Harry slammed the bathroom door shut and brought his hand to his mouth to stop a sob escaping him, he had never been like this about a woman before, no woman had reduced him to tears like Nikki had. But the irony to Harry was that she had no idea how she affected him, they worked together every day and she still didn't understand how much she meant to him. With a lot of effort he steadied his emotions and decided to get ready for the day.

Nikki took a deep shuddering breath as she stood up from the floor and grabbed her coat before walking out of the bedroom, she was on a mission. Walking out of the house she made sure to close the door quietly and then made her way along the deserted early morning street and towards Arabella's house. She swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat and blinked away the tears as she thought back to hers and Harry's argument and a small sob escaped her lips. She knocked on Arabella's door knowing already that the woman would already be awake, everyone woke up early in this town Nikki had discovered. The door opened almost straight away and Arabella smiled at Nikki before spotting the distraught look on the blonde woman's face and her teary eyes.

"Nikki what's wrong? Come in"

Nikki gave the other woman a small sad smile and walked past her and through into the living room.

"Alec is already out so it is just us" Arabella informed Nikki as she walked into the room "Now what's wrong?"

Nikki didn't say anything but burst into tears again and allowed Arabella to pull her into her arms and comfort her. The other woman led Nikki over to the sofa and sat them both down at Nikki cried loudly.

"What's wrong Nikki?" Arabella asked again after a few minutes and Nikki pulled away from her and wiped her face while shaking her head.

"Me and Harry, we just..we had an argument"

"About what?" Arabella enquired "If you don't mind me asking"

"No it's fine" Nikki shrugged and took in a shaky breath "I thought there was a chance that I might be pregnant and I was so scared, I told Harry and he was understanding but.." Nikki shook her head again and let out a watery laugh "I don't think we..I..am cut out to be a parent, but.." she stopped talking and bit her lip

"And are you?" Arabella asked "Pregnant I mean"

"No" Nikki replied "and I felt myself so disappointed that I wasn't and that confused me a lot because I know I won't be a good mother"

"But you want to be a mother" Arabella continued and Nikki nodded and closed her eyes against more tears.

"I haven't thought about it much before but this has made me do so" she took a deep breath and laughed hollowly "I'm so confused right now"

"Don't think about it then" Arabella told Nikki and stood up "Would you like a drink?"

"Coffee please" Nikki responded "With a large bottle of some sort of alcohol"

"Harry lets you drink?" Arabella enquired and Nikki winced slightly, she didn't know their customs on alcohol. She just nodded. "Well I have to sneak alcohol when Alec isn't around"

"Why did you marry him?" Nikki asked as she stood up and walked through to the kitchen while her friend made their drinks.

"Convenience" the other woman shrugged "My father wanted me to marry and Alec wanted a wife, simple"

Nikki thought this was a bleak way of life and had to wonder if there was any love between Arabella and Alec like there was between her and...she stopped that thought as soon as it came and pushed it from her mind as Arabella handed her a mug of coffee.

------

Harry was disappointed when he came out of the bathroom and found that Nikki wasn't in the house, he had no idea where she would go in the town and let out a long sigh as he turned away from the window and walked out of the house. He met Adair on the way down the street and the older man stopped him with a wave.

"Ah Harry the police have arrived" the Scotsman said and must have caught the surprise on Harry's face "They don't really have much to do up here as you can imagine so they jump at the chance when something does come up"

Harry chuckled and nodded as both men started to walk down the street towards the hospital.

"Is everything alright between your wife and you?" Adair asked suddenly but Harry ignored the question and kept on walking "Because I saw her going into my son's house this morning, Arabella was the only one there of course, but she looked terribly upset"

Harry just shrugged and turned away from where he was looking at the house he knew Nikki was in.

"We had an argument" he stated simply but Adair kept on pushing for information

"About what may I ask?"

"Children" Harry replied and avoided Adair's look "We thought there could be a chance that Nikki is pregnant but she isn't and we argued over it"

"I apologise for pushing you" Adair inclined his head in Harry's direction and the younger man just turned away and shrugged.

-------

Nikki didn't go back to the house after she had come out of Arabella's that afternoon, instead she made her way along to the place where she and Harry had first shared a kiss. She sat herself down on the grass by the river and just watched the water flow past her all the time trying to block out the memories from the morning. After half an hour of sitting there Nikki stood and started on a walk further up the path, she soon lost track of time while she was up there and when she next looked at her watch it was nearly five o'clock and it was getting dark very quickly.

-----

Harry sat in the living room clutching a mug of coffee tightly in his hands, he kept glancing at the clock and then the door hoping that Nikki would walk through it. It was already six o'clock and pitch black outside and no-one had seen Nikki all afternoon. Harry had gone to Arabella's when Nikki hadn't come home and had been told that Nikki had left just after twelve o'clock that afternoon. Harry heard the front door open and slammed his mug on the table as he jumped up and ran into the hall just in time to see Nikki close the front door.

"God Nikki" he breathed and pulled a shocked Nikki into his arms and pressed a kiss onto her head "Where the hell were you?" he asked loudly as he broke away just as quickly and walked into the living room with Nikki following "No-one has seen you all afternoon"

"I went for a walk" Nikki explained "and I lost track of time"

"You scared me" Harry admitted as he wrapped his arms around her again, Nikki hesitantly wrapped her arms around his waist and lay her head on his chest feeling safer than she had in a while now she was back in his arms "I thought something might have happened"

"I'm sorry for scaring you" she whispered against his chest "I just needed some time alone"

"I'm sorry for everything I said this morning" Harry told her as he pressed another kiss onto her head.

"You didn't say anything wrong Harry it was me" Nikki replied "and I'm sorry for bringing Penny up again and for saying that you'd leave me"

"That's alright" Harry chuckled and rested his cheek on her head "I'll just put it down to PMS, now can we stop apologising to each other?"

Nikki let out a small giggle and looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest.

"I love you" she said suddenly catching Harry of guard but a grin spread over his face when he processed what she had said and he leant down to kiss her.

"I love you too"

I just couldn't keep them mad at each other for . I am going to start re-typing 'Balance' soon and uploading an updated version because seriously the old version is actually cringe worthy when I read it back now..and it was my first fanfic ever so you have to excuse the crapness. lol! XD

xxx