Will you ever forgive me for how long this has taken? I'm so sorry… Things are been beyond stressful in life right now. Finals this week, graduation on Sunday… Family flying into Seattle for said graduation… Finding a subletter (which yay, I did!), packing up my apartment and ultimately, driving back to California next Tuesday… Oh… and getting my grad school applications to London…

There may be maybe a break in June as my two best friends from London are flying to California for a two and a half week period… And that means we will be traveling down the coast to LA for a weekend and well, I might revert back into my 'London alcoholism" that nearly killed my liver a year ago haha. But also I just haven't seen them in over a year and well… Though I'll be back there in September it is going to be nice to have a bit of a vacation after this damn stressful last year of college.

Once this week is over, and things slow down, it will be easier and I can write the chapters the way they SHOULD be written… Which is why this is kind of a bit of a filler… Things are going to change drastically for our characters and that requires a lot more effort and my full attention… I think people will like that Edward is going to grow a backbone soon… I should also note, that the NEXT chapter will contain another flash into the future… Probably picking up in September or October.

I do have to say, I was overwhelmed by the support in the last chapter. Amazing! I never expected that many people to comment and review… And would it be too much to ask to see that again? I read each and every single one of them and they warm my heart! Thank you!

And now… On to the chapter.

You Found Me
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any recognizable characters

Chapter Thirteen

I'm on the corner waiting for a light to come on
That's when I know that you're alone
It's cold in the desert, water never sees the ground
Special unspoken without sound

Told me you love me, that I'd never die alone
Hand over your heart, let's go home
Everyone noticed, everyone has seen the signs
I've always been known to cross lines

I never ever cried when I was feeling down
I've always been scared of the sound
Jesus don't love me, no one ever carried my load
I'm too young to feel this old

Here's to you, here's to me
On to us, nobody knows
Nobody sees, nobody but me

Kings of Leon, "Cold Desert"

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The house was quiet though not the comfortable quiet that she would have liked. Tension seemed to linger in the atmosphere, thick enough that she feared she wouldn't be able to hid it from the guests that would be arriving. She was right in the middle of what she could only describe as the calm before the storm and if Bella knew anything, it was that she wasn't looking forward to the dinner that was planned, the one that she had painstakingly been planning for the past two days and incidentally, spent the entire day preparing for. Reaching for the remote control that rested on the cool marble counter top, she turned the music up louder to drown out her thoughts, they were too painful and she was certain she never hated herself more than she did now. Yiruma filled the large kitchen. She usually loved the sound of the piano, the soft delicate sounds that emanated from the large instrument, but it seemed that it wasn't enough for her anymore. It wasn't the instrument she longed to hear. She wanted one thing, a guitar and more than that, she wanted nothing more than to hear it playing a soft lullaby, her lullaby.

Things were so fucking complicated for her and she hated it. She had her husband: the man who hadn't seemed to appreciate her but whom she felt she owed a few more months to. She needed to know that he would be taken care of; that he would have what he had been working so hard for. Only then would her guilt be placated. But more importantly, she knew she also had Edward, the man who she now knew was the love of her life. What killed her the most was how desperately she wanted, more than anything else, to be with him and now; she felt trapped. She was trapped between her two worlds: the reality and the fantasy and she couldn't help but wonder if fantasy become her reality or would the world always manage to continue hitting her when she was down?

Any fear that Edward wouldn't want her because of her possible infertility was assuaged the moment they sat together at the edge, but the fear that he wouldn't wait for her was more palpable than ever. It was barely July and if Jake was certain that it would take until nearly February to find out if he would get the promotion, she wouldn't be able to really be with him for nearly seven months from now. Almost a year. She wasn't even sure she could hold out that long anymore.

"Hi," she said, her lips forming a small half smile as he opened the door to his flat. She could see Hudson lying in the other room and his ears perk up as he heard her voice. It warmed her heart to know that she had that kind of effect on everyone that resided in the rather large flat, it made her feel as though she belonged there, that she was an important fixture in their lives. Though Hudson was his dog, he seemed to be like their child. She had come to love their walks and scratching his head as he lay at their feet. It was a family, their family, her family.

