Author's Note: Re-edit. I'm embarrassed at how much editing I've had to do, but I have no Beta, and writers suck at editing their own work. This chapter in particular sucked major ass, but it's all fixed now.

I apologize to all of those Remus/Hermione shippers out there. They're a cute couple, but J.K. Rowling basically portrayed Remus as a pussy in his Hogwarts days. And, after all, nice guys sleep alone. Remember that, kids.

"You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Really." James shrugged in response and threw himself down on the warm grass of the grounds.

Sirius, standing at his side, looked unconvinced. "You've been as twitchy as a kappa on dry land these past few days- don't bullshit me."

"Oh? I'm sorry," Remus replied distantly, his eyes listless as they watched the giant squid's tentacles play along the surface of the lake.

"I think you're working too hard," the handsome boy continued condescendingly, his expression and manner serious. His chest puffed up with confidence and his hips swayed as he paced a small area around the group of close friends, amusing James to no end. On the other side of the lake, a few girls sighed and giggled with appreciative glances.

"You've got an answer to everything, don't you?" Potter laughed. The lanky quidditch player took his well-damaged glasses off the bridge of his nose and began to polish them on Peter's robe. Sirius cast his best friend an innocent glance.

"Of course I do. I'm the infallible son of a pureblood."

"Well, I think he's got a crush." Remus snapped out of his reverie and turned to give James a hard look.

"I do not."

"You think so?" Sirius asked, completely bemused. Why hadn't he thought of that?

"He's been acting like a kicked puppy ever since he went to find that Harpy girl…"

"Hermes. And I don't-"

"Oh, you see? He's all defensive about her- it's positively adorable." James chuckled.

"I didn't think Moony was interested in witches," Sirius muttered thoughtfully.

"Excuse me?" Remus looked taken aback.

"Mm, I was beginning to think he was into 'bed knobs and broomsticks', if you catch my drift. Just a late bloomer, I suppose." Peter, silent and hiding at James' side, choked. Lupin looked equally shocked and embarrassed, his scarred fingers gripping the edges of his robe tightly.

"Do you suppose he'll make a move?"

"N-now wait a minute, hold on. You're misunderstanding," Remus finally spoke, squirming like an awkward child. James and Sirius rarely ever picked on him like this- he was usually safe from their meddling and overbearing ways. "I'm responsible for her, that's all. It's a purely platonic interest." Sirius leaned against the tree and cocked an eyebrow at that, posing casually as a group of third years passed close by.

"I thought you were just supposed to keep an eye on her, not take care of her."

"You haven't seen her, have you?" He replied as if that explained everything. "Dumbledore says she's been through a lot…"

"And I'm supposed to care? About some scarred-up chick that can't take care of herself? I don't do pity cases."

"Posh. You'll do anything that moves." James interjected. Pettigrew chuckled again, quietly and briefly.

"In any case, Moony, we want you to know that we're here for you."

"And that by the end of the week, we promise you'll be banging this witch like it's a full moon. We've got your back." Remus turned scarlet, looking irritated and thoroughly embarrassed. The boy picked up his books, muttering something about Prefect duties, and started a brisk pace back towards the school.

"He's getting a backbone. I'm not sure how to feel about that," Sirius sighed, sliding down the tree's trunk and sprawling out on the grass. James settled his head on the boy's knee and gazed up at the browning leaves above.

"I'm worried about him." Potter sighed softly, a deep fondness in his voice. "He hasn't liked a girl before like this. If she rejects him, he might not recover."

"You're giving this girl too much credit. It's hard to hurt Remus; he's too genuine and honest to be cruel to. A little crush like this isn't all that complicated to understand and work, Padfoot. They just need a push in the right direction."

"And you, the expert on matters of the heart, want to give them a good push?" James chuckled.

"Don't you?"

"Naturally."

Hermione sat in her now usual place in the library, quietly bent over a small piece of paper. Natural light fell through the glass windows of the room and revealed that her pale skin looked a little less drawn against her cheekbones, even holding a small semblance of color. The dark circles beneath her soft eyes were less prominent than usual, too.

