A/N: Okay, you asked for more. Here it is. Hope you like the interaction. Actually, I'm pretty sure you will. lol. I've got some interesting plans for Chapter 10, which if my muse keeps up like this, will be out within a week.
Surprisingly, Eric was waiting for her in the parking lot after she'd grabbed her gear. The surprise must have been on her face as she climbed tentatively into the Hummer because he remarked, "Look, Calleigh, we may not be getting along right now—" A sardonic twist of his lips underscored his point. "—But that doesn't mean our jobs should suffer for it."
Silently Calleigh agreed and voiced her opinion through a nod. She could seem to find the words, or the fortitude to work her throat enough to get past the knot that had lodged itself there.
The ride to the crime scene was silent. Eric didn't turn on the radio like he usually did and so there was no background noise to fill the thick tension. She could feel the animosity coming off him in waves and it affected her in several ways. Calleigh had to close her eyes several times and silently count down from ten, a trick she'd learned from the Academy when panic would set in. Nowadays she very, very seldom had them, but when she was younger, anxiety attacks had nearly crippled her. So infrequently did she have them now, Calleigh almost didn't recognize the subtle signs of an attack until it was almost too late. She tried to forcefully control her breathing, calm her shaky nerves. Even so, full-length body tremors shook her frame and she prayed Eric would not notice.
But that was not the case. Eric could see her from the corner of his eye and found himself intensely aware of the woman next to him. So the second her posture changed, he noticed. At first, he ignored it, but when the signs became worse, he turned his head to glance at her in concern. "Are you all right? Calleigh, do you need me to stop?" He reached out his hand, instinctively about to offer comfort, but he stopped, his hand hovering briefly over her tightly clenched fist on her lap. As he realized his action, Eric started to pull back, but a soft sound from Calleigh had him ignoring his head and going on pure instinct: he covered her cold, white-knuckled hand with his warm one and rhythmically rubbed his thumb back and forth over her knuckles, trying to offer some modicum of comfort, however small.
Calleigh concentrated on the distraction of his hand over hers. It was warm, almost hot, to her cold fingers, and slowly the warmth from his body seeped into her through that one point of contact. Her nerves lit up like lights on a Christmas tree, sensitized and alert to his soft touch.
"Relax, Calleigh. Everything's going to be all right," Eric murmured soothingly, trying to keep one eye on the road and one on her, watching for any changes in her behavior that whatever this was would get worse, or hopefully, better.
Several long minutes later, Calleigh's breathing evened out, her heart stopped pounding, and the anxiety attack drifted away. Her breathing was still slightly above normal, but at least she didn't feel like she had before. Eric's words penetrated her fogged brain, but she could find no voice to articulate her thoughts.
Eric slowly withdrew his hand, a part of him fighting himself, wanting to keep holding her, but another stronger, bigger part of him instinctively drew back. She was okay now. "Better?" he asked.
She nodded, unable to speak, but a soft sound escaped at the loss of his warmth.
Eric sighed tiredly. "I…can't, Calleigh. Nothing's changed. I just can't. Not right now. I don't know if that'll ever change." Maybe not ever. The words went unspoken, but Calleigh heard them as clearly as if he'd shouted. A silent testament to the hurt, anger, and betrayal he felt.
A glimmer of tears sparkled in her eyes for a second, but then Calleigh forcefully pulled them back, fought to keep them contained. She didn't want Eric to think she was weak, even if she felt that way. She might have lost her friend, but she would not lose the respect of a colleague.
Miranda Waters, a young high-powered attorney who never went anywhere unless she was perfectly groomed, was sprawled imperfectly across her travertine-tiled floor in the living room. Blood was pooled around the head and a nasty gash greeted the CSIs and Alexx, who'd arrived a few minutes before.
Alexx turned from the body at the approach of heeled shoes. She'd know that rhythm anywhere. "Good morning, baby. Eric," she said, smiling at them before turning back to her victim.
Calleigh flashed a patently fake smile before bending down to her co-worker's height. She'd perfected the art of pretending everything was okay many years ago, pretending nothing was wrong when the police came back to the manor because of one of Dad's drunken rages or Mom's pill-popping stupors. "Nice to see you too. What've we got?"
"I'll start processing the kitchen," Eric stated before moving on, barely sparing Calleigh or Alexx a glance, clearly distracted, or rather, trying to distract himself.
