.A/N: First: I am so very sorry for not replying for your reviews, but you see the review replier wasn't working again, so I couldn't send you the quote. So I am so sorry.

Ok, just so you know, about 85 percent of this story is EPOV, there are a few surprises from Bella's side, that I won't be revealing now, so I have to keep it from Edward's point of view, but I will do my best to try to squeeze in as much BPOV as possible.

Hope you like this chappy!!

Recap:

But I'd have to be really strong to be able to face her rejection, her fear, her disgust and I wasn't. So I decided to just observe her from the shadows. Nevertheless, I could see her now. Something I only dreamt about for the last four months. Maybe, one day, I could be strong enough to face her.

3. Another chance

"I'm sorry for your pain

I'm sorry for your tears

But what I still do

I'm still loving you"

EPOV

Gradually Carlisle's hurt subsided from my head, leaving me to deal with my own. I watched as she stared wide eyed after Carlisle. I tried to explain her horrifying expression in any other way but fear. But I failed. She was afraid…..no, she was terrified. I could hear her heart pounding against her chest. I could see the blood drain from her face, leaving her almost as pale as me. I could hear her quick breathing as a sign of fear. All of them were signs of fear. And they should all be directed at me.

I watched as she started shaking. Her whole figure was vibrating. Angela and the one who was named Emily exchanged a panicked look as Bella started sobbing.

"Bella" Angela said slowly……cautiously. I didn't understand why she was so wary. But I saw why after exactly two seconds. Bella's fingers found her hair and her eyes squeezed. Her mouth opened and a deafening raspy scream erupted.

My hands flew to cover my ears as I saw what was happening. Angela and Emily quickly started to take away what was on Bella's bedside. The glass vase and the lamp.

Emily quickly ran to her purse and got her cell phone out. She called an unfamiliar number hastily.

Bella started to rock herself back and forth violently. She hit the headboard and pushed herself again and again. I just stared stunned. What was going on?

Her scream was becoming raspier and raspier.

"Damien" Emily shouted in the phone.

"Again? Where are you?" an unrecognizable male voice answered her frantically.

Emily quickly told him the name of the hospital.

"Good, I'm close. Five seconds exactly" and he hung up.

"Bella, Bella" Angela shouted so she could hear her but there was no response other than her ear piercing screams.

Suddenly the door flew open and a tall, man…………

Man? No! he wasn't a man. He was a vampire!

Pale face and golden eyes. What was a vampire doing here?

Let me rephrase that, what was another vampire doing here?

The vampire named Damien ran to Bella's bed with a calm look on his face. He sat on his knees beside Bella's bed and softly called her name.

He slowly pulled away Bella's fingers from her hair and restrained them in one hand.

"Bella" he whispered again. He stroked her hair and cheek softly.

Slowly her screams started to disappear and her heavy breathing started to appear.

He was still stroking her hair and face when her screams died, and I was too stunned to envy him.

Slowly her eyes started to open. Her eyes took their time to focus, till they did on his face. She looked pained.

"Again?" She mouthed and her eyes tightened.

"I'm sorry, but yes" he whispered. She squeezed her eyes and moaned. He wrapped his arms around her and she hugged him back as she rested her head on his shoulder. I could hear her soft sobs as she cried on his shoulder. He stroked her back, "shhh. It's ok, it's ok" he whispered.

Worst seizure she's ever had. Wonder what happened? He thought and I gasped.

Seizure?! No….no….it can't be. No!

BELLA DID NOT JUST HAVE A SEIZURE! I shouted in my head. See what you did to her?? See what you did you monster? They had to take away anything that could be sharp. Like the vase and the lamp, if they were broken and she reached them……….

"Would you please give me and Bella some privacy?" he asked them politely. They nodded and quietly departed.

"Okay, Bella. We're alone now. What happened?" He whispered to her. She sniffed and pulled away. She took his hand in hers and closed her eyes.

"Carlisle's here" She whispered.

What?? The fool's father is here? No wonder it was so bad this time.

"And……did you…see him?" She would understand who I meant.

"No" She barely mouthed.

He'd better not show up. Because if he did, I don't know what I'd do.

He meant me. Was he and Bella that ….close? were they….? I gulped. It was possible. I stared at him and realized that he could be counted as handsome. He had dark hair that was neatly messed. He was tall and slim.

He seemed nice, but as the shock of what happened started to wear off. I started to feel the pain increase, but at the same time I started to feel some uncivilized feelings towards this Damien.

"What did it feel like? Seeing Carlisle again?" I noticed how he squeezed her hand and that caused a course of completely different emotions to stir through me. I felt fury, who was he to hold her hand that way? I felt pain, I couldn't be the one comforting her. And much to my surprise, I felt a little comforted, at least there was someone there who could make her feel better. Someone who could lessen some of the pain that I had inflicted. This strange variety of emotions made my head spin as I tried to make myself focus to hear her answer.

"I……I don't…know. I thought…it was one…of my dreams again…..I still don't know if it was or……wasn't" She whispered as she dropped her head and stared at her hand. He squeezed her hand again and the same mixed emotions increased.

"I know it must be hard and confusing. But Bella, did you forget? You're cured from that. Your mind can differentiate between dream and reality again" he told her softly.

