Okay, I have done it, here is the new chapter for you guys, and guess what I was actually able to put it out on a Sunday! Go me.
I would like to dedicate this chapter to all of you have reviewed. Thank you all so much! I just love reading the reviews.
Another note, when you read this chapter, listen to some sad songs or something, trust me it will make it sound a lot better if you do.
ETA Aug 27th: Hey you guys, I made some changes in this chapter, and I may go do it again, nothing to big, just a few details that's all. Also I tried to catch as many errors as possible. Give me a couple of days and I'll more than likely be doing it again.
Anyways, read on, if you dare
Chapter 18: Fight inside
Enemy
Familiar friend
My beginning and my end
Knowing truth
Whispering lies
And it hurts again...
"Bella? Bella? Please tell me that Edward's there." Alice was talking really fast and I could tell that she was really worried.
"No, Alice, he isn't. Isn't he there with you?"
"No he isn't Bella, god, he is gone!" she was starting to cry.
Oh no.
"Alice, are you sure he's gone? Have you even tried to get hold of him?"
"Yes I have. He's not answering his phone at all and he was supposed to meet me here like two hours ago." She was really panicking and I didn't know what to do.
"Alice, I don't know how to help you. To be honest I don't want to talk to him." I told her flatly.
"Bella what happened? What did you do?"
"WHAT DID I DO?!" I screamed into the phone sure that I had caused her to go deaf in one ear." Alice don't you dare fucking think that I drove him away, he ran away from me! Twice!"
"Bella, what the hell happened?"
"I'll tell you what happened; he kissed me and then left! He left me! And then I went to the bathroom and puked. I was so afraid that I was retorting back to old habits so I called someone."
"Who, Bella? Who did you call because it sure in hell wasn't one of us?" She was really pissed off and yet extremely worried.
"Felix" I whispered but I knew she heard me.
"Why?"
"Because Alice, he was the only person I could think of at the moment, that wouldn't start to judge me for everything. Also he doesn't know about my bulimia and if he does, because of his brother, he showed no signs of it. I could talk to him a little bit easier without getting yelled at or something, but if I called you guys and told you about Edward and I kissing and then me throwing up all you guys would blow everything up. All I wanted to do at that moment was give Edward space and let him think while I had someone to talk to and distract me from going back to the toilet."
"You still haven't told me the rest." She was demanding to know everything.
"Fine, I was talking to Felix and he kissed me, and I guess Edward saw and drove off speeding away like a bat out of fucking hell."
"Oh shit, oh shit," Alice repeated, rambling. "Bella, this isn't good, we have to find him!"
"Alice, I don't know what to do!"
"Please, Bella. You have to help me find him. God knows what he could be doing right now." I have never heard Alice so frightened in her life, it was making me a little scared as well.
"Alice, you should call Seth."
"Good idea, but I still need your help. He could be anywhere out there, please?"
"Fine Alice, I'll help you find him, but I'm going to tell you now, that if I find him I'm going to tear him a new one." I was still so pissed off at what he had done to me, so my anger was controlling any other possible feelings that I could feel right now.
"Fine, just get your ass out and look for him!" She hung up on me after that and I was left to start this journey on my own.
I looked at the clock as it read 12 am.
I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs with my cell phone in my hand and Emmett's keys in the other. There was no way I was going to take my truck, it couldn't go over 45 miles an hour, and I had a feeling that I was going to have to go faster than that.
"Bells? What's going on?" Emmett called from the top of the stairs.
"Edward's missing. I got to go!"
Without another word I left.
/&/
"He isn't at the bar." I told Alice over the phone after I left The Hideout, one of the most popular bars in Seattle.
"Well he isn't at Havana either!" Alice cried.
We all had been out searching for Edward for a little over an hour now at all these bars, clubs, and pretty much anywhere we thought he may have been.
We haven't called Carlisle or Esme though; afraid that something bad would happen if we did, like them calling Charlie and having him out searching for Edward. Alice didn't think it would be the best idea at the moment, because if we did find Edward, we knew he would freak out seeing everyone while he is more than likely a mess, and if he was doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing, Charlie could lock him up.