Alexx slid a curious glance her way and asked, "Is everything all right with him? Eric seems off."
Calleigh forced yet another bright smile. "To my knowledge. He hasn't said anything to me."
Alexx had been working with Calleigh for over eight years now. When people, and in particular, law enforcement, used the phrase, 'to my knowledge,' or something to that effect, something was up. It was a qualifier. No one said that unless you were trying to evade directly answering a question. Yes, something was definitely wrong with Eric. And as Alexx surreptitiously examined Calleigh over the dead body, she came to the same conclusion about her friend. The subtle signs were there: bags under the eyes no amount of makeup could fully conceal, a slight tightening of her lips to indicate stress and a worried furrow above her brow, things she was sure Calleigh didn't know about otherwise she'd have relaxed her facial muscles instantly.
Calleigh looked up and caught the intense gaze of Alexx and flushed slightly. She knew something. Somehow, Alexx knew something.
"What about you, baby? Are you okay?" Alexx tentatively asked. Calleigh wasn't one for deep conversations, not usually. She kept her private life private and work was work. They'd only had a couple of in-depth conversations over the years resulting from some heavy stress situations related to work: Tim's death, Hagan's suicide, and on one lonely occasion when the stress of waiting had been too much, Eric's shooting.
Calleigh's laugh was brittle, even to her own ears. "Of course. I couldn't be better. Now, what time was TOD? Can you tell the manner of death?" she asked, changing the subject. Surprisingly, gratefully, Alexx didn't press for further information or call her out on the obviously fake comments.
"Time of death was approximately eight to ten hours ago and my preliminary examination reveals possibly sharp-force trauma to the forehead," Alexx replied, motioning to the gash in the woman's temple, allowing Calleigh a reprieve. Besides, now wasn't the time to talk about whatever was bothering her, and Eric for that matter. Being a mother was sometimes a blessing and a curse. At this time, she couldn't be happier for that innate sixth sense because it allowed her to see past the front Calleigh was putting on. She'd allow Calleigh her space now, but eventually… "Honey, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?" she said quietly, meeting her eyes.
"I know," Calleigh said soberly. Alexx had been there through some of the toughest times of her life these last eight years.
Apparently satisfied, Alexx let the matter drop for the moment and they moved on.
Eric could hear soft voices coming from the living room and strained to hear what they were saying, wondering if they were talking about the case or about him and Calleigh. Only a word or two drifted from one room to the next and Eric caught himself wandering over to the entryway for better listening. His ears burned in embarrassment. What business of his was it if they were talking? He had no right to intrude on their conversation. Alexx and Calleigh were close, or at least, closer than most in the lab. Before this, he'd have said he was her closest friend. Now…now things had changed, and he didn't know where it left them.
God, he was so angry with her. For what she'd said. For what she hadn't said. Over the last six plus months and for thinking he could get over it quickly. Understand where she'd come from. That was a joke. He could barely comprehend his own emotions. What made her think he could handle hers?
Turning away from the entryway took more strength than he was proud of, but Eric moved back into the kitchen, massive as it was and got back to work. He collected prints and fibers from the surfaces and moved on to the cabinets. What appeared to be a cabinet turned into a trash compactor as he pulled the nickel-plated handle. A flash of his light revealed copious amounts of compacted garbage, but a shiny edge of something glinted in the light. Gloved up, Eric reached in and grasped the corner of the shiny metal peaking from the mass of trash. Pulling it out took some time, removing the pieces of refuse, but finally the mass was out and in his hands. A crumpled up metal or possibly silver-edged frame encrusted with something red was revealed. Eric quickly tested the red spots and, as he suspected, it popped positive for blood. "Found the murder weapon," he hollered to the pair.
The next four hours passed in almost complete silence and Alexx was starting to get antsy. With the exception of talking to her, neither one of them had much to say to each other, beyond comments related to the case. The temperature had dropped several degrees, despite the fact it was a balmy eighty-four degrees outside and the temperature inside wasn't much better due to their frosty reception of each other. She quietly observed the pair and believed they thought they were fooling her, convincing her everything was fine, but that couldn't be further from the truth. They weren't convincing anyone, least of all her.
Calleigh strolled through the halls, on her way to Alexx in Autopsy. She'd called a little bit ago to say she'd found something on the body. Everyone she passed seemed to be looking at her and Calleigh felt like a fiber under a 'scope, observed and speculated on. Of course, it was just her imagination, but Calleigh didn't know that. She was convinced everyone knew something. Like maybe what she'd done, or didn't do, was written all over her face. Attempting to school her face into a blank mask, she hurried down to Autopsy.
