The Contest…

Has been won by lovebug21. Congratulations. The ficlet will be out… eventually. … don't worry, I'll tell you when it's ready.

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Thank you Lovebug21, Jessi84, madysoncurrier, vivalavidaa, tbsavafob, and daxy for the reviews.

Announcement: I have a poll up. It will be up for a while. It has to do with the Halloween ficlet coming out late next month. Go vote.

I do not own or claim to own CSI: Miami characters. I do not own or claim to own CSI: NY characters. This is fanmade and I make absolutely no profit off of this. I do this for my own amusement.

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Chapter Thirteen: Thoughts

Horatio closed the door to the bedroom behind him. The smell of sex still hung lightly in the poorly ventilated room. More than anything, he just needed to lie down and think this through. He crawled into bed with his robe and lay there for a few seconds.

"He trapped me," Horatio whispered, trying to sort things out.

Maybe so, Horatio thought at himself, but I honestly doubt that he meant for things to get this far. The two of you wouldn't have been romantically involved if he didn't save your life, Horatio. Do you honestly think that he planned for you to fall thorough the ice?

"Well… maybe not. But he still put me in a position where he could easily take advantage of me".

He just wanted to spend some time with you, you obviously mean a lot to him. Think about it, whenever you two meet up in the lab you always get in a fight and it's always over something administrative and (in the whole scheme of things) trivial. Can you really build a relationship on that?

"What am I basing a relationship on now?"

I know you believe that you may be basing it all on sex, but here's what I think. Your entire life you had to be the guardian, everyone's protector. You looked after your mother, Ray, Yelina, Marisol, Ray Jr., not to mention everyone at work. And now, for the first time in your life, you have someone who just wants to look after you; someone who wants you to admit your fears so he can protect you from them. Why does this so disturbing? What's wrong with you?

"It feels awkward is all".

Everything feels awkward at first, from shoes to cities to people. Why don't you just give him a chance?

"Because I don't love him back… I… I just thought I did".

That's not true…

Horatio drew himself deeper under the covers and pressed the side of his face into the cool pillow. He lay perfectly still and was able to hear the soft sobs from the other room. He closed his eyes, pained by Rick's tears, before he got back to sorting things out for himself.

"He doesn't have many friends, does he?" Horatio observed sadly.

He always struck me as the sort who only needed a close few, which he probably has. But he never fails to always look pretty lonely, I bet his friends are all back in Oklahoma or NYC. Imagine it Horatio, nobody to go to the game with on the weekends, nobody to take on holiday, nobody to hold or go home to. He must feel pretty empty.

"As empty as I do?"

Rick hasn't encountered as much trauma as you have, I know that. But when you have a bunch of little things in life that go wrong and you don't have anyone to really talk to, they build up. You can't argue with the little things, Horatio, it's the little things that make up life.

Horatio drifted off, remembering all the small gestures that victims' families and his lovers gave him; knowing that he would be a completely different person without them. He heard Rick choke and sob again and a tear slid down the side of the redhead's face.

You can't say you don't care about him.

"Nobody should have to cry like that".

Look at you, crying alone in this room while he's crying alone in that room. If you would just walk in there and tell him everything is alright then neither of you would be alone nor crying. You can't even see that you two complete each other. How arrogant is that? Have you ever laughed so hard with anyone else? Have you ever even seen him truly smile before? No. You two are happy together, why can't you see that?

"But… he tricked me into a relationship".

For Christ's sake, get over yourself! He wouldn't have been able to "trick" you into anything if you didn't already somewhat want it in the first place. You know that! And I know that you know that the longer you stay in here, the more that he will beat himself up out there. So get out of bed, put on some clothes, and just talk to him. If he means anything to you, you would at least give him that dignity. Whatever you do, Horatio, don't leave him like this.

Horatio lay there for a moment or so, not quite sure of what to say when he confronts Rick, but knowing that he had to. He couldn't just let Rick get even more depressed about himself; God knows what would happen then.

***

Horatio slowly stepped out of the bedroom, still buttoning up his shirt as he did so. His crystal blue eyes scanned over the room before finally resting upon Rick's body, hunched over a tumbler full of scotch at the bar. Slowly he approached.

