You Found Me Chapter 4: Awake, a twilight fanfic

Hey guys! So here is the next installment… It's the longest chapter yet and we are starting to get into the story…

I will make this short and sweet since you have a lot of reading ahead of you… But thank you, everyone of you who is taking the time to read, to put this on your alerts/favorites and especially to all of you who take the time to review! You all make me smile and I hope that you are enjoying this as much as I am enjoying writing this!

This chapter is dedicated to all you who reviewed on the last chapter (especially all you who have followed me for a while now, from my Buffy stories to here, you all rock!): Luvntwilight, lorit, dusk3ttex01, ba2006, A Cullen Wannabe (I hope this chapter makes you feel better about the Jacob situation), MyriadProBold (thank you for always having something great to say! I love getting your reviews!), SWChica2005 (No need to apologize! I'm just glad you are enjoying it!), Emotional Hummingbird (I love this Edward too…), Rach91.

Also… Please, please… All of you who read Baby You Can Stop Running, don't kill me for not updating that first… I've gotten half of the next chapter done but I was stuck for a while and what is going to happen in this chapter needed to come out of my head first… There should be a Baby update on Sunday… I PROMISE!

Now… Onto the story! Take note, this is 2 and 1/2 months since the last chapter!

You Found Me
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight… Or Secondhand Serenade's "Tested and True"

Chapter Four

I'm trying real hard not to shake. I'm biting my tongue,
But I'm feeling alive and with every breath that I take,
I feel like I've won. You're my key to survival

And if it's a hero you want,
I can save you. Just stay here.
Your whispers are priceless.
Your breath, it is dear. So please stay near

Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.

Say my name. I just want to hear you.
Say my name. So I know it's true
You're changing me. You're changing me.
You showed me how to live.

Secondhand Serenade, "Awake"

"I don't get it." Edward grumbled under his breath. "It looks like a giant mess."

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't just hear that." Bella smiled, taking a few steps back from the painting that they had been standing in front of. It was her favorite, or at least, one of her favorites. Over the past three years that she had been frequenting the National Gallery, she had accumulated a list of them but this was the first time she was telling him which ones they were, the first time she was telling anyone for that matter.

Her eyes gazed over him and she had to remind herself that nothing could ever happen between them. He was handsome, sinfully so, and she hated that she felt this way for him. She hated that with one look her insides seemed to melt, or how that damn crooked smile of his seemed to make her knees buckle, or when he unleashed the full force of his green eyes on her unsuspecting brown ones she felt an intense pull to tell him that she wanted to be more than friends. It was made even more worse by the fact that she was certain she had never met anyone as perfect as he was.

"You can't make anything out!"

"Stand back." She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him backward, careful to avoid the leather bench that was resting in the middle of the room for people who wanted to just sit and look. She made sure to put a few feet of space between him and the painting, the distance helping with the confusion. "Now look again."

He shook his head. "Nope, still looks like a bunch of rubbish."

Her chin dropped to her chest as she shook her head slowly. He wasn't seeing what she was; he needed a different perspective, to look beyond what was before him and to see the depth that existed within it. "Do you know how amazing this really is? He painted this while he was going blind!"

"You can tell." He snorted and she smacked his shoulder with the back of her hand, afraid that using her palm would have made too much noise. The last thing she wanted was to draw attention to them.

"Come here." She reached her hand out and he took it, reveling in the way her small hand fit perfectly in his own. "See, the bridge is right here." She was using her other hand to point to the middle of the painting, and though he could make out some of the lines, the darkness of the whole thing, the similar color pallet made it difficult to make anything out. "And here is the water and you can see the slight reflection of the bridge on it… And the water lilies," her voice trailed off wistfully.

Edward was no longer looking at the painting; Monet had no hold on him. How could it when she was standing so close to him? When her hand was still resting in his own? His eyes were trained on the softness of her brow, how here, among all the paintings, she finally seemed comfortable and relaxed. He took in her soft, pink lips that formed a natural pout and the long strands of chocolate brown hair that framed her delicate heart-shaped face that he just wanted to pepper with kisses.

"You like Beethoven right?"

