Disclaimer: I don't own Fairly OddParents.

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Chapter 12: New Clone

Norm had given the matter of Chester, and his feelings about Turner a lot of thought while he was in Hawaii. He decided, without a doubt, that rescuing Turner from the Eliminators/Darkness was a no-go.

However, that caused Norm to wonder what else he could do. He thought back to his previous plans. Only one had succeeded: winning Fairy Idol. He wondered if any parts of that would be applicable to this situation.

Then it came to him. The Turner Clone. He could make a Turner Clone, and pretend that it was Turner. Chester would never know.

Norm remembered that his previous Turner Clone was designed to be cruel. He supposed that he'd have to give his next one different settings, even though he doubted that the word "nice" could ever describe Turner.

POOF!

A new Turner Clone appeared, in a blast of sugary flowers. Norm figured that if he was going to make a nice Turner Clone, it might as well be nice to the extreme and back. That would stop him from trying to get it into another Eliminator, or making it fall in a shark pool.

Norm stopped himself from carrying that thought further. He was not going to kill Turner, or this Clone. Killing kids was bad, as the Pixies had demonstrated when they attempted to kill Chester.

Norm was sure that he was really underestimating his own intelligence if he assumed that he'd try to get revenge on anything that remotely looked like Turner.

POOF!

He appeared in Chester's mobile home. Norm swore to himself as he noticed that:

Chester wasn't there

The mobile home was in its usual state of stinky grossness

He wondered why Calais had let Chester do that. He supposed Calais had gone in his lamp to escape the stinky grossness, instead of stopping it. Norm wondered if he could exploit the double meaning of that statement to get Calais in bed with him, but he reminded himself that Calais didn't seem to want it, and telling her that she should bed him while in there would probably just make her mad.

Norm POOFed out of the mobile home. It was the second fastest POOF in fairy history – the fastest being Cosmo's shapeshifting and background changing in his Fairy Idol performance of Gimme the Wand. Yes, the mobile home stank that much.

He appeared at the field where Chester usually played baseball. Chester wasn't there. Norm facepalmed. He knew Chester's baseball wasn't today.

Norm wondered where else Chester could be, and his imaginative mind leaped to thoughts of the Darkness, and Eliminators. However, he wasn't much of a worrier, so he left that train of thought as soon as it entered the station.

While he was just floating there, wondering where Chester was, he spotted a yellow lobster flying through the sky. He assumed it was bigger than an ordinary lobster, just slightly far away.

However, Norm doubted it was really a flying yellow lobster. Yes, he knew from experience that the world was amazingly absurd, but he also knew that there had to be a limit somewhere. He supposed that flying yellow lobsters passed the limit. However, alien spaceships shaped like flying yellow lobsters didn't.

Norm wondered what to do. The spaceship was approaching Earth, not leaving it, so it hadn't taken Chester. Maybe the aliens were just going to make crop circles, like aliens did in every tabloid magazines that Norm skimmed, and never believed.

POOF!

Norm became invisible, and appeared inside the spaceship. He heard a seductively chilling female voice.

"Chang, when we arrive on Earth, convince Turner to avenge the destruction of Yuggotamia!"

Norm wondered if they were talking about the same Turner as the one that he knew. If so, Norm supposed that more people knew of Turner's Chosen One status than he thought.

"Yes, Man-DIE," replied the other alien with a defeated groan.

So, the alien dame's name was Man-DIE.

Norm silently got a better view of them. He wasn't too surprised by what he saw.

The icy female voice belonged to a war-like yellow-skinned space babe, with shagadelic-ness equal to or exceeding Calais'. Chang was a mildly dark green Yuggotamian. If Chang was Yuggotamia, Norm wondered, why did Man-DIE want to avenge its destruction? She didn't seem to love Chang, and Chang didn't seem to love her either.

Norm groaned. Everyone liked Turner, didn't they? Everyone wanted him on their team. But, he just didn't understand it.

He figured that he had to return to Chester with the clone soon, though he could offer it to Chang and Man-DIE. Norm decided that the clone might not work as well as the real Turner for defeating whatever-destroyed-Yuggotamia – and that would be life threatening, and he'd much rather have the real Turner die than his clone.

Then, Norm realized that it was a school day. Chester was at school. He was in no danger. He decided not to POOF there, since Chester probably didn't need or want him there. Their last conversation had indicated that Chester didn't need or want him anywhere.

Norm GONGed back to Chester's mobile home, and cleaned it in a super-fast GONG. He checked his watch:

2:59

School was almost done. Chester would be home soon. Norm wondered if his Turner Clone was believable to Chester. He hoped so.

Speaking of the Clone, he had left it in the baseball field.

POOF!

The Clone appeared beside him. Norm practiced his lie about saving Turner from the Darkness till it sounded one hundred percent believable, even to people that knew him well.

