To move this forward faster… We have moved six months into the story. We left off in the middle of July and we now pick up in the middle of January… It was the only way to move this to where I needed to get Edward to without dragging on their relationship the way it was playing out to be. The song Edward sings at the club is called "Mend Your Heart" and it's by William Fitzsimmons (I am amazed by the analogies… He is a beautiful song writer… And I am forever jealous of his ability).

This chapter pulls significantly from the one-shot… Though there is more to read as well. I wouldn't have done this if it wasn't necessary…

Time for some heart fail.

You Found Me
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Chapter Fourteen

This has got to be the saddest day of my life
I called you here today for a bit of bad news
I won't be able to see you anymore
Because of my obligations, and the ties that you have
We've been meeting here every day
And since this is our last day together
I wanna hold you just one more time
When you turn and walk away, don't look back
I wanna remember you just like this
Let's just kiss and say goodbye

I had to meet you here today
There's just so many things to say
Please don't' stop me 'till I'm through
This is something I hate to do
We've been meeting here so long
I guess what we done, of was wrong
Please darling, don't you cry
Let's just kiss and say goodbye

Many months have passed us by
I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you, I can't lie
I've got ties, and so do you
I just think this is the thing to do
It's gonna hurt me, I can't lie
Maybe you'll meet, you'll mee another guy
Understand me, won't you try
Let's just kiss and say goodbye

I'm gonna miss you, I can't lie
Understand me, won't you try
It's gonna hurt me, I can't lie
Take my handkerchief, wipe your eyes
Maybe you'll find, you'll find another guy
Let's kiss and say goodbye, pretty baby
Please, don't you cry
Understand me, won't you try
Let's just kiss
And say goodbye

The Manhattans, "Kiss and Say Goodbye"

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He bit his lip and looked towards the crowd. Though it was hard to make out much of anything, other than the immaculately dressed label executives that were situated in a booth in the far corner, he knew she wasn't there. His heart was pounding; he needed her there to calm his unsteady nerves, he needed her to hold his hand, to kiss his cheek, to run her fingers through his hair. Fuck, he just needed her. What upset him the most was that she had promised him the moment he learned that Sony had contacted them to voice interest and a possible drop in during their next gig.

She had promised. And yet she wasn't there and he knew why. Jacob.

He was nervous. His future was hanging in the lines and though it was entirely possible that the two men sitting in the dark corner were nothing but two guys who had had a difficult day at work, he couldn't shake the thought that they were part of the Sony team. His dreams were either about to come crashing down on him or they were just about to be made a reality. He wanted her next to him for that. He wanted her to be there, to listen to the songs that had seemed to skyrocket their success in the city because they were all for her, all about her. If he made it, if his band made it, it wasn't because of pure raw talent, it was because of her. Their music had only come together when she had come into his life. She had given him purpose.

True, he knew he could do it without her but that wasn't the issue he was dealing with. He just wanted her there because for the first time since they had been together, he needed her. He couldn't figure out how it was fair that she was still with Jacob because he needed her for his job and she couldn't be there when he needed her for his music and his dreams. He loved her… Jacob didn't. It should have been an easy choice and yet, she couldn't make it. He was still taking a back seat to the idiot husband of hers. Why couldn't she just see that they were right? That they were perfect together? That they belonged together?

Pulling his phone from his pocket he glanced at the screen. Nothing.

"Edward!" He looked up from the phone and saw Garrett as he walked over, his arm around the waist of a rather beautiful blonde.

"Hey."

"Excited about tonight?" Edward just shrugged and looked from his friend to the woman with a curious glance wondering if she was the reason he hadn't been so persistent about getting him out of the flat. "God I'm sorry… Edward, this is Kate… Kate, this is my best mate Edward."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Edward… Garrett has told me so much about you," she smiled and extended her perfectly manicured hand towards him. He couldn't help but think that she was so different than Bella… Or at least, the real Bella, the Bella that only came out when they were together, the Bella that Jacob was smothering and trying to kill off.

He sucked up his thoughts and smiled at her. "It's wonderful to meet you too, though I'm sorry I haven't heard about you sooner." She smiled back at him and he glanced towards Garrett. "Thanks for telling me."

Garrett lifted his shoulders and cocked his head to the side. "Haven't seen you around… In fact, had it not been for Jasper and Alice, I never would have even heard about tonight."

"Well I'm glad you could make it… I should probably head to the back though."

"See you after?"

"Sure."

