratch the itch in her hair she'd been trying to ignore for the past ten minutes. But she was under strict instructions not to put herself at any kind of risk of contamination, so she decided to continue to ignore the itch as best she could. Instead, she thought about her conversation with John the previous day, the one when he had admitted he'd wanted Elizabeth back more than anything in the world. That was the most intense emotion she could ever remember him expressing, and the memory brought with it a surprising surge of resentment.

For some time now, since John had been infected with the retro virus and had swept her up into an overwhelming and slightly aggressive kiss, she'd been harbouring desires for him to show a sign that the feelings that had surfaced were not merely caused by the infection. Sadly, he'd not looked at her with anything other than respect or friendship since that day, much to her disappointment. Even their Bantos training sessions had dwindled over the past year, and he rarely found time now to accompany her to the gym and practice his skills. She missed the camaraderie those sessions had incubated between them, their time alone, and the opportunities for closeness and physicality. It was rare they spent any time alone now; their conversation the previous evening had been the first time in weeks.

A smile crept onto her face as she recalled some of their earlier sparring sessions when he had been all enthusiasm and almost no talent. She'd taken great pleasure in swatting his backside with ease to show him the ineffectiveness of his defence. She'd sensed how much that annoyed him, but it was hard to resist, he was so attractive when brooding and humiliated.

Of course, she'd not confided her true feelings for John to anyone in the team, in fact, the only person she had discussed her secret longing with was now dead. She sighed as she remembered Dr Houston, a fun loving scientist she had become from friends with over the three years they'd worked together. The scientist had often urged her to be honest with John because he was obviously not going to make the first move, but Teyla knew him better than that. If she ever admitted how she felt, he would only withdraw even further from her. There were regulations governing such things, and though he was not averse to bending the rules, that was one she felt certain he would uphold.

It had come as quite a shock when Ronon had asked her if she'd known John had been married after the memorial service for Carson, but it was just one of the many missing pieces in the puzzle that was John Sheppard. The fact he hadn't shared the news he'd been married in the past with anyone but Ronon, and then only after almost two years of friendship, suggested it hadn't been a happy experience for him, and probably explained his reticence to become emotionally involved with anyone. The only person he'd shown any genuine affection for was Cheya, the Ancient who had deceived them all to win the opportunity to spend time with him, but she had proved unattainable, and the whole experience had left him even less willing to show his true feelings for anyone.

Another wave of what felt like jealousy swept over her as she recalled meeting him on his way to share a picnic meal with the woman. He'd clearly been embarrassed to be caught in the act of wooing her, but she'd forced on a smile and told him he was allowed to have feelings for people without having to justify them to others. As she'd returned to her room after bidding him an enjoyable night, tears had stung her eyes and she had been unable to sleep for hours. Back then, only weeks after meeting him for the first time, she had still held out hope that they would form a relationship closer than friendship, but as time had passed, she'd realised his focus lay elsewhere. John Sheppard was a man devoted to his job; he put protecting people above everything else, including his own happiness.

Working alongside him had been both pleasurable and tortuous for the past three years. Her early desires hadn't been entirely without foundation; there had been signs of interest from him. When she'd first spoken to him in her home camp she'd felt a definite spark between them, and when he'd found her necklace in the abandoned city and helped her to put it on, his fingers had lingered a little too long on her coat front and his eyes had held hers just a moment longer than had seemed appropriate for a stranger who sought only trade and friendship. She'd felt certain their alliance would blossom into something more, and it had seemed he wanted the same thing, but, after the Wraith attack on her village and the loss of Colonel Sumner, John had taken on responsibilities that changed his outlook on their mission. He'd taken Teyla into his team, and she'd agreed to work with him because the thought of not doing so had been too painful to even contemplate. But their working relationship had overshadowed anything she'd hoped to find with him, and though their friendship had been a comfort to her when her people had moved to the mainland and left her behind, it simply wasn't enough. Sucking in a shuddering breath, she realised now with startling clarity that she still wanted more from him.

'Teyla?'

Elizabeth's voice made her start, and she pushed up away from the wall where she had stopped to lean. 'Elizabeth! Is everything all right?'

'Yes, everything's fine. You seem to be a million miles away, though.'

'I was just remembering happier times,' she said, giving Elizabeth a smile. 'Things have been so trying lately it is hard to remember them.'

'Yes...I know how you feel.'

Teyla was suddenly wracked with guilt for sharing her feelings with Elizabeth, whose problems were clearly far worse than hers. 'I'm sorry, Dr Weir. You do not need the added burden of my concerns.'

'Don't apologise, Teyla. You can share as many of your worries with me as you like – it takes my mind off my own problems!'

When she looked into Elizabeth's intelligent green eyes, Teyla saw only compassion there. It made her feel terrible for resenting the attention John was giving to her, the sleepless nights he was experiencing since her troubles had begun, and the fact he had wanted her back 'more than anything in the world'. She wondered if anything would ever erase those words from her memory, or the pain they caused whenever she recalled them.

'Come, I should escort you back to the isolation room. I understand Colonel Sheppard is going to record an interview with you.'

'That's right,' Elizabeth replied, walking along with her as two armed personnel slotted in behind them. 'The IOA don't trust me, and I can't say I blame them.'

Teyla forced on a smile. 'I'm certain that is not true. They are an organisation that thrives on information. I'm sure they simply want to document your experiences in the hope of better understanding what has happened to you and helping you.'

