She's exhausted, trying to push a kid out of her struggling belly is no joke and really she just wants to cuddle up on her bed, leave some kind of ridiculous movie on and find the comfort of a thousand years worth of sleep.
She feels like she's going to die.
She's been here for the previous 12 hours, in that hospital bed, waiting for the birth of her child and when she could see that beautiful face etched with perfection.
She can tell Keith was going to be just like Luke, wanting to enjoy and capture every moment than rather just rapidly move through life and right now she absolutely hated it.
It was all his fault. She looks directly to her fiancé, sweat beading across the front of her face and she narrows her eyes into slits , murmuring curse words at him before crushing his finger as she squeezed with all the mighty power she had flowing inside of her.
This was all his fault.
He suggested that she try and go 'natural' considering she'd remember every detail of this exact moment and for some stupid reason, she had gone along with it.
She should've realized it would've been a stupid choice.
"Drugs!" She pants, amidst the shouting and yelling of encouragement from the people around her. "I need drugs."
"Your doing great, Peyt." Lucas speaks, bending down to kiss her on the temple.
"Shut up!" She hisses, face crumbling in pain when she feels yet another contraction. " This is all your fault!"
Her doctor looks up, giving her an encouraging smile and she feels like rolling her eyes, she's not in the mood for smiling.
She's freaking exhausted.
"C'mon Peyton, one last push and your on your way to seeing that beautiful majestic kid you helped create." She smiles warmly. " You can do it."
She tries, she really does, just one last push and then she'd finally be able to see him, the infant she had wanted to see for so long… but she just can't.
There's absolutely no more dose of energy inside of her and she can feel her drowsy self just wanting to curl into sleep.
"I can't." She murmurs, shaking her blonde curls slowly. " I- I just can't."
"Baby, yes you can." Lucas encourages her. "This is our fate, Peyt. Bringing Keith into the world and teaching him the importance of life and love and discovering all of life's mysteries. You can do this, Peyt. And I'll be right here, by your side through it all." He tucks back a strand of her hair behind her ear. " Always."
She doesn't know why but suddenly she feels an incredible surge of power flow through her like she's suddenly some electricity volt that's just waiting to zap something out of her stomach and her face crumples, her face turns red and there she is pushing.
Pushing like there's no tomorrow.
It's all worth it to hear that earth shattering wail surround the room and catching a glimpse of tufts of blonde curls before she hears that doctor pronounce that phrase with incredible happiness in her features.
"Peyton Sawyer, you just gave birth to a lovely baby boy."
And she realizes then and there, when she exhaustedly collapses back into the pillows, that she'd go through that dreading process of giving birth if it meant she could bring that boy of hers, her boy into the world and feel him in her arms for the first time.
She watches as they clean him up, Lucas kissing the whole of her face excitedly and telling her that she was so brave and so confident and practically the strongest woman he knows and she gives him a tired smile, tracing the hint of that beard on his face before resuming her eyes on her baby boy.
And then the doctor comes back, and she's nestling her kid in that blue blanket and her arms are instantly stretched out just to feel her creation in her arms.
She smiles when he's handed to her and her smile gets wider and her eyes are sparkling, the wind being knocked out of her as her emotions stir inside of her and she finds big tears colliding with her moist cheeks.
He's perfect.
He's so small, so tiny but he has tufts of her curly hair that she knows he will inherit for the rest of his life and that chubby face. He has Lucas's lips and his cute little upturned nose and she's wondering if he has her smile or Lucas's or better yet what color eyes she has.
She gets one of her answers that moment.
His thin black eyelashes blink before his eyes flutter open and she's looking into those majestic shade of blue and she knows that every baby on the face of the planet is born with blue eyes but she knows his won't ever go away.
Her son is perfect.
"He's…. He's, God Peyt, just look at him." Lucas breathes and she can tell he is just in awe of their little miracle as she is. " I-I'm a father."
She refrains from telling him that he's been a father but this is too much of a perfect moment to spoil and then Keith's hand reaches out and grazes her cheek and its like he's telling her he knows, he knows that she's his mom and that he's perfectly comfortable with that.
Her tears are dropping faster and faster and she kisses his forehead before speaking. "Keith Nathaniel Scott." She breathes, with a breathless laugh. " Hey buddy, I'm your mom and I'm going to love you forever." she ends with a sob.
She means it. The whole loving part.
She's going to love him for an eternity and beyond and while she's thinking those thoughts, she turns her head and looks into Lucas's eyes and they both share a laugh of happiness and joy and contentment before their lips are aimed for each other and they are locked into a loving kiss.