I'm not crazy. It's my eyesight. A soldier can't think or fight properly if they don't take care of themselves. It's my eyes, not my mind. After all, Remus didn't go to Hogwarts. Or did he? But he didn't attend school with Harry, that's just ridiculous. Isn't it?

Her left hand moved carefully over the parchment, scratching in her address and billing information with a simple quill. The handwriting wasn't quite up to her standards, but it was the best she could do. Every day she became a little better at using her left hand and a little better at hiding her right one from curious eyes.

"Style of glasses?" she whispered to herself. "The largest, most unassuming frames you've got…please."

A few minutes later she stood and stretched outwards, the tiniest of smiles on her face. For the first time in a very long time, things felt like they were going right.

Sirius Black stood by a collection of 14th century potions journals and glanced casually at Hermione, wondering if she was the 'Hermes Graingier' he was looking for. The girls in the Gryffindor common room had looked a little sour when he'd asked about the new transfer student, and they'd just pushed him off towards the stuffiest corner of Hogwarts' library.

But there she was- a thin, sharp looking girl hiding among enormous stacks of stuffy volumes and parchments full of what he assumed to be notes. His grey eyes looked her up and down in a quick assessment. Self-conscious, lonely, and completely without a sense of humor.

For a moment the boy pondered whether it was worth trying to set Remus up with this strange girl. Moony could do so much better, he thought. But there again, it was Remus' choice and not his own, and he had to respect that.

As Hermione stuffed her order form in an envelope, an idea occurred to Sirius. His lips curled upwards in a self-satisfied grin as he moved quickly out of the library and down the hall towards the Great Hall. Remus, as he had predicted, was patrolling the lunchtime crowd with an intense seriousness. Sirius moved into step beside him casually, almost surprising his friend.

"Oh? Something wrong?" Remus asked.

"Quite the opposite, actually. You need to go up to the owlry immediately."

"What did you do?"

"No, no trouble. Hermes Graingier is sending a letter off, and I thought you might lend her the use of your owl. School owls can be such a hassle…" Remus looked thoughtful, but before he could protest the idea, Sirius was pushing him out the door.

"You know the way there. Go."

"Hold still!" Hermione had been trying to tie her envelope to the leg of an old barn owl for the past five minutes, but the owl seemed more intent on sleeping than delivering letters. It wiggled out of her grasp and nipped at her fingers as she approached. "I'll hex you if you don't stop," she sighed.

"There's no need for that. You can use mine, if you prefer."

I've lost my mind.

Unable to move and unable to breathe, Hermione let the envelope in her hand slip from her fingers. There was a ghost behind her.

"Hey…a-are you alright?" It breathed nervously. There was a trembling in its voice, full of fear and uncertainty. "I'm sorry. I startled you again, didn't I?" The ghost spoke hurriedly, trying to make up for the thick silence in the air. Hermione refused to turn around. "We must have gotten off on the wrong foot. I'm Remus Lupin. We're, ah, in the same house, you know."

Don't say you're sorry. It wasn't your fault.

"Y-yes, anyways, owls. I mean, for your letter. Prometheus, my horned owl, is just over there in that niche by the owl treats. He's, ah, great with packages as well. Should you ever need to send one."

I lost my mind. I fucked up. I lost my mind and I fucked up.

"I've got Prefect duties now, so I'm afraid I can't stay long. But if there's anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to find me. Please."

God, it's good to hear his voice again.

After a few moments of silence, the door to the owlry clicked shut. Hermione jumped at the sound and turned. There was nothing there. The ghost was gone. Prometheus cooed as the young witch approached curiously and rubbed its head against the tips of her trembling fingers. She couldn't help but feel her thoughts stirring, putting together a puzzle with the final piece. And the longer she thought about it, the more it made sense.

Prometheus wiped his sharp beak against the side of her hand, confused and obviously waiting for some letter or package to be tied to his thick leg. Hermione stroked his dark feathers soothingly, trying to settle the pounding of her weak heart.