"Don't worry Alice. He may be over at Kate's. Emmett's on his way over there now to see if Edward's there," I tried to reassure her. Emmett was the only one who knew where Kate lived because he had to drop Edward off there that one time.
If Edward wasn't there, I don't know where he could possibly be. I tried to think so hard of all the places he would go to sulk in his own misery.
That's when it hit me.
"Alice, I think I know where he may be if he isn't over at Kate's."
"Where?!" she asked urgently.
"You remember that old park that we used to go to all the time back in Forks?"
"Yeah"
"Meet me there if he isn't over at Kate's." I hung up the phone after that and pressed on the gas making my way to Forks.
/&/
I was outside of Forks when my phone started going off. Looking at the caller ID I noticed that was Emmett calling.
"Is he there?" I was really hoping that Edward was, because, to be honest, I didn't want to be the one to find him.
"No," Emmett let out slowly.
"That's what I thought," I sighed.
"Bella, there's something I need to tell you," he voice sounded really anxious.
"What is it Emmett?" I asked with the same tensed tone.
"God, I don't know how to say this…"
"Just tell me Emmett."
"Kate, she uh…she has a kid."
"I know Emmett. She's pregnant - that happens." I was irritated by his stupidity at the moment.
"No… God, Bella. No." He took a deep breath and finally said, "This is an actual little girl. It's not Kate's."
What I fear
What I try
The words I say and what I hide
All the pain
I want it to end
But I want it again
That's when it all hit me - Edward always going over to Kate's place every fucking Friday. The conversation we had in the morning with him telling me that he needed Esme's help, because Kate couldn't take care of something for him anymore because she was having her child. Then there was and the journal I read a bit of when I went to his place - talking about some girl named Alexis. Alexis. That was her.
"What?" My breath was caught in my throat just begging to escape.
"Yeah, fuck, I am so sorry Bella." My throat finally unclog letting air run in and out, but was going too fast. I was starting to hyperventilate.
"I'm gonna kill him," Emmett growled lowly, but I wasn't really paying attention to him. I was trying hard to regain control of my breathing, while keeping a steady hand on the steering wheel.
"Are you okay?" Emmett's concerned voice rung in my ear.
No, I wasn't. How could I be 'ok' right now? I just found out that Edward had a fucking kid for Christ's sake. It explains why Edward didn't let Emmett help him over into the house that one day. He didn't want Emmett to find out that he had a little girl that runs around his feet.
I took a moment before I could finally answer him.
"No, but I can't do anything about it now can I?"
I need to forget this now. Alice needs us to her cousin and if I keep focusing on this, I may end up driving over a cliff.
"Did you call Alice?" I asked trying to get back to the real reason I was in Forks.
"Yes." Emmett replied.
"Then I take it you are heading over to the park?"
"Yes, we should be there soon. Where are you?"
I hadn't really realized that as I was hearing all this new information, my brain was on auto pilot and I was sitting in a parking spot at the Forks town Park.
"I'm here."
It was dark and the only light was a lamp post that stood along the side walk casting dark disfigured shadows where ever the light went. The moon was hidden behind dark clouds and you could barely make out a faint its glow through the clouds. I could faintly make out the shape of the old jungle gym and swing set that held so many memories.
I tossed my phone on the passenger seat after hanging up on Emmett and ran my hands over my face and through my hair. My brain was slowly processing everything, yet again.
How could I have been so stupid?! Of course he would have been so damn stupid to knock up some girl.
No, not some girl. Tanya.
I couldn't handle that thought. The thought of him rubbing and grinding against that sick slut, making her moan and yelp in pleasure.
I started to rip my hair out of the top of my head and screamed as more images of the two of them in a dark room on a bed ran through my head - nothing but moans of pleasure feeling that room.
He never loved you. Never has and never will. The girl in my head sneered.
"Shut up. I don't love him either why should I care?"
But you do. It irks you knowing that he has had hands all over her, but wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole.
"Stop it." I pleaded to her.
Maybe that's why he stopped kissing you.
"Please?"
We aren't good enough for him. You aren't her.
"SHUT UP!" I screamed thrashing around in the car banging my hands across the steering wheel in complete and total frustration and rage wanting to hurt something or someone, take out everything that I have held in me.
