Chapter Twenty – Confusion and Misunderstanding
Lizzy glared at Will standing beside her bed. 'Why that miserable, no good, match splitting lip kisser!' Lizzy was willing to admit that her thoughts were somewhat divided between what a pompous bastard Darcy was and how his touch and kiss had made her feel only twelve hours ago. She had spent the afternoon trying to add the facts up in her head; how could he be such a fun nice guy and yet have disinherited George out of spite? How could he split up Jane and Charlie even though he is best friends with Charles and claimed to like Jane? Nothing made sense and it just made her angrier. 'How dare he hurt her sister,' she thought. 'No matter how good his intentions are for Charles, how DARE he interfere? What would he know about love?'
Will was thinking along similar lines, though his thoughts were quite radically different. He had realised during conversation today that Jane was nothing like the social climber her mother wanted her to be, he had overheard Lizzy talking to her on the phone at the beach and realised she was actually very upset about Charles leaving, even now, two months later. More importantly, Will failed to understand what was wrong with Lizzy, she had been so playful and flirtatious all morning, and then when he turned up to watch Seinfeld her mood changed so radically. She had glared at him all afternoon, and ignored the show. Then she hadn't turned up to dinner and Will needed to know what was wrong. He wondered if she was upset that he hadn't snuck over to see her before they agreed to meet up, or if she was regretting the kiss...no surely not. Will sighed; he had come to her room to find out and was met with a hostile yet vulnerable glare. Confusion was rampant and he felt hypnotised watching the flashing of her eyes, yet he snapped out of that quickly when he saw her red rimmed eyes and pale face. 'She's been crying!'
"Oh Elle." He said softly, gaining confidence in moving closer when she didn't move away from him. He crawled onto her bed and reached for her face, wiping away the remains of tears with his thumbs. Lizzy sat still, not sure what he was here for, what he wanted. Will took that again as an affirmation of their mutual attraction. "You're so beautiful even when you cry; it makes your eyes all the more prominent and her hair wilder than ever."
This caught Lizzy's attention, and she jerked away from him and off the bed. "Then why is it Darcy, that you called me a savage, not pretty enough to tempt you?" She glared at him, her arms crossed and her tiny body fierce. Will's eyes lit up in understanding, 'She is confused and thinks that I am just using her!' He rose and walked over to her, blocking her escape with an arm on either side of her body. She stared back up at him in fury. He mistook that fury for the passion that moved within him.
"Surely you must know that you have long since changed my opinion on that count. I admit I was in a bad mood that night, and disinclined to find any woman attractive, no matter how entrancing. However, it was that very night that your beauty alone endeared me to you, your eyes sparkled enticingly, and your hair begged me to run my hands in it. When thrown together again, I saw that beauty was not your only charm, your personality and confidence and intelligence all brought you to my attention to the point that today I could not hold myself back anymore." Will had been inching ever closer though his speech, until he just barely brushed her lips with his own.
Lizzy's mind was a blur. Surely this couldn't be true, he had always seen her in contempt, had disdained her opinions, hadn't he? Will moved his lips to her throat and lay tiny butterfly kisses up and down her neck, causing a small moan to escape her. Will's eyes darkened with desire and Lizzy couldn't help forgetting everything as he brought his mouth to hers. Her first instinct was to dig her hands into his thick black hair and revel in the softness of it, her second to run one hand down his back, her nails scratching lightly at the back of his neck so he broke the kiss with a moan of his own. Taking her actions as a yes, Will placed one hand on Lizzy's waist and the other on her hip and used his body to press her against the wall. With agonising slowness he eased one hand inside her t-shirt, wanting to feel his hand against her skin. He moaned again as Lizzy pre-empted him, shoving one hand smoothly up his shirt and running her hands up and down the muscles of his back. Again he broke their kiss to moan, but this time he failed to return and both were aware of how heavily aroused other was. Lizzy swallowed, sense slowly returning to her mind, when Will spoke again.