"Hello beautiful." His arm shot out and wrapped around her waist, pulling her from the hallway and into the room with him. She knew the door had closed, though in his haste and ability to dazzle her senseless, she hadn't taken notice to the action; the only thing she felt was his lips as they pressed lightly against her own before he pulled away and looked at her for a moment.

"I missed you," he said, his warm breath fanning against her neck as he lowered his head and nuzzled the area.

"I missed you too," she whispered, her mind willing her body and heart not to respond to his affections, it was useless yes, but she knew she had to try. She had come over for a specific reason. She had to tell him what was happening. She had to tell him that she needed to be with Jake a little while longer. Still, she knew that it would break not only her heart, but also his own. In fact, if she was truly honest with herself, she knew that it would hurt him even more than she wanted to admit and she didn't want him to feel that way, she didn't want to hurt him more than she already was. Still, she was too damn selfish to give it up.

"Edward?" Her voice was shy and timid as it broke through the silence and with her head pressed against his chest, she could hear his heart beat stutter before picking up a faster pace.

"What?"

"I have to tell you something…" her voice trailed and his head snapped up. She could see the fear in his eyes and she knew that what he was thinking. He may not have worn his emotions on his face, but he showed them in the depths of his green eyes. Every single thought and emotion was swimming there. She knew he was afraid she was leaving him and she wanted so badly to tell him that she never would.

"What… What's wrong?"

She took his hand and led him to the living room where they sat on the couch. "I can't leave him yet…"

"What do you mean? I thought…"

"I know…" she sighed and squeezed his hand tighter.

"No Bella… You said you would leave him by the end of the month." His voice was faltering and when she looked up, the sight broke her heart. His eyes were bright but not with the happiness and love that she often saw in them, this time they were bright from the reflection of the tears that were filling them and he was fighting to keep them from escaping. "You said we would be together without all this sneaking around."

"I know…"

"What the fuck happened then? What changed in twenty four hours?"

"He's up for promotion…"

"What does that have to do with you?"

"I need to act like a 'wife' for a few more months… I don't want to Edward… I don't want to at all… But I can't be with you if he isn't taken care of. I can't… I can't do that. I feel bad enough as it is and if he isn't taken care of… Shit… I just don't know what to do anymore… I want you… I want to be with you more than anything but…" Her voice trailed, her thoughts all confused and it made words almost impossible to find.

He closed his eyes and angled his chin towards the grown as he let out a long, deep sigh. She wanted him to push her away, to tell her to get out and to never come back, that she had managed to hurt him enough and he couldn't keep doing this. It would have been fair, she would have understood and so much of her, though terrified that he would, wanted him to. She was sick with guilt over how she felt, over how she was treating him. Why did he have to do this? What was he so god damn masochistic? How was she worth this?

But no, he didn't give her what she needed to hear. Instead, he was understanding, more so than she had imaged. He hadn't even fought her that hard. "How long?"

She bit her lip, "a few months?" She wanted to tell him that it would be longer than that but he looked so fragile, so upset. She would tell him later, when the wound had healed a little more. He could leave her, she knew that, and so much of her wanted him to. But she was selfish and she needed him. He kept her strong and there was no way she could stay strong if he wasn't with her.

Shaking her head as if to shake the thoughts from her mind, she leaned down and opened the oven door. The heat hit her face and she closed her eyes for a moment and welcomed it. Her own personal hell. How perfect that it was in her home, before a dinner that would benefit no one but her husband. How perfect that it was this, his job, that was continuing to send her life reeling and out of her control. No… She could control it. She could tell Jake that she was leaving, god knows he deserved it, but it wouldn't do anything to fix her. In order for her to come out of this, she knew that she would have to be sure that he was okay. It was the only way she wouldn't feel guilty. He may not have been the best husband in the world, far from it, but at the same time, did he deserve what she was doing to him?

Her eyes snapped open once the heat had dissipated slightly and she checked the thermometer. There was still about an hour left before the roast would be finished. It would give them sufficient time for horse d'oeuvres and pre dinner drinks, which would, in theory, give her time to prepare the soufflés for dessert. Still, she just wanted this night to be over and done with and it hadn't even started yet. Her bed was calling to her and she knew that upstairs, her phone was plugged in and his voice was only a god damn call away. That was what she wanted, what she needed and yet, she was hours away from it.

