Chapter 3: The Demon King Noboru

Wow… I am just… so sorry… for anyone who's been waiting on this. I have just had so much shit going on… I just got out of school, I've been training to compete in Martial Arts Tournaments, I've been writing an actual book (As in one I might get actual money for…) Just all of that… made me forget I even write fanfiction… I am just… so sorry…

At any rate, here's the next chapter. I'm typing this before I write it, so I'm just going to say that I really hope it turns out well, partially to make up for the long wait and partially because I feel like the story thus far has not been my best work (I haven't made it as funny as most of my fics, and I don't feel as though I have accurately captured the Ranma mystique and experience), and I owe a lot more than that to you, to Rumiko Takahashi, who owns all this crap and not I, to the characters of the Ranma universe, who have brought me so much joy, and to myself. So, without further ado, I present chapter 3 of my Ranma story.

Happosai laid upon the Tendo couch, writhing in pain as Kasumi tended to his injuries. Akane couldn't bear to look at the old man like this. Granted, her memories of him were not… fond ones… but to see him like this was just pathetic. The old man, once filled with such pride and energy (and perversion) was now a shell of his former self. True, he'd had the crap beaten out of him time and time again, but this was different. This was the first time he'd faced anyone in an actual martial arts battle and been completely beaten. It seems his pride was even more fragile than Ranma

Speaking of Ranma, the boy sat at the kitchen table, looking at the perverted master out of the corner of his eye, trying to focus as much as he could on his seafood. The truth was he still wanted to fight. It was just who he was. He was born a martial artist and all he ever knew was fighting, and this only added fire to the flames. His desire to avenge his grandmaster and friend (As a character in a very similar manga once said "A horrible friend is still a friend") and the excitement of fighting someone stronger than Happosai were almost too much to bear. But in the end, he knew it was best to stay out of it. All fighting ever did for him was create more problems. So, no matter how much he may want to beat this guy (or sock Kuno for molesting Akane) he knew it was best to stay out of it.

"Master, who did this to you?" Genma asked, concerned that whoever beat up Happosai may very well be after him.

Happosai folded his arms and assumed a very grim expression. "It was none other than… Noboru…"

"… Who's Noboru?" Soun asked.

"Didn't you kids ever listen to me when I was training you!?!" Happosai shouted in anger.

"We tried, but we were too tired from getting beaten up after stealing panties for you…" Genma explained.

"Noboru is the King of Demons. He's the most vile, despicable, evil force in the entire universe…"

"I thought that was you old perv…" Ranma interjected.

Happosai didn't even bat an eyelash at the insult. "This is no time for jokes Ranma. Noboru came to me looking for you…"

Akane's eyes widened. "He wants Ranma? Why?"

"He says he wants vengeance on Ranma for something. What it is, I'm not sure, but I do know that he's out to kill Ranma," Happy explained.

"Ranma what did you do now?" Nabiki asked, irritated at yet another problem that probably had little potential for profit.

"Like I know. Haven't you people figured out that I never actually know what the Hell I've done?" Ranma shouted in retaliation, quickly losing his temper. He was already stressed enough from ass-kicking withdrawal. He didn't need this.

Happosai breathed deeply. "Well, whatever it is, you'd better remember fast. Hopefully you can find a way to apologize before he guts you alive."

Ryoga, for one, had had enough. "Old man, I don't think you need to worry about Ranma. After all, he beat that Saffron guy didn't he? And he was immortal. And it wouldn't be the first time he's tangled with demons. Besides, if anyone's going to crush Saotome's skull, it's going to be me…"

Why could these people not learn? "Ryoga, I ain't fighting anyone. I've given up fighting. Remember?"

"Ranma, this is no time to become a pacifist!" Happosai shouted. "If you don't beat Noboru, or find some way to ease his anger, which I doubt you can, he'll just keep picking off your friends."

"In case you haven't noticed, old freak, my friends ain't exactly average people. One can fire energy blasts out of his hands, one can send a grown man flying with a hammer she pulls out of nowhere, one has a gigantic razor sharp spatula, one has a 300 year old ghoul as a bodyguard, and one carries weapons around in his shirt. I think they can handle themselves…"

"What about Kuno?" Akane asked

"Kuno's pretty much screwed…" Ranma replied.