He nodded his head. "It's the same kind of thing… Imagine composing your music if you were going deaf… Monet painted this from memory… He couldn't see the stokes of his brush…"

"Okay, okay you convinced me." He smiled as she looked up to meet his eyes. He was excited about her enthusiasm and tried to commit to memory the way her face was lit with enjoyment from just talking about the piece of art before them. Happiness was beautiful on her and he hated knowing that sometimes, most of the time, that look wasn't there.

"You just want to drop it."

"No… You make a very good point." She beamed up at him and he realized that he had forgotten to breathe for a moment. "Come on, I've had enough of this place for the day, let's go get coffee."

She nodded and he squeezed her hand with his own, pulling her through the maze of the rooms before stepping out into the bright light of day, the sun beating down on the summer tourists who were enjoying the square.

"So we have a gig tonight." He commented as he watched her sip her coffee. He never spoke about his gigs to her, never waiting to her think she had an obligation to come and see him, though he knew she never would have seen it that way. It was just easier for him not to mention it, she would have shown, he knew that, but he wasn't sure he wanted her too, especially since in the past two and a half months that they had known each other, more and more of the songs that they were playing were about her, his unrequited love and how he longed for her, and he was certain that she would figure it out. It was a gamble that he wasn't ready to take, he wasn't ready to have his heart crushed anymore than it already was.

"Really?" He could hear the excitement in her voice and it warmed his heart. "Where is it at?"

"The Huntsman."

"That's so great Edward! I wish I could come."

"Plans?" He asked, his voice soft. He watched her nod her response to his question and he arched his left eyebrow, silently asking her to exaggerate. He knew it probably had something to do with her husband. Much to his dismay the wanker seemed to be trying to make amends with her and all his own plans of swooping in and saving her seemed to fall to the wayside. Still, he wasn't giving up hope completely, he knew men, and more specifically, he knew men like Jake. It would only be a few more months before he reverted back to his old ways. At least, that was what Edward kept telling himself.

"Jake is coming home this afternoon from a business trip and we are supposed to go to dinner."

He had to fight back the scowl that was trying to take up residence on his face but he merely nodded. "How are things with you two?" He knew asking was only going to hurt him. He knew that he was inflicting it on himself but he didn't care. He had to know, had to know what was going on so he could gage when he could step in and try and show her that they were right, that she belonged with him and not her dip shit of a husband. It was killing him to hear about this guy when all he wanted to do was take her in his arms and keep her there.

"Things are better… He seems to be trying harder and I assume I can credit that to my kicking him out of our bedroom for a week. He's home more which is nice… I guess it's more like we are married and not just roommates." She was biting the inside of her cheek because as much as she was thankful that things were better between her and Jake, she was angry with herself for the feelings that she was having for Edward.

"That's good then." He was doing all he could to keep the smile on his face, to be the supportive friend that he knew she needed but it broke his hear to tell her such things. The thing was, he still couldn't figure out why she would just settle for what she had, or how even Jake could treat her the way he was.

"Yeah…" She sighed and looked down at her coffee cup. "So what about you… Any women?"

He shrugged, having always avoided the topic. There hadn't been a single woman in his life or even in his bed since he had met Bella. No one ever seemed to compare, his heart was taken and anything else, with anyone but her would have felt wrong. He wanted to tell her, to spill his heart out but he knew not to. "Not really."

"Not a single girl? A fling? Nothing?" She wanted to keep hearing him tell her that he wasn't with anyone because even though she couldn't have him, she didn't want anyone else to have him either.

"Nothing." He replied and her heart soared. The high soon dropped though when he continued. "I mean… There is someone I'm interested in but it's really pointless."

She was biting her lip, trying hard to ignore the ache that had settled into the pit of her stomach. "Why?"

"Because she doesn't want me."

"Then she is an idiot." She replied, looking down at the table, doing all she could to avoid his eyes, she was certain that everything she was trying to hide from him could be easily seen in the tears that were beginning to well up at the thought of him wanting some girl. There was no doubt in her mind that she would be beautiful, and no doubt in her mind that if he was given the chance, he would take the girl up in his arms and probably never let go. The problem was, she wanted to be that girl more than she would have liked to admit. If she was being genuinely honest with herself, it was more than that. She wanted to be that girl more than anything else in the world and she had no right to even think that.

Edward wasn't sure if he wanted to kiss or kill Alice when he walked into his flat to see her sprawled out on his couch flipping through a magazine while Hudson rested his head on her stomach. He had been looking forward to decompressing in silence before heading out for the gig he had that night, but his conversation with Bella had sent his head reeling.