Elizabeth let out a little laugh. 'Oh, Teyla. I can always count on you to try to find the silver lining in every dark cloud. But I see how everyone looks at me. None of you trust me...not completely.'

'That is not true –'

'Come on, Teyla. Can you honestly put your hand on your heart and tell me you haven't had doubts about what happened to me?'

Teyla hesitated, instantly regretting the fact she had to reach for words when speaking to someone she had long considered a friend. 'We all have questions, but now you are feeling well enough, I'm sure you will be able to give us the answers we seek.'

The corridor seemed to stretch out far longer than usual as they made their journey back to the isolation room. Teyla had always loved the city of Atlantis from the very first moment she had set foot on it, but now it didn't feel as safe as it once had. The Asurans had almost destroyed them, and Elizabeth carried within her the building blocks of their society. It was impossible for them to feel completely at ease while those Replicator units were still active within her. Even the sunlight streaming in through the tall windows did little to cheer her mood as she contemplated just how dangerous the life form keeping her friend alive was.

'Teyla, can you do something for me?' Elizabeth asked, interrupting her thoughts.

'Of course – what is it?'

'Look after John for me. I get the feeling this is very difficult for him and he's under a tremendous amount of pressure.'

Forcing down her jealousy, Teyla smiled her agreement. 'I will. I know both he and Dr McKay are struggling with the increased responsibilities our fight with the Replicators has placed upon them.'

'Well, those two usually end up bearing the brunt when problems arise here. John never wanted to be in charge of Atlantis itself, and he needs to allow other people to share the responsibilities, not try to do everything himself. Talk to him...let him know you are all there to help. I've told him so myself, but he respects you, Teyla. If you tell him the same thing, I'm sure he'll listen.'

Teyla felt heat burn in her cheeks at the suggestion Elizabeth thought she and John were that close. 'I think you underestimate the esteem he holds you in. If he won't do something after you have recommended it, I doubt I could sway him to do otherwise.'

'Well, apparently I'm not the only one who's underestimating the esteem I'm held in,' Elizabeth smirked. 'Just promise me you'll speak to him; that's all I'm asking.'

'I will,' Teyla agreed.

When they arrived at the isolation room, Teyla found Sheppard and McKay were already in there waiting for them to return. Sheppard turned as they entered, watching Elizabeth as she made attempts to preen her wet locks into place. Teyla recognised the body language. Elizabeth cared about what John thought of how she looked. It seemed she cared about him much more than she'd ever let on in their personal conversations, but she could hardly fault her for that; she'd kept her own feelings for the colonel secret from Elizabeth, too.

As Teyla watched his reactions to Elizabeth, his expression passing through worry to compassion, his eyes then drifted to her. 'Is all that really necessary?' he asked, gesturing toward her suit.

'Dr Keller insisted I wear it in case I was required to physically assist Dr Weir. Had she slipped or fallen ill, I would not have been able to help as quickly as I could when wearing this.'

'Right,' he said, but she could see he wasn't entirely happy with the reasoning.

'Dr Keller was absolutely right, John. We can't afford to be careless until you're certain I pose no threat,' Elizabeth added, giving Teyla her whole-hearted support.

'Erm...maybe I should just go and...' Rodney stuttered, thumbing toward the door.

'Rodney,' Sheppard growled, throwing him a killer look. 'As long as we don't make contact with her, there's nothing to worry about. You don't need a suit.'

'Yes...yes of course,' Rodney nodded, but Teyla could see he was unnerved by Sheppard's insistence they not wear protection.

The fact John had decided to reject the protection didn't surprise her, not now, not after the things she'd heard him say, but forcing Rodney to show the same level of support when he was often worried about catching something as minor as a cold seemed unfair to her. She made a mental note to discuss it with John at a more appropriate time. But right now, they had the IOA breathing down their necks for answers, and the colonel clearly wanted to get the task over with. She had no doubt that listening to what Elizabeth had been through would be trying for both men, but she hoped it might help them find some closure for the guilt they were both struggling to rid themselves of.

'I will leave you to carry out your interview,' she said, giving John her most reassuring smile. Then she turned her attention to Elizabeth. 'I will see you again later, Dr Weir. I hope this interview isn't too difficult for you.'

'I'm sure Colonel Sheppard will be gentle with me,' she joked. 'Thanks for your company this morning, Teyla.'

'You are most welcome.'

With a final glance to John, Teyla ducked out of the room and stood in the corridor as the door slid shut behind her. Slipping off her headgear, she took a few deep breaths of cooler air to steady herself. That final look the colonel had shared with her had conveyed the conflict he was battling with. This mistrust of Elizabeth he was trying so hard to deny was eating into him, and she could do nothing to assuage his doubts because she felt them almost as keenly as he did. In fact, some deeply disturbing part of her didn't want to alleviate his worries. After all, Elizabeth was coming between them.

Biting back tears of frustration, Teyla shook that thought away. Elizabeth was not coming between them. If their relationship was meant to be, nothing would have stopped it. The truth was, her feelings for the colonel were unrequited – hard as it was to bear, that was what stopped them being together.

Angered that she could stoop so low as to wish Elizabeth ill, she strode away to return to her room. An hour of meditation would return her inner balance and calm her frayed nerves. Then, she could banish these ridiculous thoughts and get on with the important task of supporting all her friends through this difficult time, regardless of her personal feelings for them.