Alexx's warm smile was a welcome reprieve from all the prying eyes. Here, she could hide for a while. Not many came to Autopsy voluntarily, or for very long. Calleigh had found it was one of the few places she could get some privacy in a lab where everyone knew everything. "So, what did you find?" she asked.
Alexx pulled off the latex gloves and rotated her neck, working out the kinks, before replying. "A couple of fibers, some sort of foreign material I pulled from the body. I have them ready for you." She nodded toward three small vessels, each containing different materials separated from the victim. Calleigh snapped them up and held them to the light, examining them with her eyes, as if able to identify the materials visually. "Calleigh," Alexx approached. They were alone, as alone as they were going to get, and now was as good a time as any.
Calleigh took her concentration off the vials long enough to look down. Alexx caught her eyes and held her gaze. In her brown eyes, there was a wealth of knowledge, half-divined, half-intuition, and underneath all that knowledge, was concern. For her. For him. Calleigh could see it all in Alexx's eyes and suddenly, the weight of the last six months came down on her shoulders and there was a burning need talk to someone. She'd kept it all in, to herself, and now she wanted to share her thoughts, feelings, and motivations. So that maybe someone could understand why she'd done what she'd done. Tears pricked her eyes, Calleigh had to blink furiously to keep them at bay, and her breath hitched slightly as she said softly, "Can we get a drink after shift?"
Alexx's face softened considerably and a small sympathetic smile graced her face. "Of course, baby. We'll get more than a drink. We'll get dinner. That's what friends are for." Alex could see the anguish in Calleigh's eyes and whatever was bothering her was going to take longer than a drink or two to explain.
Eric spent the rest of the day processing the evidence recovered from the scene: prints, fibers, and even a smidge of skin left behind on the frame. Several times he caught out of the corner of his eye a glimpse of blonde hair flowing and his head would turn swiftly or jerk up to watch as Calleigh walked by. Once, their eyes met for a moment before Eric dropped his gaze. Quickly, he averted his gaze and pretended to be paying attention to the test in front of him.
Even as he subconsciously sought her out, Eric berated himself for it when he caught himself. He was so pissed off at her. For everything, but he couldn't take his eyes off her. What the hell was up with that? Why should he be so concerned with her when she hadn't been with him? Selfish. That's what Calleigh had been when she failed to tell him the truth months ago. And she'd had all this time to do so. If she could be so self-absorbed, then so could he. And if a part of his self wanted to shake some sense into himself, the rest of Eric ignored the minority.
Eric's thoughts were cut off abruptly by the silent approach of his boss and Eric visibly jumped as Horatio asked, "Where are we on the Santino case from this morning?"
Eric came back down from the stratosphere. "I'm running the prints I lifted off the frame in AFIS as we speak. So far no match. The lab's backed up in Fibers and DNA's going to take a while. So we're playing the waiting game."
"In the meantime, let's not keep our other cases waiting," Horatio quipped. He was standing outside the lab for some time before coming in and had observed Eric silently, allowing his impressions of the situation to filter through before approaching him.
Eric nodded in assent and pulled a couple of files he'd been working on and off for the last few weeks. Sometimes the wheels of justice, when they turned, turned slowly. He noticed Horatio staring at him strangely. "Is that all?" he asked, a bit uncomfortable by the penetrating stare. H had an uncanny ability to pick up almost hidden signals of fear, despair, anger, any strong emotions and Eric feared it left him wide open to interpretation.
His fears were founded. "Eric, is there anything you want to tell me?" Horatio asked, fiddling with his sunglasses, which he'd removed from his shirt pocket.
Eric shook his head lightly. "Nah. I'm fine," he said succinctly. As much as Horatio had once been family, he was still his boss and one sure fire way to get yourself fired was to tell your boss you and a senior co-worker had burnt up the sheets. Not that he thought Horatio would betray a confidence, but he didn't want to put him in that kind of position in case something went south with IAB or any of their bosses. Besides, Horatio wasn't family anymore and as much as it pained Eric to admit it, Marisol's death had changed their dynamic. And not for the better. He just didn't quite feel right talking to Horatio about his problems with Calleigh.
