.Important A/N: Ok guys!! I will write this chappy twice once from EPOV and the other from BPOV, It have to do that. There are things that you won't understand till you read it from BPOV. Hope I'm not boring you that way. Sorry, but it really is important.

Disclaimer (yeah I know, I forgot it lol): I do not own Twilight, but I do however own Damien!!! And of course I own Edward…………In my dreams sighs.

Recap:

A lone sob escaped her as she stared into Damien's eyes with her tear filled ones and whispered, "hated"

A loud, ear-piercing scream cut through the silence of the morning like a sharp night. It was full of hurt and pain. As it echoed I realized that it belonged to me.

And her soft broken whisper, "Edward?"

Tears of an Angel

I recommend listening to "I cry" for Shayne War and "Tears of an Angel" for RyanDan. Believe me, they set the mood :p

EPOV

What have I done?! That cry was unintentional and involuntary. I couldn't control it. It was like…The pain became too much to bear, like I just……exploded. My cries were always trapped inside me. Silent and controlled. But now……Now, they were breaking free. My pain was too much to be contained in my chest anymore.

But now what? She heard me, she knows I'm here. Should I go? I wasn't ready, I was scared. Too scared. How could I face her when she was so broken? How could I look at her when I made her feel hated? How could I even look her in the eye after what I've done? What could I say to her? Apologize? No apology in the world could be enough. Even if I knew what to say, would I be able to stand her refusal? Her disgust? Her resentment?

I shied away from the thought of having to see and hear that. Too much……Too scared…Too ashamed…Too guilty…Too pained…

My breathing hitched as I shook. I've never felt so afraid. Never in my life. Not even when I thought that she might have been dead, I had a thread of hope then. That she might be alive. And even if she wasn't, she would be in a better place…moreover…a safer place…away from me.

But now………I was panicking. I could lose her forever, not in the way I had originally feared, but it a more painful way. She would hate me. She would go on living and forget me. She would grow up and love someone else. She would get married and have children……She would never think of me again………

"Edward" I heard a voice whisper from beside me. I felt a hand on my arm but I couldn't look at it. I had my eyes fixed on Bella's form inside the room. She was staring at the window with a blank expression. She couldn't see me, but I could see her. I always saw her. I will always see her.

"Edward" Alice whispered again, "you can come back……later"

Later? I couldn't leave, not now, not after she realized I'm here. What would she think if I didn't show myself? She'd think I didn't want to see her. I cringed.

No, I don't need to shove more dreadful thoughts in her head. I had to make myself clear. Right here and right now.

I took a deep breath and pushed my shaky figure up on my feet. Alice stood up with me, her hands hovering around me, expecting me to fall, I assumed. But even though I felt I would fall, I didn't. I was trying to gather as much strength as I could to acquire the courage to just…talk to her.

"Damien……Is…he out…there?" she whispered shakily.

Why was everything against me? Why did she have to sound so scared? So breathless? So small? If she sounded like that……….then how would I sound like to her?

Um……I have to tell her the truth……she heard you Damien thought hesitantly.

I didn't answer. I was searching for my voice. Where was it? It betrayed me, along with my courage. I had no hope of any bravery. I was stuck with my terrified self.

"Well…um…he is" Damien stuttered.

Alice helped me reach her window. Either because I looked like I was about to collapse, or because she somehow heard my silent plea to come with me. When I reached her window and she saw me, she gasped. Her hands gripped the sides of her blanket. She looked at her blanket and when her gaze met mine again, her eyes were full of so much pain that I couldn't look in.

I let my feet touch the floor and I watched them as I stood up right. My head bowed in front of her, unable to look up.

Bella's breathing sped and her heart started crashing against her chest. My head snapped up and found her eyes were already unfocused. And in a second I was beside her. Sitting n my knees on the floor. Fisting my hands in the sheets of her bed. My chest filled with panic that swelled till it blocked my throat. My eyes watering with the urge to cry.

"Bella" My voice came out strangled as I released the sheet from one of my fists and took her soft warm hand in mine. I knew I shouldn't have done that. I wasn't allowed to do that. Not now. But I couldn't help it.

Her eyes squeezed and she gasped. "No" she whispered, "you're not here" she gasped again.

Edward give her the medicine, before she's too far gone. Damien thought to me. I hadn't noticed his departure. But I quickly stood up, dreading the fact of leaving her hand, and ran to get her a cup of water that had her pills right by it's side. The cup shook in my hand and the water spilled out of it as I took it.

Bella was still gasping. So I carefully put the pill between her warm lips. Then, I slipped my arm under her neck, lifting her a bit off the bed. I allowed myself to enjoy that short embrace as it could be my last. I touched the glass to her lips and gently poured some water in her mouth. She gulped and then started coughing. I sat her up right to help the water run down her throat. Even her coughs were soft, like none other.

The small choke seemed to give her the push she needed to come back to reality.

She took deep breaths as she struggled to control her……seizure.

Look at what you've done! One look at you and she's already getting sick! That's enough reason to make her resent you for eternity! I cringed as I basked in myself-inflicted pain. Each breath she took with a struggle cut through me like sharp blade. It was maddening.

Once her breathing steadied, she was frozen. She didn't look at me. She just stared at her bag that was across the room. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. The struggle was still clear on her face, she was still trying to hold on to reality. I stared at her flawless beautiful face as if it were the last time I'd ever see it.

Her lips parted once but she closed them again. Then opened again and she mouthed, "What……are you……doing here?" I cringed. I closed my eyes and reluctantly pulled my arm away from her. What should I say now? What could I say? Could I even talk?

Couldn't I just stay in the dark? Safe and away from all of that pain? Even with my eyes closed I could feel it gnawing in my chest. I could feel it weakening my body with every passing second. I could hear it in my incoherent thinking.

