Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Chapter Two

Number 9 – Moony's 'Furry Little Problem' is not an excuse to get out of Transfiguration

"James!" Remus growled. "For Merlin's sake, sit down! You're making me dizzy!"

James paused in his pacing in front of the common room fire for a second, but then just continued it.

"She knows!" James told them, panicking. "She knows it was us! Did you see her at dinner last night? She kept looking at us with that all-knowing glint in her eye."

"We're toast." Sirius nodded solemnly.

Remus sighed. "If we knew you would keep coming out with all these weird muggle phrases, we'd never have let you take Muggle Studies."

Sirius stuck his tongue out, childishly, at his friend.

The four of the walked down to breakfast in silence; James and Sirius, contemplating their untimely deaths; Peter, blissfully ignorant, wondering if there would be bacon for breakfast this morning; Remus, cursing whichever gods decided that he needed friends as wappy as these.

They sat down at the Gryffindor table, next to the seventh-year girls. As James sat next to Lily Evans, she turned around, ready to reject the inevitable proposal… which didn't come.

She looked at James, startled. He had a look of mourning on his face. She looked at Sirius, on his other side, and saw that he was wearing the same one.

"What's up with Potter and Black?" She asked Remus, who was sat across from her, and probably the only Marauder she was likely to get a sensible answer from.

"They're contemplating their untimely deaths, à la McGonagall," he replied.

Lily blinked. "Um…why?"

"Oh, you weren't in Transfiguration yesterday, were you?" Remus realised.

"No, it was my Uncles funeral." She told him.

"That's probably why they did it," he reasoned. "They knew you wouldn't be around to put a stop to it."

"What?" Lily was curious now. "What did they do?"

Remus looked around to make sure that no one was listening in, leant across the table and whispered in Lily's ear, "they laced Dumbledore's lemon drops with love potion."

"They did what?" She shrieked.

At her loud exclamation, James turned around and finally noticed the 'love of his life' sat next to him.

"Oh, Evans!" He said pitifully. "Kiss me now! Before I am killed!" He exclaimed dramatically.

Lily grimaced. "Not if this really were your last day on this earth, Potter." She rolled her eyes. "For Merlin's sake! She's not going to kill you!" She looked at them scornfully. "She wouldn't rick Azkaban just for you two!"

"But you don't understand!" Sirius agonised. "She had Dumbledore chasing her around the castle for three hours!"

Alice Brown choked on her toast. "Three hours?!"

Sirius nodded pitifully. "And now, she is going to kill us in a really gruesome way!"

Marlene McKinnon, on the other side of Alice shrugged. "I don't know," she said dryly, "she might just avada kedavra you. Less mess."

Sirius and James whimpered. Remus sighed. "Thanks, Marlie."

She shrugged. "Just trying to help." She went back to buttering her toast.

James turned to Remus. "I'm too young to die!" he wailed. "Irefuse to die before Evans goes out with me!" He said, determinedly.

Remus smiled. "That's it. Think positively."

James nodded, and then turned to Sirius. "And that is why, my dear Moony, Padfoot and I will not be joining you for Transfiguration this morning."

Remus spluttered on his tea, which he had just deemed it safe to drink. "Y-you what?!"

Sirius agreed with James. "Yep. We just need a good excuse to get out of lesson!"

All around the, Gryffindors threw in their suggestions.

"Pretend to break your leg!"

"Really break your leg!"

"Provoke a Slytherin to hex you!"

"Glue yourself to Filch!"

This lat one came from Peter, who, against all odds, currently had no food in his mouth. As one, the Gryffindors turned to look at him. Peter gave a small "Eep!" and ducked his head.

"Glue ourselves to Filch?" said Sirius, incredulously. "What would that do?"

"Well, Filch wouldn't want to sit through a lesson, would he? He'd trail you about the castle looking for something to un-stick you." He said in a small voice.

James and Sirius considered this for a moment, then realised it would entail spending the better part on a day around Filch, and shuddered.

"Any better suggestions?" James asked.

Marlene shrugged. "You could say you've been bitten by something and that you think you've caught some disease. I'll tell her for you if you want." She offered.

James suddenly sat up straighter and looked at Sirius. Sirius caught on immediately. As one, the two marauders, turned to look at Remus, twin grins on their faces.

Remus frowned, then he cottoned on. "NO!"

"Aww! Moony!" The boys whined.

"For us! Your bestest pals!" Sirius pouted.

"You don't actually have to-" James reassured.

"-just tell McGonagall that you think you did-"

"-and she'll feel so concerned, that she'll forget about killing us!" They finished, simultaneously.

"Well…" Remus pretended to consider. James and Sirius looked at him hopefully. "…no." He got up and started to walk out of the Great Hall.

It took the boys a few moments to realise that their friend had said no. When they cottoned on, the scrambled up and followed Remus, leaving behind bemused girls, and Peter, who was so bust stuffing his face, he hadn't noticed his friends leave.

"…please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please-"

Halfway up the staircase, Remus snapped. "My furry little problem is not an excuse to get out of Transfiguration!"

He continued up the stairs, leaving behind two whinging teens.

"But Moony…!"