Disclaimer: I don't own Fairly OddParents.

Author's Note: Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization. I allow anonymous reviews (reviews from people without accounts), so if you don't have an account, you can review my fanfics.

Chapter 2: What? Why? How? Where?

Norm didn't know how he had become a fairy. One moment he trapped in his lamp, the next, he was a fairy. He seemed to have a godkid too and a dame seemed to be staying over with them.

Norm was elated to be free; it was just, what was the kid about?

He didn't want kids. Kids were a needless distraction from fun stuff, like Hawaii or go-kart racing.

The way the kid talked to him however, suggested that the kid believed that Norm cared about him, and that the kid liked Norm. Norm didn't know why any kid would think Norm cared them, unless he had tricked the kid.

Calais wondered why Norm was looking around Chester's mobile home as though he'd never seen it before. Hadn't he godparented Chester for months now?

"Norm, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong," replied Norm. "Except I have no clue how I got here. Or who you are, though whoever you are, will you bed me?"

"Yeah, I know you want that," replied the genie dame. "You told me that millions of times while we saved the universe."

Norm felt confused. Again. He saved the universe? Why? From who? Was he famous? Whatever the answers were, Norm was sure that it was great.

"Who's the kid?"

"The kid is Chester McBadbat," replied the genie dame. "A.K.A your godkid. That you care about so much."

Norm doubted that he could care about a human kid. Humans always were mean, ignorant idiots that made dumb wishes. Was this kid different, was he brainwashed, or something?

"Yeah, like I'd care about a human," replied Norm sarcastically.

Chester couldn't help but hear Norm and Calais' conversation. He wondered why Norm didn't know who he was, and didn't care about him. Regardless of the reason, Chester was upset. Norm didn't care about him after all.

"Norm, look at what you did to Chester!" shouted Calais. "Don't you smoofing see how upset you're making him?"

"Yeah, I do. It's just that I don't care."

"Norm, I thought you were better than this."

"That I would let myself get exploited by a human, you mean?" replied Norm. "Sorry, but that's not my thing. If you like platonic BDSM, that's fine with me, but please don't try to make me do it too!"

Calais groaned. Why did Norm think that Chester exploited him?

"Don't worry, Chester," she said to him. "Your god-dad's just cranky, isn't he?"

"My name is Norm," corrected Norm. "Not 'your god-dad.' And I'm not cranky. You two are trying to convince me that I care about this," he pointed at Chester, "human brat, and I don't."

Calais groaned.

"Hey, Norm, if you stop insulting Chester, I'll shag you," said Calais in a seducing voice. Norm had made millions of double entendres about how much he wanted to shag her senseless, so she figured that would tempt him.

BOOM!

Norm appeared in a gigantic gumball machine, which was filled with various gumballs, which looked like transformed fairies. Why was he in here? Was this jail for godparents that hated their kids, or something?

Norm looked down. He was a gumball too. Oh great. He was a gumball trapped in a gumball machine.

"Hey, why are we in here?" asked Norm angrily. "Is this a new-fangled jail or something?"

"Aren't you, Norm, winner of Fairy Idol, and the defeater of the Pixies and the Anti-Fairies?"

"Yeah, my name's Norm, but what's Fairy Idol?"

"I suppose you're the wrong Norm then. I thought I recognized your voice. Gimme the Wand was awesome! I'm a swinging G-E-N-I-E! Let me tell you what that spells to me! That I'm shoved in a lamp! That's cold and damp!"

That sounded like himself, Norm had to admit, but he didn't ever remember singing it or saying it. Maybe, it had happened when he was younger, so long ago that he couldn't remember it or something.

"Can I have your autograph?" asked the fanboyish fairy.

"Yeah, but we are gumballs right now, so signing something would probably be hard."

"I never heard have Fairy Idol or you either, Norm," chimed in a pink gumball. "In fact, my memories stop when I were in Fairy World, with Cosmo, ready to get assigned to our next godchild."

Weird. He wasn't the only one with the weird memory problems. Some other fairies seemed to have them too. He figured it was probably a plan by Chester McBadbat to acquire lots of fairy slaves. That would explain what happened earlier.

However, there was no way Norm would just let anyone enslave him like that, regardless of his species!