Here is your chapter. I wanted to get it out yesterday for you, but that didn't work out to well, but here it is.

I do want to thank all of you have reviewed. I LOVE YOU GUYS! And thank you to all those who wished me luck and not to worry too much about not being able to find a job. I would also like to send a special thank you to redd4169, am sorry that I didn't respond to your review, but I got to say you are one lucky SOB if you got to meet rob 3 times! Maybe I should be a flight attendant. Hehe.

Anyways Read on, if you dare…


Chapter 13: And now I wish those nights would last

I remember when we used to laugh about nothing at all
It was better than going mad
From trying to solve all the problems we're going through
Forget 'em all
Cause on those nights we would stand and never fall
Together we faced it all
Remember when we'd

Stay up late and we'd talk all night
In the dark room lit by the TV light
Through all the hard times in my life
Those nights kept me alive

-Those nights by Skillet


After that day we went tree haunting, we had stopped by the store and bought some ice cream, not just for me, but also for everyone else, since we all kind of wanted some.

Edward didn't come back the rest of the day, but I was assuming that was because he was out with Seth or Kate. Kate, what was up with that? I feel like there is more going on then Edward just going to catch up with her and check on her to see how she is doing.

I'm not going to dwell on that too much anymore. Anything that has to do with Edward really has nothing to do with me.

I was in the kitchen trying to get dinner ready for everyone before they got here when I heard a knock on the door. As I approached the door, I looked through the peephole to see some familiar penny colored hair. Why was he here so early?

"Hey Edward" I opened the door up for him and let him in.

"Hey Bella" he walked inside the house taking off his jacket and wet muddy shoes.

"You know you are here early." I went back into the kitchen, Edward following me.

"Yeah, I know. I actually wanted to talk to you."

"Really? Talk to me, not growl or hiss like usual." I chided "You know, I am sick of riding this Roller coaster with you. One second you are up and fine with talking to me, then the next second you are down saying that you don't want to be my friend." I was moving about the kitchen pulling out sauces from the fridge and spices from the cabinets.

"That's what I kind of want to talk to you about." He ran his hand through his hair looking somewhat uncomfortable.

"I'm waiting" I continued pulling out things.

"I talked to Seth and a little bit to Kate, and they both told me that it is about time that I start moving on." He picked up a pen off the counter and started playing with it in his hands.

"Bella, I am in a really weird position right now in my life, and it never seems as if things ever go easy. I understand that things aren't easy for you either, but when I said that I didn't want to be your friend, I over reacted and I didn't really mean it. It would be great to be your friend again. It's going to take some time for me to be able to have things go back like that. But if I'm being honest with myself, one thing I do miss is talking to you." I kind of missed talking to him too but I really don't understand why he's always making all this seem like everything's harder for him then it ever was for me. I'm sure that this was as hard for me as it was for him, if not harder. He had been through a lot of shit and I get that, but I did too, plus I had to deal with all his high school shit from him and his buddies.

I stopped what I was doing and leaned up against the counter.

"I understand Edward, and it is difficult, but I know that it would make everyone happy to see that we can stand around each other but," I took a deep breath, "I don't know that I can ever really be your friend again after what you put me through." He started to nod his head and run his hand through his hair yet again, "As of right now the most I can be is a…acquaintance, I guess."

If I take baby steps to all this, maybe we could end up being friends again. Although I'm not entirely sure that will ever happen.

"As of right now, I will take it. All I ask is that we can be in the same room with no glares and snares, for right now."

"I'm not so sure that I can do that." I giggled a little, "I love being rude to you, it gives me something to do."

"As long as it's no physical abuse or too much emotional, you can be as rude as you want if it gets you to stay talking to me." He replied.

"Okay than"

"Since I am here early, do you want any help?" Edward asked after a few moments of silence.

"I think I can handle it by myself like I always do, but thanks."

"Just let me help you." Baby steps Bella, baby steps.

I nodded my head and Edward walked further into the kitchen.

"So, what would you like me to do?"

"See the French bread over on the island," I pointed towards the two loafs of bread on the island in the middle of the kitchen, "it needs to be sliced."