I

Couldn't

Breathe.

Bella's mind couldn't distinguish between reality and fantasy?!

Monster!

My fault!

Monster!

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get all of this out of me now. So what did I do? I ran away. I ran away from the site of her pain. The pain that I inflicted. The pain that I caused INTENTIONALLY.

I escaped into the forest that was close to the hospital. I could hear the sobs ripping from my chest. I could see my eyes blur from the tears that had no hope of falling. But I didn't stop till I was deep in. Once I was sure no human could see I ran directly to the tree that was in front of me. I dug my fingers in it's trunk and ripped the tree out of it's roots.

Using the tree that I ripped, I started hitting that trees that were around me violently……wildly…….uncontrollably.

What have you done to her?

Why did you do this to her?

You knew this would hurt her!

Filthy, Rotten, Monster.

To make her safe? Are you a fool?

How safe do you think she is now?

How safe do you think she was when you left?

She had a seizure

She suffered from her minds inability to distinguish between what was real and what wasn't!

You fool!

The loud bangs of the trees echoed as did my sobbing. Once it was no longer useful, I crushed what was left of the tree that was in my hands and threw it away.

My sobs loud and disturbing as I fell onto my knees with my face in my hands.

"Edward" I heard a broken whisper. Esme.

And suddenly, I was a child. I felt like I was no more than a silly child who did something terribly wrong and wanted nothing more than his mother to take care of it. To tell him everything will be ok. Even if it was a lie to calm me down.

"Mom?" I croaked through my sobs. "How…?"

"Carlisle told me. I thought you might be here" She whispered and I heard her come closer to me.

This was where I spent most of my time if I wasn't in my room. If there thoughts were too much for me to handle. I came here.

I felt her hand on my shoulder and her other hand under my chin. She lifted my face up slowly. She forced my eyes to meet her kind golden ones.

"What happened?" She whispered softly. I noticed that she was sitting on her knees too.

"She……she……had a seizure……because of m……me" I managed to choke out.

Her kind gaze didn't change, it gave me relief and it disappointed me. Relief was because I didn't want my only mother to hate me. Disappointed because I wanted her to be mad at me. I wanted someone to shout at me, blame me, make me suffer more than she did.

Monster, Monster, Monster.

"Please, stop calling yourself that" Esme pleaded.

I hadn't realized that I was saying it out loud. But I stopped for her sake.

"You are not a monster Edward. You tried to do what you thought was right, but it didn't work. That doesn't make you a monster Edward. It makes you human" She whispered kindly.

I didn't want her to give me a justification for what I did. I didn't want her to make me think that I wasn't entirely wrong, because I was. So even though I knew what she meant I said, "but I'm not human"

"You know what I mean. We aren't biologically human but that doesn't mean we are angels. We are allowed to make mistakes too. You are allowed to make mistakes." She touched my cheek and continued, "I know you don't believe it but we do have a soul. And yours is one of the purest I've ever seen."

I didn't answer her. She already knew I didn't believe what she was saying, but I was really trying hard to change that. I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe that I was good, that I had a soul. That I wasn't a monster for desiring Bella. For wanting to be with her forever when she deserved to live a happy human life. But I just……couldn't.

"Edward. Human, vampire, werewolf……they all come down to two things. A heart and a mind. Your heart wants to cherish her, but your mind wants to leave her be. Am I correct?" She asked as she put her other hand on my other cheek.

Was my inner conflict so clear to them? I was stunned. But I nodded.

"You tried your mind's way, and it didn't work. Don't you think it's time you gave your heart a chance? Doesn't it deserve a chance to love after living a century of loneliness? Don't you?" I couldn't meet her eyes and I don't know why. I just knew that I couldn't object on her words because they were……mostly right.

"Esme, I know that my heart deserves love after such a long solitude, but not that love. Not her love. I do not deserve her love. I didn't deserve it before, and I most certainly don't deserve it now. Not after what I've done to her" I mumbled to the ground.

"Give yourself another chance Edward. You are so much better than who you think you are. Right now you are so clouded with self-hatred that you want nothing more than to hurt yourself. All of us are willing to give you another chance, but do you think it's fair when you deny yourself that chance? When everyone is willing to give it to you?" She whispered softly as she lifted my eyes again to meet hers. They were full with kindness, love, and understanding. There was a little hint of pain but I knew it was there due to mine.

"She won't give me another chance. She's found……someone……else" I choked. Esme just smiled.

"I really doubt it Edward" she struggled for a while to explain something then she said, "Maybe she got very close to this person but it wouldn't be called love. No one can ever love someone when they are in the situation she is in." She stroked my hair as if trying to take away as much pain as possible out of her words. I smiled at her attempt.

"Promise me you'll give yourself another chance, please?" she repeated.

I stared at her for a moment in silence. Her pleading eyes begged me to agree. I battled with myself. Trying as much as possible not to think of why I should not give myself a second chance as I drew in a breath and said,

"I promise, Esme. I promise"

A/N: Tada! 3 surprises in one chappy! See? Hope you liked it.

Hi Tant Rania :P hehehe, hope you liked it, too.

Love

Mai