I think I remember now. This is the year after…no, before, it's the year before the founding of the Order of the Phoenix. And Harry never mentioned when his father and friends had gone to school here. I can't believe this is so hard to piece together. He hated talking about it, that I do remember. Something…something about the memories in Snape's pensieve really affected him. And the map- I think it was the Marauding Map, or something like that. But for me to end up here with them, that would be too cruel to be true.

Right?

Right.

"Hey, Hermes."

"...hey, Justin." She answered, forcing her voice to be meek and quiet.

I am so sick of this already.

Her potions partner set a number of supplies and utensils beside their cauldron before looking back at her. He was smiling, as an adult might smile at a nervous child. Hermione wanted to smack that look off his face.

"F-first step?" she asked, as if she hadn't been paying attention. As if she hadn't made this sleeping potion a thousand times before. As if I was stupid. Justin looked as if he expected this.

"Okay, we need to put in an ounce of wormwood. I'll chop it up, so don't worry about that. Then you put…" He guided her through the steps again, one at a time. She watched him with boredom as he recited the instructions she already knew by heart. Hermione's mind began to wander, imagining ghosts and horned owls and pensieves.

"…and then we stir for five minutes in a counter-clockwise motion. I'll bottle it up after that, okay?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah." On the other side of the classroom voices started to rise and carry in the dungeon's echo. Justin perked up immediately.

"Watch it, asshole."

"You watch it. I'm sick of your attitude, Avery."

"Looks like a fight," Justin muttered. "Stupid Slytherins, can't keep to themselves during double potions. Hang on, Hermes. I'll be right back."

Avery? I know that name, right? Sounds familiar.

Her partner and a number of other Gryffindors moved to surround the ruckus, cheering on a potential fight. Hermione's bandaged hand moved to brush the designated chopped wormwood into the cauldron, but she paused. Instead, she slyly reached around it, ready to knock a small basket of rat tails into the frothing mixture.

"No, darling. You had it right." A hand quickly grabbed her own, curling over the area where her missing fingers should have been. "Put the wormwood in first." Her entire body jumped and tensed at the touch. Afraid to turn around, Hermione bowed her head in mock embarrassment.

"S-sorry," she apologized.

"Did I frighten you?" David asked, amusement resounding in his rich voice. The hand on hers slipped away slowly, as if relishing the touch, and the boy moved to her side. Hermione shook her head, clutching the area over her heart fiercely.

My heart is pounding…

"No," she lied. Her fingers preoccupied themselves with readjusting her hair into a tighter bun, trying to keep herself from clenching her fist and popping the bastard in the face.

"It seems as if you're missing the finer points of potion making. I'd be more than willing to help you study." David grinned and ran his own fingers through his dark blonde hair. Hermione opened her mouth to spit back a comment, but she didn't get the chance.

"The hell do you want, Starlan? Hermes, is this guy bothering you?" Justin called out, walking back from the scattered and disappointing 'fight'. The fiery look in her eyes fell into one of practiced helplessness- the innocent, victimized little girl.

"I'm fine." She replied weakly, turning from David's side. The Slytherin prefect was laughing at her now, utterly amused by her pathetic attempt at acting. One of his thin fingers hooked beneath her chin and forcibly turned her gaze back to him.

"I'll see you around, Graingier." Justin cocked an eyebrow at the situation, but said nothing. Hermione's face burned with fury as she turned her concentration fully on the cauldron before her.

"What did you say came after wormwood?"

It was late. The enchanted candles lighting the dusty, dark bookcases of the library were growing dim and melting fast. Beads of wax dripped and hung suspended in the air above the heads of a few tired students. Hermione dozed at her back table, her head resting between a thick volume titled Reviewing Arithmancy and a small, leather-bound collection of journals simple marked XIII. A number of other books dotted the table, some untitled, some covered in stains that looked mysteriously like blood.

Someone came around the corner and paused. Hermione tensed, fingers on wand, waiting for the stranger to pass.

"Are you alright?"