"I can do that." He grabbed the knife and began cutting while I put the tortellini into the boiling water and mixed up the marinara sauce with mushrooms.

"Have you picked out our classes for next term?" Edward asked as he neared the end of cutting the first loaf of bread and moved on to the second.

"Yes I have."

"Any good ones?"

"I'm taking a few, but the one I am looking forward to the most is my Darkroom Photography." I told him pulling out dishes from the cupboard.

"You still love photography?" he finished cutting the bread and was leaning against the counter.

"No, that is why I am taking photography classes." I said sarcastically rolling my eyes.

"That was a dumb question to ask wasn't it?" He smiled.

"Yep. But to answer your question, yes I do still love it. I stopped taking photos for awhile, but then when I started college, I picked it up again. It was been my stress reliever and when I take pictures, it really helps releases and expresses some of my pent up feelings that I have had." Little did he know that I stopped taking pictures after sophomore year. Every time I even picked up a camera, it would remind me of the past, and it hurt too much, but now, that is how I get my frustration out.

"That's good to here. I am glad that you still love it."

"Thanks"

"Bella? Where are you?" Emmett came in.

"We're in the kitchen!"

"We? Oh, hey man!" Emmett came into the kitchen and gave Edward a man hug, "You're here early."

"So I have been told. Here Bella, I am all done." He handed me a bowl that was covered in cloth and filled with the sliced French bread.

"Thank you. You can actually go set on the table along with these dishes and set them up." Edward took them a headed towards the table.

"How is it going?" Emmett asked as soon as Edward went into the other room and I started to drain the tortellini.

He was probably worried about what kind of exchange I had with Edward. I know that he's looking out for me, but I can take care of myself, and it annoys me that no one else can see that.

"Good." Emmett looked at me skeptically.

"Really Emmett, all we did is talk a little bit and we came to an understanding."

"I believe you" he sighed, "what are we having anyway?"

"Cheese filled tortellini, French bread, and a salad."

"Sounds delicious." He kissed my temple then went to the fridge and got out a drink for everyone.

One by one, everyone came in talking to each other at the table until dinner was fully ready.

At dinner it was surprisingly peaceful, no glares from Edward or me, or even snide remarks. We really didn't say all that much to each other anyway.

--

The next couple of days passed like they had at dinner, expect with the fact that Edward had started to talk to me a little more, and I would start talking to him to a little bit, a lot of the time using my greatest strength, sarcasm, but at least I was still talking to him.

Whenever we did talk, it never really got to be personal stuff or anywhere near past events. I guess he thought it was way too soon to talk about that, but that was fine with me, it was still giving me time to think about when and how I would approach the topic of my Bulimia.

Our conversations were always casual things, like when watching a TV show or movie, we would talk about it, or even talk about the weather. I hated talking about the weather that was always something you bring up when you cannot think of absolutely anything else to talk about. Kind of sad, I know.

I was starting to warm up to him a little, but it still never stopped me from throwing him my snide remarks every once in awhile like I said I would. At the end of the day though, after he left, Alice would always come up to me and ask if I told him, and I would always tell her the same thing. Soon.

I really did want to tell him and get it over with, but I couldn't. It was really driving me insane that I couldn't go up and just tell him, and let him deal with the guilt he deserves, I just couldn't.

"What game do you guys want to play tonight?" For the past few nights when everyone was over we would play a game. One night it was Apples to Apples, another night it was Taboo, now here is another night, and we can't really seem to think of anything.

"How about we play a game outside?" I suggested

"What? Bella, its freezing outside." Rose started to whine.

"So what why don't you grow a pair, plus I am pretty sure that Emmett will keep you warm."

"True." Rose shrugged and nestled closer to Emmett.

"Alright, but what game?" Jasper asked, Alice sitting on his lap.

"How about Ghost in the Graveyard?" Edward offered and I looked over at him.

"That does sound like fun." I agreed and he smiled at me.

"Looks like we are playing Ghost in the Graveyard, but I'm not it." Emmett shouted.

"I'll be it!" Edward offered holding up his hand and we all looked quizzically at him.

"What? I haven't played in years, and it sounds fun hiding somewhere while all you guys have to come look for me."