"What are you doing here Al?"

"My place was too quiet. Jasper is out with Tanya who came in for the week."

"How is Tanya?" He asked, flopping his body down into the oversized arm chair. Hudson moved from his place near Alice to Edward's feet, nudging his hand for attention. Edward complied, resting his hand on top of the dogs head and stroked the soft patch of fur there.

"Good I guess."

"Isn't she staying with you?"

"No," she replied, setting her Vogue on the table. "She is staying with her girlfriend, apparently they are planning on moving in together and she wanted to see the apartment before packing up her things in Paris."

Edward had to do a double take at that one. "Girlfriend?"

"Yea, apparently they met in Paris at fashion week."

"How does that work exactly?"

"Tanya was the model; the girl was working for People's Revolution in Paris and was working the Burberry fashion show." Alice leaned back against the arm rest, turning her head to look at her twin brother. "Apparently they just hit it off."

"I just never thought Tanya would… you know… be into chicks. She spent all those years chasing after me."

"You are so damn modest you know that?"

"It's a fact. You know it as well as I do!"

"Maybe you turned her gay." She laughed and Edward pulled a pillow out from behind him and threw it at her making her squeal as it made contact with her head. "Edward Anthony Cullen!"

"That's what you get for coming into my house and getting a laugh at my expense."

"So what's been going on with you and that Bella girl?"

His body stiffened with the mention of Bella, it was exactly what he hadn't wanted to think about and here she was, coming up in conversation. "Nothing."

"You've been with her, right?"

"We're just friends."

"I'm sure you are." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and he hated what she was doing. He knew that she was trying to get a rise out of him and with his mood prior to walking through that door, was not helping any of this. "Jasper has told me about the new songs… You're so transparent Eddie."

"Don't call me that," he growled, leaning his head back against the chair. "Seriously, there isn't anything going on. She's married, and things are good between them right now."

"I think what you are dying to say is that it's good for now… Not right now." He shrugged and she rolled her eyes at him. She knew him better than he wanted to admit, and she knew how much this was hurting him and she couldn't exactly blame him. It really must have been hard to see the one person who had ever stirred up such strong feelings deep within, with a dick head of a husband, and to not do anything about it. "So what do the songs sound like?"

"You'll hear them tonight."

"Is she going to come?"

"No. Her husband is coming back from a business trip." He grumbled, standing up and beginning to walk to his bedroom to lay down for a bit. He really just wanted to get away from Alice, from her questions that were stirring up emotions that he didn't want to deal with. He was spent, his day with Bella had been difficult enough as it was and he just needed to shut off for a while.

"That's a shame… I really wanted to meet her." He heard her say before he closed the door to his bedroom.

It was half past eight before Bella finally gave up on Jacob and made something to eat; it was obvious he wasn't coming home. She was angry but she didn't know what to do about it really. She just couldn't comprehend why he couldn't bother to pick up the phone and let her know that he wasn't coming back like he had originally thought he was.

She dialed the familiar number and waited for the line to be picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Rose… Did Emmett come back from Rome?"

"Yeah, he got back this afternoon."

"Did he say anything about Jake getting on the plane?"

She heard her friend pull the phone from her ear. "Monkey, did Jake come home today?"

"No. He and Leah stayed behind." Bella heard Emmett reply.

"Rose, I need to talk to Emmett." Bella said loudly. She had never heard the name Leah before and was curious as to who this woman was that her husband was traveling with. Why hadn't he told her that there was going to be a woman with them?

"Who is Leah?" She asked immediately after Emmett had said hello, not giving him time to change the subject.

"She was transferred from the New York office about two months ago. Jake never said anything?"

"No."

"Listen Bella… I wouldn't think too much about it… Things have been pretty crazy and the only reason I came home was because Rose needed me… I'm sure he hasn't forgotten, he's probably just tied up."

"Why are you sticking up for him? I thought you hated him."

"I don't like him… Not one bit. But I do like Leah and I'll be honest with you… She isn't the kind of girl to make a move on a married man."

"How can you be so certain?" Bella questioned, looking at the cabinet where they kept the alcohol. Suddenly, a big drink sounded appealing.