She's pretty sure, from the way Lucas is staring at his son, that he's going to love him forever too.
--
Things change.
There's a primal moment somewhere in the reduction of time and the flashback of a certain four years when she was the baby everyone was lined up to meet, and she was the center of attention, spotlight directed at her while she glimmered beneath it and even as a child, flaunted all that she's got.
(At least that's what her mommy told her)
It was ironic to think, today, out of all days, everything was shifting and for some crazy reason, a new person was taking that position for the time being.
Her little brother is about to be born and for some natural sentiment that creeps up on you when unexpected she finds herself petrified out of her mind.
Like seriously, its like her Uncle Skills when he sees a pair of rats. He's all strong arms, muscle and hard exterior but when he sees any of those particular animals ( or any in general) manliness is flown out the window and as a replacement he's transformed into a bitter, helpless, screaming male version of a petrified little girl.
She just doesn't know what to do.
How does one become a big sister? What must you do? What must you look out for? She's seen tons of movies and it only seems to confuse her even more, most are mean and teasing with their younger siblings but some are actually reluctant to the whole sibling rivalry thing and act like they are best friends and they can't get enough of their presence.
She's asked Jamie and Lilly, but they don't have younger siblings which means they don't know how to take on the role and she's already bothered everyone enough with her constant questions on her previously non-existent brother already so she opted to ponder the re-occurring questions in her head.
Doesn't mean it makes it all the more easier.
She's pacing around the hospital room, (she put up a heated fight against her Aunt Brooke when she notified her that her mommy was finally having her tummy examined so her big headed brother can come out and it wasn't like she wasn't going to be there… She's a big sister and like her mommy said being a big sister comes sisterly duties and while she may not know all of them yet.. She knows attending the ceremony of her brother's birth takes part in the role, no one was going to prevent her from doing so) and her eyes are roaming wildly as they shift over to the clock every few minutes and before you know it she is huffing loudly and that annoyed expression flits across her face and everyone in the room knows that she's snapped her cap.
If they didn't know then, they did when she abruptly came to a stop, planted her hands on her hips and squinted their eyes at them.
"How long does it take to give birth to a baby!" She huffs, pursing her lips. "Annabelle took two minutes and she even let me 'hold' her."
"Annabelle is your doll, sweetheart." Haley responds for them all, equally exasperated as the child in front of her. "it's a little bit more… different in the birthing process when you're a human. You don't just take another random doll and hide it behind Annabelle's back before mumbling 'presto!' and have Annabelle carrying a long-legged version of herself that is exactly the same height as her. Its going to take some time before Keith comes out."
"That's right, K-Scott." Brooke rasps, stroking a slumbering Lilly's hand while holding on to the hand of Chase. " I remember waiting practically the whole day just for you to pop out, this birth compared to yours is like the speed of the roadrunner."
Kaylee not satisfied with that particular answer, growls before continuing her angry rant. " Aren't Doctors suppose' d to help wit that, that's what doctor's are for." She continues with a 'duh' kind of tune. " I say we sue em' and pull Keith out ourselves."
"We can't sue them when they are just doing their job, sweet pea." Remarks Karen, amusement in her eyes as her eyes stay fixated on her too lively consumed granddaughter.
She honestly was having a perturbed struggle with her stomach in order to release the laughter that was bottling her up inside.
Even on special days, Kaylee Anne Scott still made the spotlight glimmer on her with a good laugh or that indescribable personality of hers.
That girl would come along way with that.
"Sure we can, I'll just tell em' they're hurtin' Keith. " She smirks. " Isn't it what they are doing? I mean, I heard loud screaming in there!"
"That may have been your mother." Nathan quips back and Kaylee's innocent eyes widen immensely, breathless gasp captivating their room.
"See? We gotta sue em now, I don't like momma being hurt." She wails and everyone sighs in exasperation as a round of firm hands colliding with the back of someone's head could be heard as the group of friends hit her dark haired uncle.
"K-Scott, honey, Uncle Nathan was just being very silly." Brooke recites, pausing to send Nathan a deadly glare which he reciprocates by a sheepish look. " Mommy's just screaming because pushing Keith out hurts a little bit."
Kaylee's eyes widen once again and she's about to explore her mouth with another set of questions when the door suddenly widens and in comes a beaming Lucas , clad in hospital uniform with a glistening smile on that face of his and she realizes, she's never seen him bouncing with happiness as much as he is now.