"Everyone go get your coats on and head outside." I said.

--

We had decided that our safe point would be the back of my truck. Once we find Edward we had to run back there and hop in before he tags one of us. We had decided to move the truck down the street a little ways to make it a little funner. I know that's not a word, but deal with it.

"One o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock rock, four o'clock, five o'clock, six o'clock, rock," we started chanting as Edward went to go hide, "seven o'clock, eight o'clock, nine o'clock rock, ten o'clock, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, MIDNIGHT!!" We all had shouted at the end and all split up to go find Edward.

I was alone walking around the yard, while Emmett went up the street a little bit with Rose, and Jasper and Alice went in the opposite direction. I couldn't help but look at all the Christmas lights that were hanging around on the houses around me and on ours as well. Emmett has always loved the multicolored lights, while now days I mostly see people use those white icicle lights. But Emmett liked being bold and different we even had a giant penguin on the roof that is holding a present and sways back and forth. I was the one to pick that out. I thought it was adorable, and it made me smile when I saw it. Emmett, thought differently, but still let me get it, not that I needed his approval anyway.

I was still making my way around the yard, and I couldn't see anyone or anything, I was about to turn and look elsewhere when I heard a noise. It was coming from the tree that we had in the front yard.

I slowly made my way towards the tree and looked around it, but I couldn't find anyone, so I turned and headed back, until I heard the noise again. Where the hell is that coming from? I made my way slowly back to the tree, and then I heard it again and stopped mid stride. The sound was coming from above me.

I slowly lifted my head to look up at the tree to see a giant black shape hiding up in the tree.

"GHOST IN THE GRAVE YARD! RUN! RUN! RUN!" I shouted so that everyone could hear, and booked it away from the tree as Edward jumped down out of it and started chasing after me.

He was directly behind me and I could feel his hand near about to touch me, so I took a sharp turn causing him to lose his footing and fall in the mud.

I stopped and turned to look at him and started laughing. The clumsy one wasn't the one to trip and fall this time; it was the one that was usually so graceful.

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you. I'm going to get you still." He slowly stood back up.

"You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man." I started to laugh some more.

"You still have a ways to run, so we will see what happens." then he came charging at me.

"Oh shit." I started to run again as fast as my legs could carry me. Then I saw it. Our safe point. I started to run even faster.

Getting closer and closer to the truck, I could see Alice and Jasper in it. They started to scream at me and tell me to run faster.

As I neared the truck I had reached out for it with Edward was right behind me, I could feel his hand so close to me about to touch me. Just then Alice and Jasper's hands reached out from the tuck and I grabbed on to them as the pulled me in away from Edward. He slammed into the side of the truck from going a fast speed, but didn't really hurt himself because he had put his hands out to stop him.

"Told…you…couldn't…Catch…me…" I said in-between breaths.

He took a couple of breaths and leaned his back against the truck.

"You know, this is only the first round."

"And you know that Rose and Emmett are still out there... If you are lucky you can scare them to death as they are making out." I told him as he started to chuckle.

"Good idea." He pushed himself off the truck and went off to look for the two horny animals.

The game went on like this for a few more rounds, after Edward scared the shit out of Rose and Emmett who were on the ground all over each other. Edward ended up tagging Emmett, because he was on top.

Eventually we did go inside and had some hot chocolate before everyone headed home. I teased Edward about me being able to outrun him, and he only said it was because he let me. He was so full of it at times. He couldn't handle the fact that I did outrun him.

That night I went bed fast and soundlessly. It was the best night I have had in a long time, even with Edward there.

FLASHBACK
sophomore year, before Doomsday.

EPOV

"Merry Christmas!" I shout as soon as Bella opens the door with a giant smile spreading across her face. She always has the best smiles. Whenever she smiles it really does light up a room, so I decide to give her my famous crooked smile that I know she loves.

"So are you going to let me in or am I supposed to stand out here in the cold." I tease her and a blush reaches her cheeks.

"Sorry" she moves to the side so that I can pass her and enter the warm house smelling the amazing aroma of cookies, and pie.

"It's alright, now is that your famous Swedish Wafers that I smell you baking?"