"Oh Akane Tendo," quothe the aforementioned idiot, who appeared suddenly, arms tight around her waist, "Fear not for me, as the Vile Saotome underestimates the power of the great Tatewaki Kuno. No harm may come to me, so long as I gain strength from having you in my heart"

Needless to say, Akane sent Kuno flying very quickly. "Oh, harm will come to you alright…" she muttered angrily.

"Is there anything you need grandfather Happosai?" Kasumi asked, delicately rubbing the old man's head. He pulled the blanket over his head, and turned to the side.

"Please… just leave me alone… I've tried to run from it for so long, but it seems that it finally happened. Time has passed me by… I had a good long run, but in the end, the older generation must step aside and allow the younger one to take its place… I've carved many tunnels, and all I can hope is that those who come after me choose the better ones I dug to go down…"

"Happosai…" Akane muttered.

"Don't pity me child… It's a day I knew would come. I've lived a long life, and done terrible things. I have no illusion about what awaits me. A lifetime of hedonism must be answered with an eternity of despair in the afterlife..."

Akane had never seen this side of the old man. A tear welled up in his eye. It wasn't the kind he used when he feigned innocence. It was a genuine tear of sadness, and maybe even regret. Underneath all the evil and lust, Happosai really was a human being with emotions like all the rest. He wasn't a monster so full of itself that it did whatever it pleased. He was a man who'd given into his vices for so long, he knew that the afterlife fast approaching him was not a pleasant one, and who felt as though he could not possibly atone, and so sought comfort within those vices, as they were all he'd ever known.

An endless cycle of self-loathing.

"Is there anything I can do for you Grandfather Happosai?" She asked, taking him by the hand. He looked at her, really looked at her for the first time. He did not undress her with his eyes or plan some horrible fate for her. He simply looked into her eyes, and made contact with her soul.

"Well, you could let me have a good cry in your bosom…"

No, he really was just a dirty old man. There was no doubt of that as Akane kicked him through a hole in the ceiling.

Ryoga had ignored the entire scene. After Ranma's dismissal of the threat to his life, all he could do was glare at him with complete disgust and hatred. "Ranma… I am just… so disappointed in you!!!" he shouted as he walked out the door. Akane gave Ranma one last look before she ran after the eternal lost boy. It really was true. Ranma had given up fighting for good. And without fighting, Ranma had no more passion for anything it seemed. The Ranma she'd known-and even thought she may have loved-was gone. Her heart breaking in two, she focused all of her power on catching up with the eternally lost boy.

One by one, the many friends and family members left, until Ranma was all alone. As the awkward mix of pain and embarrassment welled up in his stomach, Ranma picked up his chop-sticks and stuffed a shrimp into his mouth to quell the pangs of guilt.

Meanwhile, Ryoga marched out of the Tendo's front yard, violently shaking his fist. Over the years, Ranma had evolved from an enemy to a rival to something of a best friend. To see him acting like this made Ryoga… furious!

"Ryoga?"

His heart skipped a beat. As it always was when he heard that voice, all of Ryoga's anger melted away. "Ah, Akane. What is it?" he asked, a soft smile betraying mixed emotions.

"What are you going to do now?" she asked, gripping at her shirt.

"If Ranma's not going to deal with this problem, I'll have to take care of it myself…" he answered.

"No!" she cried out, grabbing onto him and burying her face in his chest. Ryoga blinked in confusion as tears soaked his shirt. "Ranma's been so… detached lately, so unlike himself… I've already lost him. I don't want to lose you too. You're my best friend; I can't lose you too…"

Ryoga sighed. He grabbed Akane in a hug and wiped her tears away with his hand. "You're not going to lose me Akane. I don't plan on fighting this thing alone. I'm not stupid like Ranma…"

Akane looked up at Ryoga. He was staring her in the face, smiling a warm smile he always seemed to reserve just for her. She smiled back, reassured that her friend would not be leaving her for good.