As soon as I was done ripping things apart and banging up the inside of the car I took I few heavy deep breaths- sounding like a raging bull - then it came. The fluids in my stomach felt like water bubbling up, boiling. Slowly the burning moved up inside my body as if Satan's hot hand clawing at my throat and into my mouth.
I opened the car door and vomited on the ground as it splashed everywhere. This did nothing to calm me at all. It simply made me angrier. He was seriously making me do this to myself again. I can't believe it!
I jumped out of Emmett's jeep avoiding the steaming pile of puke on the ground and slammed the car door so fucking hard that I was surprised that the window didn't shatter. That just egged me on even more. I wanted it to shatter in pieces just like I have. I wanted to be ruined inside and out, like I was.
I started to kick the door hard leaving giant dents in the side of it, over and over again - each dent deeper than the next. Emmett was going to be pissed when he saw what I did, but I didn't care.
I turned around to head into the park and that's when I saw his car. His precious.
I went to the back of Emmett's jeep where I knew all his tools would be. Digging through all of the shit that he had back there I found the perfect tool, a crow bar.
I ran straight for Edward's car and jumped on the hood, causing it to dip deep in the middle as the sides started to lift up. I took the crow bar and heaved it behind me before slamming it against the glass, watching as the pieces flew in every which direction getting cut by some in the process, but I didn't care. I needed to do this.
This is for everything that he has put me through. For having his whore do his dirty work in high school and having her shove it in my face as he eagerly agreed. For all the fucking times he hurt me by putting dog shit in my locker and laughed as I opened it only to have it fall in my face. For just sitting there as he watched me get hurt.
This was for coming back into my life after I was getting better and finally being able to move on. For hanging out with me. For becoming my friend again. For kissing me than leaving me there. For having a child with that slut. For not telling me about it sooner. For not talking to me period so we could move on. This is for… for making me fall in love with him again.
And it finds me
The fight inside is coursing through my veins
And it's raging
The fight inside is breaking me again
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!!!" I stopped beating up the car and turned to see Edward standing over by the swing set with a beer in his hands looking infuriated, crushing the can in his hand slowly.
I ignored him and continued beating the hell out of the vehicle.
The crow bar was up over my head and I was about to smash it again against the hard metal of the car when I felt arms grip around my waist and yank me off the hood of the car, causing me to drop the crow bar to the ground with a loud clanging sound.
"LET ME GO!" I fought in his grasp as he kept pulling me away from the car. Tired of me struggling in his arms, he tossed me over his shoulder instead.
"GOD DAMNIT EDWARD LET ME FUCKING GO!" I smacked his back with my fists and kicked him as much as possible.
"Fine," he let go of me and I fell to the ground, groaning at the sharp pain that shot up my back.
"Now, are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on through that piece of shit you call your brain, or act innocent and pretend that you didn't do anything as per usual?"
I sat up to see him bent over with his hands on his knees glaring at me. He had dark circles under his eyes and his normal bright irises were now dark with rage and fury.
"If I have a choice I choose the latter." I was trying to sound like a smart ass, anything to piss him off a little more made me happy.
"Jesus Bella, you're such….ugh! Why can't you leave me alone?!" He stood back up and tossed his hands in the air.
"You know what - I wanted to leave you here alone. I really did. I didn't want to come out here looking for your sorry ass after what you did, but-"
"What I did! What did I do to you? You were the one sitting on the sofa making out with that fucking creep." I had to roll my eyes at him annoyed at the fact that I wasn't making out with Felix, nor did I really want to. At the time the only one I wanted to touch lips with was the one standing above me. Right now though, I wanted to hit that pretty face of his and make him bleed.
"You know that wouldn't have happened at all if you didn't leave me alone in the cold after you kissed me. Who knows what would've happened if you fucking stayed with me." I stood up from the ground and shoved my face in his. He turned and began to walk away from me. I watched his retreating figure as I felt a couple of drops of water hit my face mixing in with a few fallen tears.
It was all true. If he stayed and continued the kiss, who knows, maybe we could actually be laying in each other's arms right now. We could be even calmly discussing our situation instead of being here - yelling at each other.
I ran up in front of him placing my hands on his chest to make him stop.