Edward didn't look over his shoulder. He knew how Garrett felt about Bella, he knew how he felt about the whole damn situation and if he told him the truth, he knew that sympathy was not something he would get. Even Alice was growing frustrated with him and his behavior though he knew she didn't blame him really.

"She's not here?" Jasper asked as he watched his friend sling his guitar over his shoulder.

"Doesn't appear to be."

"I'm sorry mate."

"Whatever…." He grumbled. He'd deal with it later. He'd call her and tell her how he felt, how angry he was. For the first time he felt betrayed and she needed to know that. She couldn't keep doing this to him. It was breaking him up inside.

"Are you ready?"

Edward nodded and walked onto the stage as the lights dimmed. He could hear the crowd but none of that mattered much to him anymore. He didn't want them, all he wanted was her. They played a few songs before he set his guitar down and walked to the piano. He didn't play it often, though it had been the instrument that had gotten him into music in the first place, but this song had called for it. He watched as the rest of his band mates exited the stage and made their way to the bar.

His hands ghosted over the old ivories; he noted that the color was yellowing though he couldn't be certain that it wasn't because of the light in the club. The tension began to melt slightly, it wasn't a complete release, but he found that whenever he returned to the wood bench and the white keys, something deep within him was soothed. He attributed that to the sound: he piano had a softer sound than the guitar. After teasing the keys for a moment he began to play, the song soft and melodic and beautiful. All he could do was curse her in his mind in that moment. She was supposed to hear this. She was supposed to be there.

He moved his mouth closer to the microphone before opening his mouth and letting himself pour it all out for the rest of the club to see: his anger, his love, his intense passion for her. He wanted people to see that he got her, that he understood her in ways that no one else did, or, as far as he was concerned, ever could.

She is like the water where I clean my baby
Floating from the front into the back to keep me
Warm enough to cover me from getting chilly
Cool enough to hide me from the heat

She is like a splinter that I caught in my toe
Running from the dog that chases me
Sharp enough to teach a lesson that I must learn
Soft enough to never make be bleed

And I will find you there
And I will mend your heart
And I will find you there
And I will mend your heart

She is like a cigarette inside an ashtray
nothing but a fire sets her free
Filling up my lungs until my body needs her
Holding on so I can never breathe

She is like a gravestone sitting in the church yard
Crooked from the ground in which she sleeps
Whispering my name until I go to meet her
Underneath the ground she finds her peace

His head dipped to his chest and he closed his eyes tighter and listened to the applause. It was over. It was done. Yet he wasn't really sure what it was he was talking about.

----------

He was pacing. He always paced when he was confused or upset. He hadn't heard from her all that night and it was morning and still, not a single call or message. It wasn't like her to be so distant, it wasn't like her to not contact him. Since they had gone to the edge she had made sure to find some way to connect with him at least once a day, usually more than that and it was unsettling that she was absent right now. Even more disturbing in light of how terrible she had made him feel the night before. He could see Hudson off to the side, his head following his movements and his face showed his anxiety. Edward was struggling with his want to call her but he was struggling to contain his hurt for how she was treating him.

His phone rang and he looked at the screen. At least he wouldn't have to make the decision after all.

"Hello?" He kept his voice as carefree as he could but he knew he wasn't doing a very good job at masking his emotions.

"Edward…" her voice was sad and quiet and his eyes widened. She sounded terrible and it made him panic.

"Are you okay? Bella? Is everything okay?"

"It's fine," she sniffed. "I'm sorry." He knew she was crying and he was both happy and upset about that. It was hard for him to really understand how he was feeling. Though he was certain that he loved her, everything that went along with that was completely uncharted territory. No other woman had ever affected him like this.

"Where were you?" His voice was harder than he had anticipated but he was still upset. Even hearing his remorse wasn't enough to soften the blow of her rejection.

"I couldn't get away."

"That wasn't what I asked."

"I'm so sorry…" Her sobs grew louder and he could feel his heart race. "I'm so sorry… So sorry." Her voice was mechanical as she repeated her words, as though she was rocking her body back and forth, trying to find comfort, trying to find something solid to hold onto.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"I can't… I'm just… I'm sorry."

"Tell me please… If it explains where you were… I need to know Bella. You promised me, no lies."

"He… I… I couldn't say no," she sobbed and he clenched his fists. He was seeing red. He was having a difficult time comprehending what it was she was saying… Of course he knew what she was implying, he knew what she was saying but he didn't understand it. He couldn't wrap his head around it.

"Did he force you?"