"Because I know her past and I know that she has been hurt and I know she would never want to hurt anyone else."

"So she's a former homewrecker?"

"She didn't know the man was married until she got a call from his wife… Listen… You are like a sister to me so if I truly suspected something you better believe I would tell you, especially because you know how I feel about that husband of yours."

"I know." Bella sighed into the phone. Besides, she really couldn't get angry, she had, after all, been traipsing around London with another man and she would have been lying to herself if she denied having feelings for him.

"So what are you going to do tonight?" Rose's voice broke Bella's thoughts and brought her back into the present. She hadn't heard Emmett telling her that he was passing the phone back to his wife and it took her by surprise.

"Uhm. I really hadn't thought about it. Jake and I were going to go out to dinner but seeing as he isn't coming home I suppose it was a good thing that I already ate…" She commented wondering if she should tell Rose about Edward's gig and how now that sounded like an appealing thing to go to. She had never seen him or heard him play and was wondering what it would be like, how he would sound.

"So now you're just going to hang out at home?"

"No… Uhm, how about going to Soho for drinks?" She suggested, keeping it vague, she could tell her later.

"That sounds good. I'll give Soho House a call to let them know we are going to come."

"No." Her voice was more forceful than she had anticipated but she had no desire to go to the member's only club. She wanted to see Edward. "The Huntsman."

"The Huntsman?" Rose's voice was skeptical.

"Yes… Just meet me at ten at the Leicester Square tube station."

"Alright. I'll see you in a little bit."

Bella pressed the end call button and looked down at her clothes. She was wearing her trophy wife clothes, the ones Jacob liked her to wear when he paraded her around town. The ones she wore only for him because she always felt ridiculous wearing them, they were not her. If she was going to see Edward she would have to change. She never wanted him to see her like this, he was the first person in a long time, to see her as the person that she used to be, and she wanted to keep it that way. For the first time in two years, she was beginning to feel like the old her, the her before the move to London, the her that she was comfortable being, the her that she missed.

Jacob and Leah were strolling down the Via Vittorio on the way back to the St. Regis. It had been a stressful day, once the first thing fell apart, it seemed that everything else fell right along with it. He needed Emmett, but he had taken off to go back to Rose because of something that had happened. He needed Emmett around because he knew that he was in a difficult situation.

Leah had always been captivating to him. Back when he worked closely with her in the New York office, he remembered the way she smelled of lavender and vanilla, the way the scent lingered in his memory long after she had gone. He remembered the way her lips felt soft and supple against his own from the one time that they had kissed while walking through Central Park. He remembered the way her soft body felt against his own when he had his arm wrapped around her shoulders. Most of all, he remembered how guilty he felt when he had gone back to London to his wife who was none the wiser about his impure thoughts for another woman.

If he had thought New York was torture, Rome was ten times worse. They were alone, in one of the world's most romantic cities and she wouldn't touch him. It was painful, but he knew he had to get through it. Nothing good would come out of it, he would upset Leah and he would be hurting his wife.

"So is everything squared away?" She asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. He was doing all he could to not look at her, instead focusing on the tall trees that lined the picturesque street in the city.

"Yeah, their flight will be in tomorrow and the limo service will pick them up and take them straight to the Palalottomatica. The arena is being set up as we speak so everything should fall into place. There will be just enough time for a sound check."

"Thank god," she sighed, glancing down at her wrist to check the time, 9:30PM. It was still early and she was far from being tired but she knew he was married and she had to stay away from him. She had been hurt too many times in the past and after the pain that Sam, her ex, had put her through, she had made herself promise to never love anyone that much ever again. So the fact that when she was around Jake her heart would race and her body seemed to go weak with just a simple glance, she knew she was in trouble. He's married, she found herself repeating over and over again in her head.

"We'll be heading back to London on Sunday then?"

"Yeah…" He replied when he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. It was Emmett. "Hey, so everything is all squared away, they'll be here tomorrow afternoon."

"I don't give a fuck about that." He shouted and Jake had to pull the phone away from his ear.

"What the fuck man?"

"You couldn't fucking spare one minute to tell Bella you weren't coming home?" Jake winced at his words, it had completely slipped his mind that he had a wife who had been expecting him back that day. They had made plans to go out. "Bloody fucking hell Jake… Things were finally starting to get better and you know how much I fucking hate hearing her upset. She thinks you're screwing around on her."