"Edward, why won't you just talk to me?" I was really angry at myself for crying right now, when all I wanted to do was scream and yell, and maybe beat his ass a couple of times.
"I CAN'T!" he yelled at me, making me jump a little in surprise.
"Why not?! What did I do that made you want to run away from me like that?" I so badly wanted to know the answer to that question. Was I horrible? Did I do something wrong? Was it because I wasn't her?
"Why did you have to call him of all people?" He ignored my question. "Was everything some plan to humiliate me or something? Did you plan to hurt me again?"
Again?
If anyone had a plan to hurt someone in the first place, it would be him. How did I know that all this just wasn't part of his plan?
The rain was coming down harder now, but we ignored it – ignored the fact that we were soaking wet and cold.
"Edward, Felix is my friend." Edward scoffed at this, but I continued.
"After you left me there, I felt so vulnerable and useless. I needed someone there…"
"Why not call someone else? Why did it have to be him?"
"God what is it with everyone," I growled. I was already irritated with myself because of I called Felix. He didn't really care like I thought. If he cared he wouldn't have left me either like he did – with a smug smile and a cheery kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry, I was fucking stupid and called the wrong person. I'm sorry that I called the one person that everyone hates, but the only one that I felt like I could talk to at the moment. I see that may have been the wrong decision."
"It was and you're right – you are fucking stupid," he hissed pushing me away so he could continue his retreat.
I wanted to give up. I wanted to let him leave and walk away from me. I was ready to give up on him and it broke my heart thinking like that.
I bowed my head in deft, ready to walk back to Emmett's jeep and drive away from here.
"Can you answer on question for me?" I raised my head back up to see Edward a few feet ahead look at me. "Back in high school…What was it? Did you need someone to comfort you than too? Someone to make you feel like you were worth something? Is that why you choose the one guy that was the biggest bastard to me? Was I not a good enough friend to you that you had to do something like that to me?" He was seething in anger as water dripped from his hair down his face mixing in with the heavy rain and what looked like could be tears.
Rain poured down faster and faster showing no signs of ever letting up. I sat there for a moment just listening to the sounds of giant rain drops hitting this cold Earth.
I was totally baffled at his questions. He was making almost sound like as if…
"Edward, do you think Felix and I slept together?" I asked quietly not sure if he could hear me over the pounding rain. I saw him wince forcefully showing me that he indeed heard my question.
"You know Bella you really hurt me back than too," he snapped, choosing to ignore the question. "You broke your one promise to me."
"And what was that?" I rebuked walking back up to him. I don't remember ever promising that I wouldn't sleep with anyone ever in my life. I never did anyways. The one that I wanted never wanted me.
"You promised you would never leave, but you did, you left me, just like she fucking did. You are just like her!"
That's when it hit me. His mother.
I was nothing like his mother and for him to think that I was just....ugh! I can't even think of a word. I was just angry as hell.
"Edward, the only reason that I left was because I couldn't take all the shit you, your little girlfriend and other bitches were doing to me. Why don't you get that through your fucking skull already?" I was right up in his face now, "When were you going to realize that I only left because of you. Don't you think that I've had enough?"
"Evidently you didn't if you can still sit here and act like you didn't do anything to deserve everything you got." He shoved his face even closer to mine and I could smell the beer on his breath. I felt the tears come forcefully now and being so close to him I am sure that he could see them.
"Oh look, you're crying now aren't you? You're going to act like you're the victim in this again and be that precious Bella that everyone loves and knows that she would never do anything wrong. Make everyone go to her side and make them feel bad for her, while all they did to me was ignore me until I finally turned to drugs. That got people's attention didn't it?!" The night sky should have been lighting up by now to single a new day, but it was still dark as if this night would never end.
"Edward, tell me why. Why did you do it? Why did you go from one day being my best friend to being my worst enemy a second later?" I was trying to keep control of my sobs. "Why couldn't you come up and tell me yourself that all you ever saw me as was some fat chick that you couldn't stand because she hung onto you too tightly. Why did you have to send Tanya to do it?"
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about." I laughed a humorless laugh, irritated at the fact that he couldn't tell me the truth.
"What is wrong with you Edward?! Why is that I am the only one that is supposed to know what I supposedly did to you, but you can't even come to terms with what you did to me?"
