Wow guys… I'm so sorry for how long this has taken… I'll just say that real life of course did get in the way and though I'm not thrilled with the chapter, I think it's because I'm so out of the swing of writing, though I anticipate the next one should be up to par… It was quite a difficult chapter to work through… But I will say that it's the first positive step in a long, long time… I hope that Bella starts to redeem herself… Though it's still going to take some time.

Thank you for being so patient. I know that it's been nearly a month and I thank you for not giving up on me. And I want to thank everyone for reviewing the last chapter. You all amaze me with your kind words and though I can't respond to everyone, I do cherish what you say and it brings a smile to my face.

I'd love to see the same kind of response to this chapter as to the other… There are so many of you who have this on alert and I'd love to know what you think as so many of you read it but only a few actually end up reviewing… Granted I don't write for reviews… I'd just love to know, especially now as the story begins to take a turn.

Thank you of course to zgirl21 and to NoMoreThanUsual. You both are amazing!

You Found Me
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Chapter Eighteen

So here we are again
Staring at the end of what we made and who we are
Never knowing when
One of us will break apart and walk the other way

Love, I don't know what to say
Love, I don't know how to stay
When you won't let me be the person that I am

The writing's on the wall, there's nothing to say anymore
So I'll leave before I fall apart right back into your arms
The writing's on the wall, you gave nothing and I gave it all
But I want something better and I won't let this burden bring me down

What are we to do?
What are we to say to one another now we're through?
Thanks for being you
Thanks for being all the things I had to say goodbye to

I'm over being lied to
I'm over being pushed into the
Person that you want me to become

The writing's on the wall, there's nothing to say anymore
So I'll leave before I fall apart right back into your arms
The writing's on the wall, you gave nothing I gave it all
But I want something better and I won't let this burden bring me down

Where did we go wrong?
We let it be so long
But now there's no turning back, let's face the facts

Lenka, "Bring Me Down"

__________

She never wondered what death meant or what it would feel like or how it would affect the people around her. After the accident, the one that took the life of her baby, a part of her own soul had died; a part that she knew she would never get back and subsequently allowed her to believe that she was already dead. But over the past year, something had changed, something that made up a fundamental part of who she was and she didn't have to question it anymore because she knew why. Edward. He had changed her, had brought her back from the dead, and restored the life force in her that had faded all those years ago on that dark and rainy street in Seattle. Death was now frightening though she was comforted in knowing that she could no longer hurt him anymore.

There was no bright white light beckoning her from the land of the living. She didn't feel an overwhelming sense of warmth and love enveloping her soul and body and though she could hear in the very depths of her mind a voice, she knew that it wasn't that of Saint Paul welcoming her through the pearly gates of Heaven. A part of her felt that the notion of Heaven was foolish, at least when she considered the long list of mortal sins that she had committed over the past year and never repented for. If Saint Paul had smiled at her and welcomed her though she would have questioned his sanity or the sanity of his supervisor; she knew she didn't deserve it and she knew she wasn't sorry for the sins she had committed. In fact, she would have surely laughed in his face and demand that he send her past purgatory and straight to hell. At least then she would know she could repent for the pain that she had caused Edward.

The one regret she knew she would have would be that she never told him how much she truly loved him. She had been selfish and cruel and treated him without regard to his own feelings. She let him love her but she had been unable to love him back because she was too afraid of what it meant, of what it would signify, of what it would do to her character. She had been so concerned with the husband she now knew she never really loved, that she had missed out on the love of a lifetime, the love of a true soul mate.

Ironic that the last book she had read had been Romeo and Juliet. As a young adult she had devoured the play, deconstructed every single line and wished that some day she would find her own Romeo. When Jake had come along, her parents had just divorced and she was splitting her time between Phoenix and Forks and he had been merely a breath of fresh air; someone she could confide in, a friend, her best friend. And when she was sixteen and he had come home from college and kissed her as they watched the sun set at La Push beach, she gave him her heart because that was what she knew, it was what she read about, what she dreamed about. Everything was perfect, they were perfect and it had felt right because she didn't know anything else and she never would have known different if she hadn't met Edward.