Oh.

She picked her head up and wiped the sleep from the corners of her eyes. Remus Lupin avoided her eyes, obviously nervous. A trickle of laughter escaped Hermione's throat, her lips twisted up in the strangest of smiles. Hysterical, almost. Remus squirmed beneath the force of her gaze. He was taller than she remembered. But Remus always did slouch. And his hair had no grey in it; it was entirely brown, soft, and thin. His eyes held more life in them. There were less scars on his face and hands, and Hermione imagined there were less claw marks on his abdomen and legs. Self-inflicted wounds from those awful full moon nights.

It was him- no doubt about it. Younger, though. Stranger. Hermione had braced herself for this moment. Her voice wavered only minimally as she spoke.

"I'm fine."

"The library is closing soon. I'm supposed to be ushering the students out now."

"That all?"

"…no. I've been meaning to check up on you."

"I'm fine." She repeated, her words strained with annoyance. Remus looked at her blankly, unsure of what to do. "I'm in the middle of something important."

"Oh." The young prefect nodded in understanding, still rooted to the spot, not wanting to move.

"Do you like to be bothered when you study?" she sighed, looking back to her books.

"S-sorry, yes. I mean, no. Ah, I'll see you later."

"So you can bother me some more? Fantastic." Lupin flinched as if he'd been smacked and immediately turned on his heel to leave. Hermione casually opened a book and pretended to read, forcing down the bile rising in her throat.

If you only understood. My God, if I could only tell you. But you can't know me, Remus.

An attractive young wizard leaned against the doorway of an empty classroom, his grey eyes dark as they watched her every move. This was the third time that week alone she had gone to Dumbledore's office, requesting to see the headmaster as if she were a close friend of his. But Professor Dumbledore was out on Ministry business and wouldn't be back for at least a few days more.

"There's something strange about it." Sirius sighed.

"What? Going to see Ol' Albus? You've gone in there plenty of times- stop being paranoid, you twit." James sighed as he stretched out on a handful of empty desks.

"I don't go voluntarily."

"Can we stop this stalking business for now? I'm hungry."

"…fine."

Lily watched with a sad smile as Remus picked languidly at the food on his plate. James, Sirius, and Peter were too busy sharing dirty jokes and pointing out pretty girls to notice that Moony was getting worse every day.

"You know, I'm sure she doesn't hate you as much as you think."

Bright eyes looked up, filled with hope and sadness. The eyes of a child. "You've spoken to her?"

"No, I've never seen Hermes talk to anyone." Lily shook her head gently, her red hair spilling over her shoulders.

"Why does she hate me so much?"

"I don't know, love. But things are rough for her. She's a transfer, she's all alone, she's disabled, and most of the girls at Hogwarts despise her…"

"What?"

"They're jealous of her. Sirius asks about her often, and I've even seen him follow her sometimes." Remus looked over at the young Black with sweet curiosity.

"He's been following her?"

"I think you're the closest thing she has to a friend, Moony." Lily added, ignoring his question. It never did well to question the things Sirius Black did in his spare time.

"She looks at me like I'm a monster," the Prefect sulked.

"Hm. Maybe it isn't my place to say, but she talks about you in her sleep." The tired-looking boy perked up immensely, nearly spilling his goblet of pumpkin juice.

"What does she say?"

Lily shrugged uncomfortably. "She mutters your name, but it's hard to hear what else she says. I've heard her mention ghosts a few times, but she usually jumps awake at that point. Hermes rarely stays in the dormitory anymore- she has nightmares like that every night."

Remus smiled and stood; Lily still looked uncomfortable, wondering if she'd said the right thing. She'd only wanted to make him feel better.

"Thank you," he said. "I'll see you later."

"Good evening."

"Mm." Hermione replied brusquely, not bothering to glance up.

"I, ah, heard you've been having some problems with potions lately…" Her face was soft and tired, Remus noticed. She almost looked as haggard as he did.

"Not really."