Rick turned his face away, wishing he could just disappear. He has never been known to try to drink his problems away, but now he was afraid that his love might see him as such. His mind turned back to all the interrogations that he watched Horatio perform. He wondered how much information Horatio will force out of him before they had to leave the cabin. It wasn't fair; he just wanted Horatio to be happy.

As Horatio approached Rick couldn't hold back a slight wince as his imagination started bombarding him with all the horrible things Horatio might say. Gently, tenderly, Horatio placed his hands upon the other man's arms. Rick stopped shaking as the redhead leaned in to softly kiss him on the cheek. Horatio lingered there, tasting the salt from Rick's tears against his lips.

As he pulled away he stopped to look at Rick. Rick had barely reacted to the kiss; he just kept his eyes locked down on his drink. He watched quietly Rick's eyes began to water. Instinctively, Horatio brought his lips to Rick's cheek and kissed him again. And again.

Before either man knew what was happening, they were in each other's arms, Horatio showering Rick with light kisses. Stetler whimpered as his tears began to fall again, only to be kissed away by the redhead.

"I'm sorry," Horatio sighed between kisses, "I over-reacted".

"No you didn't," Rick stammered out, happy to feel Horatio's lips against him again, "I shouldn't have forced this upon you".

"Don't apologize for that," Horatio whispered as he finally captured Rick's mouth, "If you didn't then we would have never been like this".

"You…you want to be with me?"

"Of course I do, Rick," Horatio sighed.

The kisses stopped, the two men stood in the middle of the room holding each other. Horatio nuzzled against Rick's neck for a few moments as he led him down onto the couch. They cuddled and gazed into the fire, holding hands like an old couple.

"Horatio," Rick whispered into the silence, "I love you more than anything".

"Nobody has ever been so good to me," Horatio said, sweetly kissing Rick's hand, "And I love you too".

They turned and looked into each other's eyes, Horatio's like the clearest day and Rick's like the darkest night. Stetler brushed his hand over the pale, freckled cheek of the other man; taking in the contrast of their bodies. Horatio ran his fingers though the deep brown hair of Rick Stetler, pulling him in and kissing his lips tenderly.

***

The mid-afternoon sun danced across the snow, making it sparkle and glare at all who passed. Mac Taylor trudged into the mid-mountain ski lodge, his face stinging with the bitter winds. The lodge was of an impressive size, with a full bar and several fireplaces. The heads of game stared down at him from their positions high on the walls. The soft and constant hum of chatter was a welcome change from the sole sound of his own breathing on the slopes.

Mac parked his skis on the rack and made his way over to the bar.

God I hate being in the middle of nowhere. Good thing I get to go back to New York tomorrow. Oh Christ, I still have to pack… go to that last spiel tomorrow morning… say goodbye to Horatio. Oh poor Horatio, trapped with his IAB. I hope he's been careful, I don't think I-

"- Hot cocoa," Mac said, interrupting his own thoughts as the barkeep approached him.

I don't think I would be able to trust Stetler. "Stetler"… that's an interesting last name. English? … meh, I'll look it up later. But I'm sure Horatio can take care of himself. I've seen him fight; it takes quite a bit to take him down. However, I can't say that I've ever seen him take on anyone who was sober. So what's really bothering me is-

"-Thank you," He murmured to the barkeep as he dove into his drink.

Is how impulsive Horatio could be. I remember how moody Horatio could be back in college. You catch him at the right time and he could turn on you in a heartbeat. I'm just afraid that he'd say or do something that would make IAB really look into him and his pas- and why do I always burn my tongue when I drink hot cocoa? You would think that I would know better by now but no, I don't.

I hope Stetler doesn't find out and blow what happened to H's father out of proportion. Oh God, I wish Horatio wouldn't obsess about that so often. I know he still goes to confessional over it. Poor kid, that's a lot of weight to carry. 35 years after he dies and his father still beats him every day, that's fucking relentless. I wish I could find a good shrink to talk to him before he snaps or something. He carries everyone's cross, doesn't he? Which reminds me, I have to tell him that Ray Jr. is back home; he'll be happy to hear that. But still… poor H.

And if Stetler dares to take that bit of information and hurt Horatio with it he will have to answer to me. I'll bust that arrogant little bastard's jaw, that's what I'll do. But I shouldn't get ahead of myself. …But if they get back later than 5 and/or Horatio has a scratch on his body I shall make sure that Stetler will regret it.