Everyone is holding their breath, waiting for any upcoming news on the little infant that has surely rocked the world to its core and then her daddy releases the bullet in a whisper, shaking his head as if he can't believe what the universe has decided to gift him with.
"I've got a baby boy." He whispers and everyone lights up with excitement and anticipation and even against the nurses orders they are cheering loudly and expressing the joy her father had given from that statement and for a minute, she can't help but order the green eyed monster to take over her body.
It used to be her they'd clam up over, she used to be the person they were mesmerized by because of her small actions and her lively personality and in an instant, without even getting as much as a glimpse at her new sibling, the people she loved and adored most in the world were already getting wrapped around Keith's not yet seen indescribable finger.
She sulks as she follows everyone inside, she kind of doesn't want to meet him. She'd been excited before but this is the real deal and honestly, she's not sure if she can own up to it.
Being an older sister. Being Keith's older sister.
She was used to being in the limelight and shining in the spotlight and she wasn't sure if she can handle 'sharing' the attention, she was kind of scared of him soaking it all up and leaving her to dry.
Which she guesses by the way everyone coo's over his petite little being, wrapped up in a blue blanket, that he's already winning by a long shot. He's got everyone murmuring 'ooh's' and 'aww's ' and various ' He's adorable, guys. ' or ' well the kid definitely overcame the Sawyer gene, he's broody all the way, good luck taking care of this one, P-Sawyer, this one's going to be a catch.' or ' There's my grandbaby' or ' Definitely did a good job popping this one out , Sawyer, he's almost as handsome as his Uncle Nathan ' and ' I know this one aint corrupted by the Sawyer genes, dawg. He just like you, Luke, nice work, dude.. We need another ball player round 'ere.'
There's plenty more coming around from Mouth and Junk and Fergie and Millicent and even a few pleasant words from an excited Jamie and Lilly and Bevin and she just stands there, with saddened blue eyes, watching the scene unfold as they all slowly start to forget about her and she's left in the shadows.
That is till everything drifts silent and she can tell they've realized that she hasn't said anything or participated in any form of a way to greet her new brother.
"Kaylee?" Her mommy's voice floats into her ears and she can tell the attention is now focused on her and her alone. " Kaylee, honey, C'mere."
She's never one to disappoint or disobey her mother, she's done more than enough for her and the least she can do is oblige her for the rest of her life so her little legs slowly skedaddle up to her mother's side and with needed help from her father's part, he lifts her up so she can sit directly beside her mother and catch a glimpse of the brother she has wanted to meet for the longest 9 and a half months she had ever had to endure.
She can hear her father murmur, obviously beaming with joy and pride, when he strokes her hair and kisses the apple of her cheek. " Meet Keith Nathaniel Scott, Princess. He's all yours to keep."
She catches a glimpse of wisps of blonde curls and long, thick eyelashes that are dark and a cute little upturned nose that is exactly identical to hers, her mommy's lips and her mommy's pale skin color and that's when he realizes that her new brother is exactly all her father.
His long, dark eyelashes are moving and she realizes that he is stirring and for a moment, she's petrified because she has no real idea how to act, and then she gets a glimpse of those serious blue eyes of his, a carbon copy of hers and the twitching of his lips before his hand reaches out and grasps hold of her tiny little finger and for that splitting moment she smiles.
Jealousy has taken a hike to go bother some other kid and she traces his nose with her finger and she realizes then and there that she has no real idea to be jealous for the kid loves her with every fiber of her being and she realizes she loves him too.
She can hear vague sounds of 'Aww' and ' how cute is she? ' or ' look at that, makes me wanna call my sibling.' as she silently interrogates her parents by demanding that she hold Keith in her tiny little arms and before she knows it, they are positioning her arms, her mom with tears in her eyes and her father with a look of pride and contentment flashing around his blue orbs and then she's lost in a world that's just her and her new little brother, getting acquainted with one another.
Keith.
She's rocking him back and forth and he's blinking back at her, as if he wants to know who the stranger holding him is and she flashes him a wide smile before introducing herself to him like its second nature.
"Hey Keith, its been a long time coming huh? You nearly snapped mama off her cap. " She remarks, remembering back on the acts her mother did when pregnant and everyone in the room laughs. " I'm glad your out now, its kind of cool huh? Being around everyone that loves you and all, makes you glad you were stubborn, right? Well… there's nothing much I can say but , I'm Kaylee Anne Scott, your proud, loving , older sister and I'm going to love you forever." She kisses his forehead and taps his little nose before whispering. " I promise."
