Hey, ladies and gents. So, I have to admit that the first two chapters of Delightfully Debauched were not the greatest, mainly because I was trying to zip through them so I could get to the juicy stuff!

But now I have one word for you... Porn. That's all I'm going to say. Enjoy, my little ditties!

OH! Someone mentioned about the "Fierce Foursome"...no...not as in guy on guy. Actually, it's just a name for their group of friends, it doesn't imply anything. But I'll be sure to get into that later ;)

Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Bella

Rosalie's firm and toned ass sashays back and forth, right in my face, as I follow her up a few rows of bleachers to where Edward and Jasper are sitting. I can feel Alice tugging lightly on my shirt, either trying to subtly pull me away from the Fierce Foursome, or just as a way to release some of her pent up excitement. Whichever it is, it's getting pretty fucking annoying because the scoop neck of the shirt keeps dipping down with each wrench and showing off my cleavage.

Rosalie perches herself at Jasper's feet and pats the spot next to her, directly below Edward's knees saying, "Come sit by me, Bella."

I chance a glance at Alice and she gives me one curt nod. Edward looks at me with a blank expression as I sit down right below him.

"Alice, you sit here," Rosalie demands, tapping the metal bleacher on the other side of her.

Great. She's separating me from Ali. Shit, shit, shit!

How on God's green earth am I supposed to survive this sure-to-be-awkward night without Alice whispering directions in my ear? Hell, I can barely do much of anything without the girl's advice! Maybe that was Rosalie's plan...divide and conquer.

Alice gracefully sets herself down on the bench and neatly crosses her legs, her expression unreadable.

"So, ladies," Rosalie says, looking first at me, and then at Ali, "why is this the first time I've seen you here? I come to every basketball game to watch Emmett, but I never see you two."

There's a short pause, and then Alice says, "I guess we were just looking for a change."

"Mmm," Rosalie nods, just as a buzzer sounds and the game begins. She looks out at the court, her eyes scanning all the players, until she finds the one she's looking for. "Emmett looks sexy in his uniform, doesn't he, Bella?"

"Umm...I...Yeah...Sure," I mutter awkwardly. I hear two deep chuckles behind me from the boys, and a lighter and more condescending one from Rosalie.

Sure, I guess he looks alright. The sleeveless uniform shows off his creatine-enhanced biceps and the slick, glossy fabric of his shorts makes his ass look all firm and shiny. But why would Rosalie ask for my opinion? This chick is fucked up.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, Bella," Jasper says, nudging my shoulder with the tip of his Converse.

Rosalie nods. "He's right. It's okay to think boys are attractive. I'm sure Alice isn't jealous, right Alice?"

Alice's sharp cheekbones turn so red that I'm sure they could burn my fingerprints off if I touched them. "We. Are. Not. Lesbians," she gasps, punctuating each word with a sharp jerk of her head.

"That's a shame," Edward laughs just as Jasper mumbles a "Dammit".

"I knew it. I tried to tell you, boys, but you never listen," Rosalie says with a huge grin.

Jasper yanks the ends of her hair playfully. "Whatever, Rose."

For a while the five of us don't say much besides a "Shoot the damn ball!" or "Go, Emm!" from Rose and the boys.

And with the weight of the silence pressing down on me, my uneasiness grows. All I want to do is throw Alice over my shoulder and barrel out of here, back to Charlie's where we can shovel Ben and Jerry's into our faces and watch something that has Ben Affleck in it.

And just when I think that I might just follow through with that plan, Rosalie lets out an exasperated sigh.

"Okay you guys," she says, looking at all of us in turn. "This whole awkward silence thing is killing me, so I'm just going to be blunt... Alice, Bella," she looks at both of us. "Edward and Jasper seem to think that you two look absolutely amazing, and they also think that you're both in need of a good fuck. And I agree with both of those thoughts, but that is beside the point.

"Anyway, we want you two to come party with us tonight after the game. There will be plenty of booze and plenty of guys...or girls if you were lying about the whole lesbian thing," she winks. "So whaddya say?"

