Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, who belongs to JK Rowling. I also do not own the Knights Who Say 'Ni' or the Ministry of Silly Walks, who belong to the Monty Python lot.

Notes: 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' (1969) and 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' (1975) are both before the time frame of this story. I checked. I would also like to mention that I think Monty Python is comedy genius at its best. Thanks XD

Chapter Five

Number 29: I will not convince the suits of armour that they are the Knights Who Say 'Ni'

Number 30: I will not set up Hogwarts' own 'Ministry of Silly Walks'

Number 31: I will convince the Muggle Studies teacher why it was a bad idea to introduce Padfoot to Monty Python.

James and Remus were desperately searching for Sirius one Saturday afternoon. James had finally convinced Remus to help them with their Defence homework, but they couldn't find Sirius anywhere. For that matter, Peter was missing too. Though they probably figured that Peter had nipped down to the kitchens for his post-lunch snack.

They finally found Sirius in the Charms corridor. He was arguing with the suits of armour, with Kelsie staring at him incredulously, when James and Remus walked up.

"For the last time!" Sirius sounded exasperated. "It's not that hard. Say it with me... 'Ni!'"

The suit of armour shook a little, which creaked, but otherwise made no noise.

"Ni! Ni! Ni!" Sirius cried, trying to encourage the other suits of armour in the corridor.

"Padfoot?" asked Remus, concerned. "What in the name of Merlin are you doing?"

Sirius spun around, and looked delighted at the sight of his friends. "Yay! You can help me! Kelsie just doesn't understand the comedic genius that is Monty Python!"

Remus, whose mum was a half blood, realised what was going on and raised his eyes to the heavens, praying for strength.

"Monty Python?" James frowned. "The name sounds vaguely familiar. Wasn't he a Potions Master?"

Sirius looked close to tears. "...Potions Master?! I am surrounded by fools!" he cried. "Monty Python was a Muggle comedy group that both wrote and performed what is possibly the best comedy sketch show of all time!"

James looked even more confused than before. Remus rolled his eyes and whispered in James's ear. James listened and then turned to Sirius.

"Muggle Studies was a really bad idea," he stated.

Sirius eyes widened and he whined. "But I love Muggle Studies! It's my favourite subject!"

"We know you love it Padfoot," Remus said patiently. "We just don't think it's appropriate for you to go obsess over all these Muggle things."

"What were you trying to do, anyway?" James asked.

"I was trying to convince the suits of armour that they are the Knights who say Ni. I thought it might give Filch a fright." Sirius sighed dramatically. He pretended to wipe away a tear. "I guess it just wasn't meant to be." He sniffed, theatrically.

James, Remus and Kelsie rolled their eyes as one.

"Come on, Padfoot," Remus coaxed. "We're going to have a nice little talk with the Muggle Studies Professor."

Sirius looked as if he was going to protest, but seeing the look on his friends' faces, he gave in.

They started walking down the hall, but stopped quickly when Kelsie cried out in pain. Sirius's leg had come up in a kick and his shoe had caught Kelsie on the back of the leg.

"I'm sorry Kelsie," Sirius apologised. "I think my silly walk is getting a bit too silly."

"Silly walk?" Remus looked exasperated as he made sure Kelsie was okay. "What are you talking about Padfoot? Why are you walking funny?"

"Silly," Sirius corrected. "Advertising," he said simply.

The other three waited for him to elaborate. When he didn't, James sighed. "What are you advertising, Pads?"

Sirius smiled and gestured them to follow him.

Sirius walked his silly walk all the down to the Entrance Hall, despite his friends' protests. His silly walk consisted of a normal step forward, a kick, an upper body twist to the right, two backwards hopes and three hops forward.

James, Remus and Kelsie stayed well out of reach, for safety reasons.

When they got to the Entrance Hall, they saw a table set up against the wall. A banner was pinned above it, proclaiming 'The Ministry of Silly Walks." Peter was manning the table and handing applications and leaflets out to interested students. There were several people practicing silly walks up and down the hall. Two second years girls had gotten into an argument over who stole who's half turn jump twist in the development stages.

Remus and James surveyed the spectacle in silence. They then turned to Sirius, who was beaming. They both turned around and headed in the direction of the Muggle Studies classroom. They were going to have a very long talk with the Professor about putting ideas into students' minds.

XXX

A few floors up and a couple of corridor's across, there was a lot of thought occurring. Anyone who happened to walk down the corridor would say that they could almost hear the cogs turning.

After a while there was a creak and some slight rattling as some thought slid into place and, in an otherwise empty corridor, a suit of armour suddenly became more cultured.

"Ni."