She should have left Jake the day her white blouse had been ruined on King Street. Even know she could recall with perfect clarity the electricity that pulsed through the air the moment their bodies collided. But she had been too foolish and even when he had kissed her, when she had kissed him and her whole damn world had turned upside down, she was still too much of a coward to make the right choice; she was too blinded by her own insecurities, blinded by the past that had always managed to haunt her, and blinded by her own misconceptions and understanding of what love truly was. Now, it was too late and she hated that she would never be able to apologize for it and to him. She would have to hope that somehow, he would know.

Her tombstone would read Black, but her heart and her soul would forever be branded Cullen.

__________

The rain hadn't managed to let up even three days later and it pounded against the asphalt with a ferocity that Edward had thought only existed in the pages of novels. London rain shouldn't have surprised him, he just hated that it seemed to fall like this as his own world was falling down as well. Metaphorical rain, used to symbolize the emotions of the characters in works of fiction seemed to be playing a role in his own very life and he wondered if she had something to do with it. He hated that it was the first thing that his mind traveled towards because if that was the case, he knew she was speaking from a place that was not earthly bound.

His body ached. His heart ached. His soul ached. Any pain that he thought existed when she had left was magnified at the pending thought of her death. He could have survived her being alive and not with him, but the thought that she no longer existed in the world tore at him in a way that he hadn't imaged was possible.

In that moment the lack of sound caused him to pine for music. He needed something to seek comfort in; a sound that could play that would put his mind and body at ease, even if only for a little while. Billie Holiday, I Cover the Waterfront. Van Morrison, Comfortably Numb. Otis Redding, Pain In My Heart. It didn't matter what the tune was, he just needed something and there was nothing, only the sound of the rain against the black cab and the sounds of the city street as it passed him by.

"Can you turn on the radio?" he questioned, leaning forward a little and he watched as the cabbie just reached forward and the station began to play through the small cab. The familiar cords of a song that he knew all too well echoing through the silence.

What little hope that he had to seek comfort in music was turned painful when the sound of his own song, a song about her, filled his ears and the sad tenor of his voice rang out. I can't let go… No, I can't let go of you… You're holding me back without even trying to… I can't let go… I can't move on from the past… Without lifting a finger you're holding me back…

"Please…" he whispered to himself as his head rested against the window, "let it be okay."

__________

There was an annoying beeping sound resonating through her ear drums and it served to be rather infuriating to her, made only more so with the poking and prodding of her body, a body that she felt eerily disconnect to. Still, she knew, if only because of the noise that she could hear, that she wasn't dead, that somehow, against all odds, she had managed to survive, at least for a little while.

She couldn't help but hope that there was something, or someone out there who had enough faith in her that they were giving her a second chance at life, a chance to make the decisions that she should have made. For once, she was beginning to feel hopeful; happy that maybe her own luck was turning around, that she was finally in control of her own future and she had the ability to make it into something that she was truly excited about. And yet, amongst the joy there was still an overwhelming sense of dread and fear that maybe the life that she wanted, the life she should have picked all along, would not be there for her.

"She seems to be waking up Dr. Cullen," a female voice called from one of her sides, though her own perception was off kilter and she knew not where it was coming from and when she tried to discern it by moving her head, she found that she was locked in place.

Her eyes began to flutter, the light from the ceiling blinding and she wondered why she ever thought to look for a bright white light when it only hurt. Around her she could hear feet as they scattered around her, tools and trays clanging and because she couldn't feel much of her body anymore, she worried what the damage must have been, worried about just how bad she was probably hurt. Still, she knew it was a miracle that she was even waking up and not comatose.

"Isabella, can you hear me?" The voice was angelic and slightly familiar but she was still having trouble adjusting to the world around her. "Isabella?"

