A/N: Holy crow! I thought my eyes were going to bug out of my skull when I saw the number of reviews on the last chapter. You guys really know how to make a girl feel good about herself. So thank you so much for that.
My fanfiction wasn't letting me reply to some of your reviews. So I decided to post this two days early instead. If you asked a question in your review I'll probably PM you with an answer-if I have one- and hopefully this site will stop acting dumb.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Edward POV

I fought the urge to punch something as I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling above me. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since I had left Bella there on the curb with her brother, telling myself it was for the best, and already I was kicking myself for that decision. I should have told her more, I should have waited, I shouldn't have just blurted out that I loved her. Hell, was it even love? I couldn't be for sure, what I could be sure of was that I was a complete and total wreck. I couldn't concentrate on anything as I was laying here on my bed, on top of the blankets, with my shades drawn. The lights were off completely, the only thing illuminating my room was the dim glow from the numbers on my digital alarm clock.

I had been avoiding my family since the moment I walked in the door, citing some lame excuse about how worn out I was from the long ride here before barricading myself in my room and collapsing into a heap on my bed, fully clothed.

I ignored the people who kept calling on me, as my mom came to beg me to join the family in the den to open Christmas presents and when my dad came to find out why I was avoiding them. I knew this could only continue for so long, but at the moment I wished I would never have to leave my bed ever again.

Another quick and quiet rap on the door brought me from my wallowing and I sighed as I moved my arm around to cover my eyes.

"I'm sleeping." I said hoarsely, surprised that my normally cool, crisp sounding voice was betraying my feelings.

There wasn't an answer as I turned on my side to face the wall of covered windows that sat opposite my bed, desperate for a change of scenery. Another series of knocks sounded again and I resisted the urge to throw a pillow at the door as I groaned and grunted.

"Sleeping."

"Liar." I rolled my eyes and slid off of the bed, letting my bare feet touch the cold wood beneath me as I made my way over to the door.

"Hey Alice." I muttered as I opened the door just a crack and peeked down at my five foot nothing baby sister.

"Hey to yourself." She growled as her tiny foot collided with the door and pushed it from my grasp.

She waltzed in without another word and threw herself down on my bed, crossing her legs at the ankles and laying her head against my mountain of pillows.

"What?" I barked as she smiled smugly up at me from her perch.

"Why are you hiding up here?" She demanded quietly.

"I'm not hiding." I tried to control the volume of my voice but I knew I was doing poorly when I saw Alice flinch and her smile faltered for an instant. "I'm just tired from..."

"From your trip." She finished and then she sat up, reaching over to turn on the lamp beside my bed before pulling her legs up against her chest and resting her chin on her knees. "Just tell me this Edward, what is her name?"

"Excuse me?"

"What. Is. Her. Name?" She repeated slowly as though talking to a child or an untrained puppy.

I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed beside her, staring at the picture that hung on the wall beside my closet. It was me and Tanya and Jasper when he was still dating that blonde girl. We were all wearing scarves as we stood in front of the ice rink and Alice snapped a picture, immortalizing us forever in that carefree, lighthearted moment.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I decided lying was the easiest way out of this and I made sure not to make eye contact. Apparently it wasn't enough.

"Edward, don't lie to me. I can see it from a mile away. Please, just...tell me."

"There's nothing to tell." I insisted, though I knew it was pointless. I never kept secrets from Alice, just like she never kept secrets from me. It was the one thing I relied on with her. The one thing that kept us so close.

"Of course there is." She demanded forcefully. "What's her name, where'd you meet her, and more importantly, why am I going to have to kick her ass?"

"She didn't do anything." I blurted out without thinking. I cursed as I realized my mistake and held my head in my hands while trying to will Alice out of the room.

"Ah ha. I knew it. And obviously she did something or you wouldn't be acting like a hermit on your first visit home in over four years."

The moment the words had left her mouth, the look on her face changed and I felt a stab of guilt in my heart. The last time I had seen my sister she was in her last year of high school and was madly in love with the greasy haired boy with baggy pants and a horrible complexion who took her to prom.

I turned my head to look at her. Clearly I had missed something. Somehow, some time, while I was off trying to rid myself of the people who reminded me of all that I had lost, I had missed this. I had missed my sister growing up. I had missed my father's first gray hair and my mom's first laugh line. I had missed the smiles and the tears and joys and the fears. I had missed it all and I had no one to blame but myself.

"Her name is Bella." I said and I looked up to see that Alice's interest was piqued. I could read it clearly in her gold flecked green eyes as she moved to sit right beside me on the bed. "I met her three days ago."

"Three days?" I stopped to look at her, raising an eyebrow. "Sorry, continue."

"She's just...I don't know what it is Al. Do you know when we had that talk about sparks and how once you find that person you're supposed to be with it will be like nothing else matters anymore. Your heart will be so full that you won't remember the times it was broken. She makes my heart so full that it feels like it's going to spontaneously combust inside of me. And it's not a bad feeling."