"Why would she think that?"

"Maybe because you show all the signs of a husband straying? And maybe because you haven't fucking told her that you are working closely with a woman. A woman who I'm pretty sure you have feelings for but for Bella's sake I'm not going to say anything. If Leah was any other woman I would have no problem telling Bella and getting her to kick your sorry ass out on the street but I know Leah wouldn't fuck around with you."

"Stop meddling in my marriage Emmett, it's none of your fucking business!" He replied forcibly. He never liked Emmett, never liked the bond that he had made with Bella and how he always took Bella's side. "It's my marriage, not yours."

"Yea well she is like my little sister and I don't like seeing her upset. God you really are a piece of shit and don't deserve her."

"Goodbye Emmett." He said, pressing the end call button on his blackberry and scrolling through his contacts list.

"Is everything okay?" Leah questioned, her voice soft, not wanting to upset him anymore than he already was. His body was rigid with anger and it scared her to see him so tightly wound.

"Peachy." He grumbled, pressing a button and putting the phone to his ear, listening to the sound of the ring, waiting for her to pick up.

"Hi, it's Bella. Sorry I missed your call but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can." Her voicemail stated and he scowled. She was avoiding him.

"Bella it's me… So I don't appreciate you complaining to Emmett and letting him give me hell. Did it ever fucking occur to you that I haven't had a moment to call and let you know that I wouldn't be coming home? There were complications with the band and I've barely had a minute to take a piss. So I won't be home until Sunday. Happy? See you later." He shoved the phone forcibly back into his pocket and glared up the street, immediately regretting having lost his temper on the message but it was too late to fix it.

"I need a fucking drink." He commented as they walked into the lobby of the hotel.

"I think I'll go to my room and get some rest." She said quietly. Getting drunk with him would only lead to complications. It may have been true that he and his wife weren't exactly getting along, but she wouldn't be the one to get in the way of it… At least that's what she kept telling herself.

"Come on Leah… Don't make me look like an alcoholic. Come have a drink with me." His hand was on her shoulder and she closed her eyes, not trusting herself to look into his large, brown ones that she knew so well. She hated that her stomach was doing flips, hated that she so desperately wanted to go with him.

"Just one." She replied, her eyes finally meeting his as she watched the large grin stretch across his face. Oh fuck Leah… What are you getting yourself into? She asked herself as she followed him into the hotel bar.

"So why are we here?" Rose asked as they walked into The Huntsman, trying hard to hide her disgust with the crowded, dingy pub. She preferred lounges, places with room to stretch out and where the room didn't smell like stale beer and the smell of cigarettes that blew through from the street whenever the door opened.

"I wanted a change?" Bella said, though it was more of a question. Rose lifted her eyebrow suspiciously, knowing that wasn't the case. "They have live music."

"Coffee boy is here isn't he?" Rose grinned, her suspicions confirmed as she watched the blush inhabit her friends face. She stretched her neck out peering around the heads of the other patrons, trying to catch a glimpse at the bronze haired man that Bella often spoke of.

"Do you know when he is going to get here?"

"He is supposed to be playing tonight." They made their way to the bar and stood there, trying to catch the bartender's attention.

"What will it be ladies?" He smiled when he stopped at them, taking the time to let his eyes linger on their frames.

"A pint of Strongbow and a vodka-cran." Bella smiled.

"No vodka-carn," Rose interrupted. "Just a diet coke is fine." He nodded and turned his back on them to fill their drink orders.

"Rose?" Bella asked, turning to look at her, her eyebrows pulled tightly together as she eyed her.

"Yes?"

"What's going on?"

"Well… We wanted to tell you together but I know I won't be able to get out of this… I'm pregnant… Emmett and I are going to have a baby." Rose smiled. Her face glowed and Bella wasn't sure how she had missed that. Though she was happy, immensely so, for her friend, she couldn't help the pang of jealousy that flared in her stomach; Rose had everything that Bella wanted. "Please say something?"

"Oh Rose! I'm so happy for you!" Her arms were around her neck, pulling her into a hug.

"Say you'll be there for me when Emmett isn't there?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. This kid might be the closest I'll ever have to having children." Bella half-smiled in an attempt to hide the sadness that had washed over her.