"Yes it is, I just finished them." She bounces off into the kitchen only to bring out a plate of white cookies that have a delicious sugar frosting in between two of them. These cookies are amazing. They melt in your mouth as you eat them. I take one and eat it slowly, savoring its sugary flavor.

"Are they good?" she asks and I nod my head enthusiastically.

"Did you get something for me?" She nods her head toward the present that I still have in my hands.

"Why would I get you a present? Maybe it's for Charlie." I begin to teas her.

"Fine, be that way, then you won't get your present." She crosses her arms and goes over to the living room to sit down on the couch.

"You got me something?"

"Yes I did, is it such a bad thing to get my friend a gift?"

"No, not at all." She smiles again at me with her big brown eyes, shinning brighter than all the Christmas lights surrounding the living room.

"Does your mom even know that you're here? Its Christmas eve, you should be with your family." Bella begins to play with the end of her shirt.

"Bella, you are just important to me as my family." She blushes and I can't help but reach out and touch her cheek. I don't know what I would do if I never see her blush again. It's just too magnificent.

"I love it when you blush." I tell her sincerely.

"I really hate it. It's annoying as hell. I wish it would go away, just like all this." She pats her stomach.

Just because she isn't as small as the rest of the anorexic girls in school doesn't mean she isn't as good looking at them. Bella always thinks of herself as fat, and she really isn't, she actually has curves, unlike other girls. I always thought of her as more belumptious than anything else. Plus it isn't the way that she looks on the outside that makes me like her so much; it is the inside of her, as cliché as that sounds, but true none the less. I love her for her personality and spunk, she can always make me laugh and smile even when I'm having one my bad days.

"Bella" I start to shake my head. She knows I hate when she talks down about herself like that.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I guess that should be my new year's resolution, not talking down about myself, but I can't help it if it's true."

"But it isn't true."

"Edward, you are my best friend, you are supposed to be nice to me, because if you weren't I would kick your ass, and you know it's true." I chuckle, and nod my head, but only if she knew that I really didn't want to be just her best friend.

"So Cullen, do want your gift first?"

"Sure, why not. Give me what you got." I place my present to her on the coffee table and lay my feet on the table as well, putting my hands behind my head and leaning back as she went over to the Christmas tree and pulls a gift out from under it.

"I hope you like it." She sounds shy as she hands me my finely wrapped Christmas present.

As I open the silver paper I'm left with a white box. I open it and sitting there nestled in tissue paper is a leather bound book, embed with golden elegant writing that said, "Découvrez-vous", meaning Discover yourself. Filled inside it are blank music note sheets, waiting to be filled with the little notes that come to my mind.

I love playing the piano, it's my life. Once I was taken in by Carlisle and Esme, the first thing I really noticed was this giant black grand piano that was sitting in a small room, off the living room all by itself, begging me to touch it. I went straight for it and started to play it. As soon as I hit one note, I felt warmth spread through me, this is what I need in my life. It's my way of expressing myself to everyone around me.

I had open the leather bound book and on the inside of the cover is a note in Bella's handwriting: "Life is like a piano... what you get out of it depends on how you play it."

I close the book back and let my hands trial the writing.

"Do you like it?" Bella questions a little uneasily.

"I love it, thank you." She smiles at me yet again. I do love it. It's one of the best gifts I could've asked for. That is unless she accepts my other gift that I have for her later. "Now, here is yours." I hand her the gift I got her.

I'm really hoping that she likes her gift. I personally think it's perfect for her. It's what she needs and wants. It wasn't easy at first finding her a gift, because she hates when people do buy her gifts, but deep down I know that this will be the best gift and that she will accept more easily than others. After all I want to make this Christmas one of the best she will ever have.

She starts to shake the box around a little bit.

"Its socks!" she cries out, but I know she's joking.

"Just open it."

"Fine grumpy gills."

She rips the paper off slowly, but as soon as she sees part of it, her eyes widen in astonishment and she rips the paper off faster.

"Oh my god Edward!" she squeals a little bit as she fully removes the shinny foil and looks at the box.

