Disclaimer: I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh

*Guidance*

"What are you talking about?" the counselor asked in panic.

Yami chuckled, "It's simple. Beat me in a duel, and Yugi will leave Domino High. Though, I'm sure when our duel is over with, you will see that Yugi is not crazy."

"Duel?" the counselor asked, "like those card games that all those kids have been getting addicted to? My specialty this month has been Duel Monsters rehab. Perhaps you should look into it?"

Yami frowned, "I think not."

The counselor laughed, "Well with all those cards I've confiscated, I'm sure to win!"

"We shall see."

After assembling their decks, they laid out a small arena on a coffee table. They each drew up their cards.

"Ladies first," Yami said with a grin.

*Art*

Young Mokuba Kaiba had recently transferred to the high school, due to his exceptionally good grades (and bribery from Kaiba). He opened the door to his new class, which he was late to. At the front of the room, Mokuba saw his worst nightmare.

"Why hello Mokuba," said a rather camp Pegasus.

Mokuba screamed at the top of his lungs. Everyone in the room covered their ears.

"Mokuba, get a hold of yourself!" Pegasus yelled.

"KIDNAPPER!" Mokuba yelled.

A teacher from the next room over ran into the room.

"WHAT IS GOING ON!?" they yelled.

*Home Ec*

A fireman ran into the Home Economics room as everyone stood outside shaking. One girl was crying as the teacher rubbed her temples. Moments later, the fireman exited the room and approached the teacher. He had a large bag in his hand.

"Somebody left this in the oven too long," he said as he handed her the bag. She looked inside and saw a burnt pizza, "it was in kitchen one."

Everyone turned their heads to Joey and Tristan.

"But-but--we didn't even cook our pizzas yet!" Joey exclaimed.

"Well, someone from the last class must have left it in the oven. You should always check the oven before turning it on," the fireman lectured, "luckily the damage was contained to that one oven. You may want to clean it out before using it again."

The teacher nodded, "thank you again Mr. Wells."

The fireman walked off as everyone returned to the classroom.

*Back in Art*

Mokuba ran over the teacher and pointed at Pegasus. "WHAT IS HE DOING HERE!?" Mokuba asked demandingly.

"Mokuba, calm down," Pegasus answered, "I'm the new art teacher."

"Huh?" Mokuba asked, as everyone else nodded.

"Yes, I've finally decided to realize my old dream of being an art teacher. Now, are you going to continue screaming your head off or are you gonna sit down and learn something for a change?"

Mokuba apologized to the other teacher and sat down at an empty desk.

"Now class," Pegasus said as the other teacher left, "I will demonstrate the different brush strokes that can be found in a portrait."

Pegasus then bent over and picked up a large portrait of an elegant, blonde haired blue-eyed woman.

"Who's that?" a kid asked as he raised his hand.

"Oh, this is a portrait of my wife. I did it myself," Pegasus bragged, "there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her."

"Why?" the kid asked, "did she leave you?"

The rest of the class giggled as Pegasus began to turn red.

"No!" Pegasus barked, then sighed, "she passed away on our wedding night."

"Yeah right," the kid whispered to Mokuba, "she left him."

Mokuba and the others giggled more as Pegasus turned a darker red.

"She did not!" he insisted, "she fell ill during the reception and passed away. I personally blame the chefs."

"So wait," Mokuba asked, "she died before you went on your honeymoon?" Pegasus nodded "And you haven't been with another woman since?"

"That's right," Pegasus replied.

"So you're a virgin?" another boy asked. A sweat drop appeared on Pegasus' head.

"Mm...uh....," Pegasus began to say. Everyone pointed and laughed at him. Pegasus growled.

"STOP IT!" he yelled, "IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"How old are you anyway?" Mokuba asked.

"Um, 24," Pegasus answered. Mokuba gave him a look, and Pegasus sighed, "39." Everyone laughed harder as Pegasus was on the verge of a melt-down.

*Shop*

"Alright, let's go over some rules," said a grizzly man missing a tooth and half a finger, "1. No screwing around in this room unless you have a death wish. 2. Wear safety equipment at all times--"

Bakura's hand shot up and the teacher sighed, "What is it?"