The young wizard forced his gaze from her face and began to notice the books she had stacked around herself like a fortress. Introduction guides to seventh year potions and charms lay haphazardly around the table, their open pages discreetly covering the titles of the others. I must be seeing things, he thought with a laugh. I swear I've seen some of those ragged covers in the Restricted Section.

When the silence had gone on long enough between them, Hermione sighed dramatically and raised her head to give him an even stare. Her messy curls of brown hair framed her face perfectly as it quivered slightly with the movement. It was an unusual sight, seeing her hair out of its tight, no-nonsense bun, and it made her look young and girlish.

"What can I help you with, Lupin?" her voice was forcibly flat and short. Remus flinched at this. The witch's brown eyes softened in guilt, but the boy didn't notice- he was too busy staring at the ground.

"J-just wanted you to know that if you need help with potions, or anything at all, I'd be glad to lend a hand."

"That all? Jesus, you're really making a habit out of interrupting me. Is it as fun for you as it is for me?"

"Oh. Yes, sorry. I mean, no. Sorry. Right." The boy was beaten now. 0 for Remus, 2 for Hermione. "O-okay. Have a good night." He slipped out so silently that Hermione didn't even hear the library door shut. Wiping away her unshed tears with a robe sleeve, the young witch returned to her work.

Halloween.

The day of costumes, candy, tricks, and wild excesses of magic. The day Hermione was to finally see Dumbledore and request to leave Hogwarts. The day everything went terribly, terribly wrong. Hermione sat unmoving outside the enchanted entrance of Dumbledore's office. He wasn't there yet- some prankster had let loose a number of pixies and bewitched pumpkins in the dungeons. But she had no intentions of leaving that spot until the headmaster arrived.

I can't stay here anymore. It wouldn't matter if it were anyone other than them, than him. It's unfair.

Sirius and James, as they had gotten accustomed to, lounged in the empty classroom nearby, watching her curiously.

"Really, you'd think she'd be hungry by now. She's been sitting there since the crack of dawn," James yawned. Surrounded by a number of candy wrappers and books, the lanky seeker was playing a game of solitaire.

"There's something…not right about that girl. I can't place my finger on it." Sirius looked out the window and wondered what time it was. There were a hundred better things and people he could have been doing. So why wasn't he doing them? He wasn't sure himself.

"Look, I know you're all sure she's hiding something. I think you just can't get over the fact that she's making Remus miserable."

"He won't even tell us what's going on. All he does is mope around more every day. It's got to be her."

"Please, Sirius. She's a woman- they're born to make men miserable."

"I'll be sure to tell Lily you said that." James chuckled at that, throwing his cards aside in boredom.

"She knows perfectly well how cruel she can be."

"I think we should talk to her."

"Oh? Finally deciding to go to the source instead of sneaking around like an idiot?" Sirius blushed slightly; James was right.

"Let's do it after the banquet tonight. I'm so fucking bored with this, and I bet Lily's wondering where we've gotten off to."

"Alright, tonight then."

Hermione dozed against the wall where she'd been sitting all day. Dusk cast a rosy glow through the glass windows of the hallway, illuminating lazy dust particles as they floated through the still air. A few pictures yawned and stretched in their frames, no longer paying any attention to her. Her stomach growled loudly and her head felt light, reminding her that eating was not an optional event. The muscles and joints all through her body groaned and begged to be moved. Hermione's long, messy hair was coming down from its bun, and her soft brown eyes felt incredibly dry.

Footsteps approached from down the long corridor, barely registering in her hazy mind. With everyone running around and preparing for the night's festivities, nobody had paid her any mind all day.

Fingers touched her forearm lightly, causing her to stir. Her eyes squinted open to find a familiar face only inches from her own, looking concerned and a bit frightened. A shock of enormous proportions jolted through her body, electrifying every inch of skin and kicking her insides. She squirmed and wrenched herself away from him, blinking hard with the effort of waking up.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! You looked so lifeless, I thought-" he tried to spit out hurriedly, stumbling back from her. Hermione coughed and choked for a moment, her throat raw as she tried to speak. She looked almost green, doubtlessly ill, and Remus cautiously approached her again.

"DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!" she cried out in panic, raising her bandaged hand as if to hold him back. There were so many other things she wanted to say, other ways to tell him she was okay, that he couldn't be near her, but it all came out the wrong way in a surge of fear. Her wide eyes stared at him, still trying to focus and register as her head reeled from panic and low blood sugar.

Lupin imagined her reading his soul, touching every secret, telling him that she knew exactly what he was. Hermione's cry resounded in the quiet hall; pictures crowded into nearby frames to see what all the fuss was. Teary-eyed and full of shame, Remus Lupin scrambled to his feet and took off down the hall.

"Goddamn it!" Hermione cried through gritted teeth. Her fingers dug into her hair and pulled harshly in frustration, crushing her bandages against the open flesh of her hand.

I can't wait for Dumbledore a second longer. I can't stay here anymore! You fucking idiot, Hermione. You absolute fool.

Remus burst into the Gryffindor common room, wiping away the tears that had escaped his sorrowful eyes. His mouth quivered with the force of trying to hold it all in. The rest of the Marauders noticed immediately and pulled him aside from the crowd of rowdy Gryffindors around them.

"Moony?" James asked quietly. "Moony, what's wrong?" Remus shook his head miserably and slipped to the ground weakly.

"You can't go on like this any longer. We're your friends, Moony- there isn't anything you can't tell us."

"…she knows." He whispered, burying his head into the palms of his hands.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius' deep voice asked soothingly.

"Hermes," came Remus' muffled voice.

"What exactly does she know?" James asked, mirroring Sirius' tone.

"She knows what I am. Goddamn me, she knows," he moaned, his tears threatening to spill furiously down his scarred face. James looked down at him thoughtfully as Sirius knelt and rubbed his back comfortingly.

"You're just stressed, Moony. You imagine things like this sometimes." Remus looked up and wiped away at the tears that traced lines down his drawn face. His eyes were hard.

"No, not this time."

"If she does know, which I doubt," James chimed in, "would she tell anyone?"

The young werewolf gripped at his face in frustration. "No, I'm her only friend. That's so sad, isn't it? Her only friend, a bloody werewolf…"

"Hey!" Sirius barked. "Don't talk like that. You're a good man, Moony!"

"I'm not a man, Padfoot." Remus sighed darkly. The exhausted young man pushed himself up off the ground and left quickly for the sanctuary of his dormitory room. The other Marauders watched him go in silence.

"What if he's right?" Sirius asked.

"We got Snivellus to shut up, right? Maybe we can swear Hermes to silence as well."

James whistled to himself, running a hand through his messy black hair. "That's a shame, you know. The only people besides us and Dumbledore who know are Shit Eaters…"

Sirius stopped breathing for a moment. "What?" he hissed.

"Bollocks, I wasn't going to tell you. I knew you'd take all this the wrong way, because now you're going to think about your family and all the crazy shit they do…"

"What the fuck are you talking about? Get to the point, James."

"That break in at the Department of Mysteries, you heard about that."

"Yeah, sure."

"That was her. At least, that's what I've heard."

"Are you serious?" he asked in disbelief. That miserable, slip of a girl that haunted the library had broken into one of the most secure areas of the wizarding world?

James nodded solemnly. "It makes sense, if you consider everything. And she's awful close with David Starlan. Justin was telling me how cozy they get in double potions."

Sirius stood suddenly and started a brisk walk towards the hallway.

"Where are you going?" James asked nervously. Sirius' face was completely blank, all the emotion in it carefully hidden.

"Just going to check something out. Be back later."

James frowned at his best friend. "That means you're not coming back until morning! Damn it, Padfoot, don't do something stupid!"

Time is a cruel thief to rob us of our former selves. We lose as much to life as we do to death.

-Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey

Author's Note: What is Sirius going to do? Is Hermione in danger? Is it even possible for things to turn out okay after all this mess? Find out next in Black at Heart!

All reviews and comments are adored!