"Edward?" she croaked, and when I opened my eyes I found hers. She was staring at me with tear filled eyes. Tears of pain, tears of sadness, tears of self-pity, tears of……resentment.

I collapsed onto my knees in front her, gripping her sheets again and staring intensely into her wide eyes. "Please don't cry" I pleaded. A broken plea. A plea to save my burning body, even though it didn't deserve to be saved. After doing all that to her. Why should my body be spared?

She averted her gaze and tried to hold tears back…………for my sake. I felt sick. Sick to my core. Even after what I did to her, I asked her to do things to me. And she consented. What kind of filthy monster am I?

"I……I'm sorry" I whispered even though I knew it was a worthless word to say after what I've done. I hurt her. I left her to live her pain. I made her feel hated. I caused her psychological problems. And now, I, very simply, come and tell her that 'I'm sorry'. How idiotic was that?

She turned her head slowly back to meet my gaze, "sorry?" she whispered. Confused. "Why?"

My eyes tightened, she believed I didn't love her. Of course she wouldn't understand why I was apologizing. I struggled to keep my pain from showing, "Bella……I…I…I love you. What I said before……" But she cut me off by shaking her head, violently, back and forth.

"No!" she shouted, making me cringe back a little. Her hands covered her ears and her body shook. "No! No lies. Don't you realize what that could do to me? You feel guilty. I get it. But you lying for me, because you pity me, won't do any good" She shouted as she pushed against her ears tighter.

A loan sob escaped from me as I reached, testily, and pulled away one of her hands. "Please Bella" I whispered, "I'm not lying" I pulled her other hand, trying to stop my hand from shaking. She just stared at me but it was clear in her eyes that she didn't believe it. Her eyes were so full of tears that were in danger of falling. And her lips were pursed.

"I left because I wanted you safe. I never stopped loving you. What I told you before was a lie" I said as firmly as I could manage, but still it sounded broken.

Bella's eyes closed and a tear fell down her cheek, "Please" she pleaded in a breathless whisper, "please, you dunno what you're doing to me" She took a shaky breath. "If I believe what you're saying…" She shook her head sadly.

"Believe it" I pushed, "I swear to you, that what I'm saying comes from nothing but my heart. It has nothing to do with pity"

More tears ran down her face and her eyes squeezed, "please Edward. If you've ever loved me, don't make me hope" She begged. I squeezed her hand.

If I've ever loved her? All I've ever done was love her? Everything in my world was about her. All I've ever loved was her. All I've ever wanted was her. And I've never been so desperate to make her hope as I've been now.

"Bella…" And to my surprise I was sobbing. Her eyes snapped open at the sound of my sobs. Her eyes were wide as she met my gaze, "I love you devotedly. I can't live with the fact that you think I don't. Please Bella……hope, Believe,…..trust…" and I trailed off. Could I ask her to trust me? She trusted me before with more than just herself. She trusted me with her life. With her heart. And I damaged all of them.

I stared at her with an agonized gaze. Begging her to believe. Asking her to trust me but without voicing it.

"E…Edward…I c…can't" She stuttered in fear as she tried to look away from my gaze.

Her resolve was crumbling, I could see it in her eyes, she was fighting it. What could I do? What could I say that would make her believe? I was getting frustrated with myself more and more. For causing all this. For giving her a reason to doubt my undying love. And a very good reason, too.

"No" She shook her head sending another stab in my heart, "No, you already said I'm not good enough for you, and you're righ…."

And I exploded. My self-disgust and pain just blew up. And suddenly I was shouting, "Good enough for who? Me? A filthy, rotten monster like me?" I shouted, "I never deserved your love in the first place to lose it. And now, I'm selfish enough to beg for it when I don't deserve it now more than ever" I took her face in my hand and looked directly into her wet eyes.

"Please believe me" I begged.

"I…I…" She stuttered as her eyes searched mine frantically, and I could almost see it. She was already believing it. And she was about to admit it but, "No, I can't" She whispered and more tears gushed. It was like she was talking to herself more than me.

I left her face and reached in my pocket to get out what I've always wished to give her. What I've always desired to see in her possession. I took her hand in mine and opened it. Palm up. And I put it gently there. Her other hand covered her mouth as her tears fell on her opened hand. "This was my mother's ring. I wanted to give it to you ever since I laid my eyes on you. I wanted to you to wear it and know that you own me. That you hold my heart. And that I would be able one day to call you mine." I stared into her eyes intensely as she shook and her sobs broke free, "This ring never left my pocket ever since I left you. Just like my love for you never left my heart" I whispered honestly. It was the only way I could think of to prove to her that I loved her.

"Edward" She croaked and her sobs grew louder. She reached out and put a hand on my cheek. And I was just electrified. The sparks that shot through me at her simple touch were insane.

I slowly, giving her time to show her refusal if there was any, pulled her into my arms and buried my face in the crook of her neck. Smelling her sweet scent, and her hair. Her hair just had it's own scent. Something that had nothing to do with blood. It was just such a sweet scent that it sent waves of calmness through me.

She sobbed softly in my chest and I buried my fingers in her hair, holding her to me. Not wanting to let go of her.

"I……I love you too Edward, but…" she choked and I stilled, "This…c…can't happen…n"

My throat tightened and I gripped her tighter as I felt myself losing her again. "Why?" I barely mouthed.

"The Bella you once knew is dead"

A/N: Oh no! I did not just stop here. Sorry but I did :P. Ok, before any of you hates Bella, wait for her POV first. It clears up a lot. Hope you liked the chappy. I am very nervous. I am trying to get better at describing the emotions. You know, challenging myself. DO you think it's better? Or should I go back to my normal style?? Please tell honestly.

Love

Mai