Disclaimer: I do not own City of Glass
Jocelyn ran down Amatis' front steps towards the Accords Hall, the door swinging shut behind her.
She could see his figure off in the distance; his shoulders were sagged in disappointment. Jocelyn felt a jolt of sorrow. She should have told him she loved him, she should have said something when he told her, but all she had done was stare at him in incredulous shock. Jocelyn had seen the melancholy flash in his eyes when she didn't have an answer. His voice had been steady as he said goodbye, but she knew him better than that. She knew his heart was slowly crumbling away. Jocelyn knew this because that was what her own heart felt like. Her body was finally responding to the realization that after all those years he had loved her she had pushed him away, unknowing of his feelings towards her and her own feelings towards him. The awareness had come when he had spoke his heart, and her own heart had responded with I love you too.
Jocelyn's breath was coming out in rapid huffs now, and his physique was about ten feet ahead of her.
"Luke!" she called to him. "Luke, wait!"
Luke's head slowly turned towards her, and he stopped his brisk walk. Jocelyn reached him and bent down with her hands on her knees, panting.
"What is it Jocelyn?" he sounded so sad and worn.
Jocelyn raised her head slowly to meet his eyes. She stared longingly into them, and she got lost in his gaze. After a long moment of staring at each other Jocelyn tore her glance away and swept her eyes over his face, memorizing it. This was the face she loved. Battle scars criss-crossed Luke's cheeks, making his skin look tattered like cracked leather. Some may think those scars as depressing memories, but Jocelyn didn't. She thought them as trophies that represented Luke's courage, bravery, and battle skills. She brought her stare down to the rest of Luke's body. His normal proud posture was now slumped with weariness and depression. In general he stood strong and proud, even at the worst of times. Now he didn't even try to pretend he was alright.
"Luke…," she trailed off. Jocelyn didn't know how to put her feelings. Her thoughts were too clouded with emotions.
"Don't even say it," Luke's eyes suddenly flashed angrily. "You are here to say that even though you don't love me," he spat the words, "we can still be friends. And that maybe, just maybe, you can learn to love me. Well it's too late. I've waited twenty years for you Jocelyn, twenty damn years!It's obvious that you don't feel the same way about me," he turned away from her.
Jocelyn was frozen in shock. All his anger, disappointment and mistrust from the last twenty years were flung at her. She knew she should be mad, but Jocelyn couldn't bring herself to feel that way towards him. Instead she felt a great sorrow for all he had ever experienced. She stared at his back, rising and falling with his rapid breathing. Luke, who never got angry, who was always cool and controlled, was nearly shaking with range. All because of her. Guilt washed through Jocelyn, and she wished she could say or do something to make him forgive her. They had been friends for twenty years, and she couldn't let that be thrown away because of her inattention of her best friend. A best friend who loved her, and who she loved back. She needed to tell him, for that was why she had run after him, right? You can do this she told herself firmly; trying to convince her mind that she was a lot stronger that she felt.
"Oh Luke…," Jocelyn rose a tentative hand and placed it onto his shoulder. She felt him tense under her hand, and he shook it off roughly. She brought her now-shaking hand back down to her side.
"Don't touch me," he snarled. He started to walk quickly away. His sudden abandonment shocked her. For a few moments Jocelyn stood frozen in surprise and she watched him walk away. A cool breeze ruffled her red hair, snapping her out of her state of shock. Her body unfroze.
"Luke, wait!" she called. Jocelyn ran to catch up to him. When she reached him she matched his pace and walked beside him. She itched to grab hold of his hand and never let go, but Jocelyn new that would only make the situation worse. Instead she looked at his firm hands and studied them. They hung clenched and shaking to Luke's sides, veins sticking out. On the hand closest to her Clary's mark stood out on his pale skin, like a faded scar forgotten. Jocelyn glanced down at the matching mark on her own hand and smiled lightly to her self. In many ways, physically and emotionally they had been joined together, human and wolf. It was amazing how one mark can connect two species as one, ending the long spent disagreements and differences between races. Downworlders and Shadowhunters were finally at peace, and if two groups of strangers can become allies, then, Jocelyn thought, two old friends can forgive and continue to live and remain friends. Maybe as even more than friends. It was with these thoughts Jocelyn found a reserve of hope for Luke and her self's relationship.