I look at Alice, who is looking back at me, trying to fight a smile. "Okay," she says in a high-pitched voice. "But we'd have to sneak out of my house."

"No problem," Edward reassures us with a freaking sexy crooked smile. "We'll ride you...to the party," he clarifies.

And it takes everything I have not to stand up and ride him right in the middle of the Forks gym.

*************************************************************************************
Alice won't stop pacing her room and it's really starting to bug me. "What's the problem, Alice? You're getting everything you wanted."

"I'm nervous."

"What are you nervous of?"

She sucks in her bottom lip and her cheeks flush a red that could rival mine. "What if someone tries to...hook up with one of us?"

Now my cheeks are red, too. "Well...I guess it's a possibility."

Alice rolls her eyes. "Bella, you heard Rosalie. We look like we 'need a good fuck'. That's basically announcing that we should expect someone to be fishing around in our panties!"

"I'm confused, Alice. I thought that's what you wanted."

She throws her arms in the air, exasperated. "It is! That's why I'm so freaked out!"

"Translation, please," I say, a bit annoyed.

"Bella...both of us have barely even kissed a boy. Hasn't it occurred to you that we're slightly...inexperienced? What if someone like Jasper Whitlock," she says his name slowly, pronouncing each syllable, "tries to hook up with me, and I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'll never live it down!"

"Well then there's nothing much you can do. You either hook up with whoever it is that's trying to cop a feelski, or you tell them to fuck off."

She plops down on the bed next to me and drums her fingers on her thigh. "There is one other thing we could do."

"Okay. What?"

Leaning over the side of the bed, Alice pulls out a black laptop computer. "Porn," she explains.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"I am nothing but serious, Bella." She lifts screen of the laptop and clicks it on. "We are going to watch some dirty and downright kinky porn, and take mental notes."

"That has to be the craziest thing you have ever come up with."

"I know. But it's so crazy, it might just work."

Alice Googles porn websites and choose one that looks promising. Once the site has loaded, she clicks on the very first link she sees.

"The door!" Alice shrieks just as two people start making out aggressively on the screen. "Go shut the door, Bell!"

I leap off the bed and fly over to the door, banging my leg against Alice's nightstand in the process. That's gonna leave a nasty bruise.

When I turn from the door, I see Alice, sitting pretzel-style on the bed with the laptop in her lap, a hand covering her mouth. "Look at this girl go!" she squeals.

On the screen a girl is shoving all of her partner into her throat. And I mean all of him. That takes some skill.

"Look at the way her wrist movements coordinate with her head bobs. Definitely take note of that," Alice says in a voice that reminds me of a professor.

I have to stifle a giggle as Alice moves one hand, up and down and back up, trying to imitate the girl's motions.

"Also," I say in the same hot teacher voice, "notice how she prefers to make sounds like 'ahhh' as opposed to sounds like 'arghh'. That is definitely much sexier, and much much much more feminine."

Alice nods vigorously. "You have quite the eye for these sorts of things, Miss Bella."

And then both of us are doubling over in laughter just as the guy shoots a load all over the girl's face. Talk about dotting her eyes. We laugh and giggle for what seems like hours, until we run out of air.

"That," Alice declares, pointing at the laptop where the couple are now going at it doggie-style, "never leaves this room."

"Agreed."

*************************************************************************************

Several coats of mascara and a few clothing changes later, Alice and I are climbing out of her window into the black night.

A silver Volvo is parked a few houses down from Alice's house, waiting for us.

When I open the door to the car, the blaring notes of "Bottom of a Bottle" by Smile Empty Soul come out, disturbing the quiet. Edward is sitting in the driver's seat, a cigarette hanging limply between his lips as he watches us climb into the limited space of the back seat.

He's wearing a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up over his thick arms. His bronze hair is the usual messy array, loose tendrils falling in his eyes. Seeing me appraising him, he runs a hand through his hair and smiles. So sexy.

