Chapter 6 – These boots aren't made for walking
With the passing of time Joe reconciled himself with the idea that the Queen owned a bike and a motor suit. It was helpful that Her Majesty's machine never left the stables but still when one day his lady informed him that an appointment had been cancelled and that she wanted to go for a ride in an hour's time Joe confidently and wisely replied that he would arrange things.
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´Remember what I told you about the wireless,´ Joe instructed Capras and Iglesias.
The men nodded: Her Majesty's communication device was on their frequency and she would hear every word they uttered. Rumour had it that Her Majesty had not been too fond of Mr Romero's suggestion to use an ear and microphone but that she had agreed to give it a try.
´I don't want to hear another I saw a chick last night who owned four melons Iglesias!´
The three of them had had a test ride to use the new communication tool. With Capras riding in front of him Iglesias had quite forgotten that his boss was behind him and he had been his usual subtle self. When Iglesias saw the Queen leave the stables he put a piece of gum in his mouth so he would remember to shut up.
OoOoOoO
It's going just fine, Joe mused.
The guards were silent and the Queen was an admirable motor cyclist. In more than one way...
´Capras, we will be going left on the roundabout,´ the Queen informed the guard who was riding in front of her.
´Yes ma'am,´ came Capras's reply.
The maximum speed on the motorway was hundred and thirty kilometres and Her Majesty kept to it. So did Joe. Or so he thought. The distance between him and Iglesias, who was the third motor cyclist, was increasing. Joe checked his speedometer. Hundred and twenty? He increased his speed. The gap didn't become smaller and the speedometer now read hundred and fifteen. A few hundred metres further on, Joe's bike had slowed down even more.
´Capras, go to the next filling station. Code four.´
Her Majesty had suggested to have the front driver being followed by the others. She'd told Joe that princess Emma used that method too. Joe had liked the idea: in case of need he could command a guard and he wouldn't have to give Her Majesty instructions.
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There was a car-park behind the filling station and that's where Joe found Capras and Iglesias flanking their Queen. He drove towards them and got off his bike.
´What is wrong Joseph?´ the Queen wanted to know.
Although she had dismounted, she hadn't removed her helmet and her visor was down. She used her microphone to communicate.
Joe took off his helmet.
´My motor cycle is losing speed ma'am. It was down to ninety-seven when I arrived here. I will need to take it to a garage.´
´It's too dangerous to drive it there Joseph. I suggest you contact the Castle and have them sent a horse-box.´
Before the Queen could make more suggestions Joe told her that he would immediately take care of it. He made it for the filling station taking his bike with him.
That wasn't gentleman like Joe, Conscience Joe told him, walking away like that.
She agreed to have three guards with her, Joe reminded Conscience. I will not return in the rear seat of a car.
Joe talked to the boss of the filling station who allowed him to park his bike in a shed used by her employees. He returned to the leather clad Queen who was checking her watch.
´I've arranged for my motor cycle to be safely stored here ma'am.´
´Fine,´ the Queen replied, ´will you wait here or can I give you a lift? My motor cycle is the only one that can carry two.´
Joe had heard her say something similar before but then he'd been asleep. Some dreams just shouldn't come true.
´Have you ever driven a motor cycle with a passenger ma'am?´
´Yes I have Joseph. It was part of the driving lessons. Princess Emma didn't fear sitting on the passenger seat...´
Merde!
´But she is not nearly as heavy as I am ma'am.´
´As long as a passenger doesn't make silly moves it is perfectly safe.´
´But I don't know where you're going,´ Joe tried, ´I might move left when you move right.´
´When you sense that I go right, it would not be wise to move left, would it? Besides, you'd hear the instructions.´
The Queen, thinking Joseph's fears were gone, gestured the guards to mount. But a desperate head of security does not surrender just like that. Joe told Iglesias to hand his keys to Her Majesty so she could ride his motor cycle.
´You and I will return on her machine.´
´Excuse me?´
´Ma'am as your head of security I strongly recommend you not to share a bike.´
´It is noted down Joseph. You have not convinced me. It is perfectly safe. Capras, Iglesias, we are leaving.´
Joe stepped towards her.
´Ma'am please. You've proven to be an excellent rider but sharing a motor cycle... Please don't.´
It wasn't the compliment that made the Queen nod: there was no time for discussion and arguing with her head of security in front of his men just wasn't proper.