"Turn that crap down!" Jacob's voice bellowed through the small door and she jerked up, startled by the noise. Her fingers grazed the heated edge of the oven and her hand burned. The pale flesh burning a soft pink that she knew would later be a bright red.

"Shit." She winced and brought her finger to her mouth, sucking on the burned skin, blinking back the tears that were threatening to mess the makeup she was wearing.

"What?"

"You made me burn myself."

He chuckled, "I didn't do anything, you're the one who is always hurting yourself."

"Thanks Jake." Bella rolled her eyes at him. She was angry, but there was no point in causing drama at this point. The clock read seven, and that could only mean that his guests would be showing up soon.

"Don't forget to turn that damn music down Bella."

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The doorbell rang and Bella wiped her hands on the apron before taking it off and walking into the foyer where Jacob was standing, his hand on the door. He looked at her, a silent conversation stating 'ready or not' seemed to transpire between the two of them and she was by his side. Carefully, and almost reluctantly, he slipped his arm around her waist as he opened the door to find the three couples standing there; she had to fight every instinct in her body not to pull away from him. It didn't feel right, his arms were cold and hard and unfriendly.

Pleasantries were exchanged when the door opened and as Bella glanced up, something in the air bringing her attention to the street and it was there that she saw the figure pass by on the sidewalk and she felt the eyes as they burned into her. She knew who it was, it wasn't hard to figure out, no one could quicken the beat of her heart like he did, no one could touch her so deep down that it lit her entire body on fire. She quickly extracted herself from Jacob's grasp, feeling a sense of betrayal to the eyes that still watched her and her anxiety flared deep within her knowing she would have to find a way to slip out to see what was wrong. He had never visited her at her home before, at least, not when they could get caught.

Once the guests were settled and drinks and appetizers served, she retreated back into the kitchen thinking of any excuse she could to get out of the house for a few moments. When her eyes fell across the nearly full bottle of Grand Marnier that was going to be used in the soufflés, she reached for it and opened it. The orange liquor filled her senses and she put the bottle to her lips, taking a long swig and feeling the heat of the liquid as it slid down her throat. Drunk. It would be one way to get through the night.

Shaking her head however, she knew she couldn't do that; it would ruin everything if she did and it would only prolong the situation that she was in anyways. After one last long swig however, she walked to the sink and turned the tap on, watching as the water swirled in the sink and made its way down the drain. No evidence. It could just go straight down the drain and she could go and get another bottle. Jake wouldn't fight her on that, the soufflés were a critical aspect of the dinner. Her lips pulled into a small smile, Edward. She would see him soon and the wasted money was worth it. Smiling even wider, she watched as the liquor poured down the drain and the orange scent tickled her nose. Soon. So damn soon.

With the bottle empty, she reached for her purse and slung it over her shoulder and made her way into the family room where their guests were sitting and discussing something that was probably related to the company. Her intrusion however was noted as all seven eyes fell upon her and her flushed cheeks.

"Jake, I'm so sorry… I thought we had enough liquor but we don't. I need to pop down to the off license a few blocks away to pick up another bottle," she said softly as she looked at her husband, the empty, offending bottle in her hand in case he were to accuse her of lying.

"I thought it was nearly full?"

"I did too," she shrugged. Lying was becoming easier and easier and it scared her slightly. Was she losing herself in all this?

"Would you like some company dear?" Mrs. Davidson's voice asked as Bella turned to walk out of the room.

"Oh no… Please enjoy yourselves, I'll be back soon."

----------

She stepped onto the stoop and scanned the area for his figure. The street was dark and she knew he was hiding. Had she not been so concerned that the guests could hear her, she would have called out his name and it wasn't until he walked under a streetlight in the distant that she had been able to place him. He glowed under it, and the sight made her heart ache. His body however was calling her and before she could make the conscious decision to move, she already was, each footstep bringing her closer to his waiting arms.

"What are you doing here?" she asked once she had managed to successfully run across the small street that the home resided on.

He reached out and pulled her against him, savoring the way her body felt pressed firmly against his own. Home. They stood like that for what felt like a blissful eternity, though she knew it was probably only a few moments at best. His scent filled her nose and she wanted to drown in it, to drown in him.