"Luke," she began. He didn't give her a glance. Jocelyn ignored the sudden jolt of rejection in her stomach. She had to convince him she loved him. "Luke," she repeated. She tasted his name on her lips, felt it roll of her tongue. This name stood for the man that she loved, and she knew her heart would break if she couldn't have him. It was then Jocelyn realized what she had to do to convince him of her feelings. He wouldn't believe her otherwise.
Jocelyn abruptly grabbed his arm strongly, pulling him to a sudden halt beside her. Still he ignored her. Jocelyn forced him to face her, and his eyes bored down into hers filled with hurt and anger. She stared into them hard, and tried to communicate all her thoughts and feelings to him in that one glance.
"Luke," she repeated firmly. "You may not believe me if I just tell you how I feel, so I'm going to have to show you," and then she released his arm and gripped his neck instead, forcing his face down to hers.
At first Luke didn't respond to their lips touching. He just stood there, frozen in surprise, his lips unmoving. She put every emotion into that kiss, every piece of love in her heart. His lips were still against hers, but she heard a low groan rupture in his throat. Slowly his lips softened, and he began to accept her kiss.
Jocelyn pulled herself away quickly, only enough to say hoarsely, "I love you, Luke." She kissed him again. "I love you, dammit," she whispered almost inaudibly against his mouth. Jocelyn knew he heard her though because he responded in wrapping his arms around her tightly.
"Jocelyn, Jocelyn," Luke whispered, and she heard a vulnerability in his voice, a note of utter adoration. Jocelyn's heart felt like it was going to burst with happiness, and tears began to run uncontrollably down her face. Luke caught a tear on his finger and stared at it incredulously. His eyes were diminished of all his earlier anger, all they contained now was love.
"Why are you crying?" Luke asked softly. He placed a hand onto her cheek and stroked her face kindly.
"I-I just can't believe that this is actually happening to me, to us," Jocelyn stuttered. It had never been easy for her to explain her tears; she seemed to cry at the strangest times.
Luke's fingers continued to caress her face. "I thought you didn't love me," he said gazing at her. "I told you and you didn't respond, you just stared at me. I couldn't take it. I was prepared to take my life. I can't live without you, Jocelyn," both of Luke's hands were on her face now.
Jocelyn shivered. The air wasn't cool, no; she shivered in a tingling delight.
"I didn't realize I loved you ether. I didn't know until you told me you loved me, and then I knew," Jocelyn placed a hand over one of his and held on, as if only Luke could keep her from falling over in unbelievable joy.
"When you told me I was shocked. I thought you were crazy, that I was crazy for not realizing it sooner. But my heart beat increased rapidly, and I knew I couldn't live without you," She stared into his eyes. "It was Amatis and Clary who convinced me to go after you. I almost gave up. I thought you wouldn't accept me after how I reacted to you,' Jocelyn looked down, ashamed.
"I will always accept you,' was all he responded. Luke gently forced Jocelyn's head up and then they were kissing again. Her hormones were running wild in delight. It was several more minutes until Luke pulled away, and he brought his mouth down to her ear.
"When did Clary arrive at Amatis' house? I didn't see her."
Jocelyn smiled. "I suppose she wanted to get ready for tonight, for Jace. She was eavesdropping. She heard everything. I didn't even thank her for convincing me to pursue you. Love is a strange thing."
Luke drew away. Jocelyn saw that he was smiling as well. "That it is. Let's find Clary and join the festival."
And so, hand in hand, the couple walked towards the sunset. They headed for the Accords Hall, where everyone was celebrating of victory for all.
Well, what do you think? Please review, and be brutal!