"No… but I didn't have a choice…"

"Fuck Bella…" he sighed and sunk down into his couch, his free hand cradling his forehead. He hadn't expected it to hurt this bad when the act would finally happen. He knew that she couldn't hold off on him forever, he knew that eventually she would have to sleep with him, but knowing and actually knowing were two different things.

"I'm so sorry…" she continued to cry. "I didn't want to… I swear Edward… I wanted to be with you but I couldn't go… You hate me…"

"No… I don't hate you Bella… I just…"

"I would hate me," she whispered. "I do hate me."

"I don't Bella… I love you too much… I just…" he paused searching for the right words. "It's just a lot to take in… I knew this would happen but it's different when it actually does…"

"Can I come over?" she questioned and he could hear the movement background, the distinct sound of a door opening and closing.

"Of course you can come over…"

----------

Fog enveloped the city like a blanket and Edward walked down the street, braving the winter chill in an attempt to find a payphone. His feet hit the pavement with loud, determined steps as he quickened his pace. He thrust his hand into his jeans pocket and rattled the change that rested deep down, his heart beats quickening with adrenaline as he realized what he was going to do. He had about two pounds of change there and had been saving them for a while and for some reason, tonight, he felt, was the night to put them to use.

All around him were reminders of everything that they had been. The coffee shop where they had first met at and his own clumsy accord and he had never been more thankful for a fight with his father than he had been that day. She had been the most beautiful woman he had ever known, striking and ethereal. He was so taken by her and it scared him and thrilled him at the same time. Only a few blocks down was the small, inconspicuous restaurant where he would order their take out when she did get to spend time with him. He had loved the place, she had loved the place… But now, walking there, the noise of the city muted and the sound of his feet guiding him, he felt terrified.

Everything was crumbling. His whole world was crashing down at his feet. She wasn't his. He had to give her up or he had to take action. He would never be the same without her but this was dragging out far too long and he wanted to know. He needed to know. He would wait forever but her inability to give him any kind of answer was tearing him up inside, breaking him down slowly and crushing his soul and his reason for living. He had to do something before he lost himself completely. They had been tip toeing around the issue for six months now…

He finally found a red phone booth on the side of the road and opened it letting himself in. His hand was still in his pocket and he scooped a few of the coins out before beginning to place them in the phone. He knew the number by heart, this hadn't been the first time that he had called her at home, but this was the first time that he was calling when he knew she wasn't there but her husband was. The phone rang three times before someone answered.

"Hello?" His voice was deep and American and though Edward had seen the man, he couldn't quite get over the fact that this was him on the other end of the line. His heart pounded and he wondered if he could hear it on the other end. He hoped that he couldn't. His mouth was dry and he was finding it difficult to find the words that he needed to say now that he had the opportunity.

"Who is there?" Edward couldn't bring himself to talk and instead hung up, hearing the change cling as it fell down to the compartment where the leftover money was given back.

He wanted to tell him. To tell him that he and Bella were together and that she wanted to divorce him but that would have been a lie. He was merely upset; she had upset him when she had left that afternoon. It seemed that each time they went to say goodbye he could only pester her about what she was going to do, if she would ever leave Jacob and move in with him. She told him to wait, but he couldn't help but feel the sting of jealousy when she would leave, smelling of him, to go home to the husband that never appreciated her.

He stood in the phone booth and pulled the collar of his shirt to his nose. It still smelled of her.

The change was placed back in the phone and he dialed the number again. This time, it was a female voice that answered.

"Hello?" He hadn't been expecting her back so soon.

"Bella, sweetheart, who is it?" Edward could hear his voice in the background but he didn't say anything.

"Edward?" She whispered. "Is that you?"

"It's me." He responded solemnly and though he couldn't see her, he could imagine the look on her face, the twisted combination of both pain and pleasure. He'd seen the look many times before.

"What are you doing calling this number?" Her voice was soft but rushed and he knew that she was trying to keep the conversation from Jacob's ears.

"I needed to hear your voice." He said, it was, after all, partially the truth. "I'm sorry Bella. I'm so sorry for putting you through this."

"I chose to be in this situation though."

"But I should have left a long while ago. We are only hurting each other."

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I don't want to keep hurting you but I don't know what to do."

"I know." He responded and he could feel the tears, hot and wet, as they began to fall from his eyes. "I love you… More than anyone could ever love another but I need to back out of this… I don't want to but I can't keep asking you to leave him and I can't keep lying to myself thinking that one day you will."

"Please don't give up on me." She pleaded and he heard a door shut. She must have left the room that she had been in to escape Jacob's prying ears. "I know this isn't fair for you but I can't lose you."