"I can't believe you got me a camera! And it's the one I wanted!" I got her one of those high digital cameras that is 25 mega pixels, and it came with a bunch of different types of lens that you can switch for different types of shots.

"Only the best for my best friend." I notice her eyes falter for a moment, but then she looks back at the camera and opens the box it taking out all the pieces for it.

"Wait a minute Edward. How did you afford this? Last time I recall it was almost four thousand bucks. Oh god, please don't tell me that is how much you paid for it." She places everything back into the box resentfully.

"Relax, Bella, I got it back on black Friday and because of that it was only about one thousand dollars instead of four." She still doesn't seem to sure.

"But Edward." She tries to rebut.

"Nuh-uh. It wasn't just me anyways. It was everyone, Alice, Carlisle, Esme, all of them."

She can't hold back her grin anymore as she pulls the camera back out and examines it.

She turns it on and snaps a picture of me, surprising me for a minute. She looks at the back screen and grins even wider.

"I really love it Edward." She leans forward to give me a quick peck on the check, and I feel my face heat up, but thankfully she doesn't notice. "Thank you. Can we go try this out?"

"Sure we can." We then spent a lot of the evening taking pictures inside and out, of each other preserving our memories. All too soon it got later and it's almost time for me to go.

"Hey kids, what are you up to?" Charlie asks us heading towards the front door.

"Look Dad. Edward got me a new camera!" she waves her camera around a little bit to show it off.

"That's great Bells."

"Hey, do you think you could take a couple pictures of both of us real fast?"

"Sure kiddo." He takes the camera from Bella's hands.

"Smile kids!" I stand right next to Bella with my arm around her shoulders, and before I know it she leans into me and gives me another peck on the cheek and then there is a flash.

Bella runs up and to take the camera from her dad.

"Thanks dad" and she gives him a peck on the cheek as well. How I wish that there could have been something more to that peck on the cheek to me then there really was. She seems to give everyone she cares about a small one.

"I'll be in soon to finish dinner."

"Okay Bells." Charlie heads inside after that and Bella runs back over to me.

"Hey Bella, come sit with me for a minute."

"Sure"

We walk over to a swinging bench that's tied to a giant oak tree. Just then it starts to snow.

"Wow, I can't believe it's snowing!" Bella reaches her hand out to catch a few snow flaks on her hand to watch it melt, as some landing in her dark, soft hair. She really does look beautiful, and I find it upsetting that she doesn't see herself that way.

"Bella, there is something that I want to tell you." I try to keep my voice firm and strong and avoid it from being shaky.

"What is it?" her big brown eyes peering into my green ones.

I take both her hands in mine.

"Bella-"

"Bella!" Son of a bitch.

"Yeah dad?" She calls back.

"Your mother is on the phone."

"Okay! Sorry Edward, but I should get that, you know how Renee is." She says softly and I my heart falls for a moment.

"Yeah, I should probably get going too. Esme is probably wondering where I am." I run my hand through my hair a couple times.

"Okay then" she lets out slowly. "I guess I'll see you later?" She pushes herself up from the bench.

"Yeah….Later" she runs towards the house while I stay sitting there.

I want to tell her so badly and it has already taken me a lot of courage to do it right here. I spent months trying to build up the courage and I still don't have enough of it just to shout it out to her as she runs into the house.

This may be a sign telling me that maybe Bella doesn't feel the same way about me. Maybe she really only sees me as a friend, and I really don't want to ruin our friendship by telling her how I feel and not have her return my feelings.

I can't tell myself that. I have to do it one day or it's going to drive me insane forever. One day I will have enough strength and courage just too finally blurt it out and tell her that I'm in I love her. I have been since that day at the park so long ago.

I'm in love with the amazingly wonderful, Bella Swan.

End Flashback


Thank you again to all those who reviewed. This chapter was supposed to be longer, but I can't type anymore, because I have to go help with the Christmas dinner. Sorry for any errors, when I have time, I will go back and fix the ones that I notice.

I want to wish you all A Merry Christmas, for those of you who celebrate it, and Happy Holidays! Hope you guys all have a great day!

Next chapter will be up as soon as I can put it up. And guess what, they are going to play twister. Hehe.