As soon as he finished his twentieth practice, Chester entered the mobile home.

"Timmy?" he asked in surprise. "How'd you escape the Darkness?"

"Norm saved me," replied the Clone. "He totally rocks!"

Norm checked Chester's expression. Chester seemed not to believe the Clone. He obviously knew a lot more about Norm than Norm thought he did.

"We became pals in the Darkness," lied Norm. "Shared trauma, and all."

"OK, I guess," replied Chester, sounding unsure.

Calais heard Norm and Chester's conversation from inside his lamp. Norm was pals with Timmy now? Norm had saved Timmy? She had to check for herself.

She GONGed out of the lamp.

Norm was glad to see her, but he wondered if she'd see through his deception.

Timmy didn't metaphorically feel right. He metaphorically felt like genie magic. Genie magic. Norm had enchanted Timmy.

"Norm, I want to talk to you. Alone!"

Norm groaned. She had obviously seen through his deception.

GONG!

Norm and Calais appeared in his lamp. Norm groaned in distaste. He hated that place.

"Why did you enchant Timmy?"

"Whoa, whoa," replied Norm. "I did not enchant Turner. That's a clone."

"Lying to your godson, are you, Norm?"

"Well, yeah," replied Norm. "If you want to get honest about, then yeah, I am."

"No, I want you to get honest about it," replied Calais. "Tell Chester what you did, then quit."

"Quit?" asked Norm. "Do you seriously think I'd quit? Do you seriously think I'd give up my freedom? Or my happiness? Or my godkid?"

Calais didn't expect the last item to be on the list. Norm cared about Chester?

"So, you won't let an Eliminator suck up Chester, like when it sucked up Timmy?" asked Calais uncertainly.

"Of course I wouldn't," replied Norm. "Do you really think I'd want to lose Chester, the kid that I gave up a semi-comfy life as an Anti-Fairy for?"

Now, that Calais didn't know.

"You and Chester are the only two people on My List of People I Care About," continued Norm. "If you think I'd harm either of you, you're mistaken. And you'd agree with about one hundred percent of everyone that exists, existed, or will exist."

Norm's tone had become increasingly bitter as he said that, and his last sentence overflowed with it.

Norm did care about them, Calais now knew. However, that didn't mean he wouldn't harm anyone else.

"Harming random people," continued Norm, guessing her worries. "That's so last year. That's so dumb. That's so barbaric. Alright, basically, my next godkid won't be in any danger either. I want to keep my job, right?"

Calais sighed in relief. Norm was only dangerous to Turner. However, she figured it would be hard to convince Chester of that.

"Also, I didn't call the Eliminator or anything like that. It just happened to be there, and I decided not to help Turner. After seeing the Pixies try to kill Chester, I know that actively harming Turner would be … well, the best word for it … wrong. However, when the Eliminator came, I decided since I wasn't actively harming Turner … so yeah."

Norm's tone sounded surprisingly honest. Calais guessed it had taken a lot of nerve for him to tell the truth like that.

"Gumball, I think it's time for you to be a hero again," said Calais. "If you save the real Turner from the Darkness, Chester might trust you again."

"Save my worst enemy?" asked Norm. "You do not know what he did to me."

"Typical master stuff, I presume?"

"Yeah, but worst," replied Norm. "He reamed me with smoof, tacks, and bees. He psyched me into my lamp on Mars."

"Reamed? Psyched? Can you please drop the seventies slang, and tell me what he did to you in plain English?"

"He beat the crud out of me with smoof, tacks, and bees. He tricked me into my lamp on Mars."

"And what did you do to him?"

"I messed up his wishes," replied Norm. "I trapped his fairy god 'rents in my lamp, and peeled out–"

"Minus the slang."

"I trapped his fairy godparents in my lamp, and prepared to GONG away."

"Anything else?"

"I tried to wipeout – I mean kill – Turner with Crocker."

"And you think he's in the wrong?"

"Yeah."

"Nope, you're in the wrong," replied Calais. "Turner never harmed me. Chester likes Turner."

Norm wasn't sure if Calais was right or not. If she were, he'd have to save Turner. If she were wrong, he wouldn't have to save Turner from the Darkness. He didn't want to save Turner, so he hoped she was wrong. However, if he were ever forced in doing so, he definitely would want her to be right.

"I guess I'll save Turner if I find the Darkness or another Eliminator."

Norm tried to POOF out of his lamp, but his wand flickered and died. Norm groaned. His wand was out of power. Something was definitely going on in Fairy World. Luckily, he had genie powers, but he needed Chester's permission to do big things with him. However, GONGing out of his lamp was no big thing, and he did so easily.

He supposed that the universe wasn't safe yet. Saving it might earn back Chester's trust, without saving Turner. Or at least that was what he hoped.