She opened her mouth and though she tried to speak, it appeared that nothing more than a strangled sound was able to come out. Panic radiated through her body as she wondered what was wrong. Had her vocal cords been cut? Would she ever be able to speak again? Her body stiffened and again she felt someone touch her, though this time the hand was soft and reassuring.

"It's okay… You're safe. Your body is merely stressed. Relax Isabella."

She nodded and again tried to open her eyes, this time the light adjusted more easily and her eyes were met with the face of a man she had merely seen in photographs and whose name she had heard from the lips of the man that she loved.

__________

Edward had never hated hospitals as much as he did at the moment. With his father a successful surgeon, he had spent much of his youth terrorizing the nurses as he ran, much to his father's chagrin, up and down the linoleum covered floors and, if he had been feeling particularly playful, he would take his shoes off using the lack of friction to slide across them as well. Of course, it had landed him in trouble many a times over. Still, as he grew older, he continued to spend countless hours there, shadowing his father, growing to enjoy his visits and the people that he met; it was always an adventure, nothing was ever the exact same when he came in and he loved that about it.

But now, things were different, he was different. No longer did the hospital captivate him as it once had, and knowing that the woman that he loved was in there, just beyond the sliding glass doors that he was currently pacing in front of, was tearing at his heart in the worst possible way. He began to doubt everything that had happened between them over the past few months apart and he feared that amongst it all, she didn't know, didn't realize or understand that he loved her more than his own damn life. He was afraid that she would leave this earth and never know just how much she had changed him and just how much she would always mean to him.

"Edward?"

His head snapped up and he saw Rose standing next to him, her hand touching his shoulder, rubbing it in a manner to try and sooth his frazzled nerves. In that moment, everything that had been building, everything that he had been feeling seemed to explode and he was crying, for the first time, not because she wasn't there, but because she may never be there ever again.

"It will be okay…" Rose soothed, bringing him into her arms and cradling him, knowing that as much as she hurt over the situation, he was feeling far worse than she could ever imagine. "She'll be okay."

The rain had managed to let up, the stars peaking through the clouds, but he didn't care and he didn't notice. All he could think about was the accident and Bella. He was furious at her for driving in the first place; she had to have known how bad the weather was and yet she still was there, out in it, putting herself at risk, in danger knowing full well that she was an anxious driver. He just wanted to know why she was driving because if she hadn't been, things would have been different, she wouldn't be in there, fighting for her life.

"Rose…" Edward wiped at his eyes, not wanting Emmett to see him like this and both he and Rosalie turned their heads to see her husband looming over them.

"Is everything okay?"

"Jacob just got here. He was asking for you."

"Do you want to stay here with Em?" she whispered softly in Edward's ear, loosening her grip on his shoulders and pulling away from him slightly.

"I need…" He cradled his head in his hands, pressing hard on both sides hoping that the pain would allow all the thoughts that were currently filling his mind to go away. The last thing that he really needed was to continue thinking that she wasn't going to make it out of this. He had to believe that everything would be okay. He had to have faith even though it was the hardest thing in the world for him. "I need to go to her."

"We'll find a way…" Rose replied, running her fingers through his hair. "Somehow… We will figure this out Edward… I promise."

__________

"Isabella, do you know where you are?" Carlisle Cullen spoke and her eyes widened. She wondered if this was merely a dream. What could have been the odds that the man who saved her life was the man who was responsible for helping conceive her Edward? Was this life being cruel or being inconceivably forgiving? She knew that she didn't deserve Edward and now she owed her life to his father; if they were to ever be together after this, if that was even a possibility for them, she would owe everything that she was to that man for giving her that chance.

Her throat hurt, her body hurt, so instead of speaking, she half nodded and half shook her head. She knew she was in a hospital. Having visited plenty in her lifetime, she was more than able to discern that. What she didn't know was how long she had been there, what hospital she was in, and what exactly was wrong with her.

"You're at St. Thomas' and you've been here for three days. You were in a rather terrible accident on the M6 and lost control of your vehicle. Do you remember any of this?"