Horatio could tell something was bothering him, him and Calleigh, but he was a good enough boss to know when to push and when to leave it alone and this was definitely one of those 'leave it alone' moments. For both of them. As long as whatever problem they were having didn't interfere with their jobs, he would let them work it out on their own.
After shift, Calleigh and Alexx drove to the nearby restaurant and bar Solas. Typically crowded on a weekday immediately after work, surprisingly it was not that evening. And that boded well for the long and involved conversation Alexx thought they would be having. On the weekdays it was a place for upper middleclass workers to relax and unwind after a hard day at work. Located in the heart of downtown Miami, it was flanked by much larger, elaborate restaurants, but had maintained its regulars over the years, and two of those regulars included Calleigh and Alexx. The hostess Jennifer sat them at a half-moon booth table, affording them some privacy while they conversed.
After they had placed their orders for dinner and obtained their glasses of wine, which both thought secretly would be needed, they sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, each gathering their thoughts and strength to start a conversation which was sure to be intense and revealing. If the inside of the room had been bright, airy, and the lights starkly harsh Calleigh suspected she could not have revealed her thoughts. But it wasn't. The interior of the restaurant was dimly lit, and unwittingly, the dark and smoky interior allowed Calleigh to feel comfortable enough to break the silence and speak about a topic that, until Eric, had remained a secret in her heart for so many months.
"It started about a year ago…" and so began Calleigh's story. She laid out everything, how they began dating, how they fell in love, her feelings regarding that emotion, her fears and terrors. The breakup and the fall out immediately following. Eric's shooting and her anguish over him not making it. The aftermath and the realization Eric couldn't remember what they'd been to each other, her decision to keep it that way, Jake, Eric realizing the truth, last night. All of it.
"Oh, baby…" Alexx was pretty much speechless. A hand reached out and covered Calleigh's, trying to convey some warmth and support to the obviously distraught young woman. It was long, involved, and every bit as heart-wrenching as Alexx had suspected, although nowhere near what she'd been thinking.
"You have to understand, Alexx. I didn't tell him because I was so scared. Of how quickly things had progressed, how in love I found myself. I'd been in love before, but this time it was different, more somehow. Perfect, absolutely perfect. We didn't fight. We talked about everything. It was so easy, this relationship. Having my best friend as my lover was new and unique and scary. What if the lab found out? What if we broke up down the road? I've been in the position where I'm the butt of jokes and whispers because I'm dating a co-worker. I didn't want to go that route again. So I broke up with him. You should have seen his face," she whispered, remembering the utter look of devastation, unable to comprehend where it was coming from. "God, Alexx, I destroyed the one relationship that ever made perfect, absolute sense," she ended.
Several times the waiter had attempted to come to the table during Calleigh's speech, but each time Alexx discreetly waived him off, not wanting to interrupt the flow of her thoughts, understanding that if she didn't get it all out at once, she might not at all. "And what about today?"
A laugh tinkled out, and Alexx had to refrain from wincing. The sound was more like glass breaking, brittle and sharp. "Today, Eric doesn't want anything to do with me. Not now. Maybe not ever, as he said this morning."
"Baby, you have to give him some time. Right now, Eric's extremely angry. He's feeling betrayed and beneath all that anger is a hard core of pain. He remembers your relationship from those months, so he knows just how in love you were."
Calleigh shook her head. "No, he remembers bits and pieces."
Alexx's eyebrow rose and she leveled Calleigh with a penetrating stare. "Regardless, he knows you were in love. Simple as that. No one just stops being in love with someone. To him, his memories are fresh, about as fresh as if they occurred yesterday. Because of the amnesia over the last six months or so, the memories are going to feel both like they're brand new and also six months old. It's conflicting for him. Something his mind is having trouble wrapping around. Give him some time to cool down and get his head on straight. If I know that boy like I think I do, there's no way he's not still in love with you. The memories prove it. His mind was trying to show him what he so obviously missed. He loved you, Calleigh. That's not going to change overnight."
"But how can I expect a second chance, Alexx? I hid something so incredibly important from him; how can I expect he'll give us a second chance?"
"You can't. You can't expect it. But you can hope. Have faith, sweetie. But don't let inaction keep you from something you want, and I suspect, something Eric ultimately wants. Calleigh, we all do irrational things when we're in a relationship. Fear is a powerful motivator. We all have regrets, but the question you have to ask yourself is this: Is Eric a regret you're willing to live with? Do you really want to be looking at this time forty years from now and wondering, what if?"