"But you can't leave him either." He sighed and ran his fingers through his tousled hair, his eyes closed as he remembered her doing the same thing only a few hours prior as they made love in his bed.

"I love you." He could hear her practically begging and it hurt him to know that he was hurting her, and he felt like he was no different, no better, than the man that she lived with knowing that she was probably crying now, but he didn't know if he could keep doing this.

"Then why can't you leave him? Why can't we be together?" He hated himself, hated the role of the dirty mistress that he had taken on but he was addicted to Bella. Addicted to everything about her and though he knew he had to give her up, he wanted to convince himself that he could share her with her husband so long as she loved him and she was happy.

"It's not time. It's not the right time."

"Goodbye Bella." He hung up and leaned against the glass, sinking down onto the floor as he held his head in his hands. He didn't want to go back to his flat; he knew that all that was waiting there for him was his dog and his sheets that still smelled like her.

----------

Bella wiped at her eyes. They burned. She thought she would have been used to it by now. It seemed that every day she was crying and today had been a whopper in terms of tear shedding. She didn't feel that she deserved to cry though. She had, after all, brought his all on herself and she was hurting those around her more than anything else. Every decision that she was making somehow managed to come back and bite her in the ass.

Quickly she made her way back into the hallway and opened the closet door, pulling on the sleeve of her coat. She was so lost in her own mind that she hadn't even heard Jacob walk into the area. She always heard him, it was hard not to when his feet hit the hard tile.

"Where are you going?" Jacob asked as she pulled her coat back on. "You just got home."

"That was Rose, she and Emmett got into a fight and she asked me to come over."

"Oh." He replied, walking closer to her. "I have to leave tomorrow for Brussels for a week."

She sighed and watched as his face hardened. He was going to get defensive and he knew it. Before she could say anything though, he held his hands up and puffed out his chest. "I have to go! I don't have a choice!"

"I didn't say anything." She replied softly.

"You don't have to say anything for me to know what you're thinking."

He had no idea what she was thinking, in fact, she wasn't thinking about him at all. Her mind was on the man that had been in her body earlier that day. Her mind was focused on everything about him, everything that she loved, that damn crooked smile that sent her heart fluttering, the way his hands felt as he touched her body, the way his voice was soft and tender when he would tell her he loved her, the way he set her body on fire, and the way that she needed him. But she couldn't figure out why she couldn't just leave Jacob. She wasn't happy living in their townhouse alone or even with him. She didn't love him like that anymore, in fact, after Edward, she was certain she could never love anyone the way she loved him. Jake would always be in her heart, even after everything that had transpired. It didn't matter how cruel he was to her now, part of her would always see him as the man he once was. But still, all she wanted was to be with Edward, to be with him in his one bedroom flat in Chelsea. She was happy there, happier than she had ever been.

"You don't know what I'm thinking." She finally snapped.

"You're right. Maybe that's because you don't talk to me anymore." He was shouting and she hung her head. She was sick of fighting with him. "What happened to us Bella?" He had somehow managed to regain composure and she could see the pain behind his eyes. It was that look, the look that showed all his remorse, which kept her from leaving him when it would have been so easy. Even amongst everything, she knew that he still cared for her, which was why her betrayal would kill him and why she knew the only way she could ever leave him was if he had what he wanted outside of their relationship.

"London happened." She sighed and stood on her toes, kissing his cheek. "I think I'm going to stay with Rose tonight. She was pretty upset."

"I won't be here when you get back… I have to leave early in the morning." He sighed and brushed the hair off her face. "Stay here with me."

She shook her head. Edward needed her, she needed him. "I promised… I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were leaving tomorrow."

He sighed and nodded his head. "Alright."

"Have a safe flight." Her hand was on the doorknob and she was out the door practically running to Edward.

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Johnnie Walker. He would drown his sorrow in Johnnie Walker. It wasn't the best idea, he knew that for a fact, but he knew that somehow it might soften the blow of letting go of the only woman that he had ever loved.

Thankfully his black label bottle still was nearly half full, otherwise his prized blue label would have been making an appearance and he never really anticipated it as a drink of sorrow… He had been saving that one for a celebration: like the day Bella would finally leave Jake… Or the day that she would agree to marry him…

He managed to get the top off and he held the glass rim to his lips, letting the dark liquor slide down his throat as he ignored the burn and instead just focused on getting completely pissed. The sooner the better. He needed something to heal his heart and though it wasn't a complete fix, it was sure as hell better than nothing.