She shut her eyes tightly and in that moment flashes of what had happen interlaced with the accident of five years ago was playing behind her eyelids. She wanted to be angry with herself, she wanted to be angry with Charlotte for telling her that this was something she had to do, but she couldn't because it had led to the most startling realizations of her life: that she did not love Jacob, that he did not love her, and that she would spend the rest of her life showing Edward that she loved him if he would allow her to.

__________

Rose stomped into the waiting room where she found Jacob sitting, his laptop perched on the top of his thighs as he typed rapidly on the keyboard. He wasn't even paying attention and she wondered if he had even thought to ask about Bella or the status of her condition. Seemingly oblivious to her presence, the placed her palm on the back of the black plastic and slammed it shut.

"What the fuck?" His head jerked up and he saw her standing here, her arms now crossed tightly at her chest. "What do you think you're fucking doing?"

"Nice of you to show up," she sneered, her eyes narrowing as he put the computer on the seat next to him. "I can tell you really care about your wife."

"What do you expect me to do Rose? Drop everything? It's not like she's even awake."

"I don't think I've ever met anyone as selfish and as narcissistic as you are."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that if you even cared the slightest bit for Bella you would have called work and told them you needed time off. But you didn't. All you fucking care about is yourself and not the woman who has given up everything to follow you here… The woman who puts you before herself… The woman who sticks with you even when you are too much of a dipshit to really be there for her when she needs you."

"What can I possibly do for her when she's not even awake?"

"You could sit by her side and pray that she comes out of it! Fuck… Anything would be better than you going to work and expecting me and Em to fill in for your role but you know what, we've been doing that for two years now. I don't know why she even thinks she owes it to you to stick around."

Rose had never felt this angry before. She could feel every ounce of the emotion as it pulsed through her, as it filled her veins and took over her body. Her jaw was tight, her eyes narrow, her fists balled up and she wondered how badly it would hurt later. If she wasn't in a hospital, or if she knew for a fact that she could cause him even a shred of pain, she would have decked him, not only for her but for Bella and for Edward. Jacob had barely been at the hospital over the past three days that Bella had been unconscious; he had been there for a few hours on that first day and on the second only stopped in for an hour to speak to the doctor on duty before returning home or to work. Now, they were in the third day and though he showed up early, she was still furious that he was not focused on Bella but rather on work and getting ahead. He had his precious promotion and yet it still seemed as though he needed more. She knew that if it was Emmett who was unconscious she wouldn't have left his side, nothing would be able to tear her away from him.

And there was Edward. Edward who loved Bella but couldn't be with her and had left only because Rose said that he had to in order to keep suspicion down over the nature of their relationship. Life didn't seem fair in that moment and she hurt for her friends, hurt for them because more than anything she just wanted them to be together and yet fate and everything else seemed hell bend on keeping them apart.

"I'm here aren't I?" Her head snapped up and she gazed at him, her eyes taking in the darkness of his eyes, the anger and the impending danger that loomed there. She could tell that his patience was wearing thin and for the first time, she began to fear that he would snap and she wondered if this was something that Bella often saw and if it played into her inability to leave him.

"Whatever Jacob," she grumbled. "What the hell did you want?"

"I have to leave in two hours to go back to the office, will you be here?"

She snorted. "Of course you're leaving… And of course I'll be here. I love her too much to stay away."

__________

It had taken three whole days for Leah to muster up the courage to venture into Notting Hill and with every step that she took, her heart pounded in her chest regardless of how hard she tried to steady it. She didn't anticipate that Bella would ever forgive her for what she had done, for sleeping with her husband and then hiding it from her and allowing a friendship to blossom between them, but she knew that her friend had the right to know just how conniving her husband was and that she could be happy again. Even if Bella refused to ever see her again, Leah knew she would always feel a fond kinship to the woman.

