I'm so incredibly sorry to have taken this long to update, but in my defense I live in Miami and it's so unbelievably hot right now my computer suffered a heat stroke and perished!!! I lost everything, including what I'd written of this chapter already. Sorry, again.
Thank's for reviewing: Defunkitated Vampires, emroseliz, LimitedBannerMaker, What-About-Jacob and wish upon a cullen. For alerting: becki16 and nikkireedkellanlutzfanpire.
For favoriting: Emmy-Bear Loveer. Thanks to Amelia 123 and just4fun4 for favoriting me as an author, :P
Thank also to Karen for being so helpful and nice.
A little shout out to Channy for being an awesome beta and friend! She puts up with me and my crap.
This chapter is dedicated to wish upon a cullen (Hannah), because her power of perception is incredible!!!
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Trisomy 21
Not all newborns look alike, I knew that well, however a slight resemblance between them wasn't uncommon.
Aaron didn't look like any other baby I'd even seen or held.
When Katherine had been born some of her parents' features were discernable in her. She had Alice's hair and Jasper's eyes, some of her grandparents was also in her.
I couldn't find any of Emmett or myself in our son.
There was something about him, how his eyes were slanted, almost almond shaped, and how all his features, from his mouth to his ears to his chin were a bit too small. His virtually bald head was a bit too small as well.
Red flags were raised against in my mind; there was something wrong with my son. And though I couldn't pin point exactly what it was, I knew it was true.
But then my hand connected with his skin… and nothing else mattered.
My mind and body finally caught up with the fact that in my arms lay my son, what I always wished to have, whom I'd waited months to meet. And though the doubts of his physical appearance didn't disappear, they did dispel, in that moment I couldn't care, he could look however he wished to look and I'd love him simply because he was mine, because he made me what I always hoped I could be: a Mother.
My vision got blurry and my joy took on a teary nature. My cheeks, which were tear- stained and probably blotchy, got moist again. Sobs broke through me and my breath came in gasps, and though I was too far gone to really notice I'm pretty sure I wailed quite loudly.
Leaning down, ignoring the slight pain I felt at that movement, I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to his forehead.
And I never felt happier.
I felt a hand on my back and my eyes instantly opened to find Emmett leaning forward, looking down at me and Aaron. His big form was no match for the smile that graced his lips.
Slowly he sat on the bed as best he could and reached out a large hand to touch our son. He smile only got bigger when his finger came in contact with Aaron's velvet cheek. His eyes met mine and I saw in them an intensity I'd never seen before. A kind of fervor that made me almost blush.
I was used to people looking at me, I was used to seeing anything from jealousy to admiration when they took in my face, or my body, or any other part of me. But never had I seen the absolute devotion in anyone's gaze that I was seeing in my husband's eyes now. He looked as if I'd just saved his life, as if I'd just opened the gates of Heaven for him.
His stare went from me to Aaron. His eyes softening. "Hey, there champ." He said in as soft a tone as he could muster given his natural loudness. His finger moved to one of Aaron's hand and we watched almost in awe as he instantly closed his tiny fist around his Father's finger. It was so small it didn't even close around it, but it was beautiful to see him try. "A football player's grip, definitely." Emmett consented.
I laughed breathlessly remembering how we decided he would be a football player from all his kicks back in my belly. I moved back to remind Emmett of it when I saw him looking at me again, his face serious, his gaze intense once more. "Thank you," was all he said before descending his lips on mine.
I gulped loudly, not knowing how to appropriately react to his heavy words and shuffled a bit so he could get a chance to meet our baby as well. I watched in fascination as his body strained with effort, his face contorted with apprehension and his hands fumbled to correctly allow our son to rest in his arms. It was endearing to see him, the eternal child, sober up and become a Father, and even though I didn't tell him, he was an absolute natural at holding Aaron.
One after one our family walked into the room to hug and congratulate us. Some more loudly than others, but all radiating joy at the newest addition.
Flower arrangements, balloons and stuffed animals were placed all over the room and smiles were etched on everyone's faces.
Aaron was passed to everyone and he was accepted warmly by all. But when Carlisle- a doctor- held him some of the feelings of dread I successfully vanished before came back. I saw it, it was quick, brief, but I saw it. He saw the same thing I had, I saw his eyes widen while he looked down at the baby. His smile faltered slightly and he stifled a gasp. His eyes moved almost frantically, it looked almost as a medical inspection and not a grandparent's welcome. He shifted Aaron carefully to rest on one of his forearms and carefully he sought his hand and when he found it he moved it to look at his palm. He exhaled quietly and looked almost defeated.
"What's wrong, Carlisle?" I asked almost in fear.
Everyone else turned to look at him; they had somehow missed his examination by talking to one another and asking Emmett for details of the birth.
He was surprised at my direct approach and I was too. But I had suspicions I was afraid of confirming and though everyone else seemed to ignore them, I knew that Carlisle could see them too.