"I have to tell you," he began, one hand grasping her face firmly, his eyes boring into her own, "just how ardently I admire and adore you." He kissed her deeply. "I know it's an imprudent match for me," he ran his tongue across her bottom lip, "so uneven, with my family's wealth and heritage, and your own lack thereof." Here Lizzy snapped back into the real world, where delightful tasting kisses from Darcy meant nothing, and her dislike for the man surged forward.
'I am willing to see past that, and the atrocious manners of your family, excepting your twin of course. It is a shame you are still at school though, as you won't be able to move away til you finish, and I have no desire to spend too much time in the presence of your mother and youngest sisters. But I need you Elle, God but I want you." His voice went husky as he leaned down to kiss the tip of her ear and missed. Completely. Lizzy was gone from his arms. He turned around to find her and his eyes widened. Slap.
The force behind Lizzy's petite form was utterly surprising. Will felt the slap reverberate through him, and if not for the wall behind his back, it would have felled him. Hand on cheek he looked at Lizzy in surprise, she stood tall, her short stature lengthened by the anger she radiated. Yet despite this anger, she was crying. "Elle?" He asked softly, confused.
"Who, the fuck, do you think you are?" She asked, Will flinched as she swore, something she only did when very angry, it itself was like a slap coming from her cheery voice. "Oh that's right, Fitzwilliam fucking Darcy of Derbyshire, king of the fucking world. All women fall at his feet and all men obey his ever order." Her chin trembled as she roughly brushed away tears gesturing wildly in her distress.
'I feel obligated to express gratitude for the compliment to my person that your...confession has brought to my attention. Yet under the circumstances of our acquaintance I cannot help but feel complete and utter contempt for you. You are a bastard and a womaniser," Will flinched at the accusation, and tried to repress his own anger as he sorted out his confusion. "I am not sorry to say I do not return your affections, and have determined your character as one of many pretences', there is a Proteus(1) like quality to you, one can never be sure when you are truly yourself or playing some obscure game."
"Elle, I don't understand..." Will stepped forward, a hand extended.
Lizzy trembled, not understanding the conflict within her. "Of course you don't Darcy. You're so full of arrogance, it is little wonder. I will admit that I am attracted to you, and today when you kissed me I was willing to start anew and ignore my first impression of you as a pompous ass. But I can't get past how wilfully you destroyed the happiness of my twin. When you separated Jane and Charles you broke her heart, and when you hurt Jane, you hurt me. And that is not the only example of your careless and almost cruel nature. George Wickham told me how you denied him his chance at life, and how he should be living comfortably and not working in a violent atmosphere like the army. You ruined his life and my twins and for that I cannot forgive you, even if you had expressed your sentiments in a more civil and gentlemanly manner." Lizzy quivered in rage, her voice breaking with sobs. "I love my family, my mother may be a crazy bitch, Mary, Kit and Lydia silly, stupid little girls but they are my silly bitches, and I could never live without them. We may not look like it but all we want is the best for each other." Lizzy turned away, and her breathing erratic and her tears blocking her throat.
Will stood speechless, his brain struggling to understand her words. "My god Elle..." Suddenly he regretted his actions, his own assumptions that any woman would want him purely for being Fitzwilliam Darcy of Derbyshire, she was right in that respect, and he had treated her abominably, and said cruel things about her family, and yet there was so much she didn't understand. "Is that what you really think of me?"
She refused to turn and look at him. "Yes."
Will felt his heart crumple in defeat, and Lizzy who had chanced a glance at him felt her own heart crumple at the level of hurt on his face. She recalled the look of vulnerability on his face when he met with Wickham at the shops, and for a moment her resolve wavered. She turned to him and took a step towards him. Her face was gentle despite the anger and hurt still obvious in her eyes.
