The dinner had been a rather pleasant meal of mostly vegetables, stir-fried, boiled, and blanched in a variety of different manners. There was one large meat dish though, which had been rather cleverly placed in front Zaraki-san and Madarame-san. Poking apprehensively at one of the dishes when she noticed that no one had touched that yet, she asked nervously. "Ano, Urahara-san?" When he turned laughing eyes to her, a wide goofy grin on his face, she gulped slightly before continuing, well aware of the many eyes on her. "What's in this dish?"
Uproar. "Oh no, trust me, Ise-san. You don't want to know."
"And even if you know, don't trust the guy. He might say it's broccoli, but it's never only broccoli."
"Kisuke loves his jokes." Ukitake grinned fatherly at the scientist in question.
"Ha ha. Very funny. Well, we don't. I still don't see why we can't make someone else cook."
"Because he's the one who organized the kitchen and no one else knows where the food is?" Mayuri-san, this time.
"And also because well, no one else knows how to cook."
"Ya. Remember what ya did the other time, Abarai?"
"Shut it, Ikkaku! Who was it that ate the thing?"
At her right side, Matsumoto leant over, whispering. "Urahara-san does this all the time. He has the same spread of food, except that he changes one dish. No one tries that one dish, not after what happened to Ikkaku the other time." There was a suppressed giggle.
"Ano, Matsumoto-san… Doesn't that mean that you will run out of dishes to eat?"
"Which is why Kuchiki buys back most of the time." She grinned. "That guy knows how to make the guys happy with food, and since it's mostly his fault that we eat dinner together, it works well." There was a thoughtful pause. "Not to mention the guy's high-class enough to know where the good food is."
The group lapsed back into contented silence. Alas, it was not for long.
"Nandayo?!" Ichimaru's ever-present smile faltered, his eyes flying open in shock as he glared at Urahara.
"Ichimaru-san? Is there a problem?" Everyone's eyes flew to Urahara, who had calmly picked up a piece of vegetable from the plate that Nanao had just poked at with her chopsticks. He was chewing on the vegetable, a devious look in his eyes, a smirk coming to his face.
"You changed two dishes this time!" Hitsugaya-kun's eyes narrowed as he pointed an accusing finger at Urahara, who beamed and shook his head. Everyone else looked down at their plates, gulping.
"I only changed one." His eyes strayed to the meat dish, a secretive smirk on his face. All of a sudden, the pot of stew looked particularly menacing. Those who had eaten the meat, namely Ikkaku, Renji and some of the other guys blanched. They reached for their drinks, taking large gulps. If it were possible, the grin on Urahara-san's face grew wider. There was a snigger.
"You did something to the drinks." A voice stated from the doorway.
"Ah, Kuchiki-san! You're back! Perfect! We can start soon."
"Don't try and change the subject, Kisuke."
The blond scientist rubbed at the back of his hair nervously, a sheepish grin on his face. "You got me."
"You copied my idea."
Absolute silence. A strangled gasp from Yoruichi. "W-What?!"
"You have already forgotten the time we played poker, Yoruichi?"
"That was you?!" A pause. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to clean the red stains out of the floor? Or how much water we all drank that night? You are so dead." Her eyes narrowed, glaring at him. Everyone else except Nanao could see that this was merely good-natured ribbing.
"Oh really? Pray tell, then. Who is going to ensure that the money that pays for the laundry services stays within the organization? Who will make sure that the money can be spent? You get the money, Demon Cat. I make sure we keep the money. We just need someone to count the money."
"Shut it and sit down, Byakuya. Some of us want to eat." Ichimaru dragged a chair out from seemingly nowhere.
"You're still hungry, Gin?"
"Nah. But you guys are." The grin widened.
Nanao was stunned. Kuchiki Byakuya? That lawyer guy? CEO of Kuchiki Corporation? That person that turned up for nearly every networking event that was held in Japan? That person was a member of the yakuza? And such a high-level member? She was really going to have to rethink her outlook on the organization.
"Ah, pardon me. I have already eaten. I will go set up the presentation." He inclined his head slightly to Kyouraku-san and Ukitake-san, before turning to leave the room.
"Hmph. Too good to eat with us?"
"Too full to eat a second dinner, Kurotsuchi." He glowered at Mayuri-san before leaving.
"Cheh. Pretty boy. Why do we keep him around anyway?" No one bothered to answer the question, instead digging into the food. Nanao on the other hand, was confused. Drinks were not a dish, and with the sort of person that Urahara-san seemed to be, that would mean that he had intentionally misled them.
"You're not eating, Ise-san?" Said scientist smirked slyly in her direction. "Anything wrong with the food?"
Not breaking eye contact, she reached out with her chopsticks and picked a piece of leafy vegetable from the plate he had taken his food from. She would not back down that easily. Besides, she had noticed that he had not taken food from a few plates and as such, those were the ones that she knew to avoid. Photographic memory did help.
He smiled at her, a true smile now. They had come to something similar to an understanding, it seemed. The rest of the table, excluding Ichimaru-san who was not eating, merely sitting back and enjoying himself, was rather confused. And for those who knew Urahara well, they were rather afraid. Everyone stopped eating, and Urahara pouted.