"Akane…" he began, snapping her out of her trance. "I don't deserve a friend like you…"

Now it was Akane's turn to be confused. "Ryoga, what are you…?" Akane couldn't finish, as she felt Ryoga press his forehead to hers. In slow motion, she could see him growing closer and closer. Suddenly, the touch of his lips was upon hers.

Akane couldn't possibly describe the sensation. It was a very simple, chaste kiss, yet it conveyed a powerful rush of emotion and passion. She could feel her very skin tingling with electricity. It was just like how she had read in all of those romance novels.

And yet, at the same time, something about it felt… off, like it just wasn't right, as though she knew that out there was something better. She loved Ryoga, but not like that. It wasn't even like the love between siblings. It was a tender, innocent love, which was so beautiful and perfect, but was too weak to bear the weight of a relationship. In the end, as good as it felt, as much as she loved it, she knew that inside, at its very core, it was hollow, empty. And so she pushed Ryoga away from her and turned back towards the house.

Even without looking at him, she could feel Ryoga's eyes fixed on her, filled with pain and a range of other emotions. She became flustered, trying to explain. She felt she owed him at least that much. "I'm… I'm sorry… I just can't… I don't know why but…"

"You still love him." He said, cutting her off. Akane's eyes opened as wide as they could. "Ryoga…" she whispered, knowing that nothing she said could mend the pain he must be feeling.

"It's okay…" he said, half-chuckling. "I know. You still love him. Even though he's changed so much, even though he's not even himself anymore, on the slight chance that he may come back one day, you still love him. And I completely understand. I tried to fool myself, but I knew that this day would come. I just didn't think I should leave without telling you."

Akane whipped around quickly. "Ryoga. You say that like I'm never going to see you again…"

Despite Akane's interruption, Ryoga continued as though he had not heard her. He reached into his shirt and pulled out a heart-shaped locket. He opened it and placed it in Akane's hands. It contained two pictures. On the left, Ryoga was holding Akari, his girlfriend, close to him. They were sitting beneath a tree, cuddled up together. She had placed her head on the nape of his neck and was playfully twirling his hair. Ryoga was squeezing her gently, stroking her back. She had such an innocent smile. And Ryoga? If anyone other than Akane saw the locket, they wouldn't have even known it was him. He was positively beaming. She'd never seen him so happy before.

On the right was a picture of Ryoga with Akane. She could remember the day that picture was taken so perfectly. They were in one of those photo-booths the Americans had come up with in the mall. They were smiling and sticking their tongues out, with their arms around each other making the "V for victory sign". She giggled a little at the silly image.

"There are two things I've never been able to do in my life…" he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear. "First… I've never been able to find where the Hell I'm going." The two laughed, admittedly a little louder than the joke deserved. "The second," he stated, once their laughter had died down, "was decide…"

"Ryoga…" she mumbled, feeling guilty about hurting her friend.

"But it looks like you decided for me… Like I said, it's alright…" he took her by the hand, comforting her, "Ranma will go back to normal. I promise… He loves you too much"

At that, Ryoga picked up his umbrella and threw the cape and hood he always wore while traveling over his neck. "Hang onto that locket for me. That way you'll have to see me again. I need to get my locket back after all." He shouted, waving behind him as he walked off into the sunset. Akane smirked at the display of manliness, as she clutched the locket to her chest.

He had seen it…

He couldn't hear what they were saying, but he had definitely seen it.

He had seen Ryoga and Akane kissing.

Out of embarrassment and shock, he'd hidden to the side of the window, too scared to move. When he mustered up the courage to look back, he saw Ryoga giving her a locket, holding her hand, and walking off into the sunset as Akane clutched aforementioned locket to her chest.

It was official. Fighting and Akane were both gone from his life. Ranma Saotome had lost everything. Fighting back the tears, he sombered up to his room and locked himself inside.

Meanwhile, Noboru was marching through Nerima, scowling so evilly that it would have put 17th Century English knight "Richard the puppy-kicker" to shame. All the by-standers were frozen in fear at the sight of the 7 foot tall man, in crimson red battle armor, with a long black cape marching through the streets, as though just begging for someone to give him a reason to disembowel them.

HONK!!!