"I'm sorry Will, I never meant to lead you on. But I can't forgive you for what you did to Jane, she is and always will be my other half, and if you can't see that..." she trailed off with a sigh. Will stared at her with hopeless eyes. "I'm sorry," she repeated, and pushing herself up on her toes she lightly brushed her lips against his, savouring the taste of his lips. "I think...you should-"
"Yes." Will stood again, his face once again his usual haughty mask, something Lizzy now recognised as his mask to hide from reality. "I apologise that I was so...repugnant. I will make you understand Lizzy that I am much more than what you think. I promise I will."
Lizzy just looked away tiredly, slumping down on her bed as he climbed out the window onto the fire escape. Not bothering to get up and close the window to block out the cold wind, Lizzy cried herself to sleep.
...Break...
Will returned to his room just as his mask broke. Anger broke through and he punched the wall, repressing a cry of pain as his knuckles popped out. With great strength of will, he gathered his resolve and left his room to join the guests.
"Fitzwilliam! Where have you been?" His aunt sat regally in her chair as everyone else bar Collins sat looking bored. "Not only has that Miss Bennet denied us her company, but you have left us bereft of your own! One would think you had run off together." Eight pairs of eyes narrowed – Collins remained unaware – at him and he struggled to keep his demeanour. Will glared at his cousins and hiding his bruised hands stepped further into the room.
"Actually aunt, urgent business has come up, I have been in contact with a business associate for the last hour, and urgent events require me to take my leave of you." Will glanced at his cousins who looked calculating, thinking on Lizzy's behaviour that afternoon and their absence this evening.
"Oh! Very well then Fitzwilliam, if you must! But I am most displeased nephew; you barely ever come to visit!" Catherine huffed and puffed and Will repressed the urge to growl as he bid the Collins goodbye and his cousins followed him to his room. His mask came off and he whirled at them in anger.
"Be gone! The both of you. I am no infant who needs you to watch over me. I am ok, Miss Bennet is ok and I am leaving. Now please leave me be as I pack." Shocked by his anger, both Marshall and Anne disappeared quickly and Will collapsed onto his bed. 'I need to set Elle straight, I need to tell her- but she will not face me again. I couldn't look her in the eye, I don't know that I will ever be able to again. But she must understand, she cannot go on thinking of me as she does. Even if our paths never cross again.'
Will thought it over as he packed, and by the time he had finished throwing his belongings into his suitcase, had a plan. Snapping open his laptop he opened a program and began rectifying his situation.
...Break...
It was after midnight that Lizzy felt her body being moved under the covers, and a soft kiss on her forehead. Blinking groggily Lizzy looked up at Will. He looked worn and haggard, thinking she was dreaming she reached out to stroke his chin where a beard was beginning to show. "I like that, you look sexy and scruffy." She started when the visage smiled and her hand came into contact with warm skin.
"Fear not Lizzy, I have no come to renew my earlier sentiments." He sighed and blinked several times, "I just wanted to leave you with this," he held up an envelope she could barely make out in the blue darkness of the night. "I just...you were shivering so I was making sure you were warm."
Lizzy's eyes had began to close again, her brain not really understanding the situation. Will smiled at her, she was so sweet and doll-like as she slept, curled up into a ball, her hair spread across the pillow. Tucking the envelope into her hand, he stood and walked away from the bed.
Halfway out the window he looked back. "I know you said Jane will always be your other half, and I can accept that, yet I can't help but wish you had room in your heart for me. Goodbye Lizzy."
The window clicked shut and Lizzy's eyes snapped open, watching the shadow move away from her window. She licked her lips and glanced at the envelope in her hands. Then feeling the anger from earlier she threw it from her and turned over in bed. Determined to never think of Fitzwilliam Darcy again.
...End of Chapter...
A/N There you go, another chapter. I should really have been reading or watching Hamlet but I was in the zone. What does everyone think so far? I want Lizzy to want Will but to be conflicted; it will help her sort through her feelings when she understands about Wickham. Next chapter Will has left and Lizzy opens the envelope before returning to Hertforshire. I have also included a timeline of the events so far, just to make sense of the time shifts. After Chapter 21 there will be a long break in time, so I'm hoping it will help make sense.