"Come over tonight," he whispered, his lips against her ear and she shivered, savoring the feeling. She hadn't been this close to him since the day she had told him about Jake's possible promotion and suddenly, she realized just how much she missed it. How much she had missed him. Three days was far too long to be away from him. "I need you with me tonight. I need you."

"But the dinner," she whispered and pressed her forehead against his chest. She could hear his heart beating and with one hand she reached up and placed it over the spot where she heard it the clearest.

"I don't care if it's one o'clock in the morning… Hell it could be three... I just can't spend another night away from you Bella… I need to wake up tomorrow with you in my arms." He sighed and brushed a few strands of hair from her face. "Please Bella…"

"I'll call Rose," she relented, earlier than he had anticipated. He had thought she would have put up a bit more of a fight and the fact that she didn't made his heart swell. Though he knew she loved him, the fact that she was willing to put everything on the line and sneak out of her house with her husband to be with him was enough to reassure him of her feelings and the fact that it was really over with her and Jake. He knew he could wait. She wanted him, not her husband.

She watched the small, triumphant smile as it grew on his face. "I already called Emmett."

"That was a bit presumptuous."

"No, it wasn't."

"How do you figure?"

"I know you," he said softly, slipping his arm tighter around her waist. She just smiled up at him, standing on her toes to press a soft kiss to his lips. "Now… What was your excuse to get out for a few minutes?"

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Mrs. Davidson watched her hostess closely as she flittered around the kitchen, adding this or that to whatever it was that she was mixing and though it smelled delicious, she knew that something was wrong. She always had a fondness for Isabella Black. Something about the young girl had always managed to remind her of herself when she was younger, when she too was in her mid twenties. It was a spark, a flame that had long died out as she became Mrs. Davidson and Amanda Wallace faded into oblivion. Isabella still had a flicker of the flame but she knew that it was slowly dying and she wanted to block that, to hold a shield to it to keep it burning.

Her eyes focused on the small, narrow smile that lit the young woman's face as she opened the bottle of liquor before adding it to the mixture and she realized that it had been absent when she had left the house. Isabella Black had a secret and Amanda knew what it was. She had had many secrets of the sort during her long forty three years of marriage to Carl.

"Who is he?" she asked softly, but only after she had looked over her shoulder to be certain that no one was likely to interrupt.

Startled, Bella snapped her head up and saw the kind eyes of her husband's colleagues wife. "He who?"

"Isabella… Surely I'm not that blind. I know the look on your face and I don't fault you for that."

Bella's cheeks flushed and she looked back down, embarrassed as she had thought she had been so discrete.

"I won't say anything dear… That isn't my place to say anything and it would be hypocritical," she continued. "Women like us… Women who are married to men with power, who thrive on that power and thirst for it, we are so often left neglected. You take love where you can find it. I understand."

"It's not like that."

"What is it like then?"

"I…" She wanted to tell her. She so obviously seemed to understand, but part of Bella's thoughts told her that she didn't. You take love where you can find it. That wasn't what Bella had from Edward. That wasn't it at all. Yes, she had love from him, but there was so much more than that. She had security and safety, she had a promise of a better future, she had promise of a family and a love that seemed to be able to surpass the tests so many others failed.

"It's okay."

"I've never loved anyone as much as I love him," she admitted.

"Then why stay?"

"How would that make Jacob look right now? It's too important of a time and he wants this… I have to help him get this."

"And then?"

"And then I'm gone. All the guilt that we both feel… It's done."

"Is he too unfaithful?"

"Not that I am aware of… But I know the reason we are always at each other is because of this job… We aren't who we were when he began working for AEG… We want different things and we both need to accept that… I think only then will we finally stop hurting each other and let go of the past. I want more… I want something so much more than what I have and I can… I have it within arm's reach but I can't right now. Not until I know Jake is taken care of."

"So self sacrificing?"

"That's not exactly the truth. We loved each other once," Bella responded. "He will always be my friend… I can't just leave him in the dark. I know that I have what I want waiting for me… I need to give him what he wants."