… Was that what he thought it was…?

HONK HONK!!! "GET OFF THE ROAD ASSHOLE!!!" HONK HONK!!!

Was a mere mortal actually thinking to not only yell at him, but to order him around?

Noboru turned to face the car. He walked to the door. The driver did not seem intimidated at all. "You got a problem with me jackass?" he asked, spitting in the demon king's face. His expression of defiance turned to terror as the door was ripped off its hinges. A cold, pale hand, with long, yellow finger-nails almost like claws reached in and grabbed the driver by the throat. Noboru held him in the air with one arm.

"Can you tell me where to find Ranma Saotome…?"

"I don't know who that is. Please put me down!!!"

"You give me orders a second time. You need to learn respect human."

"I'm sorry! Please! I beg your forgiveness!!!"

"You know, when I was young, my friends and I played a game where we would catch butterflies and rip their wings off. I miss that game… Let's see what we can rip off of you…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

It was very fortunate that Ryoga ran into Nabiki on his way off of their property. Without her help, he'd never have found the places he needed to go. One by one, Ryoga found all of the people he was looking for and recruited their help.

"Aiyah! Airen in danger? Shampoo help!"

"My beloved Shampoo is going to battle the terror of the king of demons. In the name of my love for her, I must protect her!"

"So, the vile Saotome has neglected his duties, and is now allowing a demon to run loose on the streets? Very well, the great Tatewaki Kuno shall assist you!"

"If Ranma-honey needs help, then the Okonomiyaki will have to wait…"

"I've spent my whole life telling Ranma what the duty of a martial artist is. Maybe it's time I lived up to my boasting."

"I will allow nothing to jeopardize my daughter's engagement!"

"Fine. I've been wanting a rematch with that foul beast anyway. He destroyed my beautiful treasures."

"Well, I suppose these old bones still have one more fight left in them. We'll see how this ancient demon handles 300 years of Amazon teachings…"

"You're going off to another fight?"

"Yes Akari…"

"Be careful Ryoga. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

"Don't worry. I'll be fine…"

"I love you Ryoga…"

"I love you too Akari… with all my heart."

The kiss was brief, but it contained so much emotion. So many promises; promises of dates and ice cream, promises of a family, promises of growing old together. In one, simple kiss, an entire lifetime of promises was exchanged. A warm feeling came over Ryoga's heart. This kiss was just as beautiful and wonderful as the one he and Akane had shared, but this one was different. This one was real.

As Ryoga led his troops towards the battlefield, he pointed to the sky with as much bravo and machismo as he could muster. "Alright everyone! We're going to see just how this king of demons handles the Nerima Wrecking Crew!!!"

"The Nerima Wrecking Crew?" Ukyo asked, blinking in disbelief.

"Yeah… That's us…" he explained.

"What kind of name that?" Shampoo asked in broken Japanese.

"Yeah, that's a horrible name…" Mousse agreed.

"Worst name I ever heard for an army, don't you think Saotome?"

"Well, except for 'The Z Warriors' Tendo."

"Fine, what do you want us to be called?"

"The Mighty Kuno Force!"

"No!"

"The Panty Brigade!"

"Certainly not!"

"Team Ranma?"

"He's not even here!!!"

"No, but he's still a member, right?"

"But he's a sniveling mess right now…"

The argument faded as the 'Nerima Wrecking Crew' marched into battle.

Well, what do you think? I'm not so sure. I like a lot of it, but there are parts I feel that are lacking. I really like the Ryoga/Akane scene. Normally I really suck with romantic dialogue, but that came out pretty well. I'd have to call that the highlight of this chapter.

Next time, Ryoga leads his friends into battle with Noboru, King of Demons. Meanwhile, Akane tries to snap Ranma out of his funk. Will our heroes succeed? Find out.

Oh noes! It turns out that Tom Cruise is actually a shape-shifting alien from the planet "Boofenwiesel" He's come to abduct us, as human spleens are a delicacy on his planet. He wants to sell us as food and pets! But hark! A button that says "review" Click it and use the power of your opinion of this chapter to tell Tom Cruise where he can stick Scientology and the planet "Boofenwiesel"!