"Then why are you so torn up about it? This is good Edward. Tanya's been gone five years. You deserve to be happy too. She would want that."

"That's just the thing. I told her. I told her that I loved her and she didn't say anything back...she just...left."

Alice laughed, her beautiful, whimsical musical laugh that I hadn't realized I missed so much and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Sorry. I don't mean to laugh. But Edward you just met her..."

"So I shouldn't have told her? I should have just let her leave and not said anything? How would that have helped Alice?"

"That's not what I'm saying. Not at all." She sighed, exasperated and pulled her legs up to curl her pink socked feet underneath her. "Edward, after you left, it killed me. And don't get all emo depressed and guilty on me here, just listen."

She waited and I nodded my head, not knowing where she was taking this story. Or even if I wanted to go there.

"You were my best friend. The only person I could really talk to. And when you left it was like...losing a part of me. You're not just my big brother, you're my lifeline. But you were Jasper's too. Neither of us had anyone to talk to. We were both so messed up and hurt and just angry. So when Mom invited him over for dinner I realized that I wasn't alone. That other people hurt too. And five days later I told him I loved him."

"You what?" I chuckled as I watched a little pink tinge color her cheeks.

"Yeah, and he freaked out. He didn't call me for days and then when he did it was always forced conversation on his part. Awkward. So I stopped talking to him." She shrugged her shoulders and played with a loose string on my comforter. "Not even three days later he was here at the house asking to see me. Because he realized that he loved me too and the reason he freaked out when I actually said it, wasn't because he didn't love me, but because he was scared I would end up leaving him."

"Like I had."

"Hey, this isn't about you." Alice snapped but then laughed when she heard the absurdity of her own words. "Edward, maybe she didn't say anything, because she loved you too. Maybe she was scared."

"Love is Fear." I repeated the words I had absentmindedly voiced earlier when I sat next to Bella, watching her face, taking in every detail of her. Memorizing her.

"Exactly. But you also have to embrace that fear, and the feelings that come with it. Because otherwise, you'll miss out on all the great things that come with it."

I smiled down at my little sister. "When did you get so wise?"

"When I started watching Oprah." She giggled and leaned her head on my shoulder. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. And I really am sorry."

"I know you are. So, what are you going to do about this girl. Bella?"

"Yes, Bella. I'm not really sure."

"Ugh." Alice groaned, falling backwards on the bed and throwing her hands up in the air. "Do I have to do everything around here?"

I laughed as I pulled her into me, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and kissing the top of her head, avoiding the spikes of her hair. "And what do you suggest I do oh great Alice?"

"Go find her you moron." She giggled as she pushed me off of her and slid to the floor. "But first get your butt downstairs and open your presents. Mom is dying to see you and I'm sure she'll just die to know you fell in love on a bus."

"Alice..." I warned but it was too late, she was already flitting toward the door, a smile on her lips as she prepared to do exactly what she threatened to.

She stopped halfway though, turning to face me and her face was serious. Her green eyes deep with sincerity as her hand rested on the door knob behind her.

"I just wanted to say thanks too."

"For what?" I asked, perplexed.

"I know why you did it now. You had to save yourself. You couldn't be here and be a doctor like dad wanted you to be and you couldn't live with the reminders of everything you didn't have anymore. I didn't get it then, but I get it now.

"And I realized that if you hadn't left, I wouldn't have opened up to Jasper like I did. I wouldn't have stopped seeing him as my older brothers best friend and I would have missed this." She played with the engagement ring on her finger and the giddy, joyous smile returned to her face. "So, even though I missed you like crazy. And I hated every second you were gone...I can't say that I wished you would have stayed. Not really."

"Gee thanks." I teased as I stood up and walked over to her, once again wrapping her up in my arms and holding on to her.

Though she didn't know it yet, and she might not ever, she was the reason I was where I was now. Hopelessly in love with someone I had met three days before. Someone who was pregnant with someone else's baby and someone who I knew if I never saw again, I would never be whole.

"You know what I mean." She laughed, pulling away to stand on my toes and kiss my cheek.

"I do." I conceded and let her go to walk out the door with me close on her heels. "Oh, and by the way, best friend or not, I'll still kill Jasper if he hurts you."

"You do that." I heard her call over her shoulder as she pranced away. "But I'm still telling mom."

I smirked as I took off after her, first I was going to have Christmas with my family. Then I was going to go find Bella and this time, I wasn't going anywhere until I talked to her.

A/N: I have another story going called "To Love Again" and if I had to choose it would definitely be my favorite out of anything I've ever written apart from "attack of the dust bunnies" in third grade. Please check it out, especially if you love Jasper and Alice, and let me know what you think! And of course, review for a sneak peek of this lovely piece of...work.