"I hope you know what you're doing." The tone was ominous and before Bella had the chance to ask, she watched as the woman's back retreated into the other room. She knew… She knew what she was doing. Edward had understood. They would be fine. Everything would work out the way it was supposed to and once the promotion was sorted, she would move on with her life and finally allow herself to be happy. She would finally be able to give Edward what he deserved, what she knew rightfully belonged to him: her heart, completely.

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She stood at the sink scrubbing the china that she hadn't even wanted and hissing each time her burned finger passed under the scalding water. She had been on edge all evening, ever since her talk with Mrs. Davidson and the part of her that wasn't concerned about what the woman thought of her was anxious to leave the house to be with Edward again. It was nearing eleven thirty and there still had been no call and she was beginning to wonder if there would be one after all. The thought made her stomach plummet; it had been the one thing that had gotten her through it all, that had gotten her through the night: the prospect of being wrapped in Edward's arms that night. The secure thought that she would fall asleep feeling loved and warm and happy.

"Rosalie called."

Startled, she turned and saw Jake leaning against the island, his arms folded across his chest as he watched her intently.

"When?"

He shrugged and looked at the clock that lit the microwave. "Twenty minutes ago."

"What did she say?"

"Something about a fight with Emmett."

"I have to go," she stuttered quickly before putting the last plate in the dish rack and wiping her hands on the jeans she had changed into once their guests had left.

"Do you have to?"

"She's my best friend. Yes…"

He sighed and rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. "Will you be home tonight?"

"I don't know… I'm going to say no… Just, don't wait up. I'll see you tomorrow at some point." If he called after her, she wouldn't know. All she was focused on was getting to Edward. To see him again and to feel his arms wrapped around her. It was all she wanted, all she needed.

----------

He paced around the apartment and he knew it was making Hudson restless but Rose had called nearly an hour ago to let him know that she had spoken to Jake and that Bella would be on her way soon. So why wasn't she there yet? She should have been there, she should already be in his bed with her, she should already be wrapped tightly in his arms, their bodies should be tangled together and their chests should be rising and falling at a steady pace as they sleep.

If something had happened to her he never would have forgiven himself, especially if it happened while she was rushing to meet up with him. And that, was the only thing he could think about, it was all he could imagine, that something terrible had happened to her and she was hurt somewhere and no one would be able to find her or get to her. It would all he his fault and he would never see her again. He would never see her smile or hear her laugh, he would never get to kiss her lips or touch her body or feel the fire as it spread through his own body each time she touched him.

The buzzer rang, filling the quiet apartment and his heart raced. She was there, she was safe and he didn't bother to check the monitor and he merely pressed the button to unlock the door before opening his own, leaning against the doorframe and keeping his eyes trained on the lift, willing it to move faster and for the damn doors to open.

He let out the breath he hadn't known he had taken when the doors open and she stood there, the light from the elevator showing her in all her beauty. She was dressed simply, especially in contrast to the dress she had been wearing earlier in the night. Still, she was beautiful and he left the door and pulled her from the elevator and into his arms in a matter of moments.

"What took you so long," he whispered. "I was worried."

"I'm sorry… I didn't know Rose had called… She spoke to Jake and he only told me nearly a half hour after the phone conversation had taken place. I tried to get her as quickly as I could," she replied as she nuzzled her forehead against his chest.

"It's okay… You're here… I was just afraid something had happened to you." He pulled away and reached for her hand to pull her into the flat where they could be in their own solitude and enjoy one another but as his had gripped her finger, he noticed her wince. "Are you okay?"

She nodded her head and followed him into the flat, closing the door behind them as he took her hand in his and brought it to his eye level to inspect her fingers. "I just burned myself, it's nothing big."

"I don't agree. It's blistering love," he whispered as he ghosted a kiss over the burned skin. "Come on… I have something we can put on it to sooth it just a little bit. What happened?"

"Jake startled me when I was checking on the roast. Really, it's no big deal."

She watched as his jaw clenched tightly and his free hand balled into a tight fist. "And he didn't check to make sure you hadn't seriously injured yourself?"

"Really… It happens all the time."

He turned around so quick that it nearly made her fall backward and had it not been for the hand he had secured on the small of her back, she knew her ass would have met the floor. She could see the fury in his eyes, the anger that he was feeling at her husband's lack of regard for her and she understood, she did, but at the same time, shit happens, and he couldn't expect every single cut or burn or scrape to be cared for. "It's not okay Isabella. What if this got infected? And it must hurt like hell and you went and fucking cooked for him and his guests and I bet he didn't even fucking thank you for it."