"Because I didn't do or say anything like that! You are the one that hurt me!"
"HOW?!!" I screamed at him wanting to shake him until he finally talks and tells me everything.
"You turned out to be exactly like her." He growled at me shoving his finger in my face. "You sold yourself out like she did, except you didn't sleep with someone for drugs or money, you did it the other way around, you ended up selling me out, so you could have a good fuck. And it wasn't with anybody, it was with him. You tossed me aside not even thinking about my feelings, like a used piece of tissue or something. You turned out to be exactly like her and I FUCKING HATED HER!!!" he was breathing deeply and huffing as he finished yelling at me.
"How could you think that Edward? How could you think I would ever, ever do something like that? You were-"
"How could I not after the sight I had walked into - with him on top of you sucking your face?" He kept on talking loudly, my fists clenched tightly on my side ready to sock him in the face.
"You know what Bella, I seriously can't take any of this anymore, I am going to make this real easy, so both you and I don't have to deal with each other anymore. Just stay the fuck away from me. Don't come near me, don't look at me and don't even share the same air with me. Just stay the god damn away from me." His voice was low and menacing and I could feel the tears just pouring out of my eyes, as fast and as hard as the rain was coming out from the dark sky.
It's still the same
Pursuing pain
Isn't worth the light I've gained
We both know
How this will end
But I do it again
"So this is what I get? You were the only one that was truly hurting me in the worst possible ways – physically, emotionally, mentally - and I have to be the one to leave." My voice was shaking and quivering all over the place. I was surprised that I wasn't stuttering yet.
"You know I wasn't the only one that was surprised tonight. How do you think I felt when I heard that you have a daughter, huh? Her name is Alexis isn't it?" He kept his face stone hard and started to breath even deeper.
"Bella, stop there, you don't know anything!" he hissed at me, but this time I was the one that ignored him.
"How did you think I would feel knowing that you slept with the only other person I hated more than you? Is that how you feel about me? Knowing that I went around and fucked with someone you hated so much. How would you feel if I ended up having his child, huh?
"That is all you ever thought of me wasn't it? You thought that I was some fat slut that would rather fuck some random guy then the one she really loved?" I saw his face fall as I said this.
"Bella, you don't understand…"
From the corner of my eyes I could see headlights pulling into the parking lot, while Edward made no indication of him noticing it, his eyes only focused on mine.
"You're the one who knew I would never do anything like that, Edward, especially with someone like Felix, he will never mean to me as much as you did, but now after the day that I've had, I've realized that both you and Felix fucked up in the head.
"Felix was using me to piss you off. You know what gave it away? That smug ass smile he had when you left, then his readiness to leave me. A real friend would've stayed there with me, but guess what, neither of you stayed there, neither of you even fought to stay with me. You both eagerly left." Edward sat there staring at me as I turned and walked away from him.
"Another thing Edward," I turned to face him, my eyes blurry from tears, "yes I left, but I had a good reason, what was yours? Now I am gone, you don't have to see me ever again. I hope you and Alexis have a great life." I turned back and continued to the jeep, when something else popped into my head. I spin back around keeping my face looking down at the ground.
"I also got a bit of news to tell you" I looked up into Edward's steamy eyes. "I'm a god damn Virgin, you can check if you don't believe me. By the rate things have been going for me I will probably die that way." With that I ran the rest of the way to Emmett's jeep trying to get in soaking wet, as Edward stood out there in the rain and everyone else came got out of their vehicles and ran towards him.
Once I knew I was far enough away from that place I pulled over on the side of the road and started crying, leaning my head on the steering wheel and feeling my whole body rake with sobs.
It hurt so much, knowing that all this time he always thought of me as a whore and nothing more. How could he think so little of me? He knew me better than anyone else I've ever known, better than my own family did.
Family.
After being able to control my sobs I put the car back into drive and got back onto the main road heading to that one place where I knew I would always feel welcome and safe.
I parked the car across the street and stared up at the white house with dark curtains in the window. I forced myself out of the banged up Jeep and headed towards the green front door knocking on it.
"Bella, honey? What are you doing here?"
"Hey dad, can I stay here for awhile?"
