First, I'd like to apologize for the lack of updates. School has kept me very busy lately. I don't plan on taking a huge hiatus like before, but what happens will happen. A new chapter will be out soon, which is when I'll explain, in greater detail, why updates are taking so long.

Right, well, this was originally supposed to be part of chapter 7, but it came out really stupid, so it was cut. It was, however, pretty funny, so I've included it as an Omake.

Please note that this was written before I decided to change the story significantly, so it will contradict the story at several points. This is not meant to be taken seriously in the least. It is one gigantic farce.

Omake: Ranma and Ranko

Fighting. Training. Akane. It didn't matter anymore. At this point, Ranma had given up hope that he'd ever be able to find happiness again. He truly had gone full emo… He couldn't even find a reason to fight anymore, and he'd driven away his only friends. What was the point of trying to fix it? Maybe he should just go away somewhere. Maybe he could find somewhere new to live.

That was it. All his life he'd traveled from one place to another. All these problems were just the product of staying in one spot for too long. He'd pack up his bags and find a new life in a new place, where Ranma Saotome wasn't needed, just welcome. A place without fighting, or martial arts, or fiancées.

Ranma ran to his room, with more passion than he'd had in a while. He had a plan now. First, hop a train to Hokkaido. Then he'd stow away on board a plane to some western country. Once he was there, he'd open a small business selling hair care products. After all, no matter who you are, you need Shampoo…

…

Okay, new plan. Hokkaido. Plane. Open up a quaint little bistro. He'd sell Sandwiches. With all the works. Lettuce. Cheese. Ham…

…

Okay, forget the ham. No pig-related products in his bistro! If you want meat, you'll need some kind of fowl, like chicken or turkey or possibly duck…

…

Okay, forget the bistro. He'd sell pizza. After all, it's just American Okonomiyaki…

…

Oh for Kami's sake! You know what? He'd be homeless! Just wandering the country. Yeah! And he'd make a few coins telling the foreigners stories about Japan, with its hot springs, and electronics, and Samurai…

…

Damn it! You know what? He was just going to dig a hole, crawl in it, and not talk to anyone ever!

"You, my friend, are really starting to lose it…"

"Wha-?" Ranma gasped, shocked to hear the mysterious voice. Turning to the source, Ranma was shocked to see… Ranma… or, more specifically, Ranko.

"Hi Ranma! Wow, the two of us haven't talked in a while, huh?" she blurted out, giggling like a bubbly little idiot.

"Um… Who are you? And why do you look like me?" he asked. A normal person would be shocked, but quite frankly, weirder things had happened to him.

"I am you silly!" she answered.

"But I'm me…" he replied, a bit unintelligently…

"I'm your feminine side!"

"Oh, I don't have one of those. Pops beat it out of me when I was 6. I think you're looking for Ryoga… the pansy…"

"Oh, you didn't lose me silly. You just repressed me deep into the deepest, darkest, coldest nether-regions of your soul…"

"I don't understand…"

"That's because you're an idiot…"

"I resent that!"

"Just like Akane resents you calling her uncute, and how Ryoga resents you knocking him into a cursed spring, and Mousse resents you stealing his woman, and Shampoo and Ukyo resent you leading them on, and…"

"Okay, that's enough! And I don't lead Shampoo and Ukyo on!"

"No, you just love Akane, but don't sit them down and tell them it's not gonna happen, so thanks to your cowardice, they keep going on thinking they have a shot, which you know will only make it hurt worse when you finally tell them that they've wasted two years of their lives chasing after a single guy. Seriously, they're supposed to be your friends! As far as trying to let them down goes, you've been more cruel to them than you've been to the Kuno's."

"You know what? This is pointless, because you're not real! You're just a fig tree of my imagination!"

"Figment Ranma… Figment…"

"I can't hear you, because you don't exist!"

"If you'd just admitted I existed, I wouldn't exist."

"What?"

"Ranma, have you ever noticed how Jusenkyo curses seem to be custom made for the person who receives them? Your dad is fat and lazy, so he turns into a panda. Mousse is a dork, trying to be cool, so he turns into a duck, which everyone knows wants to be a swan1. Shampoo is cute, yet devious, so she turns into a scheming little cat. Ryoga's starved for affection, so he turns into a cute, loveable piglet."

"What about Pantyhose Taro?"

"Well… That one was actually just a random accident… But the point is, Jusenkyo is magic in more ways than one. When you're fated to fall in a spring, and it is fate, your cursed form is something of a window into your soul. So, Ranma, since you repress all your feelings, you fell into the spring of drowned girl, since girls love to talk about their feelings."

"So, the reason I can see you now is… I've gone crazy…"

"No, this has nothing to do with the fact that you've gone crazy. As it turns out, you've been repressing so much lately that you're liable to get a brain tumor…"

"A what?"

"A brain tumor… So, your subconscious mind has created cute little me."

"And you're supposed to do what, exactly?"

"Get you to stop being a douchebag."

"Excuse me?"

"Ranma, you are an idiot…"

"So I've been told…"

"And because of that, you do stupid things. You say things without actually thinking. You piss people off. You make enemies with nearly everyone you meet."

"That's not true!"

"You do not have one single friend that has not tried to kill you in the past. You start fights over the most pointless stuff, and get your ass kicked."

"Hey!"

"And now you do this. You decide to become a pacifist, because you think that all of your problems are caused by fighting. But they're not Ranma… They're caused by your father…"

"My father?"

"Yeah! Your father's the one who engaged you to all those women, got you cursed at Jusenkyo, wouldn't let you see your mom most of your life, and threw you into a pit of cats with fish-sausages around your neck. I think the solution's pretty obvious…"

"It is…?"

"Yes, you need to kill your father…"

"… I do…?"

"Yes, but first, you need to save your friends."

"What's the point?"

"The point is to not be an asshole! Your friends are risking their lives for you right now, you ungrateful bastard!!! Do you have any idea how miserable you'd be without Ryoga and Mousse and Shampoo and Ukyo and Akane… and I guess Kuno…?"

"Look, this is really starting to make me uncomfortable, so I'm just gonna go dig that hole…"

Ranko began slapping Ranma across the face repeatedly, "WHY ARE YOU SO THICK!?!"

"What'd you do that for!?!"

"Why are you so determined to drive everyone away from you!?!"

"I don't have to deal with this…"

"Yes you do damn it! People care about you Ranma! And you care about them! But you're so damn stubborn that you can't admit you were wrong and man up! Stop being a coward and deal with your troubles!"

"You're a fig tree of my imagination!"

"IT'S FIGMENT YOU LITTLE DUMB-ASS!!!"

"Why do you even care what I do?"

"Brain tumor, stupid! Brain tumor!"

"Look! If I go fight the demon, will you shut up and leave me alone!?!"

"For now…"

"Fine! See you later!"

"Sure thing!" Ranko chuckled, returning to her girly ways. "And don't forget what I told you about your father!"

With that, Ranko faded back into Ranma's subconscious, as the martial arts legend walked off towards one last battle.

Well, it is what it is… Tell me what you thought.