"Don't say that… It's not true. You'll have children, I promise. But you get to have practice with mine."

"Auntie Bella… It has a nice ring." Bella smiled, slapping down twenty quid on the bar when the bartender returned with their drinks. He produced the change quickly and they made their way to one of the few empty tables a few feet away from the stage.

"It does." Rose grinned back.

"Bella you should turn around and watch this…" Rose said softly as she leaned across the table. Bella had been sitting with her back to the stage, not willing to look at him. She was afraid that if she did he would see her and the last thing she wanted was for him to think that she was stalking him. So she contented herself with listening to his voice, thinking she had never heard someone sing so beautifully, all the while pounding drinks to summon the courage to talk to him when this was over. "He is amazing…"

"You're married remember…. And pregnant."

"So." She grinned, looking back up. "I can see why you like him."

"God and his looks aren't even the best part Rose…" She groaned, thinking about the way it felt when he held her hand, or when he slung his arm over her shoulder to guide her through crowded areas so they wouldn't get lost.

"Alright guys, this is the last song of the night and this is one that you've probably never heard before." She heard his voice call out and she couldn't help it anymore and turned to look at the stage. He was staring off to the side but just as he was about to start strumming on the strings of his guitar, his eyes locked on hers and she noticed the shock and surprise that was registered there for a brief moment before he shook himself out of it and the soft sounds of the guitar filled the now quiet room.

Superstitions aren't meant for lovers
Under covers, discovered is your skin
I am lonely, please let me in
You're probably wondering what I was proving
Are you choosing?
Am I losing you tonight?
Is it over, over?

Are we fading?

He looked away for a moment and Bella could feel her heart race in her chest. It was a long shot that he was talking about her, but it was nice to think about it nevertheless. She couldn't think of anything else but the passion that filled Edwards face as he sang, the pure bliss that showed and had she thought he was beautiful before, she knew that he was more beautiful in that moment. She felt Rose reach across the table and touch her hand, pulling her back into reality.

I never wanted anything the way that I want you
But my words don't seem to matter
My words don't seem to matter
And you look at me and I can see
The lies you're running too
But my words don't seem to matter
I'd rather have you tested and true

Now you've had your chance
So let's try it my way, it's my day
To show you what you're missing, turn around
And feel the winds of change upon your face again
The warm breath of your closest friend
I'm waiting, I'm waiting

Are we fading?

She couldn't tear her eyes away from the stage even though every single cell in her body was screaming at her to look away. She was falling more and more as she listened to his words, to the words that she knew he had written and everything was changing. He didn't move from her gaze, starting only at her and she was finding it hard to breathe.

I've never wanted anything the way that I want you
But my words don't seem to matter
My words don't seem to matter
And you look at me and I can see
The lies you're running too
But my words don't seem to matter
I'd rather have you tested and true

I'm scared we fall apart tonight
Under the moonlight
Under the moonlight
I'm scared we'll never make it right
Under the moonlight
Under the moonlight
Take my hand and hold it tight
Hold it tight

He couldn't believe that she had shown up and she wasn't with her husband. Had he known she was there, he never would have played the damn song. He had written it after she had cried in his arms one afternoon and though he wanted more than anything for her to hear it, this wasn't the time. He knew things were getting better with her husband and he was saving this for when things went south again. But as he played he couldn't take his eyes off of her, and he knew that he was blushing and he knew she was too and he knew that she was aware that this song could have been about them but all he could think about at that moment was getting through it and putting everything he had into it. The song was his confession, and getting it off his chest was giving him a high that he had never had before.

"Thank you for coming tonight." He said softly before turning the microphone off and walking off the stage before she had the time to realize he was gone.

"Bella…" Rose said softly, slightly in shock from the song. "Are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine." She stuttered, looking up at her friend to see tears swimming in her eyes. "Are you crying?"

"I'm pregnant… Hormones remember?" Rose chuckled before turning serious again. "How are you not crying?"

"It's a song." Bella shrugged.

"A song about you."

"There is no proof of that."

"So why wouldn't he take his eyes off you?"

"Because he was surprised to see me."

"Sweetheart… That boy is so in love with you that it isn't even funny."

