I don't own Naruto

Life for the twenty-four year old demon-container sucked. He served for a dozen loyal years and grew as a ninja in ways no one thought possible. Yet here he was, in the Hokage's office, getting lectured like he was a prepubescent teenager. Again. As Naruto watched the Hokage's mouth move frenziedly without an indication of stopping, he waited for the rare moments the lips would stop moving. In those few moments he would just nod his head and watch as the Hokage would then continue the rant once again. It was simple really, he would just do a simple sound-proofing jutsu on his ears and pretend to listen while being chewed out.

As this continued on for the next hour or so (one loses track of time when one loses his sense of hearing) Naruto got knocked out of his daze when he realized that the mouth he was watching seemed to set in a grim line and he noticed a twitch in the Hokage's eye. 'Ah, she must be finished bitching.' As he released the jutsu, the wonderfully gifted Hokage with great, big, voluptuous…brains…asked a question that people always know the answer to.

"Did you even listen to a word I said?"

"Of course I did."

Eye twitching at the blatant lie, she asked, "Then what was the last thing I said?"

"You asked me if I listened to a word you said."

Hands balling into a trembling fist, the Hokage gathered herself and said in an even voice, "Naruto, come here."

Mentally sighing and wondering if she was commencing to start another lecture, Naruto leisurely walked up in front of her desk; and was completely caught off guard when Tsunade grabbed his hair and slammed one side of his face hard onto her desk.

'Oww, that was extremely painful.'

The sixty-something years young village leader continued to grind, and more importantly, keep the whiskered blonde's face planted on the sturdy and very solid mahogany desk. In an unusual quiet tone of voice, she said, "Naruto, I want you to know that I love you."

Not liking the deadly voice she was using and not liking even more the fact he had no idea where this was going, Naruto replied cautiously. "Uhhh, I love you too."

"No, I don't think you understand, Naruto." The pro-peace and advocator of non violence leaned her head in close to Naruto's face. Making sure that she had his complete attention, she continued. "With the exception of Shizune, there is nothing and there is no one that I loooove more than I love you."

Face still decorating the desk, Naruto gulped and said, "T-th-thanks. I love you a lot too."

Giving a smile that denoted anything but happiness, she continued on. "I'm so glad you understand and feel the same way. Now, I want you to direct your attention at the things in front of your eyes." Naruto did as told and stared at the three stacks in front of him. Naruto blinked as a fourth seemed to materialize out of thin air. "I want you to listen very carefully now. The love I have for you pales in comparison to the hatred I have for paperwork. And every time you decide to have your fun with pranks, or you decide your too good for a certain mission and send someone else in your place, or when you goof around and screw up a mission, or even when you go beyond mission parameters and in your words, 'end the mission in a bang,' the paperwork grows exponentially. Are you with me so far?"

Still attached to the embossed and wonderfully designed desk, as Naruto could tell from his view, the initial pain from having his face impacting the desk was being accompanied by an unpleasant pain in his neck. However, through all this pain, Naruto for once was listening and magically nodded his head yes.

"That's good, because I don't want to lose you on this, for the next thing I have to say is most important for your health and welfare. I will not repeat this again so listen very closely. As much as I love you, if it meant the prevention of future paperwork, I will not hesitate to choose less paperwork over your life. That is a sacrifice I will gladly make and I will not lose any sleep over that decision." Tsunade chose to stress this point in the conversation by adding a little pressure to his head and adorn her desk with whisker prints, completely disregarding the fact that the desk was supposed to be so sturdy that even a kunai couldn't leave a scratch into it. "Have I made myself clear?"

"Like glass."

This time, a smile that displayed joy and happiness garnished Tsunade's face. "Good, I'm glad we're on the same page. Okay, take your face off my desk now, I just had it polished today." Lifting his face off her desk, he gingerly massaged what was probably his fractured cheek bone. Tsunade helped straighten out his clothes and smoothed out his hair. After making his appearance look like she didn't physically harass her employees, she started healing half his face. "Now after you leave this office, there is a C-rank escort mission that you will accept. You will accept and you will perform it flawlessly and without complaint." She finished off her orders as she finished healing Naruto's cheek. "Understand?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good, take this scroll and go. Remember, more paperwork for me means more pain for you. Have a nice day."

Accepting the scroll, Naruto exited the room using the window with the intent to successfully accomplish his first C-rank mission in seven years. And he planned on doing without complaint. 'Okay, I got off with a death threat and a punishment of a C-rank mission. I don't know which one is worst, but pranking the Inuzuka by hypnotizing their nin-dogs into thinking they were nin-cats was worth it.' Naruto finished his train of thought with a well deserved fox-smirk.

After the troublemaker made his departure, Tsunade rubbed her temples and calmed herself. Headaches and frustration always followed after a lecture with Konoha's most prominent prankster and she always needed a moment to regain her wits and patience. Once satisfied with her meditation, she called in Shizune. Once the mousy assistant made her way in, Tsunade asked, "So what's next on my schedule of agendas?"

Fidgeting a bit in nervousness, Shizune answered, "The Kazekage just arrived and demanded a conference with you."

Looking up in surprise, the top-heavy medic nin asked, "The Kazekage is here? Did he have an appointment?"

"No, this is an unexpected appearance by the Kazekage."

Wondering why the Kage from the Sand decided to grace her with his impromptu presence, she decided to meet him. "Show him in, might as well see what he wants."