Jasper is in the passenger seat, and Rosalie is sitting on Emmett's lap in the back seat. "Hello, ladies," she purrs, lifting her face from Emmett's neck for just a moment before diving back in.

Alice shuts the car door behind her, and Edward starts driving, the music still blasting:

I do it for the druuuuugs.
I do it just to feel aliiiiiiive.
I do it for the loooooove,
That I get from the bottom of a bottle.

I notice that all four members of the Fierce Foursome are mouthing the words to the song, and I can't help but laugh.

Emmett smiles and puts a hand on my knee, massaging it gently. "Like this song?"

"It's okay," I say sheepishly, trying to knock his hand away.

Rosalie picks her head up. "It's a ritual of ours," she explains. "Before we go party, we always jam to as many drug, alcohol, and sex-related songs as we can. Just for fun," she smiles.

"Bottom of a Bottle" switches to "Let's Get Fucked Up" by Start Trouble.

Let's get fucked uuuuup.
Give me a cup I'll drink 'til I get fucked uuuuup.
Alcohol my only friend.

Emmett starts to croon the lyrics loudly and rather suggestively into Rosalie's ear:

Driving around and I'm far from sober,
Looking for a hoe that I can bend over.
My friend's say I'm going nowhere fast,
But when I'm fucked up, I need some ass.
Boo boo booty call, let me inside some sugar walls
I ain't got shit to do in the morning,
FUCK THE SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING!

Edward starts laughing at his friend making a jackass out of himself, and the sound is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. And the way his eyes were all crinkled and squinting when he looked back at us. God, I almost dropped the lacy panties Alice insisted on right then and there.

"Turn the volume down!" Jasper shouts from the front seat. "Newton's calling me!"

Edward reaches a hand out to turn the volume down, just as Roger from Less Than Jake is singing:

And Mr. Plastic Cup Politics,
I see you're already under the influence
Of warm beer and the comfort of all your friends.

"Plastic Cup Politics"...these people have fantastic taste in music.

"Hello?" Jasper says into the receiver of his cell phone. "What do you mean, Newton?...What!?...Dude...I'm going to kick your ass...Fuck you...No...I don't know...You suck...Fuckkk...Fine, bye, you fucker."

"What did he say?"

Jasper groans. "Newton pussied out. Party's fucking canceled."

Emmett slams a fist against the window. Rosalie pouts. Edward blurts out a string of profanities and threats to Mike's well-being. Alice stares at Jasper.

I just sit there and take it all in.

"Fuck that shit," Emmett growls. "Edward, dude, drop me and Rose off at my crib. If there ain't a party, I'm going to take this woman to bed," he says, pinching Rosalie's ass.

"Fine," Edward sighs. "What are the rest of us going to do?"

"Do you still have that bottle of vodka, Edward?" Jasper asks.

"Yeah, dude. What're you thinking?"

"I'm thinking we sneak sweet Alice and Bella into my place and have a little party of our own."

We pull into a driveway that leads up to a huge brick house with a Jeep parked ahead of us. Edward stops the car and Rosalie peels herself off of Emmet, and the two get out. "Have fun boys and girls," Rosalie says with a wink in my direction. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." She shuts the door and the two of them go into the house.

That's when I realize that Alice has been quiet for far too long now. That is so unlike her. Maybe she's starting to regret her idea to get us "in" with the popular people. I guess she didn't expect it to be so fucking simple.

Who knew some tight jeans and a little bit of cleavage could be so powerful? We've managed to go from lesbian losers to sitting in the back of Edward Cullen's Volvo over the course of a day.

"Are you okay?" I whisper to Alice. She nods.

"Well, girls. How does some vodka in this jackass' basement sound?" Edward asks, turning to face us.

"Let's do it," I say at the same time that Alice says, "Fuck, yes."

I had fun with this one. I'm going to put the songs on my author bio thing, because they're all amazing. So, check 'em out!

Anyway, please please please rate this. The more ratings I get, the sooner the next chapter will be put up.

And trust me, it'll be good. I mean, it'll have vodka and Edward. How could it NOT be good!?

:)