Bella shook her head at Rose's comment. It would have been nice to believe that it was about her, and though she had been thinking that while he was singing, when he exited the stage she allowed that thought to be filed deep within her mind. There was not use trying to imagine it was about her away.

"Alice…" He started, staring down at the black case where he had tucked his guitar away in.

"Yea?" She asked, pulling herself from Jasper's arms to look at him.

"She's here." Her eyes went wide.

"Where?"

"The table off to the left… Sitting with the blonde."

"Can I go talk to her?"

"No."

"So why don't you go talk to her?"

"Because I'm a fucking coward… I never would have played that song if she was there." He sighed, shaking his head slowly.

"It was a beautiful song."

"She'll know that it was about her."

"Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes… No… Not right now." He decided.

"Just go talk to her." She smiled, placing her hand on his back. "Don't worry… Maybe she didn't figure it out."

He grunted. He hadn't been able to look away, she would have known. But still, she knew that he was there, and she knew, he knew, she was there. He couldn't avoid her. He didn't want to avoid her and more importantly, he wanted to kiss her.

He walked slowly to her table, his mind trying to come up with something to say in case there was tension, in case she didn't appreciate him spilling his heart out in front of a crowd of people he didn't know from Adam. The blonde she was with spotted him first however, cutting his thoughts off and he gave her a small, shy smile.

"Hi." He said, looking first at Bella and then at the other woman.

"Edward, hi." She smiled at him and he noticed the four empty pint glasses. She would be drunk and he celebrated in the thought that maybe she would forget all about it. "This is my friend Rose… Rose, Edward Cullen."

"It's nice to finally meet you. Bella speaks very fondly of you." He said, holding his hand out to shake Rose's hand.

"It's nice to finally meet you too." She grinned and looked at the phone that was resting on the table. "Oh well would you look at the time! I've got to be going, Emmett will be wondering where I'm at." She hopped off the table. "Bella will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine."

"I'll make sure she gets home." He spoke. "Looks like she's been knocking them back."

"Thank you Edward. I look forward to seeing more of you." She hugged Bella goodbye. "Talk to you tomorrow baby girl."

"Bye Rose."

They were silent after Rose left. Neither wanting to speak, not sure what to say, but she decided to speak first.

"You have an amazing voice."

"Thank you. I'm glad you were able to make it. Though I hope it didn't cut your other plans short."

She snorted. "He didn't come home. Bastard didn't even bother to call to let me know. I hope you don't mind that I showed up here."

He bit the inside of his cheek. "I'm sorry Bella."

She shrugged. "I wish you would stop apologizing for him."

"Do you want to get out of here? Go for a walk?" He suggested and she nodded. "I just need to drop my guitar off at home if you don't mind."

"I don't mind." She replied and he nodded.

"I'll be right back." He stood up and walked to the stage to grab his things.

"Can we just stay here and watch a movie or something?" She asked as she looked around his apartment. He looked up from the place where he was standing, and his eyes took her in. He liked here her, in his apartment, it made it feel like home instead of just a place to live.

"Yeah we can do that. Are you sure you don't want me to take you home?" He put a good ten feet between them, not trusting himself to be any closer to her.

"I don't want to be alone anymore." She whispered. "I'm sick of being alone."

He closed the space between them in two long strides and wrapped her in his arms as she began to cry into his chest. She wrapped her arms around his chest, pulling herself closer to him, smelling the sweet scent of honeysuckle and musk that clung to his clothes as she tried to make herself stop crying.

"You can stay here then." He said softly against her hair and she moved her face from his chest to look up at him.

She was trying to ignore her desire to kiss him, to feel his lips against her own but the look in his eyes, the darkness that she had never seen before only made her want him more. She wanted to feel beautiful, and she wanted to feel loved and she knew that he could do that.

She felt him place a hand against her cheek as he used the pad of his thumb to wipe at the tears that were falling silently and she leaned into his hand.

"Will you…" She said softly but stopped before she could finish. Just because it was what she wanted, didn't mean it was what he wanted.

"Will I what?" He asked softly, his head moving down closer to hers so their lips were only a few inches away.

He never got a response. Her hands were in his hair, and she closed the distance, pressing her lips against his own and he closed his eyes, melting into it, taking what he could get and hoping that she wouldn't hate him in the morning when she was sober.

Well... There it is! I really hoped you liked it and the best way to tell me is to review!