From a distance she saw someone sitting on the stoop and as she grew closer she could tell that he was looking at something. Her steps halted when she was about five feet away and she let her eyes graze over him. He was dressed casually in worn jeans and a dark blue button up shirt that had been rolled up to his elbows and his hair was sticking up in every which way and he seemed to only make it worse as he ran his fingers through it, a habit, she mused, that was probably out of his control. Quietly, she inched forward and saw that in his hands he held a photograph, though she could not make out the image.

"I'm sorry, do you mind if I pass?" she managed to finally say and she watched as his head jerked up and she was met with a pair of sad, green eyes, swimming with an emotion that she knew all too well.

"There isn't anyone home," he muttered and stood up, the action allowing her a glance at the photograph.

Her eyes widened as she saw her friend wrapped in his arms and a brilliant smile lit on both their faces. The pose was natural and she noted that Bella's head was resting on his shoulder and though they were trying to be inconspicuous, neither were looking at the camera but were rather looking at each other out of the corner of their eyes. It was touching and, though it was a photograph, she felt as though she was intruding on something so completely personal that she had to look away.

Having been caught, he stuffed the photo into his back pocket and shut his eyes tightly, afraid for a moment that he might have just made Bella's predicament even worse than it already was and it wasn't until he felt the small hand on his arm that he looked up and saw the soft, compassionate gaze of the woman who had just learned their secret.

"You love her don't you?" Though he imagined it was supposed to be a question, there was no question in her intonation.

Unable to find the words, he merely nodded his head and sat back down on the steps. The exhaustion from not being able to sleep because of his worry had taken a toll on his body and even she could see it: the deep, purple bags under his eyes, the shallow gaunt structure of his face. He was merely a man without a soul.

"I think she tried to tell me about you a few times but she lost her nerve," she merely said as she sat down next to him. "I think she was afraid."

His gaze didn't leave the street so she continued to talk.

"I should have figured it out really… And, maybe I knew all along but didn't really see it. When Jake was out of town, she was a different person. She was happy, and alive and bright… I should have seen it but I didn't… I think I was too caught up in my own problems to really see what was right in front of me." She let out a sigh, surprised that she was letting this all out to a person who was a relative stranger. She wasn't sure what it was that possessed her, but telling this man, this man who so obviously loved Bella in a way she knew Jake didn't, seemed natural.

"Jake has been cheating on her and I don't think she knows… In fact, I know she doesn't because I was too much of a coward to tell her." He turned to look at her.

"What do you mean?"

"I slept with her husband," she admitted and for the first time, it felt as though part of her soul was restored and the weight that she had been carrying was slowly being lifted and she was able to breathe just a little bit better. "And I'm such a bitch because instead of telling her, I befriended her…"

"Why didn't you tell her?"

"Why didn't you ever call her husband?"

"I tried," he admitted and cradled his head in his hands. "I couldn't hurt her like that. I still don't even know what he's capable of."

"I tried too… But I thought she was so in love with him and the last thing I wanted to do was cause her pain…"

The air grew silent between them before she spoke up again. "Could I see that picture?"

He nodded and reached into his pocket and pulled it out, allowing the woman who said she was Bella's friend to gaze onto the image.

"Maybe if I had told her things could have been different…" she sighed and ran her finger over the picture of the couple. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "What brought you back?"

"I came to tell her the truth."

"It might be too late," he said softly and lifted his head, his eyes back to staring blankly at the pavement in front of him.

Leah didn't know what it was he was talking about, but she felt her heart wrench and she wondered if this all could have been avoided. She hated that she had caused not only Bella pain, but unconsciously also the man who she knew loved her more than anyone could ever hope to be loved.

__________

Rosalie had called him the moment that she had learned that Bella had woken up. His heart had never leapt so high in his chest before and the feeling of relief, never quite as strong as it had been when she spoke those words on the phone. He had also never run out of his apartment so quickly and though he knew it was wrong of him, he also knew that Jane would understand when he didn't show up for their lunch later that afternoon.