She knows her mommy and every other woman in the room is darn right crying right now but she blocks out the noise as she focuses on solely her brother and somewhere in the midst, she flashes back to that day, that day when she was unconscious and lying in that hospital bed when she met her brother's namesake and her smile becomes, if possible, larger.
She knows he's awfully proud of her.
And if it isn't enough, she gets the answer when she looks into her brothers eyes once again.
Good work, kid, good work.
--
She still can't believe this is her life.
Its amazing how things change.
She takes a look back at all the events that has flashed between her eyes for the twenty two years she has been alive.
She remembers being five years old and Nathan Scott being her faithful servant ( Even as a kid, he still had to go through gruesome ploys he wanted nothing to be a part of) testing ridiculous make up on his face that she stole from her mommy's vanity desk and making him wear a dress and forcing him to wear heels with Brooke Davis giggling at her side.
She remembers being eight years old and having her life turn upside down when her mom decides to go into the light leaving her to wallow in the darkness with her two chums ( Nathan and Brooke) at her side trying and failing to help her grieve.
She remembers being guided through darkness for the rest of her years(occasionally getting happiness by dating Nathan, that is until he completely transformed into a heartless dick) until Lucas Scott rode into her life on a white horse and declared to change her life forever.
She's flashed back to basketball and rivalry and 'I'll be seeing ya's ' and messing around when it clearly wasn't optional. Broken hearts, endless pain, friendship, exploring, absentee parents and fights and a mom that flys back from the oblivion and psycho's where she met her half-brother.
She remembers the state championship and that kiss, and love and freedom and happiness and then departing and giving birth to a beautiful child she will forever be grateful for and loneliness and despair and return.
She's flashed back to drama and heartbreak and searing pain and she realizes in the midst of all that that she had been drowned into sorrow and despair for the ¾ ths of her life.
And then she rounds back to the present with Lucas by her side, threading his perfect big hands in her blonde curls as they watch the scene unfold and their friends and family gathered at their side and a beaming daughter, performing her sisterly duty by catering to her younger brother in the best way she possibly can.
Peyton Sawyer, realizes then and there, throughout the mayhem life has thrown to her, that she has it pretty darn good and she wouldn't change her life any other way.
Their silence is broken when Brooke after deciding to let her god-child bond with the new infant that has managed to make everyone in the room fall in love with him, demands to hold her best friend's new baby and Kaylee pouts, making everyone laugh as Brooke growls at her before handing the baby to the excited brunette -mother to be.
And Brooke, with a dimpled grin on her face, cooes and fusses over the baby with absolute care and shares a hidden smile with Chase as she thinks, that soon enough, she'll be the one holding a baby in her hands, similar to this one, but this time hers.
And she can't wait.
Chase holds him next, not really manly enough to hide his excitement and he handles the kid with explicit care and love and Brooke actually cries, he feels like he's going to cry.
Karen pries the baby from Chase's arms and fusses and cooes over him and actually sheds some happy tears, she's a grandmother, for the second time and while she imagined herself a little older and actually sporting grey hair for atleast the second one to be born, she holds her new grandson in her arms, with that cute, adorable miniature version of her son face of his and she realizes she wouldn't have it any other way. She's eternally thankful to Peyton for giving her such beautiful grandkids.
Haley can't take it anymore and she demands the baby, practically tearing him away from Karen's hands which everyone laughs at as she half-heartedly throws her a quick sorry that at the moment, they all knew she really didn't care about.
She's holding that tiny little bundle in her arms and Nathan has come behind her, putting an arm around her waist with Jamie on his hip and both boys mimic Haley's expression, looking blown away by the little boy staring back at them and then Jamie questions if that's his new cousin and upon murmurs of approval, he finishes off with a loud 'sweet' and everyone rounds into a chortle of laughter, not being able to breathe when Nathan brags about the kids middle name, that is till Luke teases that Haley made his name a middle name to his kid and that he should return the favour.
Everyone cracks up at the look on his face, its obvious the words deflated his ego a little bit and Peyton can only pat his hand as a sweet gesture.
Peyton can't help but notice that Keith can totally pass up as Jamie's twin. She figures she and everyone else will have a problem figuring the two of them out when they reach their teenage years.
Skills comes up to join the Scott family and Lucas turns his head to look at her and she knows, that its time to announce what she and her husband- to- be had discussed earlier on, on their way to the hospital.
"Haley, Skills? Can you guys come here for a second." Lucas announces and the two are none too eager to oblige, baby still in Haley's hands as they approach.
