Warnings: slash, crude language, aimless, short

Disclaimers: I do not own xxxHOLiC or the associated characters; they belong to the ever-so-wonder CLAMP and associates, of which I am not one (sadly). Written for violet-phoenix-rose's Calendar Challenge on HPFC.

Satsuki: Fast

Doumeki hadn't done anything about his little revelation back in May. Not only was he aware that it would make Watanuki freak out more than usual and probably never talk to him again (which might save his cochlea some damage in the future), but there had been no opportunity to do so.

Mostly because, just as quickly as Doumeki realized that he could, potentially, reciprocate Watanuki's affections, Watanuki was talking to him again. The base volume had risen from normal talking level to just-below-shouting, and his angry rants were violent enough in elocution that Doumeki couldn't get a word in edgewise.

Even his usual attention getter – the intentionally irksome "Oi" – couldn't pierce the veil of pure sound that radiated from Watanuki whenever Doumeki dared get within hearing distance.

"And then Yuuko made me dust the entire shop!" Watanuki grumbled; at the new volume settings, a grumble was more like a five on a scale of ten rather than the previous two or three, and a shout had escalated from an eight to ten.

"Not that she doesn't always," Watanuki's scowl did not lift from his face, "but you'd think that magic magnetically attracted dust or something for how often I have to dust that place! I don't dust my apartment half as often!"

Doumeki tried not to pay attention, really he did. His fingers were situated firmly in his ears to prevent the loss of too many of the little hairs that helped his brain register sound. He remembered from one of his classes that sudden sharp noises could snap them right over, and that certain levels of sound consistently would do the same. A baby's scream for two hours would render someone deaf, and he was pretty sure that being on the ground during an airplane take-off without those huge noise-canceling headphones would have the same result.

Watanuki probably registered more toward the "plane lifting off" end of that spectrum, and was therefore rather harder to ignore than he had been prior to the revealing of the crush.

"It was horrible that Himawari-chan wasn't in today!" Watanuki wailed his discontent loud enough for the whole city to hear. "I hope she isn't sick; it's monsoon season, which can't be good for her health. I'll bring some chicken soup! But what if I mess it up? No, I won't because it's for Himawari-chan. Maybe I can get Yuuko to let me off early so I can make the soup! But then Yuuko will want some. She's so greedy! And Larg will probably hound after me... Mugetsu will be on my side though, if I give him some of the chicken, and Himawari-chan likes Mugetsu.

"But what if she's insulted by the chicken because of Tanpopo? Is Tanpopo related to chicken? I mean, he's a bird, but I know parrots will eat chicken if you feed it to them and..."

It took a while for Doumeki to notice that the volume had gone down and that it might be safe to unplug his ears. He did so, warily, but as there wasn't an immediate reprimand for having plugged them in the first place he felt the caution superfluous and so dropped his arms.

Unfortunately for him, it was the area in which his hand had been dropped that posed a problem. Watanuki happened to be flailing his arms nearby, and one of the limbs happened to make contact with Doumeki's falling appendage.

Predictably, Watanuki freaked out.

"What the hell is WRONG WITH YOU?!" Doumeki winced at the volume as Watanuki's vocal cords decided that ten wasn't loud enough and went all the way up to eleven. "DON'T TOUCH ME! I DON'T LIKE YOU! I HATE YOU WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING!"

After that point, Doumeki couldn't hear any more. He didn't plug his ears – that would have helped in the least – but he suddenly couldn't hear anymore of what Watanuki was saying.

Had he actually gone deaf?

But Watanuki was still red and flailing and drawing attention from the few passerbies on their route. And Doumeki had to make sure it was just a temporary deafness.

So, quickly, he thought up an excuse to dash off without Watanuki noticing. Yuuko's shop was only one block away, so Watanuki was safe...

"Hey Kunogi," Doumeki waved. Watanuki turned on his heel to face the girl-who-wasn't-actually-there, face splitting into a grin, and Doumeki ran for it.

There was a phrase Doumeki had heard once that could perfectly describe his friend... something along the lines of having a "red-headed temper and an ADD attention span". Well, whether that was right or not, it was accurate.

When Doumeki got home, he could hear a set of wind chimes on the porch and was pleased to note he could hear again.

Though if it meant hearing what Watanuki had been shouting about... he wasn't sure he wanted to.

Author's Note: Kudos to anyone who catches the Spinal Tap reference (my dad was watching it last night... I've seen that film far too many times). Meant to get this out earlier in the week, but technically it isn't late. And I think I deserve some leeway 'cause I've been writing other stuff too... and I've been reading a lot.

Aaaanyway... yeah. This story is officially half complete :D The July installation will be out in – who would have thought? – July, so you'll have to wait a few weeks.