So that was how he found himself, sitting in the waiting room across from Emmett and Rosalie, Jacob in his direct line of vision. In his mind, he had visions of punching him and telling him that he loved his wife more passionately than he ever could and that the feelings were reciprocated. He felt no different than the man who had tried to make the phone call to him all those months ago. Nothing had changed; his feelings were just as strong, if not stronger than they had been. Still, he didn't act on them, still not sure what the future would bring and the last thing he wanted as to be kicked out of the hospital.

"Who is he?" He heard the gruff American voice speak finally.

"He's with us," Rose replied, no hint of anything else in her voice.

"I don't like the way he fucking looks at me."

Edward balled his hands into tight fists, channeling his aggression elsewhere but when he felt the cold, hard gaze of Bella's husband on him, his head snapped up, his eyes landing on Jacob's whose eyes seemed to widen in response.

"You're that guy in that band… The new one," Jake spoke, standing up and walking over towards him. "Your single just made the Billboard top twenty."

Edward just stared at him unsure as to what to do and completely flabbergasted by the man's mood swing. Still, he found it amazing that he hadn't recognized him from the Brits after party, then again, he had been a no body at the time and if he knew anything about Jacob Black, it was that he was married to his job. Though, on the other hand, the part of him that found it amazing that he didn't recognize him was furious that he was going to start talking business while Bella was still recovering. The man had absolutely no decorum.

"Emmett why didn't you mention this?"

"Because the time isn't exactly ideal for business," Edward grunted and spoke for Emmett. He looked at the hand that was outstretched to him with disgust and refused to take it.

"Isn't your label shopping around for a company to manage your tour come the release of your CD?"

"Jake… Seriously, I don't think this is the time," Emmett finally spoke up, noting the look of complete distaste on Edwards face. He knew that it was only a matter of moments before he snapped and would do something that he would later regret, something that may even get him kicked out of the hospital.

"Let me give you my card at least…"

"I would rather you didn't."

"Nonsense… Might as well make use of a terrible situation."

Edward stood up and puffed his chest out as much as he could though he knew that he still looked rather small in comparison to the large man before him. It didn't matter though, Jacob's behavior was completely appalling and how the man could even think about work at a time like the one that they were in was baffling to him. Jasper and the rest of his band mates had realized that he would be useless and had even gone so far as to forbid him to even come to any kind of rehearsal, not that he would have gone anyways. There was no way that he could have concentrated on the music when Bella was laying in a hospital. No, every ounce of energy he had was spent thinking about her and he couldn't do that if he had to think about chords and lyrics and how they sounded as he played them. That didn't matter to him, nothing was more important to him than Bella, even if he hadn't seen or heard from her in months. She was still the center of his world, she was still able to affect his emotions and his actions more potently than anything else ever could.

Edward's behavior however did not keep Jacob from reaching into his pocket and pulling out his card which he held between three fingers on his right hand which was extended towards Edward. His eyes went wide however as he watched Edward rip it from his finger tips before tearing it up into pieces and letting them fall to the floor.

"What the fuck? We just want to help you out… As a company AEG knows what they are doing… We're professionals who can really make your concert sell," Jacob snarled, never having been treated in such a manner.

"AEG might be professionals, but you are nothing but scum… I said from the beginning that now was not the time to speak about any concert that Waking in the Fire is going to put on. Aren't there more important things right now?"

"What would you know?"

Emmett stood from his seat, prepared to angle his way in between the two men who were now nose to nose. He could sense the tension though he knew that Jacob was unaware to what it really was that was bothering Edward.

"I know more than you think and I think it's sick that you're conducting business instead of looking after your wife who I would imagine would give up everything to make sure that you had what you wanted…" Jacob was about to cut him off but Edward slammed his palm against the large mans chest, pushing him back slightly. "And you… instead of giving her what she really needs right now, are more concerned with getting your own way than supporting her."

Jacob's hand clenched into a tight fist as he fought the urge to punch the musician before him. He knew that if his career didn't depend on it, and the fact that AEG was desperately trying to land the band who had been dubbed the next big band of 2010, then he would have had no qualms with making sure that his large fist connected with the face of the arrogant musician before him who knew nothing about the situation.