He composed his face rapidly. "Nothing, nothing's wrong… he's… nothing's wrong." He smiled warmly.
I didn't believe him.
He gave the baby back to Esme and excused himself from the room. My eyes followed his form until it disappeared. The dull sense of dread returned, and this time it didn't leave.
"It doesn't matter" Came from my mind. Whatever it is that's wrong, it doesn't matter. No matter what Carlisle said when he came back, or why it took so long for the nurses to bring him to me, or even my own sense of fear at him not being okay, it wouldn't matter. I tore my eyes away from the door, conviction replacing my fear immediately.
It doesn't matter.
I repeated that to myself like a mantra, as I held him again, as I fed him, as he was taken to the nursery, as my eyes closed for the night, those three little words helped me through everything.
Dawn broke through the window, hitting my eyes and waking me up. I was still sore but it was a welcoming pain.
A few minutes after being awaken by the sun and rubbing the sleep away from my eyes I buzzed a nurse in and asked if she could please bring my son in. I'd missed him.
It took a little longer than I thought it would but eventually the nurse walked through the threshold pushing a clear crib in front of her, my obstetrician right on her heels.
It doesn't matter.
"Morning!" the nurse said brightly.
"Morning." Emmett responded after a few minutes of silence. Puzzled by my mood.
The nurse quickly passed the baby to me and his presence calmed me. I focused on his eyes, which were on the verge of waking up. His eyelids presented incredible resistance but he kept fighting and I instantaneously felt proud when his eyes opened and didn't close again, he'd woken up in my arms.
The doctor asked the nurse for some privacy and came closer to us.
"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen," he started. "I'd like to have a word with you."
Emmett immediately straightened up but I kept my head down.
He drew in a heavy breath. "After the baby was born, he presented some characteristics that raised our concern. The suspicions were heightened when Dr. Cullen came to find me and we discussed the possibility of Aaron being sick. He seems to present features that are common in a certain illness, we decided it was better if we told you today so as not to burden you with these news when the baby had just been born, though that is normal procedure. There is a way to confirm it, with your consent we would like to take a blood test, as that is the easiest way. We'll test for it and within a week or two we should have the results. "
"What illness?" Emmett asked, his cheery tone gone.
"The medical term is 'Trisomy 21' or 'Trisomy G', but it's more commonly known as…" he trailed off.
"Yeah?" Emmett said, unaware that the doctor's next words would be a hard blow.
"Down Syndrome." The doctor finished and the room became silent.
~o~
It was a week and a half after Aaron had been born and yesterday we received a call from the hospital, the results were in.
It was hard discussing it with the family, but they all showed their support. Carlisle apologized for intruding and for not making us aware before, but he said that while his medical side was strong, his grandfather side won out the battle and he opted for letting us be naive a little longer.
I didn't tell him that the second I laid eyes on him I knew there was something wrong.
Still, it doesn't matter.
Our quiet footsteps seemed too loud walking down the quiet hall to the doctor's office.
Hand in hand, Emmett and I would learn our son's fate.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
I briefly closed my eyes when we reached the door and Emmett knocked softly, he opened the door and we got inside.
I found myself sitting down without even remembering how.
The doctor started with common pleasantries, asking how this week and half had been, if we'd gotten accustomed to lack of sleep, midnight feedings and unending diaper changes.
I didn't even pretend to listen; my stare zeroed in on the closed folder resting on his desk and stayed there.
It had my son's name on it.
Finally he gave up on chit chat, knowing it was but a one-sided conversation. Seeing as how Emmett was so nervous he did nothing more than nod his assent and I had not even met his stare.
"Well, I called you in because the result of Aaron's blood test came back. As I said before he was tested for Down Syndrome. Among the more common physical features are hypotonia or floppiness, small head with brachycephaly, epicanthic folds across the inside corners of the eyes, upward outward slanting palpebral fissures or eye slits, Brushfield spots in the iris, small mouth, small ears, excessive skin at the nape of the neck, a single transverse palmar crease, and short fifth finger with clinodactyly or incurving. A wide space, often with a deep fissure between the first and second toes, is also common. And after a physical we found he showed many of those features. Which lead us to believe he suffered from it. That is why we did the blood test."
It doesn't matter. I repeated furiously in my mind. Time and time again.
"And?" My husband asked with a tremble on his voice.
It doesn't matter.
"It was positive." Said the doctor. And his confirmation took away the last stubborn shred of hope I had for the test to come back negative. Tears filled my eyes and instantly I bit down on my lip to stop any noise from escaping me. My heart felt incredibly heavy.
I tried vehemently to remember my former conviction. I always expected it, but now it was confirmed, there was no going back, no ignoring it.
My son had Down Syndrome.
But it.. it doesn't… it…
I couldn't finish.
I fully expect some people not to like this idea, but I only hope you give it a chance. I'll try to have the next chapter up much sooner.
Have a great day.