"Of course you can." I went up and gave him a hug and cried. He never pushed me away or let go, he simply held onto me while I let the tears fall down my cheeks onto his shoulders. This is the most anyone has done for me in a long time.
And it finds me
The fight inside is coursing through my veins
And it's raging
The fight inside is hurting me again
And it finds me
The war within me pulls me under
And without you
The fight inside is breaking me again
It's breaking me
It's breaking me
I'm falling apart
I'm falling apart
- Fight inside by RED
Flashback: Summer before freshman year.
"Edward, where are we going?"
Edward and I had spent most of the Saturday afternoon sitting inside the house watching movies and he decides that it was time to get outside for a little bit.
"There's just a place I wanted to take you real fast." Edward says giving me his famous crooked grin again and I feel my heart flutter in my chest. If only he knew.
"Look, were actually here." He nods his head towards a park ahead of us.
As we get closer, I notice that we are at a small park, the same park that I haven't been to since I was a little kid.
It has a swing set and a little jungle gym that is bright and colorful, with two kinds of slides, one that goes straight down and another one that twists around. There's even an old See-Saw. Man, I used to love those things, now days if I got on one I would always be stuck on the ground.
"What are we doing here?" I ask Edward as we near the jungle gym. He doesn't say anything and we keep walking until he reaches the swing- set and sits down in one.
His face has a solemn look to it. It's really sad to see him look like that. He usually always has a smile on his face.
I move over and sit in the swing next to him. We're silent for awhile watching the sunset turn into a twilight sky.
"Bella, have I ever told you about my real mom?" Edward asks keeping his head down looking at his feet as he moves them around in the sand.
"Not really. All you've ever told me is that she simply left and then Carlisle and Esme took you in."
He takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. His green penetrating eyes meet my dull brown ones. They are full of sorrow and hurt. It's heart wrenching to look at.
"Edward what is it?" He has me a little concerned sitting here staring at me like that.
"This really isn't easy for me." He takes in another heavy breath.
"This place holds so many bad memoires. I don't even know why I still come here" He sighs looking around the desolate park. " It could be that deep down I hope she comes back, but then again I think that I am happy that she left me because I would never be where I am today, with great friends, real parents that love me, and you." He looks deeply into my eyes.
"Other times I come here when things get hard, as a reminder that things couldn't get any worse then what she did." His eyes glaze over, but no tears come.
"What happened?"
He takes in an unsteady breath.
"This is where she decided to leave me."
A gasp falls from my lips.
"You got to understand something about my mom. She was a druggy, and she really loved any drugs that she could get her hands on. I found out she even did drugs while she was pregnant with me." I know that this must all be hard for him to talk about, so I don't say anything afraid that I may say the wrong thing, so I let him continue.
"Her name was Elizabeth Masen and turns out that she used to be a very well known attorney, and one night, after an office party, she was raped. A little over a month later she found out that she carrying a child. She was carrying me." He looks back down at the ground.
"She didn't know what to do, she was going to get an abortion, but her mother wouldn't let her. Her mother actually said that she would take care of me once I was born. She took care of her daughter for 7 months, helping her through all the stages of her pregnancy, taking her to all the doctors' appointments and birthing classes, everything. Then unexpectedly, her mother passed away, because of a heart attack.
"My mother was devastated. She had absolutely no one that could help her anymore. She really did not want me. I wonder why at times she didn't fall down the stairs on purpose to get rid of me." I wince as he says that not liking it at all. It really hurts to have him thinking things like that.
I was about to say something when he continued with, "No, instead she turned to drugs. But because she didn't start the drugs until so late into the pregnancy and I was pretty much developed, full lungs and everything, the drugs really didn't harm me, although I was born upside down with my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. Thankfully they were able to get me out and remove it before permanent damage.
"The first time she held me- when I wrapped my finger around hers- she said she wasn't going to do drugs anymore, but of course that didn't happen. She was addicted and I soon became noting but a burden to her." I can tell that he's trying to keep himself together, and it's hard to sit and watch, but I know I have to. He's trying to tell me about his past, something he wants me to hear.