"It's okay… Really…" She whispered, her eyes trained on the floor, unable and unwilling to met his penetrating glare.

"No Bella… It's not okay. He can't keep doing this."

"It was my fault," she replied and he cupped his hand on her chin to force her to look at him. She was nearly crying because she knew how right Edward was, she knew that what he said was the truth. Jacob should have checked to make sure the burn wasn't serious and he hadn't, but he was preoccupied and part of her wondered if they both knew that their marriage was over. No, she knew better than to think that. Deep down she knew that Jake truly did believe that they were still fine, that their relationship was fine. And she knew that was because she let him believe that, she let him think that everything was fine, she had never given him any reason think otherwise.

He sighed. He didn't want to fight with her and this was exactly what was happening. He didn't know how long they would have together, and he wanted to enjoy it but if they kept arguing about Jacob, he knew that he wouldn't be able to. So instead, he just continued his journey to the bathroom and placed her on the counter when they arrived in the large room so that he could get to work dressing the wound.

"Does that hurt?" his voice was soft as he looked up at her eyes and saw that she was blinking back tears.

"No," she replied softly and she turned her attention back to her lap where her had rested in the palm of his while his other hand rubbed the cream on softly. It was the truth too, for the first time all night her hand was surprisingly pain free and she attributed that to the ease that she felt around him. Even if they were 'fighting' or even if things were a bit tense between them, it didn't matter because deep down, she knew that it would be okay, that they would work it out. "I'm sorry."

"No… I'm sorry Bella… I don't want to fight."

"I don't either." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her softly for a moment before pulling away. "Come on… That's taken care of; let's get you to bed… I have a feeling that if you feel even a bit as tired as I do, then you are exhausted."

She nodded and he pushed himself between her legs and picked her up to carry her to his bedroom where they could finally get some peaceful sleep after being away from each other.

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I know it was a short chapter in comparison but it served a point to show Edward's growing frustration. Which, is going to blow up very, very soon…

As always, I'd love to hear from you! And check out the twilighted forum for this, I do post teasers and what not!

Also… On another less important note and I've spoken about it before but there's been a change:

I'd also like to take a bit of time to talk about another story that I'm working on. I'm a Politics major (well, okay I'm graduating in a few days so I have a degree in politics) and I've noted that there are basically NO stories here with a Politician Edward. So I leave it to you...

My working title is Politically Incorrect though that was when I thought it was going to be a certain type of story... I've changed my mind. I can't bring myself to make Edward a womanizer... I tried... Oh how I tried and I wrote two whole chapters but I can't do it...

But my premise is something along the lines of this:

Bella Swan is a 28 year-old political correspondent for the New York Times (I think... Though that could very easily change). She's somewhat jaded, having become disillusioned with Politics as she is acutely attuned to what is happening in not only the US but also the world.

Edward Cullen is a 31 year-old Junior Senator, with a rather lofty position on the US Senate Committee on Foreign Relations. Usually a job for high ranking Senators with long standing, he was chosen for his background in International Law.

There is high tension in the fictional state of the Republica de Soledaco (okay, so that could change because I'm not sure how I feel about it). It's a small country between Peru and Chile. Anyways, I'm going with a genocide type conflict that the government is trying to keep under wraps (I want to model it after Darfur and Rowanda, possibly even add a little bit of the Somalian Civil War that began in the early 1990's).

Being young (at least, in terms of a politician), Edward is distraught that they are trying to cover this up instead of working to help bring change to the country.

In college, Bella was a Journalism and Latin American Studies double major. Knowing what she does about the country, she knows what is happening. Knowing the political background of Edward Cullen, and his passion about human rights, she seeks him out to urge him to bring change.

What do you think? I do think the title will be changing. Politically Incorrect worked splendidly for a womanizing Edward story but as I said, I can't quite bring myself to write that.

Anyways, feedback is appreciated! Obviously I won't be doing anything with it for another week or two but I'm curious as to if it is an interesting concept to anyone else but me haha.