When the bottle was nearly a quarter of the way finished he could hear the frantic pounding on his door. He stumbled to it, tripling slightly and rolling his ankle a bit but when he peaked through the peephole he wasn't sure if he was hallucinating or of she really was standing there, tears in her eyes, mascara streaked down her lovely pale cheeks, flushed from the cool winter air.

"What are you doing here?" He asked as he opened the door. His eyes were puffy and red from crying and she could feel her heart break into tiny pieces.

"I needed to see you." He stood off to the side and let her in. "I needed to know that you weren't going to give up on me."

He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and she knew that it was his reaction to stress, to try and calm his muddled mind. "Go home Bella."

"No." She said softly, walking closer to him and resting her palms against his bare chest. "I told him that I wasn't going to be home tonight, that I was with Rose. I want to wake up next to you… I want your arms around me… I want to feel you inside me again… I want to be close to you… I need to be close to you."

"And what about what I need Bella?" He raised his voice and she took a few steps back. He had never yelled before and it frightened her, though she knew she deserved it, that he had every right to be upset with her, hell, she was upset with herself. She watched as he visibly flinched when he realized he had scared her and he took a few steps forward so he could wrap his arms around her and pull her up against him. She could smell the whiskey on his breath. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to yell."

"I know." She whispered and pressed her forehead to his chest, taking a deep breath and smelling his skin, loosing herself in the comforting scent of his soap and she realized that he had washed her scent off of him from earlier in the day. That hurt her more than she would have liked to admit.

"So you can really stay the night?" His voice was hopeful.

"I can stay every night for a week." She said, looking up at him as he moved one arm from around her waist to her cheek, cradling it in his large palm. She leaned against him and he dropped his head down and pressed his lips to her forehead before picking her up and carrying her to his bed.

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The sun peaked through the clouds when the rained had stopped and he looked at the way the sunlight changed the color of her hair. She was curled up against him asleep, her mouth opened slightly and he could feel her warm breath on his naked chest. He pulled her tighter into him as he closed his eyes, pretending that this was how he could wake every morning but he knew Jacob would be coming back in two days and she would go back to the home she shared with him and he would be left with the memories of her in his bed, only made stronger by the fact that her delectable scent had permeated into his sheets.

He felt her stretch and he groaned as she rubbed against his erection.

"Good morning." She smiled, pressing her lips against his neck and pressing her hips against his own, grinding against him a bit.

"Good morning." He replied placing his hand against her bare back, rubbing her soft, naked skin as she trailed gentle kisses along his jaw.

"Tell me you love me." She whispered as she pulled away, resting her head on his arm.

He looked down at her, their eyes connecting and he moved his other hand to her cheek.

"You know I love you."

"Tell me to leave him."

"I can't do that."

"Please…" She begged and he watched as the tears pooled in her eyes. He hated that it seemed that every time they were together, she always seemed to cry. Wasn't love supposed to be easy? Why was this so hard?

"You know I want you… All of you, forever… But I can't tell you to leave him. I don't want you to resent me later for making you chose."He sighed and wiped a tear from her cheek.

"I love you." She sighed. "More than I have ever loved him."

His heart swelled at the words but he knew better than to get his hopes up. This was something she had told him many times before, but she was still with Jacob.

"I wish this was real… I wish everything in my past could just disappear…" She said softly against his skin. "I wish that this was my life."

"I know." He replied.

"Let me just pretend then, pretend that I live here… Pretend that there is nothing else in the world but us."

"Okay," he whispered softly as he closed his eyes and pulled her closer to him before pressing his lips against her own, doing exactly that, pretending that this was their life, that they were together and that nothing else existed. It was the only thing that he could give her, even if it did break his heart.

When she left this time, he knew that he couldn't keep her in his world. This was too hard for the both of them. They needed a clean break and that was what he would have to do. There was no more room for their relationship. They were only hurting each other. She would be okay, it was the out that she needed. He would give her that. And he was hopeful that over time, the ache he would feel for her would subside and he could find someone else that he might be able to love enough to keep her memory at bay.

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Well? Once again… I'd love to hear from you… As you can tell, the story is winding down… I estimate a five or so chapters to go… The chapters will feature Edward's heartbreak, Bella's psychological search for herself and what she wants in life, and some cameo's by a few other characters that are going to help our heartbroken characters find the ending that they deserve.

As per the positive response about the political Edward story… It will be done and I'll start it as soon as this story is complete… There is a chance of a sequel for this story… I'm not sure though… We'll have to see how it plays out.