"Not a word, Kisuke. Now, tell us, which dish did you change?" He pointed morosely at the half-finished plate of carrots, half-sulking and half-looking very pleased with himself.
"And what did you add to it?" Ikkaku's voice was low and dangerous.
"Not tellin' ya. But don't ya worry. It's quite harmless." He grinned happily, clapping hands together. "I daresay that Kuchiki-san is ready, and that Hisagi and the newbies have been waiting long enough, no? It's time for us to go for the presentation."
"We'll get ya for this, Kisuke! Mark my words!"
"That's what you said the last time, Abarai-kun."
"Yeah well, I'll do it this time!"
"That's also what you said last week, Madarame-san."
No one was hungry, and slowly, they filed into the next room, where they could hear the noises from outside the door which indicated the presence of the newbies.
A paper was passed around the group, on which was scrawled a rather untidy message. Whose turn is it to throw a tantrum this time? It was Zaraki and Ikkaku last month, and Ichimaru and Hitsugaya the month before that.
It's mine. And Ukitake-sempai's. The paper was whisked away, a silver pen brought out, an elegant cursive script appearing on the slip.
The room's occupants looked silently from the white-haired man to the sharply dressed one. They winked at each other, Kuchiki gesturing for Ukitake to begin.
"OH REALLY?! AND YOU WERE INTENDING TO TELL ME WHEN?" He grabbed a piece of metal and threw it in the opposite direction of Kuchiki-san, allowing it to contact violently with the door behind him. There was a loud clunk, and Nanao noted that the sounds outside the door had stopped abruptly.
"Yesterday." His voice was raised to a volume much higher than normal, tense with fake anger. Nanao was sure that it could be heard from outside. All around the two actors, the various men and women were doing their best not to laugh. Ichimaru was brandishing a video camera from a position that neither man could see.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE JUST GOT CONNED OUT OF FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS? WHY WE EVEN KEEP YOU AROUND I DON'T KNOW!" Ukitake slammed a hand on the table, standing up and pushing his chair back.
"My many apologies, Ukitake-sempai." Kuchiki-san was gritting his teeth, though whether it was because he was trying not to laugh or whether he was truly angry Nanao did not know. This was a splendid performance.
"DON'T APOLOGIZE! JUST GET THE DAMN MONEY BACK!"
"At once, Ukitake-sempai." He turned slightly, shuffling at the floor, walking towards the door with deliberately loud footsteps. She could almost feel the threatening aura surrounding the two men spread, and she was very sure that the new intake would be shivering on the other side. Pure brilliance.
"NOT NOW, YOU FOOLISH IDIOT! THE NEW INTAKE IS WAITING SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE THAT DAMN DOOR FOR YOUR DAMN PRESENTATION! YOU BETTER DO A DAMN GOOD JOB, OR YOU CAN SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR LOUSY HEAD!" He lapsed into coughs, and everyone looked concernedly at him. Until he waved a hand and brandished a white handkerchief in front of their faces. The atmosphere relaxed suddenly.
"Yes, Sempai." Kuchiki Byakuya sat back down, a satisfied smirk on his face before it was quickly wiped off in favor of his calm placid look.
Just then, a piece of paper found its way into her hands. Now's your cue. Open the door, Nanao-san. Kick all the crying ones out.
She nodded to the two of them, rising from her seat. The door was easy enough to open, swinging inwards silently. The tall man behind the door, spiky hair, '69' tattoo and scratches on his face started back at her, an eyebrow raised in question. Nodding politely to him, she turned to survey the small bunch. They all looked rather alright to her. A couple of wimpy looking ones, but really, as long as they did not try to back out, the organization would be fine.
She stepped aside, allowing them to enter and stand around the room, behind the chairs of the top few, who had vacated the room. She supposed that they were hiding in the kitchen, pressing their ears against the door and listening. Closing the door behind her, she turned to the man outside. "Ise Nanao." Shaking her hand, he nodded. "Hisagi Shuuhei, Law Consultant."
Behind them, somehow concealed behind a screen but such that his shadow was visible (Nanao suspected that it had something to do with the mirrors at the side.) Byakuya cleared his throat menacingly. "Before you begin your tenure within the organization, there are a few key things to take note of."
There was silence as he paused, head tilted as he seemingly surveyed the group.
"Or rather, only one thing. If you have a half a brain, you would know that this is the key to everything." It was a tone similar to the one that Nanao used for Very-Stupid-People. Except that it was about five times colder, and twice as scary. She was impressed. Quite impressed.
A gunshot rang out, and a hole appeared in the screen and in the wall above the door.
The girl nearest to the door blanched. The room of newbies jumped. Nanao almost felt pity for the newbies. Almost.
"Loyalty."
He swept elegantly around the screen, and as Nanao cast a glance over to Hisagi, she saw that the man was trying his darndest not to laugh. She shuffled slowly over, so slowly that no one else noticed, not even Hisagi until she was next to him. "What's so funny?" She whispered.
His eyes widened slightly. "You're new?" She nodded, waiting his response. "Kuchiki-sempai has the tendency to exaggerate. And he's best at being melodramatic. Every month he gets better. But this," He gestured to the tall and menacing figure towering over a scared teenager with too many earrings.
"This takes the cake. Even Ichimaru-san can't do this. If the newbies aren't scared enough, I'll eat my choker."