´The next time we go for a ride, make sure your motor cycle is in tip top shape Joseph.´
´I will, thank you.´
Joe told Iglesias to hand Her Majesty his keys. Why did the young man seem uncomfortable?
´Iglesias!´
The guard cleared his throat and pushed his gum against his left cheek.
´I've uhm. I've... I... Perhaps it's not a good idea sir.´
The Queen turned her head towards Iglesias. He just knew she was raising her eyebrows and addressing his boss he hastily formulated his objection: ´I've increased it sir.´
´That's just great Iglesias,´ Joe commented after a moment, ´We'll talk about this later on. Capras, have you increased your bike too?´
´No sir!´
´Good. Hand Her Majesty your keys please.´
Iglesias cleared his throat.
´Sir?´
´What is it?´
´He didn't increase his bike. But I did.´
´What?´ both Joe and Capras cried out.
The Queen, shaking her head, walked to her motor cycle.
Joe mouthed not a word! toward his men and hurried to prevent the Queen from mounting.
´I am sorry ma'am but you can't use either of their bikes.´
´I understand that Joseph. We will have to share my motor cycle after all.´
´Could you hand me your keys please ma'am?'
A small sound escaped Capras's lips. Iglesias nearly swallowed his gum.
´Excuse me?´
´Could you hand me your keys please ma'am?´
Her Majesty put her visor up and glared at her head of security.
´So I can drive us home,´ he explained.
The Queen's look could have frozen Joe on the spot had he not stared at a truck behind her.
´In thirty minutes I have an appointment and it will take twenty minutes to get back.´
Joe wilfully misunderstood her.
´Well ma'am, when I'm driving, we will certainly make it on time.´
By way of a reply the Queen put her visor down, placed her hands on the wheel and swung her right leg over her motor cycle.
´I'm waiting Joseph.´
Joe walked towards her.
´It would not be appropriate for me... not to be driving.´
It sounded horrible in his own ears.
Capras paled: he didn't like it when people got themselves in trouble. Iglesias fanatically chewed his gum.
´Get on the rear seat,´ the Queen replied, dangerously even,´return with the car that will pick up your motor cycle or walk. Decide now.´
We can do it! Conscience encouraged. All will be well, don't worry. We'll manage! Just think of viscount Mabrey!
I can't make it! She will be too near. Too close. I would have to hold – Joe replied.
Mabrey in swimming-trunks! With his stomach hanging over and little flowers in his beard. You can do it! Joe please: she's angry. Get on that bike!
Joe didn't even hear the Queen order his men to mount their motor cycles.
´Joseph? We are leaving...´
Joe inhaled, visualising Conscience's horrid picture.
The Queen had waited long enough. ´Joseph!´ came her refined voice.
Mabrey in a pink string! Conscience offered. With Daisy Duck swimming belts around his fat upper arms!
Joe tilted his head in appreciation for Conscience's imagination: this picture would enable him to sit behind her without causing embar-
´I see,´ the Queen concluded from the movement of Joseph's head. ´We will discuss this later on.´
She gestured Capras to lead and before Joe knew it, he stared at Iglesias's back.
While Conscience banged his fist against his fore head, Joe started walking down the car park. When he'd reached the spot where the car park ended and the slip road began, the three motor cyclists had long disappeared from sight. Joe turned around and walked back to the filling station to get his bike. No messages came through via the wireless.
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His bike now managed eighty-eight kilometres an hour. Joe switched on the hazard warning lights. Seventy-five. Joe finally left the right lane and made it for the hard shoulder. At the first opportunity he left the motor way.
Increasing a bike! What's the point of that? That moron!
It's easy to blame Iglesias, isn't it? Conscience interrupted, Don't forget that you're the one who refused to -
I didn't! I was ready but she misunderstood.
Oh! So now she's to blame?
´Capras,´ he heard her voice in his ear, ´take the second junction for Pyrus.´
´Yes ma'am.´
They were almost home. He had reached the village of Felton.
´Capras, Iglesias, the Head of Security's motor cycle broke down and we couldn't wait for it to be repaired. Understood?´
So they wouldn't talk... It was a small relief.
The maximum speed on the village road was thirty kilometres but it didn't take long before the locals saw a grim looking biker walking on the pavement wheeling his vehicle. After a five minutes walk he stared at what used to be garage Claude. On the old wooden fence he read: We've moved: behind chapel. Felton was one of few Genovian examples of ribbon building. The chapel was three kilometres down the road.
Joe dragged his bike, his motor cycle boots and his sinking heart to the garage.