At the Gryffindor table Remus watched Sirius intently as the raven haired boy's eyes quickly skimmed over the letter, keeping a careful poker face on. He suddenly looked up and managed a smile. Remus could tell he was trying.

"Imagine that," he said. "We're getting a new house elf."

"Your parents... sent you a letter... to tell you that?" James questioned skeptically.

Sirius shrugged, "Yeah, they do it more with Regulus than with me, but I suppose this was big enough to let me in on." Sirius warily looked down at his food, a strange emotion flashing in his eyes that he quickly blinked away, but Remus could see it. When he looked up, a somewhat cheery expression was present on his face. He tucked the letter carefully inside his robes and stood. "I'm going out by the lake, see you lot later."

Sirius was grateful that it was a Saturday and that he didn't have the extra burden of trying to act normal during classes. At least he could be free to roam the grounds and think. He made his way out the doors and ran. The words in the letter echoed through his mind. He raced, thinking that if he ran fast enough, that just maybe he could out run the demons that were plaguing his mind.

-XOXOXOXO-

"Hey, Lucius," Snape said, as he plopped down on the bench in between Regulus and the blonde.

Lucius appeared not to hear him. He was staring off towards the Gryffindor table eyes fixedly watching the mousy boy wallow into his toast and eggs.

"Lucy," Regulus nearly shouted waving a hand in front of the hypnotized boys face.

Lucius snarled, "Don't ever call me Lucy!"

"Hey," Regulus said, ignoring the comment. "Where's Narcissa, you two are usually joined at the hip?"

"Oh, yeah, we... er... broke up."

"What!" the two boys said in unison.

"We broke up all right!"

"Why?" Snape questioned.

"It's complicated I suppose."

"Aw, Lucius, don't give us that bull shit. Seriously, what happened?"

"None of your business is what."

"Lucius, its Peter isn't it?" Regulus questioned, his voice growing lower.

"Shut up."

"You have feelings for him don't you?" Severus said his eyes growing wide.

"You don't know what you're fucking talking about!" Lucius snarled.

"That's why you broke up with her, you can't stop thinking about it, you . . . miss him." Regulus stated.

"If you value your life, you'll shut that hole in your face." Lucius said, his voice growing even deadlier.

"Narcissa wasn't him, that's why you broke it off? You preferred him!" Snape said.

"Shut the fucking hell up!" Lucius shouted standing up. Several eyes in the great hall turned to him. Lucius gaining as much pure blood air as he could, marched out of the great hall in as dignified a manner as he was able to manage. His eyes connected briefly with Peter's and if possible, an ounce of color crept into the pale boys cheeks as he hurried out.

-XOXOXOXO-

Remus watched as Sirius left, he knew the letter had nothing to do with house elves, he just didn't want to let his mind wander to the likelier possibilities.

"What do you suppose is really up?" James questioned after a while.

"What do you mean?" Remus said, not wanting to broach the subject.

"C'mon Moony, you didn't actually believe that crap about house elves do you?"

"Prongs," Remus said, sighing heavily. "Right now, I'm not sure what to believe."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"It means, I should be going and it's too damn early to get philosophical," He said, as he exited the great hall.

-XOXOXOXO-

Peter felt like drowning. He had never been excellent at making friends and he wasn't quite in the mood to try. He felt like he was swimming in a sea of depression and his arms were tired of treading water. He figured it would be so much easier to succumb but he knew he couldn't... not yet at least.

He had seen Lucius' whole spectacle and wondered what it was all about. He watched as the blonde had left the great hall and felt nauseous as a wave of memories crashed down on him. He felt hurt, and he had absolutely no one to talk to. No one would give him the time of day. For someone everyone thought was a spineless idiot, he sure had a lot of complex thoughts raging his mind.

He didn't consider himself gay, and he didn't consider himself straight. He didn't consider himself bisexual but he didn't consider himself asexual either. He was . . . well he didn't know. He never really considered himself attractive, although he didn't think he was ugly really. He was a tiny bit below average though. He had never really liked people like that. He supposed some people were good looking, but he was just never interested.

But Lucius, Lucius simply blew his mind away. He was amazing, he was cold yes, misunderstood, definitely, but also amazing. Peter knew he should get over it. He was to weak to try anything. Way too nervous. He had no earthly idea why he had been sorted into Gryffindor. He was certainly in no rush to show some sudden act of bravery. And Lucius, thankfully, had been the leader in their relationship. Peter didn't have what it took to talk to him, explain things, although he wished he did. He would wait, because that's all he could do. After all, he only had eyes for Lucius and he knew he couldn't go on without him.

Although he had no chance, he knew that he was in love with Lucius Malfoy.

-XOXOXOXO-

Sirius sat by the lake, furiously tossing stones into the water. He was flabbergasted, livid. He had been brought up and taught to never show emotion, never cry, never show love, they were for the weak. Sirius wasn't weak, but all those things sounded rather appealing to him at the moment. He wanted nothing better than to curl up in a ball and cry, with loving arms wrapped around him.

He couldn't stand his family, that much he was sure of. However, that didn't mean that he didn't love them. In an odd sort of twisted way he thought he did. He knew they didn't love him, only put up with him because of what he could bring them. All they wanted from him was a grandson, to carry on the noble name of the House of Black. He was supposed to marry well and produce well.

He was disgusted by how heartless they could be. Although, that didn't keep him from hoping. He idly hoped that one day they're eyes would be opened and they would see the errors of their ways and finally accept him for who he was. Deep inside, he knew it was never going to happen. Although, the very core of his being refused to believe that people could be so cruel, so heartless, let alone his own family. This just wasn't right. He had received an ultimatum and he hated it. No matter what choice he picked, he'd still have a small whole left behind in his heart, he couldn't bare it!