"We've thought about this for a long time coming and it was a hard battle." He continues, being rudely interrupted.
"But Brooke, you're already a grandmother and Nathan your already a grandson and while you two will remain being an important figure in this kid's life." Peyton says, squeezing Brooke's hand as she eyes both Brooke and Nathan. " We've come to a decision…."
"That Haley and Skills are officially the new grandparents of Keith Nathaniel Scott."
"Shut up!" Haley shrieks in surprise, mouth opening and closing a few times, she was actually speechless. " I- I can't accept this."
"Sure you can." Peyton encourages, sending her a reassuring smile. " Look, I know we started off a little.. rough when I came back and that you were all for the enemy at the time but you're Lucas's best friend and you always have good intentions for him and you were just trying to be a friend and that's what I admire about you. You're always so good to us, Haley and frankly you deserve to be a godmother."
Haley tears up, lips shaking and everything before she maneouvers herself to give both her best friend and her soon to be sister in law a one-armed hug.
"Thank you." She whispers, and she doesn't get a reply back because she doesn't need one. They love her and she loves them and she loves the baby in her hands and she's eternally grateful that Lucas and Peyton got back together.
She would've never met this stud, if otherwise.
Lucas winks at Haley before turning his attention to Skills, concerned as he finds his childhood friend still standing in the same position, mouth ajar, eyes fixated on his now, godson.
"Skills?"
"Me." He actually points to himself, as if believing he and skinny girl were punking him out and simply messing with him. " I'm a godfather?"
Lucas laughs, patting him on the back before smirking. " Think you can handle being the go to guy for a child of mine for the rest of his life?"
"Who do you take me for? Of course I will, dawg. Haven't I done a good job enough with you already?" He quips and the room jumbles into laughter, him proceeding to take his godson out of Haley's hands. " Hey kid, I'm your god daddy Skills and if you wanna escape them crazy fools for a while, c'mon over, I'mma spoil you silly."
Skills turns his head to the happy couple, embraced into a hug and smiles widely at them. " Y'all picked the right person for the job, guys. You can count on that." He makes a show of putting his ear on the baby's mouth and nodding as if the baby was spilling him some juicy secret before smirking at the joyful couple. "Baby think so too."
Everyone chokes into laughter after that.
Keith is being handed around the room, him surprisingly not being affected by the fresh new faces and Peyton grins, looking wildly around the room that she is consumed in.
Everyone is smiling and laughing and getting along and for once its nice to see a drama-free filled day with laughter and love and joy to be passed around and it seems Lucas thinks the same for he's kissing her delicate lips of perfection and murmuring the same words to her and Peyton can't help but nod along in bliss.
She wishes some things were different, like her mom and Ellie and her father could be around to help relish in this moment and make it all better or if Keith could be around to enchant everyone with his beloved sayings that always seemed to make everyone love him even more but she's just fine with this arrangement too.
She knows her mom and Ellie and her dad and Keith are looking down at the scene with blissful smiles on their face and chatting everyone to annoyance about how proud they are of this moment and she can't help but feel comforted by that.
Her life could've been completely different but she's satisfied with the one that she has and she realizes that she wouldn't change it for the world.
And then Dan Scott strodes through the room and for a minute its awkward, in general, until her little bumblebee greets and places him into a giant hug while Lilly and Jamie come to embrace him aswell and then she's talking her socks off and bragging about her little brother before dragging him to go meet her.
He holds her little boy in her hands and looks down at him with such a tenderness she's only marveled at every single time he takes a glimpse at Kaylee or Lilly or Jamie and now her beautiful little son and before she knows it, his eyes are sparkling and his lips turn into a small smile and he's cradling that little kid of hers with every bit of love and affection he's got.
And she finds herself smiling at the scene, like actually, she can see everyone with a hint of a smile on their faces too and she's quite surprised to see that actually on the face of her fiancé and his brother but she takes it as she goes and she thinks that maybe, just maybe, things will resolve for the three of them.
Peyton Sawyer muses, right then and there, with contentment and love and adoration and just…. bliss.
That she fucking loves her life, drama and sorrow be damned.
This dark innocence they call life, is one that can be so pleasant and so marvelous and so breathtaking and she knows, that with whatever struggle that comes her way, she wil continue to hold on to it for the rest of her life.
--
Well there you have it, got it done just on Canada's day too, happy Canada's day, sorry it took me soo long to update. I love you guys and hope you love this chapter. How bout you show me how much you love me by reviewing a little bit.
;)