Shizune did as she was told and led the ever stoic redhead into the office. Once she presented the Kazekage and made sure he was comfortable, she took her leave to allow the two Kage's to discuss Kage business. After Shizune left, Tsunade wasted no time in getting started. "So, what business brings out the Kazekage personally to Konoha?"

"I have come to discuss the recent treaty created to dictate the control over trading routes between Konoha and Suna."

Baffled at topic chosen for discussion, Tsunade responded. "I was in the belief that both parties were happy with the agreement. What more can be discussed?"

"As you know, the meeting over the treaty was settled in Konoha, and my diplomat felt he was coerced into signing over more control to Konoha than what was acceptable to Suna. Feeling slightly afraid of angering your diplomat and other Konoha present at the meeting, he gave into negotiations much earlier than he wanted to. I have come to rectify the situation."

While Gaara put forth his reasoning, Tsunade slowly narrowed her eyes in suspicion and slight anger. According to Shizune's report, both parties were very happy over negotiations and things were settled in an amicable manner with both sides having nearly even control over borders and trading routes. In fact, on the orders of the Hokage herself, Suna was given much more power than Konoha should have allowed. At the end of Gaara's statement, Tsunade tensely replied, "On behalf of Konoha, I apologize for any misunderstood feelings felt by your representative. However, we did not coerce or manipulate your diplomatic representative in any way. In what ways are you unhappy over the treaty?"

"We, the land of Suna, believe we have shown our loyalty and trustworthiness over and over again throughout the years, and we believe we have proven that we can be looked upon as an equal more than just an allied nation under Konoha. I know that we have already signed the treaty, so I will not make any demands or change a signed agreement with Konoha. I do this in good faith, and I was hoping that Konoha could also show good faith and do something for us in return."

"And what would you like in return?"

Gaara took a slow, careful breath and asked, "I am currently undermanned in a specific area of my ninja task force, and I was hoping you would be so gracious as to offer just one of your own to help us in our time of need."

Tsunade leaned back into her chair and took a moment to reflect on what happened so far. While she knew it was utter BS that Konoha gypped Suna, she could understand that Gaara was suffering from a lack of manpower. He also stated that it was his own task force that was short on manpower, and she could understand that Gaara could just be using the treaty as a convenient excuse to obtain help. It was also fact that Suna has stayed true to Konoha and sacrificing one ninja was not too much of a problem. While normally she would maim anyone for making demands in the way Gaara did, the redhead was one of Naruto's close friends and Gaara's personality was never one of his strong points. Forgiving him just this once for his impudence, Tsunade decided to help the fellow Kage. "Alright, one ninja isn't too much to ask for. I'm assuming you would like a jounin. I'll send one to you as soon as I can, with all the documents of immigration with him. I'll show you a list of available personnel I can spare."

"Actually, I already had a specific shinobi in mind."

Stopping her motion and turning her cautious gaze at the redhead, she carefully asked, "And who was this specific person you had in mind?"

"Uzumaki Naruto."

"I see." Tsunade slowly stood up and straightened up her clothes. Making an exaggerated show of contemplation, she then slowly walked around the desk and sat on the desk in front of Gaara. Bringing up her hand to her chin, she started to gaze at the suddenly nervous ex- jinchuuriki. "And if I said no?"

Gaara wanted to fidget in his chair, but years of keeping up the image of 'I'm one badass of a psycho' kept him from giving away his discomfort. With a strong and confident voice, he said, "You have already agreed to the request, and I know for a fact that Uzumaki Naruto is avai—URRRK!"

Faster than what he thought possible, Tsunade quickly snatched Gaara's throat and lifted him up using the hand that was on her chin a moment ago. With relative ease, she held him up so that his feet were no longer touching the ground. Bringing Gaara's choking face closer to hers, she enunciated her words with perfect clarity. "I don't care that you have more than three times the amount of chakra than me. I don't care that you are faster than me. I don't even care that you have a supposedly impenetrable defense. Do you want to know why I don't care?"

Panicking at the fact that his absolute defense did nothing to stop the angry blonde and terrified that she was slowly applying pressure to her chokehold, Gaara finally understood why Naruto always showed an unhealthy fear for the Hokage and her apprentices. He always believed that both him and Naruto were much stronger than Tsunade, but at the moment, she was currently putting a big hole in his theory.

"It's simple, really. I don't care because I have nothing to fear. I don't care that you have more chakra than me because I am stronger than you. I don't care that you're faster because I'm smarter. I don't fear you because I am much more dangerous than you think I am." Tsunade took this moment to painfully slam the most powerful ninja in Wind Country into a wall. "Now tell me, please, why I shouldn't kill you here right now? You waltz in here with false information and threaten me with lies. Then you try to force me to give up a person that I refuse to give. I was hospitable to you the entire time, yet you continued to threaten and pressure me by taking advantage of my good intentions. So please, let me hear any reason you could possibly have that will prevent me from choking you to death right now."

Gaara tried, he tried oh so hard to get the words to come out. His own hands gripping at the Hokage's angry grip to his throat, he squeezed out desperate words, "I…love…my…sister."

Tsunade looked into the eyes of the Kazekage. When he spoke his strangled words, she recognized truth and desperation behind his unstable eyes. Letting go of her grip, the redhead collapsed to the ground and coughed for precious air. "You have one minute to convince me not to kill the Kazekage of Suna."