"I'd watch your mouth," he finally spoke through clenched teeth.

"Or what?"

"Or your band will go nowhere."

Edward laughed, the sound low and guttural. "I think I'd be more concerned about your life before you start thinking about mine."

As he was about to turn and walk away, Edward felt the large hand on his shoulder, turning him around before another fist went straight to his jaw, a rather loud crack filling the waiting room that had grown silent as the men had argued.

Instead of fighting back, Edward took the high road. He stood back up, his hand rubbing his jaw, knowing full well that it would kill him in a few hours and a bruise was likely to develop, and eyed the man who was now shaking his fist furiously.

If it didn't hurt, he would have laughed but instead he just shook his head. "You really are an idiot and you don't deserve what life has given you… One day, I guarantee that it will all come crashing down on you and I'll be standing there telling you, I told you so."

Before Jacob had the chance to respond, Edward was gone.

Willing to finish the fight that Edward had walked away from, Emmett squared his shoulders with his friend's husband. "He's right you know."

"Right about what?"

"You'll get what's coming to you."

__________

She had been lucid now for five days. The extent of her injuries now known: her right leg badly broken in three places, her left arm was fractured, twenty stitches across her forehead from a gash caused by a large piece of glass they assumed came from the windshield, and a scar that would form on the lower region of stomach later as a result of the surgery to stop the internal bleeding in her organs. Dr. Cullen had said that she was lucky the paramedics had gotten to her when they did, any later and she could have been dead.

She truly had been given a second chance and she knew exactly what she had to do with it.

She bit her lip as she felt her heart race, her eyes trained on the door, waiting for him to come in. Rose had told her about everything that had transpired over the past week: Jacob's absence, Edward's pain, and the fight. Her heart broke when she heard about the fight. Edward had been standing up for her and Jake had decked him. The ordeal had only helped her to understand that the epiphany she had before losing consciousness was correct, that she had been blinded all along and that she did deserve better than what Jacob had given her.

It was past four in the afternoon and Jacob had still not shown up.

"Ms. Black?" She looked from the window to the door to see Dr. Cullen standing there, his hands holding her chart and a small smile gracing his beautiful face. "How are you feeling?"

"I'd be lying if I said I felt great… But the painkillers help."

"I'm afraid it's going to hurt for a little while but I assure you that you will heal up nicely."

She smiled and nodded her head. "I've been through this enough to know that as well."

He let out of small chuckle, "yes… I did take a look at your rather impressive file."

"And you should see the one back in the states."

"I can only imagine."

She just nodded her head and leaned back against the pillow and watched him as he shuffled around the room taking her stats and writing them down on the chart.

"I assume you know that I don't often do this."

"What do you mean?"

"Check up on a patient as much as I have been checking up on you." He motioned to the bed and she nodded and watched as he sat down. "My son…"

Her eyes grew wide for a moment and she watched the small smile play on her doctor's lips.

"My son seems to be rather worried about you. I'll admit I was curious to know why exactly, as I had never heard him speak of you before though I was rather excited to see this change in him… After university he became rather… selfish." His words were soft and thoughtful. "His mother and I weren't sure what exactly had caused the change in him, he wasn't the same son that we had sent off to Oxford… Though, I suppose my insistence that he give up music and work in the hospital didn't do anything to quell his attitude."

"I'm sorry… I just don't understand…" she interrupted and he shook his head.

"About a year ago… He started coming around more… He was happier and though we still argued about his band he still continued to come around… He was nearly becoming the same man that we had sent off… But about six months ago… It changed again… He lost himself." Carlisle paused for a moment and rubbed his brow. "Alice had said that he had met someone but it ended under unfortunate terms and only after a great deal of pressuring her did she finally admit that the woman had been married and she couldn't leave her husband for some unknown reason… We let up on him a bit… Stopped pressuring him and it wasn't until I saw him at the hospital the other day did I realize that you were her."