"Um, sir," Bakura said nervously, "I really don't think I belong here. Maybe I should see the counselor about getting transferred."

"Don't be a wuss," the teacher growled, "besides, all the other classes are full."

"Sir," Bakura insisted, "I don't think you understand. Bad things happen when I'm near tools."

Bakura shook, as he could already hear his Yami cackling.

"Fine," the teacher growled, "I'll e-mail her right now. Until I hear back, you need to participate like everyone else."

Bakura sighed, "I hope she doesn't have her hands full."

*Back in Guidance*

The counselor drew a card and placed two traps on the field. "Now I place a monster face-down in defense mode."

Yami raised an eyebrow, "You seem to know this game pretty well."

The counselor smiled, "I watch kids play it all the time. Your move."

Yami drew a card and smiled, "I place a card face-down on the field. Then I summon, Gazelle, the Kind of Mythical Beasts, in attack mode!"

A giant version of the monster appeared out of nowhere. The counselor screamed, "A MONSTER! A REAL MONSTER!"

"Now do you think Yugi is crazy?" Yami asked.

"Yugi might not be," the counselor replied, "but you sure are!" Yami frowned.

"You'll regret those words," he said, "Gazelle, attack her face-down monster!"

The monster charged after the card. Then, a Giant Soldier of Stone appeared, and Gazelle ran smack into it. Yami's mouth dropped.

The counselor laughed, "looks like you lose five-hundred life points."

Yami frowned, "it looks like I may have underestimated you."

*Chemistry*

Marik sighed as he looked through his book. The teacher stood at the chalk board talking about compounds. Marik looked around the room, gazing at vials of liquids.

Marik raised his hand, "when we will get to mix chemicals?"

"Not until we go over all the safety guidelines," the teacher answered.

"And when will that be?" Marik asked with a frown.

"In about a week," the teacher answered, "and you must have a form signed by a guardian."

Marik groaned, "There's no way Ishizu will sign my form. Not after last time."

Marik had a small flashback to the previous month. He had been attending school in Egypt, and one of the lab assignments went horribly wrong. Though there were no reported fatalities, half the wing had to undergo construction.

"Wait," Marik said as a thought struck him, "I still have my Millennium Rod!" The classmates made an 'ewww' sound. "Not that kind of rod you pervs!"

Marik pulled out a long, golden staff that had the Eye of Horus on a ball at the top. Marik pointed the rod at his teacher, and suddenly the teacher looked more dazed and confused than previously.

"Now," Marik commanded, "let's mix some chemicals!"

*Back in Art*

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Pegasus yelled, "the next person that causes any trouble will go straight to the Shadow Realm! If you think I'm above using my Millennium Eye on a minor then you've got another thing coming!"

The class stared at him, as if he were crazy.

"The Shadow Realm?" a boy asked, "are you crazy?"

Pegasus pulled his hair away from his face, revealing his Millennium Eye. The eye glowed as a beam of light hit the boy. The boy's expression changed to that of a mindless zombie, and he fell out of his seat.

"NO!! STEVIE!!" another boy yelled.

"Now will you cooperate?" Pegasus asked. In response, everyone screamed and ran out of the room. Pegasus muttered to himself, "This could be bad."

*Back in Shop*

Bakura shook as he stood near a buzz saw and a piece of lumber. There was a long line of kids standing behind him. He'd been standing there for over a minute, and the group had had enough.

"Would you hurry it up!?" the teacher yelled.

All of a sudden, Bakura's Millennium Ring appeared, and he features changed ever so slightly.

"Alright, who said that!?" yelled the Thief Bakura, as he picked up a hammer, "Come say that to my face you coward!"

The teacher walked towards him and started yelling, "you put that hammer down right now or I'll expel you!"

The Thief Bakura laughed hysterically, causing everyone to back away from him.

"No you fool," he said, "I'll expel you, to the Shadow Realm!"

Bakura's Ring began to glow, and the room changed into a dark area of warped space. Then, all the tools came alive at once, and began to chase everyone around the room. Everyone screamed and ran around in circles and the Thief Bakura laughed hysterically.

A/N: Well, I think this is the point where everyone starts to become traumatized. No wonder Yugi and his friends don't go to school. Keep the comments coming!