He felt a lone tear trickle down his face and wiped it away angrily. He let out a small frightened yelp as a pair of warm arms wrapped around his torso; he turned slightly and looked into the eyes of his boyfriend. Without a word Remus leaned down and captured his lips in a gentle kiss. It was so comforting and just what Sirius needed. Sirius shifted and brought his hand up to cup his chiseled jaw. Remus' hand stroked his silky hair lovingly. When they broke apart they were gasping for air and Sirius brought his head down to lay on Remus' chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Remus spoke, breaking the silence after a few minutes.

"Not really."

"Pad's, you have to face it eventually."

"Face what?"

"You know what."

"Do you?"

"I have an idea." he said quietly.

"What if I don't want to face it?"

"You don't have much of a choice."

"I could always live as a hermit." Sirius said shifting in his arms, a weak attempt at a smile splaying on his face.

"Which you wouldn't do, you're a Gryffindor after all, act like it." Remus tried to laugh a little but it came out more as a wince at the pathetic look on Sirius' face.

"I feel more like a bloody Hufflepuff at the moment." Sirius shuddered at the thought, "Always so touchy feely."

"It's okay to have emotions from time to time; honestly I'd be concerned if you didn't."

Sirius gave a small chuckle, "I don't know what to do."

"I'm sure you have an idea."

"Mhmm, and what would you do if you were me?" Remus didn't quite know how to respond to that.

"What exactly did they say?" he spoke in such a low whisper Sirius barely caught it.

"See for yourself." Sirius scoffed handing the tawny haired boy the letter that he had pulled from his jeans.

Remus read it briefly, his stomach dropping with each line.

Sirius Orion Black.

We are out right ashamed at your behavior. You are a Black! You have duties. You are besmirching your family name and yourself by allowing this disgusting phase of perverted curiosity to happen. We know it is just a phase and demand that you come out of it immediately! Associating with werewolves! Yes, we know about your friend's problem. He's an animal, a wild filthy animal and should be put down like the filthy mutt that he is. Not only have you befriended him, but you've gone so low as to have physical relations with him! This has to end! It's out right nauseating. You've become a dirty little faggot in addition to shaming us with your blood traitorous behavior. We will give you one more chance, it's your choice. Your family, the ones who want what's best for you and have a bright future to offer you, with infinite benefits or the bottom feeder of society who has given nothing to you and has nothing to offer but hopelessness and being shunned by society. Remember that we birthed you, held you, fed you and clothed you. Look how you repay us! It's downright filthy! You choose, a life of ostracism, and hopelessness, or a bright future with all you could ever ask for surrounded by your family. It's all up to you.

Your Mother and Father.

Remus thought he was going to be sick. This wasn't right; no one should be forced to choose between the two. He also felt terribly uneasy at the fact that the Blacks knew what he had been trying to hide since entering Hogwarts. Would they have him expelled, sent to Azkaban, put down. He shuddered at the thought. He didn't know what to say. He wordlessly handed the parchment back to Sirius. He knew he should be giving the other boy comforting words and support, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew that in his heart they were wrong, but still the words burned like acid. They were right about one thing though, he had very little to offer Sirius. But he did have one thing that he could give infinitely and they had no hope of ever offering . . . his love.

He took a shuddering breath and turned to his boyfriend who by now had tears brimming in his eyes as he stared blankly out onto the lake. He pulled the boy into a gentle hug and traced intricate patterns on his arms as he thought. He seriously considered if it truly would be best to stop being selfish and just let Sirius go, go and live the better life that he deserved.

"So which do you want?" he finally asked.

Sirius' head jerked violently up. "What do you mean which do I want?"

"You can have either one, they were right, it is your choice. I won't hold it against you if you chose them." Remus muttered turning his head, not being able to look into those fierce eyes.

"How could you ever think that?" Sirius spat, anger clearly evident in his voice. "How could you ever think that I'd choose them over you? People just putting up with me for what I can offer them, over love."

"Sirius, I'm not worth it."

"Shut up, don't you say that? For once in my life I want to be happy. You make me happy. I love you; I thought you felt the same."

"I do but-"

"But nothing, it's you, it's always been you, and it always will be you over them. Everything in that letter was a lie. You're an amazing person and you have more to offer me than any of that. You showed me love no matter how corny that may sound right now. All right, so screw them. Yeah it's hard," Sirius amended as he saw the doubt in his lovers face. "But I'll get over it, and plus I have you and Prongs to get me though it. Just, promise me... well, that... this really isn't just a phase for me, and I hope it isn't for you," he declared fiercely.

"Of course it isn't." Remus breathed. His heart was swelling with so much emotion that he was almost positive it would burst. He leaned down and placed another gentle kiss on the lips of the one he loved and knew that as long as they had each other, everything would be all right. This would hurt Sirius for a while, but Remus was determined to be there for him.

-XOXOXOXO-

Regulus and Severus sat on the steps leading out to the castle calmly looking out on the grounds. Regulus shifted to where his head was lying across Snape's legs and stared up contemplatively at the sky. Snape ran his hands through the other boy's hair marveling in how soft it was.

"So, what now?" Regulus spoke up after a while.

"We . . . move onto the next phase."

"This should be good."

"The only problem is, making it look believable"

Regulus snorted, "That's definitely not a problem."

"True, but we need to find a girl to do it."

"Again, not a problem."

"So next phase?"

"Next phase."

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