"We were practically living on the streets. I was surprised that social service never came to get me, but then again I didn't go to school, so no one even knew I existed. I had to teach myself things, or I had one of our neighbors, Aro, help me out. He would give me a new problem everyday to solve and every time I solved it correctly he would give me a piece of candy." Edward starts to laugh lightly at what I assume is a memory.
"Once we ran out of money, Elizabeth turned to prostitution, so she could get more money for more drugs. Although, she did give me some cash so that I could get food and everything. Eventually though, she got sick of me.
"I was almost seven at the time and we went on a 'road trip.' She had stolen a vehicle and stuffed me in it along with what little possessions I had, which merely included some books that Aro had given me.
"After that she just…drove. I knew she had no idea to where she was going, but I wasn't going to say anything. She wanted to get away - get away from me." Tears finally fall down his face, but he hurriedly wipes them away.
"We ended up at this park. I was asleep in the back seat of the car when I felt her start to pull me out and drag me out of the car. It was in the middle of the night so not a soul was there. She set me in the middle of the park and started to yell at me, telling me that I was holding her down, that I was a worthless piece of shit, and….and that she wanted nothing to do with me." I watch the tears fall down his cheeks again, but this time he doesn't remove them. He simply lets them slide down his cheeks and fall off his chin.
"She took off after that. I ran after the car yelling for her to come back, but she never did, so I stayed inside that tunnel over there," he points to a small round tube that was hiding under the jungle gym.
"I stayed there for weeks scrounging around for food out of trash cans. Bella, you don't know what that can do to a little kid. When weeks went on it really hurt to see all these mothers bring their children here - seeing them laughing and playing while I was the creepy little boy that stayed in the tunnel. But one day, when I was out looking for something to eat, I saw them."
"Saw who?" I ask when he doesn't say anything for a awhile.
"You and Alice." I get up out of my swing and kneel down in front of him as more tears ran down his face.
"You guys were running around playing two-way tag having the time of your life. You don't know how badly I wanted to come and join you guys. As I was about to come out and play with you, your dad had called your name and you had to go while Alice stayed. She was running around with another little boy with greasy blond hair and buck teeth, who turned into the stunning and smooth Jasper. Anyways, as they were running around she spotted me and came over. She said I looked sad and needed a friend." Edward smiles at this, and I can't help but give a small smile in return finally becoming aware of the fact that I have tears on my cheeks.
"We were playing around for awhile when I saw Esme telling Alice it was time to go. She was like 'but Aunti Esme, we can't leave Eddie'" He starts to chuckle again through his tears.
"Esme came over to me and asked where my mom was and I told her she left. After that, she and Carlisle took me in. They couldn't have a kid of their own, so finding me was like a blessing for them. After a few months when no one claimed me, they both fully adopted me." His face is stained with tears.
"I'm so sorry Edward." I say through my own tears.
"It's not your fault, but will you promise me one thing, Bella?" His eyes are piercing as if they are looking down to my very soul. He takes my hands in his.
"Anything." I let out with bated breath.
"Never leave me like she did. I don't know what I would do if I lost you, or if you left me. Please, please stay, always. Never hurt me like she did." He's very urgent and holding tightly onto me as if I'm going to run away from him that minute.
I reach my hand out and wipe his tears off from under his eyes and off his red cheeks.
"Edward, I'm never going to leave. I'll always be here for you. You're my best friend; I don't know what I'd do without you." It hurts so much to see him in this kind of pain. I never want to see it again.
He leans forward and wraps his arms around me as I do the same to him, holding each other close.
"Thank you," he whispers softly in my ear.
There's no way I can stay away from him, even if I want to.
He's my light in the dark, and I his.
END FLASHBACK
So I hoped you guys listening to all that with sad music, throughout most of it, I actually listening to a bunch of Linkin park, and then some really depressing songs.
Any who, I hope you guys loved that chapter, sorry for any mistakes, again early in the morning. I'm actually supposed to wake up in a couple of hours to go to church. I hate insomnia sometimes.
If you guys don't like the chapter, I may re write it because I am not so sure about it. Please let me know what you think. If no one really reviews then I know I will have to redo it.
Also you guys guessed right on him having a kid, but with the whole Tanya thing, I wouldn't be too sure. Just trust me when I say nothing is what you think.
So goodnight, and review, looking forward to seeing them in the morning.