"I'm sorry…" she said softly, tears filling her eyes.

Carlisle just shrugged. "Life… Sometimes it gives you a second chance Isabella… I admit that I don't know your predicament well, but I've had to deal with your husband… I think I know why you are so afraid to leave… But don't let that stop you… There are people who love you… Rosalie and Emmett barely left the hospital… Lean on them… But don't let this pass you by."

He laid his hand on her shoulder and she drew her bottom lip between her teeth while she nodded, "I know."

They sat there in silence for a moment before he smiled sadly at her and retreated out the door leaving her to her own thoughts as she tried to figure out how she could do the one thing that she knew she needed to while she still had the courage to do it.

__________

When she woke she found Jacob sitting on the chair across from her bed typing on that damned laptop that he seemed to bring everywhere. Bella stared at him for a good ten minutes before he finally looked up and closed the screen before leaning back into the chair.

"I called your father," he finally spoke. "He was going to come but I said not to bother, that you were fine."

"I wish you hadn't done that. I would have liked to have seen him."

"It's fine, you're fine… I don't get why everyone is acting so crazy."

Her heart was racing in her chest and she was thankful that Dr. Cullen had disconnected the heart monitor because she knew that it would have been off the charts and Jacob would have been able to tell what she was about to say.

"I'm not fine Jacob… I haven't been in a long time."

He rolled his eyes. "You're crazy Isabella."

"No Jake… I'm not happy… We aren't happy."

He sat up straighter, his hands wrapping around the wood armrests, his knuckles turning white. "What exactly are you saying?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"I'm saying that I can't be who you want me to be because I'm sick of it and because I just want to be me again. I'm saying that I don't trust you and that I don't think I ever can. I'm sick of taking second place, even third sometimes, to your work and everyone else. I'm sick of you telling me what to do and for blaming me for everything that goes wrong. But most of all, I'm sick of being married to you… I can't be married to you anymore, I'm done Jake. So, very done with it all."

"You can't divorce me Bella, I won't sign the papers."

"You don't have to… Washington State default laws still allow me to divorce you. I'm not asking for anything. I don't want money, I just want to be done with this… I can't live like this anymore."

"You love me Bella. You know you do."

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I don't Jake… and you don't love me either. So why can't you just let me go?"

"Because you are mine Bella," he snarled and she looked away from him and out the window.

They were silent and Jake moved towards the bed, sitting down on the side in the exact place where Dr. Cullen had sat earlier that afternoon. His eyes searched her face but she refused to look at him, she didn't know what else to say, she just knew that she was done and though he wouldn't accept it, she wouldn't be going back to their townhouse.

"Rose and Emmett are packing up my things… I'm not going back to the house when I get out of here."

"Yes, yes you fucking are!" She didn't tremble as he yelled, finally finding the strength within herself to not allow him to intimidate her. He was startled by her reaction, or rather, lack of reaction. In the past she would have cowered under his words and now she just sat there, her eyes indifferent and he knew that the words she spoke were true. He no longer had the ability to control her and it sent a jolt of anger through him that caused him to slam his palm on the bed, nearly missing the broken leg.

"You're going to fucking regret this," he snarled as he pushed himself off the bed and to his feet before reaching down and wrapping his hand around her wrist. "You'll see that you'll have nothing."

"That's where you're wrong…" she replied, not backing down as she pulled her hand from his grip. "I'll have everything again."

__________

Well?

There's been concern about how I'm going to reunite Bella and Edward… Let it be known that she is still has some self discovery to go through… Until she is certain of who she is, she has no right to be in a relationship… And when that time does come… You better believe she is going to have to fight for Edward. He still loves her… But that doesn't mean he's a masochist and that he's just going to let her off the hook.

There will be more Leah coming up as well.

Oh and come play on the twilighted forum. I do still post teasers there… Sometimes, more than once.

You can also find me on twitter… I update about the story occasionally to let you know what is going on and when things are going to get posted!