TIMELINE OF EVENTS THUS FAR
Chapter One: A truth Universally Acknowledged
News of the leasing of Netherfield comes to the Bennets at Longbourne.- Between October 2007 and January 2008
Chapter Two: Pretty Enough
Lucas Australia Day Party, introduction of Bennets to Binglys and Darcy. - Australia Day 2008 – 26th January 2008
Chapter Three: O Man of Pride
Talking over the AD party- Morning and Afternoon of 27th of January 2008
Chapter Four: Fine Eyes
School begins - Monday 28th January – Wednesday 30th
First five weeks of term
Charlotte's 19th Birthday - March 1st 2008
Chapter Five: Between Fear and Sex
Bennets invited to Rye - March 20th 2008
Arrival in Rye - Tuesday March 25th 2008
Chapter Six: Cattlaya Orchids
The first night of fun - Tuesday 25th continued...
To the beach - Wednesday 26th 2008
Chapter Seven: Homecoming
The trip home - April 2nd 2008
Email From Will
Email from Gee Gee
Email from Will- Thursday April 3rd 2008
Chapter Eight: A Smaller Step
Enter Collins - Saturday 5th April 2008
Will Thinks of Lizzy - Sunday 6th April 2008
Chapter Nine: Obsequious
Collins and Ms Catty de Bourgh - Saturday and Sunday 5-6th April
Chapter Ten: Enter O Handsome Stranger
Planning a party - April 7th 2008
Shopping and Wickham - April 11th 2008 [morning]
Chapter Eleven: Two sides to every story
Will and Charles drink
Aunt Phillipa's and Wickham's sap story -April 11 Evening
Chapter Twelve: Dance With Me
Telling Jane - Bedtime April 11
Party at Netherfield - April 12
Flashback [morning]
Chapter Thirteen: To Marry A Cousin
Billy proposes -sunday 13th april
Email to Gee Gee -
Email to Will -monday 14th
Email to Gee Gee - tuesday 15th
Chapter Fourteen: Say Goodbye
Lizzy hides in Charli's cupboard - Sunday April 13th 2008
Lizzy and Jane - Friday 18th April 2008
Charli confesses - Wednesday 30th April 2008
18th Birthday = skipped - Sunday May 4th 2008
Charli marries - Sunday May 11th 2008
Chapter fifteen: Emails From A Gardiner
To Lizzy - sunday May 25th 2008
To Liadan Gardiner
To Lizzy- Monday May 26th
To Liadan
End of semester and exams June 13th 2008
Jane leaves
Lizzy finishes two weeks of school and flies to Sydney June 28th [morning]
Chapter Sixteen: The Unexpected
Lizzy stays with the Collins - June 28th [afternoon]
Will is with Aunt Catherine
Lizzy prepares for Cathy
Will dresses up for Lizzy
Chapter Seventeen: First Impressions
Lizzy and Will meet again - June 28th [evening]
Chapter Eighteen: Dinner With the Family
Dinner and a song - June 28th [evning]
Chapter Nineteen: Behind the Sunshine Comes The Shadow
A day at the beach - Friday July 4th 2008
A Kiss
Seinfeld!
Note: At this stage Charlotte is approximately 3 months pregnant and finishing her first trimester.
Chapter Twenty: Confusion and Misunderstanding
-The first Proposal - Friday 4th July [night]
Chapter Twenty One: Words of Regret
Darcy writes to Lizzy - Saturday 5th [early hours of the morning]
Lizzy finishes her stay with the Collins - thursday 10th July
Lizzy reads the letter at the Gardiners - Friday 11th July
Lizzy and Jane go home - Saturday 12th July
Chapter Twenty Two: Lydia Goes To Launceston
Lizzy confronts her father - November 2008
Lydia goes away